Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Bubble bath

This second-last set of pictures for pic-a-day-in-May was again suggested by my favourite anonymous commenter, "B".    Thank you!   I'm sure you figured out that I needed very little prompting to take half-nekkid self-pics.   During this most stressful time ever, these little risque photo shoots were a nice distraction for me, therapeutic, even.

After our lawyer-mediated session on Monday, there was silence from my wife for two days.  No texts, e-mails, phone calls or messages relayed by the kids.   Normally, we text or e-mail many times each day.  I knew that it would take my wife (and me) some time to recover emotionally from our mediation.

The mediation was just was so insanely intense and after 2.5 years of never-ending turmoil, it represented one of the final steps before our marriage was over.   For me, it was a mixture of sadness mixed a feeling of excitement:  "I've escaped!"   For my wife, I'm sure there was no anticipation of an exciting new life ahead of her, just anger, bitterness and sadness.

Just last week at my workplace, a young woman who works closely with my wife exclaimed, "She loves you, you know!  She loves you!!  Can't you two work it out? "  That broke my heart because maybe there was some truth to it.  I didn't want to tell her that we couldn't remain married;  I was gay and couldn't love my wife the way she deserved.   I excused myself and found a private place to shed a few tears;  those raw emotions again!

In the mediation post, I didn't mention that my wife was also refusing to pay her share of a separate, $1,700 fee payable when we file for divorce with the courts.  This evening, I received this e-mail from my wife:

"Hi.  I will pay half the divorce.  At the time I was trying to keep from crying and that just seemed to come out as a way from preventing the tears. __________"

 I replied:
"Thank you.  The mediation was the most stressful thing I've ever experienced but I am proud of both of us for getting through it."      .....Wow....

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Taste of India

It's nearly midnight after an extremely busy day and I don't have the time or energy to be creative with today's pic-a-day-in-May.   Surely everyone has seen enough of my ass to last a lifetime!   However, this pic shows the kitchen of my new home.  It looks rather nice, I think.

In the day after our mediation, I haven't heard a word from my wife; no phone calls, e-mails or texts.  In this case, no news is good news.  If she had something to complain about or was going to renege on one of our agreements, I would have heard about it by now!

On Sunday afternoon, I had a most amazing hookup with a sexy 36 year old computer engineer.  He had was a recent immigrant from India and lived in a major city 1,000 miles away with his wife and kids.  He`s in my town on a five-month assignment for his company.

I will blog about the details later, but I'd say he was the most handsome man (for except my special guy) who I ever hooked up with.  Gorgeous!  Expressive brown eyes, perfect dazzling white teeth, amazing fat cock, medium brown skin which felt like satin....  In the meantime, here are some pics of some hot Indian men to drool over.  The first pic closely resembles my Indian hottie;  I find Indian men extremely attractive.

Monday, May 28, 2012


Today, we left our two-hour mediation session with an agreement reached on every aspect of our separation / divorce.  It was  unbelievably stressful but our lawyer-mediator saw us through it. 

I left with the most profound respect and gratitude to our mediator;  a soft-spoken woman who was incredibly skilled in diffusing the raw emotions of the moment.  The lawyer was a master at explaining to my wife why her some of her outrageous demands were unreasonable or legally impossible.  She followed this with long silences while my wife digested the information and then backed down.

To be fair, my wife did make significant concessions throughout the process.  Our year of difficult discussions regarding our settlement helped pave the way to such a speedy agreement.  My wife behaved fairly well and only threw my gayness into my face once during the whole two hours.  As we neared the end of the session, the atmosphere became increasingly tense and both my wife and I were facing opposite walls in our swivel chairs.

In the end, my wife tried one final kick at the cat, refusing to pay her share of the lawyer's fee, saying, "Why should I pay anything?  .... our marriage breakdown is all your fault!!"   The lawyer looked at her impassively while I said two things to my wife:
  1. One of our earliest breakthroughs two years ago was when we agreed that we each shared 50% of the responsibility for our failed marriage.
  2. We've just come through years of difficulty, we've dealt with several million dollars worth of pension assets, spousal support, real estate and dividing up a lifetime worth of "stuff."   Do you really want to jeopardize the whole deal over $400?  Do you want this to drag out forever?  So, she agreed to pay her share of the fee.
What's next? The mediator will draft the divorce agreement and call us in for one more meeting. If we sign off on it and if my wife doesn't throw up any more roadblocks, we may or may not choose to have our own lawyers look at it. After that, we will jointly file for an uncontested, no fault divorce.  I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Now here are more sexy men in boots from

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Slippery when wet

I've temporarily misplaced my self-timer camera so I made do with my cell phone for today's pic-a-day-in-May.   I'm in the bath tub, lit by a candle.

