Sunday, June 30, 2013

Backing up my blog to WordPress

Last week, all Bloggers in the "Adult" category (gay or straight) received word that they will be shut down after June 30th if their blogs contained adult advertisements.  The blogger world is a-buzz with rumours about Blogger shutting down all Adult blogs or that your blog would be shut down if you even linked to a commercial blog.

In recent years, nearly four thousand gay blogger blogs have been shut down and the pace has accelerated in the past few weeks.  Read about it here: Google Blogger closes down gay blogs.

So .... I will continue to post at this Blogger address but have backed up my entire blog onto WordPress.  My blog has become far too important to me as a record of my incredible gay journey for the past 2 - 1/2 years.  I cannot lose it!

One day, if you try to access my site and receive a "This blog has been shut down due to violation of terms of service" notification, you will find me here:

 If you care about not losing your blog, I suggest you back it up to WordPress now.  It was very easy!  I followed this tutorial:
  1. Go to and sign up for a new blog.
  2. In the dashboard, click on TOOLS and then IMPORT
  3. Select the location of the blog which is to be imported;  in my case, I clicked on "Blogger"
  4. You will be prompted to sign into your Blogger account, select the blog and to click "Authorize"
  5. Click the IMPORT button and minutes later, my 451 posts and 4451 comments were saved.  Woo-hoo!!
  6. There are further tutorials to import your template and blogroll but those will have to wait.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Pride Parade and Picnic

School's out for summer!  Woo-hoo!! 

Due to my busy week, I didn't finish my Pride Week postings.  I've already told you about the Pride Breakfast, Pride Film Festival and The Drag-a-Palooza.

I had planned to watch our little Pride Parade (which happened a week ago) but had no intention of walking in it with the teachers' union.  But my son and I got busy fixing his truck and my time with him took priority.

I wasn't really concerned about outing myself by joining the parade;  I'm pretty out already!  I worried that it would be awkward and embarrassing with a few dozen queers walking through our nearly-empty, decaying downtown core.

But it turned out to be a celebratory affair with a couple  hundred participants with many more spectators.  The Pride Parade and picnic received extensive media coverage with the full front page of our local paper  and numerous spots on local TV and radio.  I later regretted not participating and I plan to join the parade next year. 

The main difference between our parade and a big city one like Toronto's Pride Parade was that there was much less skin showing.  There were hot guys a-plenty in rainbow gear and many, many lesbians, but certainly no hot guys in Speedos or glittery thongs.

The Pride Picnic was a family affair with a carnival feel to it;  performers, cotton candy, popcorn and a bouncy castle for the kids.  Again, every group which mattered was there including the high school GSA students (public high schools only), the major unions, businesses, vendors and local politicians.

I chatted briefly with our handsome, straight Mayor and ogled a gaggle of six handsome, young police officers in uniform.  I so wanted to go up to them to check out their bulges, biceps and asses up close chat but didn't quite get the courage up.  Unlike my first visit to the Pride Picnic two years ago, I chatted with a great many people I knew including fellow volunteers I met earlier in the week. 

I also volunteered as traffic warden, partnered with a straight, early 30s mother who was teacher at a Catholic high school.  She was there to show support to her LGBTQ students who face constant opposition from their Catholic school admin.

She mentioned possible job repercussions at her school because our names were published in the newspaper in the "Thank you Volunteers!" list.  She shrugged and said, "It's the right thing to do.  So what if get 'spoken to' by my principal?"  Wow!  Good for her!

During the hour, a cute younger teenaged boy (bright blue eyes, shoulder-length dyed black hair with coloured streaks) approached me:

Cute Boy: "Can I bring you anything to eat from the volunteer's table? A bottle of water?"
BB: "That's kind of you! .... no I'm fine."
Cute Boy: After hesitating and lingering around unnecessarily. "Are you Mr. _ _ _ _ _?"
BB:  "Yes!...  I guess you're a student at my school?"

I apologized for not recognizing him;  I don't notice the young boys at school and rarely teach grade nine, but we shook hands and chatted about his school year and his volunteer job at Pride.  I really admired his courage for making a contribution to Pride and told him so. I thought it was very brave of me to approach me at all, on the pretext of fetching me food and drink.

His manner was mildly flirtatious and I could sense his intensity and excitement at the just the idea that there was an out gay teacher at his school....  I could imagine him thinking,  "A teacher who's just like me, how cool is that!!"

The reactions of our LGBTQ students this week to my gayness has been extremely gratifying to me.  My coming out is no longer just about me but serves a more important purpose.  It's exciting to know that, as the only out teacher in a staff of 70 at my school, I could be a gay role model for our students, LGBTQ and straight ones alike.

