|From Corey's Dark Corner|
Very often, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had figured out I was gay as a young man rather than at the age of 48. There's a strong possibility that I would have become infected in those early years and might now be dead.
I was nineteen in June 1981 when the Center for Disease Control first reported on cases of Kaposi's Sarcoma and pneumocystis carinii pneumonia occurring in young gay men. Within a couple of years, HIV / AIDS would be reported in 85 countries in the world representing all regions with many thousands of people infected.
From the ages of 22 to about 27, I was a lonely virgin, horny as hell, lacking in self-confidence but having no success with woman. Hmmm... I wonder why? I was living alone in or near "gay mecca" cities such as Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal.
Had I had the self-awareness or courage to experiment with men at that time, I know it would have been unsafe sex. At that time, very little was known about how the HIV virus was spread .... in fact, the term "unsafe sex" scarcely existed.
I was so starved for physical contact that any handsome, older and perhaps unscrupulous man would have been able to convince me to do just about anything.
Most alarming are recent statistics which show that 1 in 4 (26%) of new HIV infections in the USA occur in youth, between the ages of 13-24. 60% of youth infected with HIV do not know it and and can unknowingly pass the virus to others. As well, young people are among the least likely to get tested.
At one point during my most recent hookup with Nerdy-Cute Student, in the heat of his sexual desire, he tried to stuff my condom-less cock into his ass. I pulled away from his grasp and reprimanded him like some old school-ma'rm: "We mustn't! I need to put a condom on first!!!" He shrugged and agreed .... but I strongly hope that he continues to use a condom with all his partners. I don't want to have to worry about him.
As well, American statistics from 2010 show that some 67% of new HIV infections occur in blacks and Hispanics. Researchers speculate that men in these groups are more likely to be closeted and "on the down low," more likely to engage in unsafe sex and less likely to be tested. Another good reason to be "out and proud", I suppose.
Most experienced gay men my age have a long list of friends and acquaintances who either have HIV / AIDS or have died from it. Living as "straight" family man for twenty years, I didn't personally know (or know of) a single person with HIV / AIDS .... not one!
Even in the past two years, I've only knowingly met two men infected with HIV, one of whom I blogged about last January after we had a coffee date and the week later, went to the movies. These were pleasant enough experiences although we don't have too many common interests.
HIV+ guy still messages me on pof.com every now and then ... he 'wants' me! He's good looking, pleasant, very fit, has lovely muscles and is extremely experienced. In sort, he's exactly the sort of guy I should be seeing. He could be the man I need (among other things) to take my sexual skills and experience to the next level, unlike all the 22 year old gay virgins I hook up with.
But to be really honest and at the risk of getting some negative comments, I'm fairly sure that it's his HIV+ status which is holding me back from having sex with him. There, I said it.
Moving on! Here's a corny, safe sex video with cutie Brent Corrigan. You can find the uncensored version on www.dcfukit.org/ which is much more interesting.