It's early morning and I should be hauling my sorry ass out of bed and waking my son up so we're not late for school. Instead I'm cuddled here with our dogs, sobbing like some foolish schoolgirl.
One month ago, our 'desktop divorce' was granted. The judge signed the decree in his office without any lawyers present rather than in open court. After a 30 day waiting period, our final divorce certificate became final yesterday.
I thought of the incredible gay journey which I've been on:
- 45 years spent living in the deepest denial about being gay
- being miserable in a loveless, sexless marriage .... at least for the last 10 years of it.
- that horrible moment when my wife discovered gay porn on my laptop, 3.5 years ago, which I've never blogged about.
- coming out to my kids and parents
- having suicidal thoughts (brief ones, which I've never blogged about.)
- receiving incredible support from everyone including my ex-mother-in-law
- losing my gay virginity
- enduring years and years of hatred, bitterness and frankly, crazy behaviour from my wife
- coping with health problems; a serious spinal problem and an on-going prostate cancer scare
- negotiating our divorce settlement
- having sweet encounters with dozens and dozens of fantastic men.
- steadily increasing my sexual skills and self-confidence as a lover of men.
I'd like to thank everyone for reading this blog and for the hundreds of supportive comments and e-mails. It would have been a desperately lonely, frightening journey without you.
Of course, I cannot post without at least one picture of a sexy guy. The Handsome Blowjob Guy is coming over again tonight and I'm looking forward to it enormously. And yes, he looks EXACTLY like this guy (but with less defined abs.) As well, he's smart, charismatic, very nice and deeply appreciative of my skills. Sweet!!