Today's pictures are from Toronto Pride, one of the world's largest.   I couldn't afford to go this year but next here, I'll be there for sure!!!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

A shave and a haircut .... two bits

It's nearly midnight and I'm soooo tired.  I just got in from helping to supervise our school's grad....  in the USA, it would be called "The Prom."   A fun time was had by all, but we all worry that our students will be safe at the after-parties.

The last of my classes wrote their final exam this morning and the reports are due tomorrow morning, first thing!   I marked like a fiend all afternoon and I'm only about 2/3 done, so I'll need to get up at 5:30 a.m. to finish them off.

For just over a week, I've been driving my son to his summer job, some 50 km (30 mi) away and then I head another 20 km to my school;  reversed at the end of the day.   He will be getting his driver's license in two weeks but until then, that will be our routine.

But it's well worth it because he is working at a skilled trade (construction), his future career.   It's a rarity for a sixteen-year old to land a job that's not of the McJob variety.  It pays much better and provides real experience will lead to other opportunities in the trades.  And he loves the job!  He gets himself up at 6:30 a.m. for work and nags me if I'm a minute late in driving him. 

In other gay developments:

1.   Ethan, the transgendered dude, had to cancel our coffee date on Monday evening as he was still tied up with a client but reschedule for Thursday.  I'm not sure if I want to see him at all, actually. 

He's the owner of a contacting business and has people working for him.  Very impressive for a guy in his early 20s!  We've texted a great deal recently (too much, in fact, as I don't have time);  he's extremely chatty and tells me all about his father,  his two siblings, their dogs, his childhood and on and on. 

But he did tell me:  "I don't know any guys I can hang out with."  I think that's what he is hoping to find with me.

2.  Big Red and I have seen each other several times recently but in a non-sexual way.  Yesterday, he invited me out to lunch at a fast-food place so I picked him up from his workplace.  He's very funny, smart and emotionally mature.  But our meetings are bittersweet because I'm concerned that we are starting to really, really like each other...  for me, the deal-breaker is that I will soon be 51 and he's 24!

3.  I though I'd had my fill of hookups with married men..... they're too complicated to schedule and there's always the guilt of being the "Other Man."  But I'm wavering with this slim, late 40s (!) dude (his actual picture shown below) who has wanted to hook up for some time.  He's a shift worker so he's only available in mid-morning.... that works for me!  I love his thighs!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Groped at the Drag-a-Palooza

The transgendered young man, Ethan, has texted me numerous times with plenty of weekend chit-chat about dinner at his aunt's house, what he and his sister cooked for breakfast and a bonfire party for his cousin's b-day.   He seems to have strong family support! 

I still have no hint about the purpose of our coffee date tonight and am still rather concerned about it.  Ethan offered to buy the coffee and drive out to the country to a park just 2 km from my home.  "To spare you the driving," he said.  I did mention my age (50) and my kids' ages, referring to myself as an old fart and he responded:  "50 isn't old!"

My third local Pride event was the Drag-a-Palooza on Friday night.  A couple of hundred people attended; a much younger crowd than at the Pride Breakfast. 

It was SO MUCH FUN!  All the local drag queens lip-synched their songs but otherwise were fantastic!  Big hair, big make-up and big attitude.  What a hoot!   To my surprise, fully half of the performers were women in drag as men.

As I expected, half-a-dozen students from my school were there, mainly the GSA kids.  They were all SO EXCITED to see me there .... just a-quiver!!  We chatted briefly, with me wearing my Pride gear  (Mardi-Gras beads, plastic bracelet and Pride T-shirt) but didn't mention the pink elephant in the room, the fact that I was obviously their first and only out teacher.   This was an even bigger outing for me than the Pride Breakfast.

Another former student in his mid-20s, a masculine hottie who had been on the football team, came by several times to chat.  He just couldn't believe that I was there! .... and the feeling was mutual.  I'm sure that I contradict some people's stereotype of what a gay man should be:   fairly masculine, dishevelled, formerly married and the father of three children.

I saw numerous lumpy, middle-aged couples in attendance, decked out in Pride beads or pins.  A puzzle:  were these mixed-orientation marriages?  Which one was the gay spouse?  Then I realized they were straight parents attending the event with their queer teenaged son or daughter with other siblings in tow.  It was fantastic and heart-warming to know that those LGBTQ kids had such strong family support. 

I also saw a few groups of 16 - 17 year old boys.   After careful deduction and some eavesdropping I realized that they were straight boys attending in support of their gay friend in the group.  Again, wow!  Well done, boys!

I had the most fun of all volunteering for a couple of hours at the door, partnered with a cute gay university student:  checking for hand stamps on those re-entering and preventing anyone from taking liquor out to the street.

It was a chance to chat with everyone going in and out, friends and strangers alike,  and to be hugged and even groped by numerous hot, random, drunk guys.  Gay men are so funny! 

