Saturday, January 14, 2012

Two coffee dates

All pics from wooflicious.tumblr.com/ .

My first coffee date last week was with a guy who's bear411 profile said he was as a 60 year old Italian, 6'-0", 225 pounds.  We chatted for a couple of hours;  he was very persistent and complimentary about the way I expressed myself, my intelligence and my ass pics.

I had fun playing 'hard to get.'   On the second day, after much circling around and hinting, he finally proposed a coffee date and if that went well, a hookup at his house.  His picture was attractive enough, although he was pretty big ... I'd be squashed like a bug!

At the donut shop (his choice .... a bit tacky), I didn't recognize the older man who approached me ...... he was considerably shorter and older-looking than his profile suggested.   The pic must been from a very long time ago or it might have even been of someone else.  Why do gay guys think  that being dishonest is a good start to an encounter?

Still, we had a highly enjoyable conversation as we had many interests and acquaintances in common.   It was great to talk face-to-face to a older gay guy about his life .... a first for me.   I wasn't particularly attracted to him but I thought that he was "do-able" and he was sure to know his way around a man's body.   My main concern was his bad breath wafting at me from across the table.   I figured my cock wouldn't mind a bit of bad breath especially if he was really good at sucking it.

After an hour, I said, "So, what now?"  He said that we would not be going to his house.  "You're not "bear-ish" enough.  I thought from your pictures that you'd be more muscular."  WTF??  I was worried about being too chunky and here is someone who thought I was too skinny!  Also, I had posted several nearly-naked, recent pictures of myself ... how could he not have known that what I looked like? 

He was very nice about the rejection.  He leaned across the table and whispered, "When I was younger, I used to wank off to pictures of John Goodman!!  We both laughed at that... too funny!  He added that he found me a very intelligent, personable and that I could carry on a conversation well.

He said that at his age, he was no longer interested in hooking up with guys that he wasn't attracted to.   I did appreciate that bit of honesty and we parted company.  Chatting with a couple of local guys later, I found out that he tries to hook up with every new guy who appears on the online sites at least once and then moves on ... it's sort of a game with him.

Coffee date #2 leads me to a dilemma.   Blogging about casual hookups is fine, I think, but I've always disliked the habit of many bloggers who provide intimate details of a budding, serious relationship.  I think it is disloyal and even dishonest to the guy you are seeing to have a third party (ie:  all the blog readers) participating in the relationship.   This just get worse later when the blogger starts talking about his complaints and relationship problems with the online world when he should actually be discussing them with his partner.

I'll say this:  the two hours we spent together flew by and were remarkable for the honesty, understanding, mutual admiration, sharing of common experiences and lust.  It just felt very special, I think for both of us.  


9 comments:

  1. Thanks for the update buddy bear! I was sooo curious. And, although the curiosity is killing me (us) I respect your decision to keep this personal part of your experience out of your blog. I'm just glad you made a connection!

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  2. anne marie in phillyJanuary 14, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    "Why do gay guys think that being dishonest is a good start to an encounter?" - got news for ya: str8 guys do that too! WRONG on all levels!

    "...he tries to hook up with every new guy who appears on the online sites at least once and then moves on..." - ooooooh, a PLAYA! move along, buddybear, nothing to see here.

    "...I've always disliked the habit of many bloggers who provide intimate details of a budding, serious relationship. I think it is disloyal and even dishonest to the guy you are seeing to have a third party (ie: all the blog readers) participating in the relationship." - TRUE! both you and the other person will win with this attitude!

    good luck, buddybear; stay safe, tread carefully, and have some wonderful adventures!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can't believe that one guy didn't want to take you home. Did you forget to slip the word "about" into your conversation with him? I know hearing that was enough to make my dick hard, that's for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm shameless, but my "about" trick only works on you damn Yankees. The 60-year-old was Canadian, remember, and wouldn't have noticed.

    And what do you mean, "Made your dick hard?".... I seem to recall that your dick was hard the entire time that I was in your presence. Don't you remember all the little kids pointing their fingers at you and running to their Mommies?

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  5. It is a little bit ironic that you were conflicted, but resigned about going to bed with him, and then he drops the same bomb onto you. I will say, though, that from what pics I've seen of you and from your writing, you can do better. You're a really great guy with a nice body. What more could a guy want? Don't lower your standards!

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  6. Glad that coffee date #2 appears to have been more satisfactory than the first. I applaud you for keeping a bit of mystery to the time spent and saving that for you and those few friends you feel comfortable opening up to.

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  7. Mack: the 60-year-old actually was very nice and also quite attractive; he just didn't match his profile information. I was very sure that he was exactly what I was looking for at that moment, an extremely experienced gay guy who could give me the a fantastic blowjob. It wouldn't have gone farther than that.

    BosGuy: Yes, Coffee Date #2 was fantastic! amazing!! exciting!!!

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  8. Alas, as a boring old married dude, I dig the intimate details of hookups ;)

    ReplyDelete
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