Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Learning Curve (NSFW)


All pics from http://oneblowjobaday.tumblr.com/

It's been the most momentous week so far in my gay journey.   The enormity of it all has been just overwhelming and I need time to process it all.  In the meantime, here a few random thoughts and impressions.

  • I am shocked at the number of married, closeted men who are actively seeking M2M sex.  It's like a hidden sub-culture which I never knew existed in our small community.  The vast majority of men who wanted to hook up with me fell into this category... however, it may have been related to my age, the wording of my online profile and my ass pics.
  • I still cannot understand why so many young men (late 20s) seem to be seeking sex with men like me who are decades older.  I have no interest at all in having sex with a 70-year-old.  (no offense to those great guys!)   Many of these young men selected "Men Seeking Women" on their pof.com profile yet express to me a desire to "experiment" with a man.
  • I'd forgotten what was like to have a intimate partner, to hold close, kiss and whisper to for hours on end.   It was what I was craving the most for the past ten years or more and didn't even know it.
  • The whole business of the giving and receiving of ass play, rimming and being a top has been the hardest thing for this former "straight" guy to get my head around.   I need to get comfortable with the sexual possibilities down there and forget its primary function as a poop chute.
  • With much help from a patient and understanding intimate partner, we've been preparing for me to bottom.   While I know that there is much pleasure to be had in doing this, so far, I don't see it ... "discomfort" is the operative word.  I had a sudden wave of nostalgia for some uncomplicated heterosexual vaginal sex!
  • Despite much passion and amazing physicality, it has been far from smooth sailing in the bedroom.   The whole issue of "to cum or not to cum" will be dealt with in my next post.

13 comments:

  1. Oh Buddy, you slay me! I love taking this scary new journey along with you. And to think, when I woke up this morning I thought I might not see the term "poop chute" all day, and then I read your blog.

    Hahahaaa.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Buddy I hope you will finally get acustomed with bottoming as I'm looking forward to read ur bottoming experience in this blog and surely it will be useful to me..

    Who is this parter of yours Buddy?I reckon you feel weird gushing intimate details about some guy your trying to connect...If so I respect your decision...and if you did lose your anal viginity or have a boyfriend,do blog about it if your comfortable...All the best to you Buddy!!!-James

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  3. My sweet dear Buddy Bear, I think you might be interested in this magnificient reading: Bottoming 101 - a full guide to being a full-filled bottom!

    Everything you wanted to know but didn't know whom to ask!!! Maybe you already know this blog, but just in case...
    Enjoy!
    Hugs
    Jon

    ReplyDelete
  4. Life would be fine if we all 69...

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    Replies
    1. anne marie in phillyJanuary 18, 2012 at 4:06 PM

      you WOULD have to bring up a monty python reference!

      Delete
  5. I look forward intently to your next few posts. Your words make me recall my entry into the whole scene of on-line dating and arranging sex that I began 16 months ago, using Adam4adam. Yes, there are indeed a lot of married men on the down low looking for sex on the side - and what they want is a wide variety of things. And yes, so many younger (under 30) men seem to be looking for an older guy - as long as he is fit and sexy, this generation is either more open minded to the possibilities, or just feeling freer to admit they have an erotic image of an uncle or teacher or coach or other adult they admired as a teen making great love to them and "initiating" them into sex. An article in the New York Times a year ago also noted in the gay community, there are so many more bottoms looking for tops, including former "tops" who want to stop being the controlling one and just want another guy to take charge - plus they have discovered the power of the prostate.

    You are a newbie and will feel for a while like a sexed up teenager plunging into a swimming pool of naked writing men. Experimentation to find out what really gives you pleasure is part of this new period of sexual play. Hopefully you will, like I did, quickly find out that you really want to find one great guy to do that experimenting with, instead of needing countless new hookups. Promiscuity has lots of risks, and the one we all seem to have to learn on our own is, sex with a string of strangers ultimately leads for most men to a sense of hollowness and may make you jaded about sex itself.

    I found out that I was just not one of those guys who finds the hunt and chase and thrill of sex with a stranger early on - we have to go through some of this to find one steady partner I suppose, and I wish you lots of fun but also an early discovery of one man with whom you can settle into deep passion and mutual sexual evolution!!!

    I follow your blog regularly and wanted to add how much I like your story and following your path of travel despite our age differences and sexual discovery stages. Carry on!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1) define the experience for yourself.
    2) you don't have to do anything that you are not comfortable with ( or ready)
    3) not all gay men are into ass play, so don't assume that
    4) if you are going to rim then get vaccinated for Hep B
    5) the shit house is next to the snackbar so don't go near either if your partner has poor hygiene

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jack: I'm glad my comment made your day!

    James: I think I can still comment on my feelings about it, without talking too much about the other person or the relationship.

    Jon: what an excellent resource! Thank you!!

    Cubby and anne marie: I thought you meant "poop chute" which is also a Monty Python reference.

    JaysonStreet: thank you for sharing your valuable experience. That's the wisest advice I've received in a long time. Thanks for following my blog! Very cool!!

    Don: thank you for your great advice! At my age and level of self-confidence, believe me, I would NEVER do anything I didn't want to do. I do want to give bottoming and ass play a good try ... some aspects I might like, some I might not. #4: I've been vaccinated but I must check if / when it expires. #5: excellent advice! Luckily, my friend is meticulously groomed... no worries there!

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  8. Hi Buddy, Well, I CAN comment if I use my desktop? That is strange. Your vaccination should be good, I believe it is life long. Please have fun and be careful. WE are all depending on you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Enjoy the explorations with your friend. It's a great opportunity. I remember my first repeat gay guy I had sex with and I learned so much from him - he gave the best handjob ever as part of his routine.

    And as for bottoming, don't rush into it given all the issues you have. You should try topping first. So far I have only bottomed for 3 guys all of whom I have been with several times and had topped previously.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Recently came across your blog and I've added you to my roll (I'm already on yours).
    Just wondering why my blog doesn't update on your blog roll. I post every weekday!

    Keep up the good work!
    http://bilikeme2.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. People forget that when they first had sex of any type it was a frightful mess and usually a bungle as well. So don't be surprised or disappointed if your first 'bottoming' is painful or not something you take to right away.
    It is sort of like red wine - first glass seems odd but later it is preferred to white.

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  12. I've had sex with guys more than twice my age, 18, and for me it's that young guys aren't sure what they want, or mostly interested in themselves, I've yet to fuck someone that is younger than 20, but I'm making it my goal before I get there!

    23-40 are best for me, not to say I haven't been out of that range, but few of those experiences were amazing for me personally. I probably have daddy issues but w/e

    ReplyDelete

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