Busy day

I had promised to write about my ground-breaking topping experience with Beautiful Torso Guy but I have no time today.  

I've come a very long way in my mindset regarding anal sex in the past six months.   Back then, just the thought of sticking my cock up some guy's poop chute grossed me out. Ewwww!!!  I couldn't bear to look at videos or even still pictures of anal sex.   But now that possiblities of anal sex have been .... er... opened up to me, I find these materials both erotic and arousing.

I've had all three kids with me recently so my time has been fully occupied:

• assisting my ultra-organized middle daughter in unpacking from my move and de-cluttering
• driving my son to and from the ski hill with his friends but luckily, it's 20 minutes away
• driving my daughter to and from work in town (I can't wait for her car to be ready!)
• adding up receipts for six months' worth of my son's expenses (our only minor child) to compare with my wife's receipts. I'm finding this year end accounting a bit tense!
• having my parents over for our deliberately-delayed Christmas dinner *

We're all "turkey-ed  out" so the kids and I cooked recipes from my favourite Two Fat Ladies cooking series for our Christmas meal:

Crab, Corn and Cilantro Fritters
Beef Wellington 
Potatoes (Pete's Pommy Pommes)
Apple Pandowdy

I'm also having a bit of difficulty in expressing how positive this topping episode was for me despite a couple of unfortunate incidents which happened.  

I already told you about his dislocated shoulder.  This little cartoon from Mangina Monologues gives a hint as to what else happened.

Beautiful furry torso

 In recent days, I've been busy helping my 20 year old daughter buy her first car.  Since she's paying for it all by herself on a university student`s budget, we've only looked at used cars in the +10 year range.

I'm enormously proud of my three kids for their money sense, lack of materialism, work ethic at their jobs and financial goals.  These values have only intensified as they've observed my financial difficulties caused by my divorce. 

For example, all of my 16 year-old son's recent birthday and Christmas presents have involved (at his request) the purchase of tools.  These he'll need for his future career as a trademan. 

My charismatic 18 year old daughter rocked her grade 12 graduation dance this year, looking gorgeous in a little black dress purchased for $10 at a thrift shop and altered by her sister, an expert seamstress. She easily outshone the over-indulged, snooty girls in $500, parent-purchased gowns.

My daughter and I test-drove many cars, had some assessed by a mechanic and today, arranged a safety inspection, insurance and licensing on the excellent car we did finally purchase.  Exciting!

This is my excuse for not blogging about the hookup (mentioned in my last post) with a good-looking, athletic 44 year old twice-divorced father of two kids.  He had the most beautiful, lean, furry torso I`ve ever seen in my life, not just in person but online as well. I`ve included some pics of young guys with lovely torsos from fuckyeahhairyguys but none of them comes close to the perfection of Beautiful Torso Guy, as I`ll call him.

It turned out to be an unforgettable hookup for both good and not-so-good reasons. After much begging, he convinced me to take his bottom virginity.  

For the first time ever, I am starting to think of myself as a top. We started out with him riding my cock and then I pounded his ass in the doggie-style and then missionary positions.

But then, sadly,our anal fun ended rather abruptly ... is it usual for a bottom to suffer a dislocated shoulder during rough sex? I didn't mean to hurt him, honest!!

Full details to follow on my next post on Sunday morning ..... how's that for a cliffhanger?   :-)

Nudist erections

That's about as "un-Christmas-y" a title as you can get but it will generate a spike of blog hits from google searches.  I stumbled upon this nudist erections site and it seemed just the thing to look at on this chilly,  -23 C morning.

These pictures bring back fond memories of my afternoon on Toronto's clothing-optional beach.  It was a cloudy, coolish September day but there were still many hot guys with beautiful cocks, legs and asses in view.  I can't wait to go back on a scorching hot day next summer.  

Nudists claim that nude beaches are not about sex but about "freedom", "self-respect" and being in "harmony with nature".   These pictures of dozens of men with lovely engorged cocks would disprove that .... for me, it was all about getting hot and bothered, looking at sexy, naked men. 

But I need to get out of bed and attend to my own grooming ASAP, because I'm having a man-friend visit.   He's a good-looking, athletic 44 year old divorced dad of two kids, a toddler boy and a tween girl.... and I think, fairly inexperienced with M2M sex.   We've been chatting on pof.com for months but haven't met as he lives 300 miles away.  His first stop on his Christmas visit to town is to have some sexytime with me!

So far, I've had a fantasic Christmas break!  (despite concern about my wife's latest erratic behaviour)

Christmas Eve was spent at a dear friend's open house with my parents and three kids.  My wife attended as well but we stayed in different areas of the house and didn't speak.   She refused to meet my eye, actually, when I passed by.  She looked pretty bitter and ill-at-ease.