I don't remember if I mentioned this, but my wife and son had been arguing constantly for some months now.  My sympathies were with him as my wife just pisses people off all the time.  Of course, she assumes no responsibility for their conflict, even when I remind her that she's the adult in the situation.

After a screaming fight, my son moved out "permanently" and has been living with me for the past couple of weeks.   It's been great having him here and I think I serve as a excellent role model.  We are completely conflict-free and work together constantly on various projects involving carpentry, electrical wiring and welding.... his passions.  However, having a kid here all the time has seriously affected by ability to host..... 

My wife and I are having our divorce mediation tomorrow which is required of all couples in my province.  The goal is to produce our final divorce agreement.  Although we have divided up virtually everything and are in general agreement about everything else, I am extremely tense about it.

Her erratic behaviour seems to be getting worse and she is constantly forgetting items we already agreed upon (typed out by her!), reneging on agreements which we thought were settled and throwing up road blocks every step of the way.  If anything, her hatred and bitterness towards me have worsened.  Wish me luck!

How about some hot guys in the tub to help forget my troubles?  All pics from

Friday, May 25, 2012

TMI Thursday

I was wearing underwear for my first shots of this  Pic-a-day-in-May , but I much preferred this bare-assed version, taken in the ground-floor master bedroom. 

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy originated this meme and my friend Cubby of Patently Queer completed it as well, so now it's my turn.

Would you rather…
…be intimate with the lights on or off?
I am confident enough to be naked with another guy in broad daylight, but I very much prefer candlelight.  So sexy and romantic!  I usually light several candles to get that perfect glow of light reflecting off our skin.

…get a perfect night’s sleep or have amazing sex?
Amazing sex!  I sleep really well all the time, especially now that our separation / divorce process is nearly over.

…have a perfect body but smallish sex organs or big sex organs but an out of shape body?
I'd take the big sex organs, but not too big.  Actually, I am perfectly happy with my cock size but I wish I was a 'shower' than the 'grower' that I am.  If I had the out of shape body, I'd be able to get back in shape pretty quickly... I'm pretty disciplined!

…your significant other be a terrible kisser who could always make you orgasm or an amazing kisser who could never make you orgasm?
I'd take the great orgasms and hope that I could train him to be a better kisser.  I don't know if that is possible.

…spend the rest of your life without a significant other, or would you rather have a partner who is extremely difficult?
During my 21 year marriage, I lived with an extremely difficult person (my wife, of course) for about the last 16 years of it.  I'd rather be alone forever;  I will NEVER subject myself to living with a difficult person, ever again.  Believe me, that is no way to live your life.

Bonus Question:
Would you rather have the power to be invisible or the power to read minds?
I rarely want to know what other people are thinking, especially of me.  This is doubly true  if the other person is stupid, bigoted or racist.   But if I was invisible, I'd be able to watch hot guys having sex anytime I wanted.  Woot!  The pics below are from

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Lard Arse

Here's another pic-a-day-in-May submission.

I need to haul my lard arse out of bed ASAP so my son and I aren't late for school / work.  I'm in this incredibly comfortable bed with my little dog and wishing it was my special guy.

In recent weeks, I've noticed a huge increase in the number of young 20ish men with new profiles on POF, likely university students home for the summer break.  I never message the young 'uns;  I wait for them to message me and lots of them have.

There are a great many of them who seem eager to arrange a hookup with an old fart like me.  I love the aggression of these young gay men, their confidence and how they seem so comfortable in their gayness.  They are just so "out there", with full face pics on their profiles and using the new technologies to seek pleasurable, NSA encounters.

It  broke my heart to had to turn down a sexy 21-year old late last night who was horny as hell and wanted to be with me so badly.... my reasons  (1)  11:00 pm is past my bedtime  (2)  There was a wicked thunder storm with sheets of rain and much wind going on, (3) I would have had to drive 25 minutes one way to pick him up and (3) my son was with me, but sleeping in another building on the property.   These young 'uns don't usually have a car and they can rarely host.

My special guy and I often discuss how our lives would have been different had we been emerging gay men in our 20s right now, rather than in the late 70s or early 80s when were were actually that age.   Who knows what our lives would have looked like?    I tell him that we most likely would not have had seven children between us (four for him, three for me) and grandchildren.  We can't change history!   

