Thursday, May 10, 2012

Full Frontal

Full frontal, but not of me. Sorry about that!  All pics from

*This post is part of a blogger challenge started over at Jim’s Stuff. Check out his blog, as well as the following Bloggers who have joined

I'd like to welcome a new addition to the challenge, Mike of Random Thoughts in my Life:
This business of separating real estate, bank accounts, insurance policies, car ownerships and the like is complicated, time-consuming and requires a high degree of cooperation. I can't imagine getting through this if the couple was in any way adversarial.... no wonder divorce lawyers make so much money!  So far, ours is mainly a do-it-yourself affair with both of highly committed to keeping our costs down.

My wife and I had another face-to-face encounter yesterday at the licensing office to transfer ownership of our jointly-owned cars to single.  Our insurers required this for our new policies.

It was pretty tense as my wife was again angry, exhausted, and seemed confused about some recent conversations.  She refused to meet my eye but the licensing office lady (bless her) got us through the ordeal with her perceptiveness and efficiency.

But there might have been other issues at play.  My wife's leg / knee problems were making it hard for her to walk.  These problems are caused by (in my opinion) a big weight gain and her refusal to seek medical help, but of course, she prefers to blame it all on me.  "It's from the stress of having a gay husband!!"    And, as my middle daughter texted me later, my wife and my son had been screaming at each other all day.  Fun times!


  1. Just tell her that "gay" means "happy" and she should smile more.

    What? You don't think that would work????

    Aww, I'm sorry Buddy for making light of your difficult time. I fear your wife is going to blame you and your sexuality for every bad thing in her life from here on out. Kind of like I blame George Bush for all the bad things in my life, but in my case I'm correct.

    What can be done to turn your wife's "blame Buddy" mindset? It's a long-term problem that is going to require a long-term solution. I doubt if you are the first to plow that field. You just have to find the others who went before you and learn what worked for them.

  2. Thanks for your concern, Cubby! My solution to her tendency to blame me for everything is to just have as little to do with her as possible.

    I'd never speak to her or see her if I had my way. As the kids become more and more self-sufficient, this will become easier and easier to do. And we do have our cooperative moments; today, we had a long and thoughtful conversation about a serious situation facing one of our kids. As co-parents, we're doing a fantastic job!

  3. "It's from the stress of having a gay husband!!"

    Ah yes, everything is somebody else's fault, but nothing - like prudent self care - is ever my responsibility.

    But, as soon as your divorce is final, she will immediately lose 185# +/- (you're lean ;-) ) and her ability to use this story. What will the new excue be?

  4. I use to cover - up too...My Mother couldn't handle my nudity....As time went on.... Today I love being a totally naked male nudist....


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