After much internal debate, I did get my wife a Christmas present;  a boxed DVD set of her all-time favourite 70s TV show.   She didn't get me anything and hasn't yet thanked me but she might, eventually.   I very feel good about taking the high road' and hope she follows my example.   If she doesn't, it would just highlight to me and everyone else how badly she's been behaving lately.

The kids slept at her house on Christmas Eve and opened their presents there the next morning.  That's our standing agreement as Christmas morning is very special to my wife;  she's always given them lots of nice presents and made a big fuss about it. 

Christmas dinner at my parents' was fantastic.... my entire extended family was there except my ex. We had a hilarious time telling the grandkids fun stories of our childhood. 

Example:  when I was six, my father (an avid hunter) had us grind up an entire moose using a little hand-cranked kitchen grinder.  It was an old bull, too tough to eat. The idea was to save a few dollars by not renting an electric meat grinder or hiring a butcher.  Everyone was pressed into service;  from elderly aunts to little children for the full-day task. Too funny!

With some effort, I managed to arrange today at home alone so that I could have some sweet time with a hot, naked man.  It's been too long since I've kissed a guy or sucked cock and I'm craving it.

I'd like to wish all my blog readers the warmest wishes

for a happy holiday.  Thanks for reading!

Real speedo men

Last night was our coldest night of the year so far ....   -21 C.  I love the Canadian winter!  But at the start of winter, these cold temperatures are hard to get used to.   "Brisk", as we like to say.

So.... here are some pics of hot guys from dirty-speedo.tumblr.com to warm us up.  These days, I rarely see Speedos in real life but it would be fantastic to go to a place where I could... Rio or the Costa del Sol in Spain, for example.

 I had not seen my Special Guy for around seven months and we've had no online communication for five months but we ran into each other yesterday in a busy store.  Very unexpected.

Although I have never properly blogged about my Special Guy (but I will, one day), I can say that we had an intense relationship for about five months earlier this year.... and that I had strong feelings of love / infatuation / lust for him.  I know the feeling was mutual but we were living in a fantasy world .... because he's married with four adult children.

But I I regret seeing him  yesterday.  I'd convinced myself that I'd gotten over him, but now, I'm not so sure.  There he was, looking more handsome than ever.   We locked eyes (his are piercing blue) for the 15 seconds of our encounter.

Special Guy, spotting me first:  "Hi!", with a smile but apprehensively.  In July, I told him I wanted no contact with him at all and he's respected my wishes.
Buddy Bear:  "Wow!"
Special Guy and BB, simultaneously:  "You look good!"
SG:  "How are you?
Just then, I spotted his wife* bearing down on us with a sour look on her face, so I said "Making progress!" as I quickly walked away without looking back. 

If he had been forced to introduce us, it would have been as awkward as hell.  The looks on our faces would probably have betrayed what we were thinking.

* I'll sound like some bitchy old queen, but my gosh, Special Guy's wife was so deeply unattractive.  Pear-shaped and hefty, she had mousy brown hair with a really butch haircut.  There wasn't a speck of femininity or even effort made in her appearance.   Special guy is handsome, well groomed and an immaculate dresser;  she looked like some big, brown wren.

I wonder if that's what happens to a woman who has been married to a man for 35 years who likes other men.   It wouldn't matter if she dressed up or not, he still would have no interest in her.  In the end, I felt deeply sorry for them both.

---------------------------------------------

I had a fantastic day yesterday with my three kids (20. 18, 16) at my house with my parents.  It was my 18 year old's birthday and I hadn't seen her since September since she'd been away at university.  Our first conversation went like this, with her two siblings listening in:

Daughter:  "Guess what, Dad?  I have a boyfriend at school.  A brown boyfriend."  ... she said mockingly.
BB:  "Great!  So you finally dumped whats-is-name!" referring to her grade 12 boyfriend who I didn't think was good for her.  "What sort of brown?"
Daughter:  "His family's from India."
BB:  "I think Indian men are hot."
Daughter:  "Oh, Dad!"  rolling her eyes.  "So, tell me about your man-friend."
BB:  "No!"
Daughter: "Oh, come on!!!  What's he like?"   She was relentless in her teasing.
BB:  "I'M NOT DISCUSSING THIS WITH YOU.  Anyway, there is no man-friend."
Daughter:  "Too bad!"

Blasted!

Here's some handsome guy -  cute doggie pics for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.

Thank goodness my 16-day Christmas break has started ... yesterday, I was so exhausted, I could barely stand up, let alone teach! I told my grade 12 class that I felt like "a horse that's been rode hard and put away wet" which caused much tittering and pink faces as they took it to be a sexual innuendo. The embarassing part was that they would think that I would ever say anything inappropriate in class!

In the last stretch of pre-Christmas craziness, I was in our administrators' offices daily discussing incidents such as the student bringing a knife to school, another two vandalizing a keyboard in computer class (my assistant and I didn't notice anything) and another student who was supposed to be working independently in the resource room but had 'escaped' and was causing problems in the hallway. 

