Wednesday, January 4, 2012
My brother (52) has had a rough go of it since his prostate cancer surgery last month. He's been back to the hospital three times with bleeding and a post-operative infection. He now seems to be doing better, finally.
It is too early to tell if he will still have the ability to get an erection or have orgasms. We would never discuss such things but I probably would be able to find out from our father.
Fourteen years ago, our father also had prostate cancer which was treated successfully Both of these events place me in the "high risk" category.
After much parental nagging, I had my first-ever PSA test recently (I'm 49). Yesterday evening, my doctor phoned with the news that my PSA result was 6.9. At this point, I kind of tuned out of what she was saying. It went something like this; anything above 4.0 warrants further investigation, so she wants to me take the PSA test again....blah, blah, blah..... also wants to test for "free PSA versus bound PSA" blah, blah, blah .... must phone to book an appointment for a digital exam.... blah, blah, blah.... will consider a scan test of some kind......blah blah.
I know that the PSA tests are quite variable and not the greatest predictor of prostate cancer. However, I've had various worrisome signs and symptoms over the past several months. I just attributed these to being a middle-aged man but now, I'm not so sure. I just have a really bad feeling about this.
I've already had my life-threatening bout with cancer 29 years ago and have been dealing with the after-effects ever since. Been there, done that... many biopsies, numerous major surgeries, countless diagnostic tests, several recurrences, radiation and chemotherapy treatments, +100 appointments in cancer clinics. Believe me, the worst part is that I know the drill all too well!
Just the thought of heading down that route again is tremendously discouraging.
How many more challenges must I deal with? I didn't sleep at all last night and now am having difficulty hauling my sorry ass out of bed. Somehow, taking a few nekkid self-pics and writing this post cheered me up a bit. (Is that fucked up or what?) Thanks for the distraction, my dear online friends! My daughter is coming over to go skiing with me and both my daughter and son will be here for several days. I need to get my ass in gear ASAP.
One positive note: the possibility of having prostate cancer has strengthened my resolve to get my ads posted on a few online gay hookup sites ASAP ..... I better start having regular sex with men while I still can.
at 4:28 PM