Sunday, April 28, 2013

Overweight men

Our camping trip with 28 students was fantastic!  Perfect weather, great kids and no incidents involving bad behaviour, at least, not that we're aware of.

One funny moment came when my fuck buddy, Mr. Handsome, arrived to pick up his son.  He looked more gorgeous than ever in mirrored aviator sunglasses.  We shook hands and pretended to introduce ourselves in full view of the assembled students, his son, teachers and some parents. 

So far, Mr. Handsome is the only man who has all the qualities I'd want in a partner.  He's intelligent, funny, sexually adventurous / aggressive, finacially well-off, extremely handsome, my age (he's 48), available  (divorced four years ago) and has a strong connection with his family.    He has a nice-enough body with a beautiful, furry torso.

He's presently in the closet (a concern!) and the last time we're together, I had to leave abruptly when a relative phoned to say that she was dropping by.  In frustration, he said, "I'm so tired of sneaking around!"   Well, the solution to that is pretty obvious, isn't it? 

He hasn't come out yet because: "I don't want to give my ex any more ammunition to attack me with."   This is the 44-year old ex-wife who dumped him for her married, 70-year old former professor?   But Mr. Handsome will have to find a path which is comfortable for him.

It will sound horrible when I admit that I cannot conceive of being in a relationship with him.   Would I want to take on someone with a progressive, neurological condition like Parkinsons'?   As Michael J. Fox said: "It's the gift that keeps on taking."   I know it sounds shallow of me to say this, but there it is.  Maybe it's just a fear of the unknown.


But I am in no way ready for an exclusive LTR with anyone.  I just haven't gotten over the excitement of hooking up with all those those lovely young men.   And if these normal, fun-loving, healthy, handsome young men are pestering me for sex why shouldn't I say yes?  And, by the way, I've met plenty of fantstic men in their 30s and 40s too. 

In the past month, I've been messaged numerous times by a handsome  young man with fiery red hair (let's call him "Big Red") and brilliant blue eyes who wants to have some sexytime with me.   We've been chatting both on and squirt. org.   A few notable points about Big Red.:

(1)  He's a 'big boy', over 250 pounds but that is not a deal breaker for me in a young man.  Again, this sounds inconsistent, but I find older, obsese men unattractive but I don't mind being with an overweight younger man.  And yes, I know that I am an older man myself and am steadily getting heavier as the years progress.

In my last post, a commenter took me for task for describing "fat guys" in a derogatory way and I'm sure he's right.   I hardly knew how to respond to that but I will try to describe heavier guys in more clinical terms in the future.

Maybe it's just the novelty of being with a young man which is the over-riding appeal for me.  As well, I think that overweight young men are not quite as ... er.... saggy.... as overweight older men.  They carry their weight in a way which is more attractive to me.  In fact, lying on top of a naked overweight  young man feels fantastic, rather like lying on a wonderful, warm waterbed. 

(2)  Big Red is looking for a sexual partner who is willing to take sexy pictures of him.   Wow!  That would be so hot! ... and I could get him to take pictures of me!   I'm so tired of taking self-pics with the self-timer on my camera.


  1. some yummy looking men in this post, buddybear; def DILFs!

  2. To be perfectly honest, it's tough sometimes for us overweight guys (no matter how hard we're working on that) to know we're pretty much unattractive to others. It's part of why I am not "out there" on the Grindr/squirt/bear411 circuit. I can't imagine anyone finding me attractive enough to have sex with. While your descriptions and personal desires don't offend me in any way, it's still a stark reality that the weight I gained is a huge impediment to finding a partner.

    Peace <3

    1. Yes, the truth is that the majority of guys on the conventional gay hookup sites are looking for a big-cocked man who is as fit as possible. Another factor working against us 50-something guys is that most are looking for younger.

      On the other hand, I have been turned down a couple of times because I was "too skinny! LOL!

      I strongly suggest that larger guys find a site which specializes in their body type such as There are other similar sites out there but sadly, recently shut down. I predict that you will be very surprised at how much demand there is for larger guys.

      On a personal note, I have been finding that I am not sufficiently aroused (physically) when I'm with an older, heavier man which leads to an awkward situation for all concerned. So I generally prefer to hook up with guys like me who are at an average level of fitness.

  3. I've seen many a case of men being rejected for being obese; and bears rejecting others for being too thin. No matter who we are, we all still struggle with us vs. them, alas.

  4. The comment about your on-going relationship with Mr. Handsome because of his Parkinson's made me stop. I had a guy run for the hills when he found out about my M.D. He said, "That scares the hell out of me!" Why? It isn't contagious, he wouldn't break my body. Yet while he was trying to woo me into hook-ups he found 10 ways from Sunday to get me to overlook his HIV+ status. LOL.

    I hope you don't allow his Parkinson's stop you from hooking up with him on a regular basis. Orgasms actually help soothe my M.D. - it might be the same for his Parkinson's. Just think - you might be helping him ward off the progression!

    1. We are hooking up on a regular basis and I hope to continue this. It's not the Parkinsons' itself which scares me. My concern is that we will start to fall for each other.

      IF we were to become more serious I'm not sure that I'd want to commit to looking after relatively young spouse in declining health, with a progressive debilitating condition. I've spent twenty years raising my kids and have elderly parents who will need care soon .... I don't think I can take on any more caregiving right now, should it be needed.


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