On another day, I had an interview with a parent at school to discuss Johnny's rotten behaviour, which (we found out later through the grapevine) was secretly recorded without my knowledge and consent. This deeply concerned my principal as the parent involved was known to be a former member of a biker gang and a drug dealer.  I was asked to report it to my union for my own protection and the admin team is investigating. A worry!

In the midst of these distractions, I didn't read the final copy of our 45 page divorce agreement.  My wife and her lawyer signed it before I noticed a clause of concern which had been inserted by the lawyer.  Yesterday, I send a simple e-mail to my wife asking where it had come from.

I was blasted with a screaming phone call which ended with her slamming down the phone following by two abusive texts.  Not to excuse her behaviour, but she's always been a little bit lot crazy just before Christmas.  She also told me that she had an "upsetting incident" with someone from our past life.  No doubt, she was told-off by a former neighbour.

But this is what really set her off: "did you know that today is the third anniversary of when i found pictures of naked men with erections on my laptop.  merry christmas to me!!"   I laughed out loud when I read this. Not a funny laugh but more a rueful laugh. Oh my! She needs to get over it!  But I'm not going to be bullied into signing the document until we've cleared up my concerns.

My kids and parents are coming here tonight, so I'm preparing a birthday dinner for my charismatic middle daughter who arrived yesterday from university thousands of miles away.   I haven't' seen her in four months!  Woo-hoo!  I also have some Christmas preparations for this, my first Christmas in my new waterfront home.

I will wait until after New Years' to discuss the divorce agreement with my wife after she's cooled down and after she's gotten through Christmas. I'm sure we will reach an agreement in the end ... but it really sucks that I have to worry about her erratic behaviour all over again.

Hooked up with my student's brother

Recent pic of Perfect Physical Specimen

OMFG!!!!  

Being a high school teacher in the small(ish) city where you've lived your entire life means public anonymity is nearly impossible. 

Every time I venture out into public, I run into many people I know such as students, parents or siblings of students and work colleagues, past and present.  I also run into friends, relatives or people with whom I went to elementary school, high school or university. 

The same problems exist on the online hookup sites.  I've been messaged by former students, closeted work colleagues (present and retired) and people I know in other capacities including a publicly-elected official.  I knew who they were but they didn't know me.

When I'm messaged by a guy in his twenties, the first question I always ask:  "What high school did you go to?"  About 25% of them are former students at my school.  The conversation usually goes like this:

Buddy Bear:   I teach at the same school  you went to.
Horny Young Dude:  cool i want to meet u.  im horny
BB:  Never!  I'm not hooking up with someone who might have been in my class.
Horny Young Dude:  wont tell anyone cant remember any of my teachers anyway.
BB:  No!
Horny Young Dude:  plz.  so hot sucking my teachers cock
BB:   Dude!  It ain't happening!!!  NEVER!

When Perfect Physical Specimen messaged me for a back seat blowjob last August,  he told me that he attended high school in another province.  Woo-hoo!  Green light for Buddy Bear! 

Clothed-Unclothed

Although I haven't hooked up with Perfect Physical Specimen since October  (he lives too far away),  we chat using POF's instant messaging system several times a week, always initiated by him.   He tells me about his problems with girls and other drama going on his life.  He also hints about us having sex again as I posted about in my post "I'll hold my butt cheeks open for you". 

This week Perfect Physical Specimen  posted some new pics on his POF profile, including the picture in the top left corner.  (I cropped his handsome face off....)  He also posted a family group picture showing two dumpy parents and four brothers.  Perfect Physical Specimen was the oldest of the boys.

To my horror, I recognized the third youngest brother.  He's presently a student in my grade 12 class AND had been my student in grades 11 and 10.   Shiiiiit!!!   Shiiiiit!!!  Shiiiiit!!!

Buddy Bear:   Who are those other people?
PPS:   My parents and three younger brothers.
Buddy Bear:   Hmmmm... what do your brothers do?
PPS:  My 22 year old brother goes to college in town; my younger two brothers go to _____ High School. (my school)
BB:   Cool!

This means:  (1)  I won't be sucking Perfect Physical Specimen's cock, ever again, no matter how nicely he asks.  and (2)  I might have to skip out of this year's graduation ceremony in June where I'm usually on stage giving out awards.   Imagine how awkward it would be at the meet-and-greet afterwards when my student introduces me to his parents and his oldest brother, Perfect Physical Specimen.  Yikes!

Truck stop slut

I always get a tingle of excitment when I'm messaged on pof.com by a new guy.  Recently, I've had a upswing in these contacts but they've been mainly older married guys playing footsie ... they all want sexy talk but chicken out when it comes time for a face-to-face meeting.   These days, I'm mainly saying "no" to married guys anyway unless they're extremely hot.

Last night at 9:00 pm, I opened a message from Trucker Dude with much anticipation. His face was rather rough-looking, graying, grizzled and looking much older than his claimed age of 48.  Disappointing.  He listed his body type as "a few extra pounds" but looked quite tubby.  Hmmmm.... I wasn't sure I'd be attracted to him.  