I briefly blogged about the awkward moment with a former student, Jamie.   He's 34, short and rotund, very feminine and the son of my former department head, now retired.  When he was my student in the late 90s, it was obvious that he was gay and that he had a crush on me.

After his initial conversation-stopper, "I had the biggest crush on you!   I thought of you when I jerked off. I did that for years!", he returned many times to chat, press his body against mine and to grope.  Each time, he was a little bit more drunk and with a new line.

"We're having sex.  Tonight!"
"You've made my cock so hard!"
"I'm not taking no for an answer!"
"I want you so bad!  I've wanted you for years."
"Here, feel my fat Portuguese sausage."

In plain view of everyone, students and my new lesbian friends alike, he groped me and my cock became rock hard and (I'll admit) I indulged in some groping action myself.  In the end, I had to keep shoving him away.   I did not want to have sex with him and escaped with my virtue intact.  He was just too much:  too fat, short, feminine, young and a bit needy.  AND, he was my former boss's son!  But I caved and gave him my cell phone number.

So this weekend, I received numerous texts from Ethan, Big Red and Jamie, all wanting to spend some time with me.   I'm feeling under pressure....

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Transgendered Dilemma

Today's Speedo-guy pics are a nod to yesterday's start of summer.  But it's far from summer-like here.... it's pretty darn chilly!

This post will involve two topics: my latest Pride adventure and an upcoming coffee date with an early 20-something transgendered man.  (female-to-male)

1:  Pride Film Festival
Our little town's Pride schedule is a busy one, with a Pride event being held seven days in a row.  The day after the Pride Breakfast, I skipped the Pride church service officiated by several LGBTQ pastors, honouring folks who were killed because of their orientation.   A nice thought, but having to go to church?  Meh.

But I happily went to our Pride Film Festival.  After several LGBTQ shorts, the feature was Cloudburst (2011), an adventure-comedy about two elderly lesbian nursing-home escapees who embark on a road trip to Nova Scotia to get married.  It was sort of a geriatric, lesbian Thelma and Louise.  Filmed in Nova Scotia, it premiered two years ago and will soon be released on DVD.  Cloudburst has been featured in LGBTQ film festivals the world over.

Along the way, Stella and Dot pick up a handsome, hunky hitchhiker, Ryan Doucette, who left me in a permanent state of arousal.  Although the storyline centres around a lesbian love story, there were enough views of male nudity to keep the horniest of gay guys happy: asses, cocks and balls.

While the film had it's plot flaws, I laughed out loud more during this movie than any I've seen. Watching Stella (Olympia Dukakis) rhapsodizing about the cunt made the movie well worth the $5:00 admission. 

The most notable thing about the screening was the fact that 90% of the audience were lesbians, some of whom were slim and attractive lipstick lesbians.   But the vast majority of the lesbian movie-goers were massive ladies wearing (not kidding) flannel shirts, work boots and really butch haircuts.  They looked like they came in from killing and skinning a moose for supper.  I found most of them deeply unattractive, scary, even.  Is it a general truth that gay men are afraid of lesbians?

But where were all the gay men?   Of the 100 attendees, maybe ten of us were men.  As well, it seemed that most of the Pride organizers were lesbian women.   Perhaps men, gay or straight, just rely on the women in their lives, whether their wives, mothers or lesbian friends, to organize their social lives.

  • Favourite movie quote:  "If I were on death row, I'd request my final meal be right between k.d. lang's legs."
  • My movie rating:  LOVED IT!!! *****

  • Favourite audience moment, for me:   Dot (who's blind), accidentally climbs into bed with a hot, naked, middle-aged man who has beautiful, muscular thighs and beefy ass.  When the audience gets a prolonged view of his pendulous cock and balls, the entire audience of tough, butch lesbians squealed as one:   "Ewwwww!!!!"  Too funny!

B:    Coffee date with a transgendered man.  18 months ago, we hired a painter to help prepare our marital home for sale.  The painter was a slim, blonde young woman named Lisa who I assumed was a lesbian because of her close-cropped haircut.

I noticed Lisa at the Pride Breakfast and the Pride Film Festival.  Finally,  she walked over to say hello and I compliment her on the quality of her painting work.  She thanked me but said her name was now Ethan. 

I said:  "Wow! Congratulations! Well you're a hot dude!" and shook her his hand. It also turned out that Lisa was a good friend of Mary (who I blogged about),  my lesbian friend of mine and a former colleague and Mary's 20 years-younger wife.

In stalker mode, Ethan googled my name the next day and found my class website.   He e-mailed me at work to ask me to have coffee one evening and has been texting regularly ever since.

The dilemma:  Ethan's an attractive guy and very nice, but I will never be interested in dating / hanging out with someone who's 25 - 30 years younger than me.  I don't think he knows how old I really am.  As well, I really don't see myself being intimate with someone who has a vagina, no matter how man-like he looks.  I just love cock too much!