Note:  My special guy became a grandfather for the second time last night, so he phoned me early with the exciting news.  Sweet!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Kid in a gay candy shop

There were several wise and experienced comments on my last post which deserve further discussion.

Hooking up:  Several commenters suggested I slow down a bit.   It's all very time-consuming;  numerous daily phone calls / texts/ e-mails with my special guy and many hours on sites such as attempting to arrange hookups.

After living a sexless existence for the past 15 years, I am finding my new sex life exhilarating.   I'm like the kid in a candy shop wanting to sample everything which is being thrown at me. 

Discovering that so many men of all ages find me sexually desirable is intoxicating.  For the first time in my life,  I realize that I have "it."   Whatever "it" is .... the whole masculine package of vitality, sexual desirability and skill.   I've discovered a newfound power in my sexual attractiveness;  the power to say "No" to some less-desirable guy who wants to have sex with me.

Just the possibility that a 20 or 30-something hottie wants to have sex with me is addictive.  Right now, I cannot say say "No" to one of these young men, except for the few who are obviously unsavory or messed up.   I am in my full blown 'slut phase' and have no regrets or feelings  of guilt. 

But Will offered this sensible and delightful advice:   

"The boys will always be out there. Not the same ones but the joy of it is that they are an ever-renewing resource.  Like the perennials they are, they pop up every spring and will always be there waiting for you." 

Hmmm.... maybe I should slow down a bit .....

My job:    I've earned the respect, admiration even, of my colleagues on how I've conducted myself  at work in the face of some extremely stressful times.  I work for a powerful public sector union, so I won't be fired any time soon.  I have fulfilled all my contractual obligations so the meeting with my boss wasn't  disciplinary.

However, we normally find it necessary to work far harder and more proactively than the minimum to ward off complaints from the highly dysfunctional families we deal with.   In recent months, I just haven't been proactive enough in anticipating issues and I allowed some of these to fester and worsen.  Right now, I'm working very hard to stay on top of everything at work.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Here is a quick submission for the pic-a-day-for-May blogger challenge as I get ready for work.  After a three-day weekend, it's  back to work and I'm not looking forward to it.  Normally, I love my job but I've been off my game in recent months which resulted in me being "spoken to" by the boss late last week.

He was very supportive but in the end, the job must get done and if I can't cope with it all, then a paid  stress leave is available from my employer.  The problem is, I don't know if I get things back on track that quickly.   This situation is causing me more angst right now than the divorce, even with the prospect of our mediation session which is happening next week.

My stressors and distractions have included my the divorce drama , selling the house, moving tons of stuff, unpacking, having the kids living with me more and the demands of parenting.  Quite a bit of my time has been spent in an extremely pleasant manner, with my special guy "in the flesh", or texting, messaging or on the telephone.  As well, I am still on the hookup sites a great deal, such as bear411 and POF, "on the hunt" for that elusive 20-something guy.

It's all just too much.

Today's pics come from .   I think there's nothing sexier than a guy in boots... including myself.  I'm feel my sexiest when I'm wearing them.  The higher heel forces you to tuck your butt in and thrust your pelvis out and changes your walk to a sort of a swagger.   Sexy!

Monday, May 21, 2012


This pic-of-the-day-for-May was suggested by "Anonymous" in a comment on my last post.   Frankly, I thought my undies wedged into my flabby, dimpled ass was not a flattering look for me.  It took many attempts before I had an acceptable picture to post.   As a bonus, I've posted a front view shot as well.

It's been a blissful long weekend here at my new home on the water, with all three kids and three dogs with me.  Today is the Victoria Day holiday in much of Canada.  I don't see the kids all the time on weekends as they will often borrow my car for a run into town to shop or visit with friends. But is very sweet having them all here... I  think they regard this place as their true home and have a true sense of ownership in it. 

My wife has never figured out that her "brick wall" style of parenting is off-putting to the kids.   It's just getting worse as they approach adulthood.  "This is my home... I will do it the way I want..."   Someone who is has to be right all the time and has to have her own way all the time will end up alone.

As luck would have it, I've had a sudden upsurge in interesting messages on from about six different guys, ranging in age from 22 to 42.   Unfortunately, the logistics of arranging a hookup has become increasingly difficult.

Complications include having one or more of the kids here most of the time, being about 12 miles out of town and sometimes without a car.   Generally, the 20-something guys cannot host and I'm not interested in hooking up with the married, closeted guys .....but I will figure out a way to make it work!

The last two pics are from

Sunday, May 20, 2012


I need someone to wash my back.  Any volunteers?
Here are two pics I took for the blogger challenge,  a pic-a-day-in-May. 