Trucker Dude:    Looking for some company.
Buddy Bear:   What do you like to do with guys?
Trucker Dude: I don't do anal but I'm open to everything else.
BB:   Can you host? Where are you?
Trucker Dude:  Yes I can host in the sleeper of my truck.  I'm at the highway truck stop.
BB:  We'd hook up in the cab of your truck?
Trucker Dude: yes
BB:  Cool!  I'll be there in fifteen minutes.
Trucker Dude:  It's the white Peterbilt with Alberta plates.  Don't knock.  Come straight in the driver's door.

I put aside my misgivings about his size and appeance.  How cool would that be to hook up in the back of a transport truck!  Exciting!! 

At the nearby truck stop, I made my way down the rows of idling trucks hoping I'd pick the correct one in the darkness.  I climbed into the cab, took my shoes off and climbed into the sleeper compartment in the back where he waited.   It was very warm and cozy, fitted with a double bed piled with blankets and pillows.  Really nice!

Trucker Dude was shy and nervous, with a huge belly but looking much younger  than his profile pic.  My cock started stirring at the sight of him so all was well.  We stripped off and lay down together but when I moved in for a kiss, he said:  "I don't kiss guys!"

FUUUUUCK!!!  Kissing is my primary means of arousal;  I never hook up with guys who won't kiss.  "But you said you'd be open to everything with guys!"  He shrugged.  I said:  "Okay.... fine." 

He moved down and began to suck me off, but with his disappointing announcement, my cock was as limp as yesterday's lettuce.  It felt amazing as he worked his magic on my now semi-hard cock but I was no longer into it.  After several minutes, I told him that I wanted to switch positions 

He had a smallish "fun-sized" cock which was easy to deal with.  He was my favourite type of blowjob recipient, highly vocal, moaning, squirming and catching his breath.  Because of his warning of "no butt play",  I massaged his taint during the blowjob rather than my usual prostate massage. 

But then he spread his legs wide, knees pointing towards his shoulders and with his asshole yearning heavenwards against my hand.  So what the hell ....  I inserted my finger.   He started rotating his ass with my finger in it, "Yea... work my ass Baby!  Work it!!"   My most aggressive prostate massage ever!  A power bottom, I think it's called!

When he finally blew his load, I held his throbbing cock in my mouth for some time.  He dragged himself upright and offered me some hand sanitizer and hand wipes. Too funny!!!

I jumped into my track pants, shirt and shoes and disappeared into the wintry night.  No regrets but I must remember to ask the next guy whether or not he kisses.  I usually do.

The truck looked like this but he didn't.

School violence

Here`s a video clip of Robbie Parker, father of one of the little girls killed in the Connecticut school shootings.  You can just feel his searing pain as he talks about his beautiful daugher. I admire his courage for even speaking publicly about this and defy any caring person to watch this without tearing up. 

Canadians sometimes think that these school shootings are an American problem but we've had several incidents over the years including one thirteen years ago in Alberta and six years ago at Dawson College in Quebec.   The massacre at École Polytechnique  in Montreal in 1989 was unique in the world because the fourteen who died were targeted because they were women studying the non-traditional field of engineering.

We cannot imagine the horror experienced by the students in Connecticut, both those who survived and those who were killed, and the anguish of their parents.  But my thoughts also go out to those courageous teachers who put their lives on the line to protect their students .... as most teachers would do, I think.  

I constantly witness this commitment to the well-being of students amongst the teachers at my school but on a much smaller scale.   They are galvanized into action to help our at-risk students who have challenges such as suicidal thoughts or other mental health issues, illness, injury or parental neglect or abuse.

In my province, all schools must practice lockdown drills at least four times per year to prepare for such violence.  But I still find a too-relaxed attitude among my school administrators about the increasing numbers of potentially violent students with emotional or mental health issues.

Presently, I have one extremely challenging "all-boys" grade nine remedial-level class.   Of the twenty students, the majority are "high risk" and over half have been identified with conditions such as Asperger's, ADHD and learning disabilities.

Last month, one of my students from this class had what I could only describe as a psychiatric episode in class.  VERY disturbing!  The head of our special ed. department was summoned and she too was unable to dislodge him from his state.  I should add that this student also had a safety plan which was created after earlier incidents of violence at school.

I send this email to our school principal and vice-principals:  "Student X needs an immediate referral to a mental health professional.  Medicating him and forcing him to go to school in a traditional classroom setting is not working.  His behaviour is becoming more and more erratic and worriesome.  If this continues to escalate, one day Student X will come to school one day and start killing people."

I am most certainly not 'the little boy who cried wolf'  as this was only the second time in my twenty-year career than I wrote such a message. 