But since Ethan is a friend of a friend, I didn't want to behave like an asshole and get a negative reputation in town amongst my new LGBTQ friends.  I could not text him to say:  "No, I'm not having coffee with a transgendered person."   I have to deal with it in person;  it's just not possible to have a meaningful discussion by text. 

So we agreed to a  coffee date on Monday evening and  I'm worried about hurting his feelings;   life as a transgendered person must be very hard. Any advice?

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Awkward moment with former student

I have no time for a proper post on the next Pride event I attended as it's been an exceedingly busy week.  My grade 12s wrote their 2.5 hour exam yesterday and all the marks and report cards need to submitted first thing tomorrow.  As well, the drama continues as my wife and I debate the share we`ll be paying for the kids`s drivers`insurance. 

As well, a young woman in my grade class suffered a "meltdown" and threatened me in class (not physically) so I kicked her out. This generated parental phone calls to our administrators and a summons to the office for me.  I just don't need this!

The administrators were very understanding and the student has been pulled from my class but this incident has generated a lot of work for me as "damage control" which must be submitted to the office tomorrow morning.

Now to the awkward moment:

I was approached by a former student at a Pride event yesterday evening.  I was in a semi-public location in clear view of other volunteers, some out teacher colleagues and some GSA kids, presently students at my school.

Horny Former Student had been in several of my high school classes in the late 90s and is now 34 year old.  He was short, tubby, obviously gay but kind of cute.   After a few drinks (liquid courage) he came bearing down on me.

Mr. _ _ _ _ _ !!  I had the biggest crush on you!    I thought of you when I jerked off.  
I did that for years!
Wow!  Awkward!!  I just wish there's been a video camera running to record my reaction....I hardly knew how to respond!   There's much more to the story, actually, but I'll save that for my next post

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Pride Week Breakfast

Although I can find something to admire in all types of men, in the final analysis, it's the masculine, fit, lightly-furry guys who really make my panties moist.  Some lovely specimens are pictured here.

It's Pride Week in my town!   My union president invited me to attend the Pride Kick-off Breakfast as an "LGBTQ leader in your school."  Too funny!  I fell into this LGBTQ leader role accidentally when I outed myself to the wider school district when applying to attend a homophobia workshop in May and it just snowballed from there.

I approached the breakfast venue with some trepidation, dressed in my Pride T-shirt and rainbow wrist band.   It seems that gay people are always coming out on different levels but this was to be my biggest "outing" yet.   I was coming out to the movers and shakers in my town rather than just within my immediate circle of family, friends, fellow teachers and union officials.

The hundred attendees included every LGBTQ leader in town, municipal and provinical politicians and officials from the local unions, industry and larger businesses.  My school division was particularly well represented with a sampling of Superintendents, elected trustees, teachers'  union leaders, myself, and various LGBTQ student groups who made moving presentations to the gathering.

I was most impressed that our Director of Education was there, a very important person in this, the biggest school division (geographically) in the province.   I don't actually know her and indeed, we'd rarely met but she worked with my ex-wife briefly about 12 years ago.   But the Director approached me from across the room, smiled warmly and said, "Hi _ _ _ _ !  How are you doing!"  and gave me a hug. 

Wow!  I'm still trying to figure what that gesture meant!  Was it a "thank you" for attending an LGBTQ event which was so important to the school division?  Support for my coming out as gay?  (and clearly, she had heard the gossip about it.)  Or support after surviving a difficult divorce?

There was another very interesting development.  Over a year ago, I had blogged about some reckless online behaviour by an elected official in our town, a divorced, closeted man who had sent me full-face, naked pictures of himself without even knowing who I was.

Well, the reckless, naked dude was actually a trustee with our school division and is now fully out as a gay elected official, featured prominently in the local media.  He was there as an organizer of the breakfast event.  We chatted briefly, shook hands and locked eyes as gay men do.  We had worked together years ago on a school committee when we were both "straight" married men and his kids attended my school.  He now knows that I'm gay but he still doesn't know that I the guy who he was propositioning online!

After a powerful keynote address by the director of Canada's largest LGBQT organization, I left feeling empowered and energized.  I was excited about: (1) being gay and (2) the potential impact that I could have as a LGBTQ role model and leader in my school and beyond.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Sauna sex

In gay circles, "sauna" or "steam bath" has long meant a place to go and have casual sex;  a brothel.  But in countries such as Finland, saunas have no sexual connotation at all.  Culturally, they're regarded as nearly sacred places where families can seek not only physical relaxation but mental and spirital healing as well.