In the gay world, the word "sauna" or "bathhouse" usually refers to a sort of a gay meeting place, sex club but not a brothel.   In the past, the gay bathhouses offered a safer alternative to public sex when having gay sex was illegal.

In my journey, I think I've been quite brave in testing out new gay experiences, but so far, I haven't had a strong desire to visit a gay bathhouse such as Steamworks.   I'm still considering it but so far, I've preferred to have even a slight emotional connection with the guy I'm with.  I understand the scene at the bathhouses is strictly anonymous.
For people of Scandinavian descent (like me), "sauna" has no sexual connotation at all.  They regard it as almost a sacred place. 

I am extremely lucky to have an authentic sauna located right on the water at my new home.  The sauna is not just used to wash yourself;  it is a place for relaxation, both physical and mental, with friends and family.  In my grandparents' generation, almost all mothers in The Old Country gave birth in saunas.

Here in the Great White North, the water exists in two conditions:  frozen with ice all winter and freezing cold the rest of the time, even in summer.  We consider it essential to warm up thoroughly in the sauna before going for a swim in the frigid water.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Half-nekkid men and their dogs

I'm finding this pic-a-day-in-May blogger challenge a bit of a... er... challenge. The problem is I want to post interesting or exciting pics but I don't always have the time or imagination for that.

As usual, my fallback is to post half-nekkid pictures of myself.  Suggestions such as this one from "Anonymous" just encourage me to follow my natural inclination in this regard. Keep the picture ideas coming!  

"Just you taking a hot nap on your couch with your ass in the air and boxers on the floor beside you (giving an illusion that you just had a hot night.)"

I particularly like this pic because my little dog joined me on the couch, perfect for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.    Two blogger challenges in one photo!  Whoot!!

One of the most surprising developments since coming out as a gay man is the discovery that I just love having sexy pictures of myself!   Although I enjoy the positive comments, I am really doing it for myself.  I think for the first time in my life, I'm feeling sexually confident in myself and in my skills between the sheets. (which are still developing)   Now, I look at nearly every man and think, "I could drive you wild, boy..."

The only problem is that taking self-timer pics is the lamest thing ever.  There's a element of ridiculouslessness about the whole thing;  setting the self-timer then having ten seconds to leap into position, hoping the pose and lighting will accidentally work out.  I've said this numerous time before, but I'd like to experience a sexy photo shoot done by a professional photographer, preferably hot and gay, who is experienced in taking sexy pics of men.

All pics from

Friday, May 18, 2012

In a Lather

Wow! The "raging controversy" on my last post's comments sure generated a lot of page views! All all-time record! I don't plan on responding further, other than to say that excellent points were made on all sides.

On my previous post, Showering with my Guy ,  "Anonymous" offered this suggestion:  "It would be great and extremely sexy if you bend your ass sticking out, Buddy Bear."   For today's pic-a-day-in-May, here I am washing my hair over the sink in my messy laundry room. 

Note:  I much preferred the second pic, but I not yet prepared to display my privates, hanging there for all the world to see.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

International Day against Homophobia

Pride flag at my kids' school.
 Today is International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia, celebrated in 90+ countries.  There are numerous "anti-gay bullying" days in the world so I sometimes get them confused.

My kids' school is flying the Pride flag for the entire week along with the Canadian flag.   The students in the school's GSA have been working hard all week with daily announcements and events.  The GSA kids are just so committed to the GLBTQ cause, so self-confident and knowledgeable!  It gives me hope for the future!

The Pride flag is flying this week at every high school in our school district.  Our town is a smallish city, very remote and mainly blue-collar, yet the regular appearance of Pride flags does not (as far as I know) raise any eyebrows or generate any complaints.   Can anyone even imagine a Pride flag flying outside an American high school?   What about those other countries where LGBTQ folks are killed for being who they are?

I'm very proud of being Canadian.   We're so lucky here!

It is also "dress in pink" day at the school.  These guys would have fit right in.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Showering with my guy

In my nearly 50 years, I've never showered with another person.  Now, my special guy and I shower together regularly as foreplay. 

It's just so insanely hot,  lathering each other up, kissing, and running our hands all over each others' bodies and cocks.   Ultimately, though, I think it's our emotional connection which makes it special.   It wouldn't be the same showering with just anyone.

He couldn't sleep over last night so the pic-a-day-for-May is of me alone in the shower.  But the rest of the pics look like us.... er...  except for our thicker waistlines and less defined muscles. 

All pics from


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