One of my administrators told me that they laughed at my "overly-dramatic" email.  "Student X isn't going to kill anyone!!"  I said:  "Not now!  But just give him three or four years and then we'll see!"   The vice principal spoke to the student but no other action was taken.

Three weeks later, the same administrator called me into her office.  She said:  "Student X has been suspended for a week.  He came into school today with a knife .... he said he was going to use it on some boys who he claimed were bullying him." 

I said, "Really?!!   REALLY?"  Not one word was said directly about my earlier e-mail but just the fact that I was summed to the office for this news was an acknowledgement that I had been right.   Graciously, I resisted the urge to say: "I told you so!"

TMI Thursday: The War on Christmas

This feature by Sean of Just a Jeep Guy was also completed by anne marie, Cubby,  John Thomas (a new addition to my blogroll) and I'm-not-sure-who else. 

Which religion or faith do you belong to?    I was baptized, christened and married in the Lutheran Church.  We even had all our three kids bapitized there too but I cannot imagine why!  I've only attended Sunday church service a couple dozen times my entire life and will never go again ... too many judgemental hypocrites!

What is your opinion on seasonal greetings?  I prefer "Merry Christmas." 

Holiday music on the radio?   I don't listen to music radio, ever, only news and documentaries on cbc.ca.   But during Christmas week, I play my only Christmas CD by Anne Murray.

What is your policy for exchanging gifts?    My most important Christmas presents are for my kids  and I always find them something they really want.  My oldest daughter loves to receive high-end cooking equipment or some cookbooks.  My ultra-organized middle daughter provides us all with her 'wish list,' mainly books.  My son only wants power tools, socket wrenches and the like.    

I usually give my parents a calendar of family photos, tickets for our community auditorium and "coupons" to a be exchanged dinner at my house with the grandkids several times a month.

DILEMMA:  I'm not sure if I should give my soon-to-be-ex wife a present.  I don't know if she's giving me one;  it's been a tumultuous year!  But last year, she gave me a laptop computer.  Maybe I'll ask the kids' opinions.

Gift cards/family update letters are...  I love receiving gift cards!  I use them at the after-Christmas sales and show the giver what I got.  I never receive family update letters

Christmas cards ... I send one Christmas card to my ex-mother-in-law filled with photos of the kids.  We love each other dearly and she remains hugely supportive of her gay ex-son-in-law. 

Snow is... beautiful!  It means it's time for all my favourite sports:  snowboarding, cross-country skiing, snowmobiling and outdoor skating.

Have you been a good little boy?  If  you mean "good" at giving pleasure to sexy 22-year-old men, I would say an unequivocal "yes."   I've been very good indeed.  ;-)

RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
1. Food:  Roast turkey, wild rice stuffing, mashed potatoes and my favourite vegetable dish from my ethnic group, lanttu laatikko.  (click here for the recipe written in English)
2. Dessert:  Chocolate mousse, wild blueberry cheesecake, a molten chocolate cake with whipped cream... I love all desserts!    
3. Song:  The Huron Carol, a favourite of mine since childhood.     
4. Movie:  Miracle on 34th Street,mainly because of Dylan McDermott's blue eyes and the sexy cleft in his chin  
5. Tradition: Christmas dinner at my parents' house, which my wife has insisted the kids keep doing, even thought it means that she's alone every Christmas afternoon and evening
BONUS
Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe? Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Clause? Have you done it a santa suit? Did you come down the chimney? Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers?   Sadly, none of the above.  I must add these to my bucket list.

"I like to be tied up"

My wife and her lawyer signed our 45-page Separation Agreement yesterday.  My signature will have to wait until after New Years' because my lawyer is out of town.  I could sign it before my lawyer's final look at it but that could compromise its integrity as a legal document should a dispute occur later.

Both my wife and I are very frugal and are committed to keeping our legal fees at a minimum.  So we refused to let our lawyer-mediator print off the five copies needed for which we would have been billed hundreds of dollars.   Instead, my wife had it e-mailed it to me and I printed it out at my workplace at the expense of my employer.... naughty!  

This may seem to be an inconsequential story but it speaks to the high degree of cooperation and trust which now exists between us.  We know of many divorces in which the parties seem intent on destroying each other.  But all they end up destroying are the family finances and the emotional well-being of their children.

Monday was to have been my "week off" from having my kids living with me but my son has extended his stay until Thursday morning.  And my daughter is coming out here tonight for a few days..... I had to cancel Old Dude yet again.  Darn!


In yet another missed opportunity, I was to join an sincere-sounding, masculine 54-year old gay virgin at his hotel after school yesterday.  But he arrived very late after a 300 mile drive along a treacherous winter  highway.  I had already returned to my home, some 30 km away.   

I was disappointed but mainly for him.  We agreed that it would be unsafe for me to drive to his hotel that late at night.  We plan to get together on his return trip two weeks from now ... I hope it happens!



But I'd never gag a guy's mouth.....