From the first time he came to my house, Handsome Goateed Guy has asked to have a sauna together and last week, the stars lined up so that we both were available and all the kids were out of the house. Initially, I wasn't as keen on the idea as I'd never considered my sauna as a sexual place.  I would have much preferred him in my bed but it turned out to be a very sexy, sweet encounter indeed.

Although we've been together numerous times, it was the first time we'd talked at length. Nice!  I learned more about his background, family, jobs and gay history.  He's a quality person, low-key and drama-free, committed to his family and with a core of life-long friends.  He's much more of  a blue-collared guy that I had originally thought but there' s nothing wrong with that!

We sat beside each other, thigh-to-thigh, talking and giving each other hand jobs but without trying to cum.  It was very hot, sexually and in temperature, as our skin became more sweaty and slippery. 

Later, we took turns lying down the bench;  I lathered him up and caressed every inch of his body from toes, inner thighs, ass crack, pits to his neck.  Because it was mid-afternoon, the room was brightly lit and I got to see all of him clearly;  he's a fine physical specimen indeed!  Normally, I'm with men either in the dark or partiallly wrapped in bedding so this was a first for me, caressing a naked man in clear view in front of me.

But the problem with saunas is that the heat is exhausting and makes it difficult to maintain an erection.  Later, we moved up to the main house where all I wanted was sleep!   But we had a sweet sesssion in bed.  He's a fantastic kisser and cuddler but in the end, I was too tired to cum but he did.

In the afterglow of our sex, he took great care to give me his schedule for the next month;  his work days and when he's off or out of town. "When can we do this again?"  I've never see a guy more anxious to get together with me ..... there was none of the usual "playing-hard-to-get" games or pretending to be too cool which is so common amongst gay guys.  It's very sweet and funny!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Sleeping naked men

I love this recent post by Dan in OK City of (clothed) sleeping hotties cuddling each other.  Just adorable!  If I was lying beside one of them, I`d never be able to keep my hands to myself. 

I`ve posted pics of sexy sleeping men butnaked ones.  I`m sure that the taking of these pictures probably broke all sorts of privacy laws. By re-posting them, I am just perpetuating the violation of their privacy.   But wow.... these boys are hot!

A few random thoughts:
  1. My crushing 'end-of-year' workload is gradually easing as one deadline after another is met.  It's all very exhausting but my students will be starting their exams next week.  The end is in sight!   
  2. This workload is combined with many after-school commitments such as retirement parties, music recitals and the like.  Most unusally, I've been out nearly every evening this week.
  3. Next week is Pride Week in my town.   I am looking forward to attending and volunteering at many different sorts of events.  I'll have lots to blog about!
  4. All three of my kids and our three dogs have been staying with me this week and probably will be here full-time until September.  I should re-name my house the "No-Nookie Lodge," at least until my Love Nest is finished.  
  5. Starting next week, my ex-wife will be spending the summer at our friend's summer home a few kilometers down the beach.  All the kids will be living with me but will go back and forth freely between their two parents.  An ideal situation, really.
  6. Yesterday, my ex-wife and I had a stressful (for me) texting exchange regarding our son's car insurance but it seems to have run its course.  
He will get his driver's license in a few weeks and will put his truck on the road.  He purchased a $700 truck over the winter (with his own earned money) and has been getting it road-ready all winter long.  In his school auto shop, he has worked it every day using reconditioned parts or parts salvaged from scrap cars. 

It was a fantastic project and he learned a lot about car repair and about the value of money.   For example, instead of paying $80 or more for a new muffler, we went to the scrap yard and found a used one for $5:00.  

But my ex-wife wants us to pay his entire $2,000 / year car insurance but I refused:  
(1)  I can't afford it, but I don't want to tell her that. 
(2)  My son is willing and able to pay for his share of it.  The responsibility and need for budgeting will be good for him.
(3)  As a 16.5 year old, he really doesn't need his own car.  He would have had generous access toboth our cars and we would have paid his insurance in full as an `occasional driver`, like we did with his sisters.

But my wife was determined to "do battle" over it and threw up all the usual arguments such as guilt (He's had a difficult three years because of you!") and resentment  ("If it had been our middle daughter, you would have paid!)   As my father always said, my former wife is right all the time and has to win every battle, all the time.  But I really, really can't afford to pay the whole amount.

But we reached a compromise where each of us pays 1/3 (or so) of his insurance costs.  Another little milestone crossed!


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Airport pat-down

A recent post by Dr. Spo about airport security and a online story, "Who Pats Down Your Privates," reminded me that I had my first ever pat-down at airport security last month heading to my homophobia workshop which I forgot to blog about.

The security staff at our local airport is largely made up of middle-aged women widely rumoured to be lesbians.  They probably hire one another in a self-perpetuating cycle.  Believe me, I have little interest or experience with lesbians;  in fact, they rather frighten me.   So, why does everyone think the airport security ladies are lesbians?  They`re:
-have really butch hairdos, kind of a short 'wedge.'