In other interesting hookup news, I've been messaged several times by a 35 year old cook.   He's 6'-0", athletic build and has some handsome self-pics posted on pof.com.  He seems very funny and polite and has invited me twice to his place.  Both times, I was unavailable but this is one hookup which I really want to make happen

He asked me if I liked being aggressive when I'm with a guy.  I had to think about before I answered: "Yes!"   Even as a gay virgin, I very much liked to be in charge.  If I'm with an aggressive guy, then I at least want to match his level of aggressiveness. 

Buddy Bear:  Why?  What do you have in mind?
Submissive Dude:  i prefer bottom and i like being a sub plus a lil bit of being tied up
BB:   Wow!   Hot!  Count me in!

I need to learn more about these dominant-submissive roles in sex play  ..... I know nothing about it.  But I must admit, just the idea of pleasuring a naked, handsome guy who's been tied up is quite exciting.  I'm getting hard just thinking about it.   :-)

Dogably Pawfect Saturday

Copyright: Stonehouse Photography

.... but a day late for Sean's weekly "Dogably Pawfect ..." feature.  All three pics bring tears to my eyes. 

Please read the story behind the first picture  which has gone viral online.  There's also an interview with the dog`s owner.  19-year-old Shep has arthritis and and finds relief in the cold waters of Lake Superior.

Not much to report as my life has been a little dull lately;  no drama at all! 

My parents and I ran into my wife at our local symphony orchestra's Christmas concert * (my daughter is a member) and she was polite to my parents:  no snubbing or spousal drama at all!  She's been appallingly rude to them in the past and then she wonders why my whole family doesn't like her.   

* Note to self:  I really must join some community group after New Years' so I can 'put myself out there' in real life rather than just online.  There were many lovely men at the concert and quite a few of them were clearly not straight.

In recent weeks, it`s been very slow on the hookup front, I must admit that.   Doug said it was probably the cold weather and the upcoming Christmas season which is causing the slowdown.  Perhaps... but it also might be that online, I'm starting to look like a piece of browning fruit that's been on the supermarket shelf too long.


Mr. Neill, who is terminally ill,  worries about his dog`s future.

My perennial problem has been that my son is here most of the time so I can rarely host.  But now, my  20 year-old daughter just told me that she's looking to buy a used car "so she can come out here whenever she wants" rather than just  on weekends.  She can't stay here during the week because we just have one car and our work / driving schedules don't match.

Yaaay! Even fewer opportunities to host!  Just kidding ... partly.  I am so lucky that my kids are comfortable with their gay Dad and consider my place as their primary home.  Soon, they will be on their own and maybe living in other cities so I need to enjoy their company when I can. 

Next week, I just have just two play dates planned, one at home with Old Dude who is, in fact, three years younger than me.  The second one is with a 54 year old guy travelling on business and staying in a fancy hotel.  He says he's very inexperienced but is eager to experiment.  He's also a masculine guy:  blue-collar job, 6'-2" and, judging from his picture, has lovely muscles and not too much fat.

I'm thinking of arranging another platonic date with Doug but I'm still unsure how I feel about him.  I had sort of an odd phone call from him yesterday and I'm concerned that he is going to become infatuated with me ....

I haven't had a message from a 22 year-old in weeks!  Darn!  Maybe that's the reality of 50 year-old-guys on these hookup sites;  everyone wants to go younger.  But there's a slight chance the young men are busy with their university exams which are in progress;  I've mainly been with university and college-age students. 

I might have to wait for the new school year for the next crop of young students to arrive, eager to experiment with old(er) men.  Sluurrp!!




UPDATE!   "A man embraces his dog as she receives saline from a drip from a veterinarian hospital financed by Sao Paulo’s municipal government. The hospital offers free health care for the pets of low-income residents in Sao Paulo, Brazil.";  FROM:  vjbrendan.com

Dick!

Ian, a handsome young man who writes the honest, thoughtful blog  Mind of  Mine,  has asked bloggers to help him promote an 'adult pantomime' comedy show in London.  The vast majority of my readers live in the USA but quite a few are British, so here it goes! 

"Brash, bawdy and very filthy, this cabaret-infused offering at Leicester Square Theatre is the most promising of this year's crop of 'adult pantos'. It features characters with names such as Sofonda Cox and Queen RUnt, places such as the Streaky Crack, and legends such as that of the 'bell-end'. You get the gist." - CRITICS CHOICE, Scoutlondon

For more information about the show click HERE.
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http://hot4hairy.tumblr.com/

Doug and I had a enjoyable coffee date but I still am not sure what I think about the whole thing.

He is an aboriginal guy, 47, reasonably good-looking with dark hair, brown eyes and honey coloured skin.  I am the most attracted to such darker-skinned men, whether aboriginal, Indian or Middle Eastern.  He has a  flawless, slim body;  5'-11". 

Doug was good to his jeans.  In fact, I was hard throughout much of our date.

He's intelligent and is capable of a lively, funny conversation as we exchanged stories about some of our more unfortunate encounters.  Interested in a super-masculine, early 30s firefighter who wanted to wear a diaper during a hot encounter?  (Doug's story)  How about a mid-30s guy who wanted to have sex in the inner-city bus station washroom and nowhere else?   (My story:  I said "no", as tempting an offer as it was...)

Three years ago, Doug returned to his blue-collar hometown after 25 years to look after his elderly parents.  This year, I'd been told several times that this is a hard town to be gay in and Doug agreed, calling it a "backwater."  He said that once he discloses he's HIV+,  he usually never hears from the guy again.  Doug said this never happened when he lived in Toronto or New York. 

I repeated Sean's and Cubby's comments:  I was at far greater risk having sex with any random guy who could have been lying about his HIV+ status or had never been tested.  Sex with him would be "low risk" since he made the disclosure, had a non-detectable viral load  and took every precaution needed.

I told Doug that he seemed even more depressed than the last time we met.  His new job as chief finanncial person at the only HIV/AIDS organization in town is an excellent one and his colleagues are great. 

But he finds his job draining as he's in constant contact with people infected with HIV / AIDS.   Sadly, the largest group of recently-infected people are homeless, uneducated, unemployable Aboriginal woman many of whom work in the sex trade to support their children.  The hopelessness of their situation was grinding him own and he was presently in counselling to learn coping strategies.

Doug said:  "All I want is a friend .... someone to go to the movies with, skiing or go to the gym a couple of times a month."  

I can relate!  Since leaving my old neighbourhood, I have no one nearby to do such things with either.  I used to do many of those things with my children but they are rapidly leaving the nest and have jobs and friends of their own.  In fact, I have very few friends, period.  Please read Dr. Spo's recent post on this. 

I told Doug that I wanted to be friends too and said that we would plan something in a week or two.  My major concern is that he will not be able to keep it "just friends" and will start to fall for me and want a LTR.  And it's not his HIV+ which a concern to me.

Having lived with a chronically-depressed person for the past 20 years, I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER become seriously involved with a someone with that condition, whether they seek treatment or not.   My gut instinct is that Doug is in that category and I'm not wrong about this. 

But I'm thinking that Doug and I might go to the gym together maybe two weeks from now and see how it goes.  I'm really not sure.

ps:  while writing this post, I received this POF message from him:  "Looking forward to seeing you and maybe sucking your cock and rimming that sweet ass of yours...."   Hmmm....
 

Slow but steady divorce progress

It is pretty cold, dark and bleak here.  How about some lovely beach men from dirty-speedo.tumblr.com/ to lift our spirits?

I'd like to thank everyone for their fantastic comments on my last two posts on World Aids Day and about my coffee date with the HIV+ guy.  I'm seeing him this evening;  details to follow. 

I'll continue the discussion about safe sex and hookups soon, but for now, I've thought enough about HIV, safe sex, and STIs! 

Our lawyer-mediator has been in contact with us several times this week as she needed our agreement on five items to finalize our draft Separation Agreement.   Some of these could have been a source of considerable conflict but after much e-mailing, texting and some compromise, my wife and I quickly came to agreement on all of them.

It has been nearly three years since my wife my found out that I liked guys ... and it's been a very long journey indeed for both of us.  We both are soooo anxious to get it over with.

My wife and I have reached a state of cooperation and trust which is just remarkable... and something which I never thought would happen.  Each of has been fulfilling the terms of our draft Separation Agreement since last June, seven months before we've even signed off on it.  This includes items such as spousal support (paid by me), jointly paying for my son's expenses and university tuition for our daughters. 
 
Soon, our final Separation Agreement will be printed out.  It will be reviewed and signed by my wife's lawyer and then by my lawyer.  THEN, we will meet again with the lawyer-mediator to sign it and to fill out the forms to start our joint, uncontested divorce.   FINALLY, one lawyer from the same firm will file for divorce on our behalf, probably by mid-January.   Our divorce should take about three months to make it's way through the courts.   

My hosting of guys at home has dried up to pretty much nothing.  My son has been living with me for nearly a whole month with only a couple of days at my wife's.   On Monday morning I said to him: "So!!!  I guess tonight you start your two weeks at Mom's!"   My son: "No, I still have another week here."

I knew that he's already been here for the alotted two weeks but I didn't say anything.  I don't want him to feel anything less than welcome here.   Our relationship and level of understanding between us just seems to be getting stronger as time goes on.  The horny hookup guys will have to wait!

Until our divorce is finalized, I just cannot risk having my wife find out that I'm having guys over to the house or dating openly.  I really don't think she will react well to it, at least initially, but she will get used to the idea soon enough.  But after out divorce, I will feel perfectly free in telling my kids, "I'm having company this evening.  Can you go to your friend's house for a few hours?"  And I know they will be okay with it too.