I was pulled from the line-up but through some miracle, I was patted down by an attractive young man in his mid-20s;  cute, blonde, blue-eyed and looking very nice in his security uniform. He reminded me very much of many of the 22 year old men I've hooked up with. 

To avoid the perception of inappropriate sexual touching, the online article suggested that  security guards are required to pat down passengers of the same gender.  But what about when one or both of the parties are gay?

At the risk of sounding like some sex-starved old gay guy, it was very hot  having this young man running his gloved hands over my torso and surprisingly high up my inner thighs.  I started to get slightly hard, actually.   He squatted down in front of me in an open-crotched pose and I was treated to a great view of his pants dragged tight over his thighs and bulge.  

I must admit, it was exceedingly pleasant  (more in my imagination than in reality) but was over far too quickly.  I asked him why I was picked and he said that my number came up on the randomizer.

I had hoped that he picked me because he had a 'daddy complex', that he was overcome by my hotness. Darn!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Busy weekend

I spent the weekend recuperating from the most tiring work week ever!  I was even too tired to invite Big Red over for some sexytime. The problem was that he doesn't have a car so I would have had to make two round trips into town.

But  Handsome Goateed Guy did come over for some late-night sex in my sauna (at his request) but that will be the subject of another post.   He looks a lot like the guy pictured to the left except with smaller biceps and more hair.  But Goateed Guy has the same beautiful, lean, furry torso, slim hips, big cock and scruffy, handsome face. But Goateed Guy seems to have no awareness of how handsome he really is.

Last weeek, I worked late at school until 9:00 pm a couple of evenings and started at 7:30 am one morning.  In our business, the last two weeks of school are a crunch time, where a semester's worth of procrastination must finally be paid for... and I'm still far from caught  up. 

But this extra work was mainly to prepare for my job evaluation by our new vice-principal (my first since 1995!) which she left until the busiest weeks of school. 

She wanted to see unit plans, lesson plans, day planner, "teacher-parent communication logbook", learning goals, curriculum expectations, rubrics, samples of marked student work, success criteria... on and on. I don't know a single experienced teacher who does most of these things ...  it's mostly in our heads! 

Much of my teaching is moving into the electronic realm via classroom websites, e-learning and documents in an electronic rather than paper format.  I spent hours putting together a portfolio, a sampling of all aspects of my teaching practice. 

We had pre- and post-observation interviews with as well as the classroom observation itself.  In the end, she was tremendously pleased with what she saw and said that I did "exceptionally well."  Whew!

Several colleagues and I also supervised 120 students on a field trip to our local university.  I spent the day surrounded by lovely frat boys, delightfully filling out their jeans or wearing shorts which showed off their fuzzy man-boy legs.  I was consumed with impure thoughts all day long, imagining myself sucking their cocks.

The rest of the weekend was spent clearing out the upper floor of  "The Barn"... really, a rustic guest house on my property where I am building my love nest.  I hauled three trailer-loads to the dump, mainly musty old couches and cast-off furniture, one load to the scrap metal recycler ($) and made two trips into town to buy lumber at Homo Depot. 

I've included a "before" picture.  The interior is rather rustic now, but I will be framing in a 9x9 foot bedroom with sheet rock on two walls and ceiling, fully wired and with insulation installed in the floor, walls and ceiling.  I'm very excited by the new project; rather, having a really private space of my own.


Saturday, June 8, 2013

Big Red

Big Red first messaged me both on and He's a strapping young lad, 24, 6'-0" and 250 pounds but carries it well.   He has wavy red hair, bright blue eyes and lots of lovely reddish body hair.   I always smile at his profile pictures which reveal his face and a goofy, adventurous spirit. 

We'd texted a great deal but due to work schedules, we hadn't been able to get together.  He suggested I drop into his workplace to say hello, anytime.  He's an assistant manager in a small chain food store. 

I went to the busy shop with some trepidation, worried that he would think that I was some old creeper by showing up at his workplace.  I did my shopping and proceeded to his till.  When I was just about to introduce myself, I was joined in line by my former neighbour, a pastor's wife who belongs to a bible-thumping, intolerant, fundamentalist church.   FUCK!!

Big Red rang through my purchases as I chatted to the pastor's wife, thwarted in my plan to say 'hello' and ultimately, get into his pants.   I brought my purchases out to my car and returned to pick up a few more items and made a second run through his till.  "Back again?" he asked.

I was delighted at his reaction when I introduced myself.  "HEY!!!  Great!!"  He shook my hand and greeted me like a long-lost relative;  friendly, open and delighted to see me.  In the 30 seconds I was at the till, we whispered a bit about seeing each other again;  he was more than willing.  "Well, you know where to find me!"

I told him that I didn't usually shop there because it was more expensive than their competitor, he said:  "It's not any more!"   And as if my magic, I ended up paying two dollars for my $15.00 dollar purchase.  Too funny!  He's just terrible! (but in a good way).

I instantly became rock hard in my camo shorts and had to press against the counter to conceal it but he noticed anyway.  He was just such handsome, friendly, masculine specimen but it was the intensity in his blue eyes which did me in.

I later found out that he's just a young man who's making his way in the world, fully self-supporting and saving his money to go to university.  He's fairly inexperienced but has been out since the age of 18 and has one ex-boyfriend. (who was too much drama!)  I also found out that his mother is a retired elementary principal in my school district who I'd met but never worked with, but he wasn't troubled by that.

Since then, we've been together a few times and it's been very sweet!  He's a fantastic kisser and the sort of appreciative lover who is as keen to give pleasure as to receive it;  a rarity.  Ours was the sort of encounter where the time just slips away;  "Have we really been here for three hours?"

He's a larger guy, to be sure, but that extra bit of padding feels nice when we're lying naked together.  It's rather like lying on a soft, warm water bed.  Here's where my double standard really kicks in:  I wouldn't be attracted to an overweight mid-50s man but on him, it's fine. 

We're planning future get-togethers and even a sleep-over, but finding the time is elusive.   To further complicate matters, starting next week, all three kids will be living with me full-time until September. 

I can entertain Big Red privately in my love nest (under construction) in a building separate from where the kids sleep.   But eventually, I will have to tell the kids that I'm inviting this sweet young man into my bed.  There's no way that I can conceal it from them in the long term and I no longer feel the need to do so.

But it might be an awkward conversation.  I'll need to have courage!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Gay ageism: "seeking younger"

On gay 'dating' sites, I very often see profiles like this one from a 60 year old guy:   single, 5'-6", "a few extra pounds" (ie:  a short, fat old guy), "seeking a relationship" and finally "only guys in the 25 - 40 age range."

Dude, really? Seriously? Do you really think that a serious LTR is possible with someone 35 years younger than yourself? Or if you encountered a fit, smokin' hot guy your age, you wouldn't be interested in him because he was too old?   Or... if you hadn't let yourself get so fat, do you think that you might actually be attractive to younger guys? 

On sites like, the vast majority of middle-aged gay guys (40+) are interested only in "younger."   It's extremely common for a 48 year old guy to list his preferred range as 20 to 50.   Whoopee!  He'd consider dating someone two years than himself!

I wonder if these middle-aged men are in denial about their age and mortality.   The young guys are fun to be with, I'll admit, and must make them feel younger too.

I know I'm the pot calling the kettle black, given the number of 22 year old men I've hooked up with.  And yes, the young guys do often have hotter bodies, less-saggy skin and cocks that get hard more quickly.  But they're generally less skilled in the bedroom and have less desire to provide sexual pleasure to their partner.

But I've NEVER messaged a 22 year old for sex. It's always them wanting to hook up with me .. .and well, who am I to deny those poor, horny young men?  It's practically my civic duty, to help them out with their gay virginity problem.   I rarely turn down an offer for sex from someone in his 20s.

But I'd never seek a relationship with a guy in his 20s.... and maybe even a guy in his 30s.  When I started out on the gay sites, my goal was to find a guy exactly my age.  But I've discovered, every guy that I've met who's been my age (in my town at least) has been one or more of the following:
  • seeking only much younger guys
  • still in the closet and living with his mother
  • still in the closet and married to his wife
  • a real stick-in-the-mud, stuck on his routine and who I couldn't imagine fitting into my family life of kids, dogs and clutter.
  • fucked-up:  needy, desperate or somehow 'damaged' from spending their formative years in the closet when being an out was dangerous, illegal and the subject of scorn.
I've done the "older partner" thing already and I don't really want to do it again (my former wife is 58).   I really need someone who is fit enough to keep up with me in my athletic pursuits, whether skiing / snowboarding, hiking, cycling and the like.  So, I generally (and politely, with an explanation) turn down guys in their 60s who message me.... I have a double standard, I know.

But if I will be seeking an LTR one day, the question for me is this:  how young is too young?


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Perfect men

The pictures today are my idea of what a perfect man should look like:  lightly furry, masculine, broad-shouldered and a little beefy with natural muscles and a nice smile.  

If only I could find one of these perfect physical specimens who is also sweet, smart, romantic, sexually-skilled , "out" and has a strong libido.  I'd also want him to be sexually compatible with me and close to my age +/- 10 years, ready for a commitment and with a good job.  Is that too much to ask? 

Another important consideration:  Mr. Wonderful would have to be in love with me and me with him.  Maybe I'm naive to think this way, but I'm confident that he's out there .... but I'm not quite ready for him yet!