Coffee date with HIV+ Guy

If I happened upon any of these sexy sleeping guys, I'd have an irresistible urge to tickle their lovely cocks and balls.   (by the way, I'd never do it for fear of being arrested...)

In my last post, my reluctance about having sex with HIV+ Guy* generated a great deal of valuable discussion.  The state ments by Sean and Cubby that "you have already had sex with someone with HIV" are a bit jarring.

By sheer coincidence, HIV+ Guy* invited me for coffee on Sunday evening.  I couldn't go since my daughter had my car and I was stuck out in the country with no wheels.  But we made a date for later this week.

* By the way, I will call him "Doug" as it's highly disrespectful of me to name him for a probably non-detectable medical condition.

He's a very nice guy and anyone my age would consider him a "catch. "  We've met twice before in the very early days of my life on the online hookup site but to be honest, I wasn't quite feeling the chemistry. If we do meet, I intend to admit to Doug the honest truth about my (past) concerns about his HIV status and let the chips fall where they may. 

But we might not even meet;  he's proposed coffee dates a couple of times before but didn't follow through when I wasn't available on the first invitation

My main concern about Doug (other than his HIV+ status) was that he seemed a bit morose, depressed even, during our first two meetings.  I think the main trigger for this mood was that he is lonely and is constantly rejected by all the local gay guys because of his HIV+ status.  

Having lived with a depressed person for twenty-one years, this would be the biggest deal-breaker for me.   I have a positive, smiling personality that some describe as charismatic or vibrant.     "Depressed" is one thing that I'm not!

My even bigger concern is that I'm nowhere near finished my slut phase.  If I get involved with anyone too soon, I will be forever yearning for all the cocks that I didn't suck.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  We're just going out for coffee!  But I'm fairly sure that Doug will ask me out to the movies, dinner or just to the gym with him .... and I just not ready for "dating."  But if he invite me to his bed ... well... I just might say 'yes.'

World AIDS Day

From Corey's Dark Corner

Today is World AIDS Day,   December 1, 2012.

Very often, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had figured out I was gay as a young man rather than at the age of 48.  There's a strong possibility that I would have become infected in those early years and might now be dead. 

I was nineteen in June 1981 when the Center for Disease Control first reported on cases of Kaposi's Sarcoma and pneumocystis carinii pneumonia occurring in young gay men.  Within a couple of years, HIV / AIDS would be reported in 85 countries in the world representing all regions with many thousands of people infected.

From the ages of 22 to about 27, I was a lonely virgin, horny as hell, lacking in self-confidence but having no success with woman.  Hmmm... I wonder why?  I was living alone in or near "gay mecca" cities such as Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal. 

Had I had the self-awareness or courage to experiment with men at that time, I know it would have been unsafe sex.   At that time, very little was known about how the HIV virus was spread .... in fact, the term "unsafe sex" scarcely existed.

I was so starved for physical contact that any handsome, older and perhaps unscrupulous man would have been able to convince me to do just about anything.

Most alarming are recent statistics which show that 1 in 4 (26%) of new HIV infections in the USA occur in youth, between the ages of 13-24.   60% of youth infected with HIV do not know it and and can unknowingly pass the virus to others. As well, young people are among the least likely to get tested. 

At one point during my most recent hookup with Nerdy-Cute Student, in the heat of his sexual desire, he tried to stuff my condom-less cock into his ass.   I pulled away from his grasp and reprimanded him like some old school-ma'rm:  "We mustn't!  I need to put a condom on first!!!"  He shrugged and agreed .... but I strongly hope that he continues to use a condom with all his partners.  I don't want to have to worry about him.

As well, American statistics from 2010 show that some 67% of new HIV infections occur in blacks and Hispanics.   Researchers speculate that men in these groups are more likely to be closeted and  "on the down low," more likely to engage in unsafe sex and less likely to be tested.  Another good reason to be "out and proud", I suppose.

Most experienced gay men my age have a long list of friends and acquaintances who either have HIV / AIDS or have died from it.   Living as "straight" family man for twenty years, I didn't personally know (or know of) a single person with HIV / AIDS .... not one! 

Even in the past two years, I've only knowingly met two men infected with HIV, one of whom I blogged about last January after we had a coffee date and the week later, went to the movies.  These were pleasant enough experiences although we don't have too many common interests.

HIV+ guy still messages me on pof.com every now and then ...  he 'wants' me!   He's good looking, pleasant, very fit,  has lovely muscles and is extremely experienced.   In sort, he's exactly the sort of guy I should be seeing.  He could be the man I need (among other things) to take my sexual skills and experience to the next level, unlike all the 22 year old gay virgins I hook up with.  

But to be really honest and at the risk of getting some negative comments, I'm fairly sure that it's his HIV+ status which is holding me back from having sex with him.  There, I said it.

Moving on!  Here's a corny, safe sex video with cutie Brent Corrigan.  You can find the uncensored version on www.dcfukit.org/ which is much more interesting.