I've actually hooked up with numerous guys who looked like this but they were either: (1) married (2) unemployed or semi-employed, working at a minimum wage job (3) two or three decades younger than me or (4) closeted and living at home with their mothers or (5) lived in a far-away city.

Random thoughts:
  1. The new age restrictions on suck big time!  I've only had one message all week, a proposition from a slim, 37 year old crossdresser.  I was actually considering hooking up with him when his profile was deleted by the adminstrators for sexual content. 

  2. I miss all the messages from all those delicious, inexperienced 22 year old men!

  3. I've been too busy with work to try other sites such as or to set up a new account with a fake, younger age.  June is a very busy time for teachers here!

  4. After one week with all three kids here, I'm rather enjoying an evening alone.  In fact, I'll be kid-less for the rest of the week but made have arrangements for a couple of gentlemen callers to visit later this week.

  5. Big Red was actually available (and willing) tonight for some sweet sexytime, but I am having a performance appraisal at work on Wednesday and I have much to prepare.  I'm dreading it, actually.  My last one was in 1995! 

  6. PRIDE WEEK NEWS I have signed on to volunteer at several different events during our city's Pride Week:  the LGBTQ film festival, Drag Queen Night and the Pride Picnic.  Very exciting!

  7. On a more distressing note, I'm having some pretty serious cash flow problems right now with my new mortgage, $1,200/month spousal support payments and all the usual bills.  I got all misty-eyed when my 19 year old daughter gave me $400 of her own earings, over my objections, to help out.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Small town gay

This is me at yesterday's event, behind a locked door.
Every time I'm out in public, I'm sure to run into a dozen or more people that I know.  It's one of the realities of being a teacher in a remote town (or smallish city) where I've lived all my life. These people include:
  • people from my school community (students, parents, colleagues), past and present
  • relatives, including extended family
  • neighbours, past and present
  • relatives of relatives, such as the in-laws of my cousins and siblings
  • friends: mine, my parents or friends of friends
  • former classmates and colleagues of mine, my siblings or my parents
  • professionals; as my doctor, dentist, lawyers and the like.
I've now added a new and ever-growing category to that list: men I've had sex with.

On Saturday, I was supervising a team of our students at a large fundraising event for a local social service agency.  While there, I saw several people from my gay life.

Encounter #1:    One of the community sponsors of the event was on stage with a microphone.  He was nice-looking guy in his early 40s who somehow looked familiar to me.   "Oh my God!  I think I gave him a blowjob in the back seat of my car last summer!"  At one point during the day, I caught his eye and we nodded 'hello' before he scurried off.  But I'm fairly sure he didn't remember who I was.   Not surprising since our very brief encounter occurred around midnight and we never actually spoke.  

Encounter #2:   When the mother of one of my students in the fundraiser greeted me by first name, I couldn't quite remember where we'd met.  Then it hit me:  she was the best friend of Dating Guy who I've blogged about many times!  In fact, she and I met when Dating Guy took me to the small local restaurant where she works.  To add to the coincidence, my oldest daughter just started a summer job as a prep cook at the same restaurant. 

My student's mother stayed to watch the event and we chatted all day long surrounded by my students about our mutual friend, the Dating Guy and many other topics.  I knew that she knew about my gay experiences with Dating Gay as I heard through the grapevine that he told all his friends about me.  But our conversation could not have been more relaxed and natural.

Encounter #3:   Soon after, one of the young men running the fundraiser caught my eye from across the tent, smiled warmly and quickly waved.  It was Hunky 22-year old from last summer, he of my fondest and hottest gay memory ever! 

He was a gay virgin from when we first hooked up  and awkwardly lost our anal virginity together.  On another day, we had my sexiest shower ever when I rented a motel room for us.  I also took him to the dinner party given by an older gay couple which ended up as a hot tub foursome, of sorts.

There he was, more handsome than I remembered him: with  slim hips, muscular thighs and voluptuous ass squeezed into jeans, broad shoulders, very blue eyes wearing sexy boots, my favourite thing of all.  But it was his open personality as he "worked" the crowd, his charisma and smile which held the most appeal to me.

Hunky is gradually making his way "out" but I knew he isn't out at work to his colleagues so  I understood that we couldn't talk at the event.  Anyway, he was far too busy.  But I was amused when he keep glancing my way dozens of times throughout the day.

But it was a bittersweet encounter.  There I was, surrounded by my students, consumed with lust and getting hard thinking about the love-making that Hunky and I did last summer.  There he was, across the room but we couldn't even talk.

But I'll contact Hunky later this week;  I'm sure he'll agree to meet me for coffee but whether or not I get into his pants again is another question.   Unbelievably, he is mainly attracted to men who are older, fatter and hairier than me.  LOL! 


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