Monday, August 18, 2014

Craving cock and cum

This resembles me and the Romanian dude, except we were naked.  lol
How's that for an alliteration?

It's been a week since my lasta hookup* and I have cock withdrawal, bad.  I have an insane craving to kiss a guy, to suck his cock and taste his sweet / salty / bitter cum.

I think most of you already know, the taste of cum varies hugely with his diet and of course, whether or not he's a smoker.  :-)

I've had plenty of offers recently mainly from my regular guys, and I've turned them all down.  I've been far too busy and I can't risk YET AGAIN having one of the kids accidentally come home when I'm entertaining a gentlemen caller. 

It's happened twice this month but I haven't blogged about it.  So embarrassing!  So my gentlemen friends will have to wait for another two weeks until all the kids are gone. 

So, here's some random news:

1.   *  My last hookup was with a Romanian dude who resembles the biker at right, but with facial scruff rather than a full bead.  He's dark and swarthy with piercing blue eyes, muscular with magnificent, thick cock and pendulous balls.  He's smart, funny, a great kisser and insanely passionate.  He's my age and works as a custodian in my school division.

I would almost consider him as future husband material but sadly, he's married to a woman and has an adult son.  That really sucks!  I'm really not into hooking up with married dudes in principle and their availability is very limited.

Having said that, I'm sure that we'll be getting together again;  he wants us to become a regular thing.

2.  My oldest daughter has one more year of her chef's training programme but she's been offered a job at the top gourmet restaurant in town where she had a paid job placement this summer.   So in the next year, she will be at school full-time and work about 1/2 time at the restaurant;  her shifts generally run from 6:00 pm until midnight.

3.  This means that all three of my kids have been offered regular positions at the businesses where they had their school work placements.  This is highly unusual and it speaks to their excellent work ethic.  I'm enormously proud of them and also of my ex-wife and myself.  Despite our disastrous marriage and through some dumb luck, I know we did a fantastic job raising them. 

4.  In our small town, I hear often hear positive comments about the work performance of all of my kids from their colleagues and bosses. They praise the kids' ability to take orders and work hard and to get along extremely well with their colleagues and customers.  Most importantly, my kids work "smart" and use their initiative on the job to find solutions to problems on their own and anticipate ways to make improvements.

5.  My son is leaving for his commercial diving programme in two weeks and my ex-wife is highly stressed-out.  She's been a "Mommy" and is having a very tough time with her youngest leaving the nest.

She's been in charge of buying / ordering dozens of specialty items needed for his programme. (diving equipment, clothing and other gear)  She had a screaming fight with my son and he is no longer cooperating with her; she's turned the whole task over to me. 

So.... my ex and I have been in constant texting contact as my son and I work through his requirements.  He and I get along perfectly well and my ex and I are texting in a highly professional, cooperative manner.  She knows that right now, she can only get things done for him if she goes through me. 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Self-loathing and closeted

Today's pictures have nothing to do with today's story.   Ever since since I hooked up with Hunky Tradesman,  I've decided that one of my favourite positions for a man is on his hands and knees.

I love the view of cock and balls hanging between beefy thighs and a juicy ass yearning towards my mouth. 
For the past 18 years, I have an unmarried colleague (age 50) who is deeply closeted, but only to himself.  From his voice, mannerisms and behaviour around the male students, it is obvious to everyone that he is gay.   As they years go by, he seems to be getting gayer, more swishy and more bold (in the gay sense) all the time.

An out gay teacher at school here would not cause anyone concern, but Miss Piggy (as we unkindly call him), raises a red flag for everyone except, apparently, our administrators.  I am occasionally approached by fathers of male students who express their concern about Miss Piggy's proximity to their sons.   I suspect that as the only out gay teacher at school, they think I am an expert on all matters gay.

My response is always the same:  "I can't comment about a colleague.  If you're really concerned, then go talk to the principal."  But I always add:  "I would talk to your son about this first;  he probably knows all about it already.  I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

Miss Piggy has an attraction to, even an infatuation with, young boys, generally in grade 10.  He has a new "pet" every year, a male student who he favours with extra attention and friendship.

The young boy always fits the same profile:  usually gay or effeminate, shorter than him, with a tight body and and usually, blonde hair and blue eyes.

My colleagues and I find his behaviour at school nauseating, as we observe him getting all touchy-feeling with the boys in the cafeteria, caressing their shoulders or mooning about their lockers.

Persistent stories circulate about him hanging around in the boys' locker room while his junior volleyball team showers after a game.   Numerous parents (mainly fathers) have re-arranged the timetables of their cute sons to avoid Miss Piggy as their teacher.

He also sends private e-mails to students (one parent showed me an example) and gives "his boys" small presents and preferential treatment while marking student work.

Out in the community, I've heard countless stories about Miss Piggy from guys I hook up with.  When I tell them where I work, they respond:  "Hey, you must know _ _ _ _    _ _ _!"   They are all extremely negative about him.

He is generally described as "a self-loathing" gay, "messed up", an "old Queen" and "selfish."  After cumming but before his partner has done so, Miss Piggy will announce: "I'm done!" and walk out the door.  Miss Piggy lives with his elderly father and can never host so (I hear) spends much late-night time at a city park, cruising for anonymous sex with creepy, older, married dudes.

I dislike Miss Piggy intensely but as we work fairly closely together,  I make sure that our interactions are supportive and professional.  Since I came out, Miss Piggy avoids me and has that look of fear in his eyes, as though I'm going to jump and down, screaming:  "You're one of us! You're one of us!"

But I hear from colleagues that Miss Piggy constantly bad-mouths me behind my back.  I'm not concerned about this at all because: (1) no one believes him and (2) just consider the source;  he's the most fucked-up, disliked person that I know. 

In recent months, Miss Piggy has messaged me many times on but without knowing who he was talking to.  (other gay guys told me his profile name)  So awkward!

His squirt by-line is:  "Willing to pay $$$$ for young cock."  He's a teacher? Ick!

His messages to me became increasingly explicit as he pressed for a hookup and when I refused, he became needy and anxious.   Push. Push. Push.  Finally, I messaged him:  "I'm NEVER hooking up with you."  and blocked him.  

To me, Miss Piggy is a prime example of what a lifetime in the closet will do to a person;  completely fucked-up, living in fear, engaging in high-risk behaviour and damaged beyond repair.  

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Hunky Groomsmen

I attended my niece's wedding yesterday; the bride was 28 and the hunky, gorgeous, charismatic groom was 35. 

I spent the whole time crazed with lust at all their hunky men at the wedding;  friends of the bride and groom who were mainly in that age range. 

All the young men looked so handsome, just mouth-watering in their wedding finery:  all were fit and wearing slim, extremely tight dress pants which accentuated their gorgeous asses and thighs, fabulous shoes and dress shirts showing off their flat bellies.  The whole place seemed to be oozing testosterone.  

A few thoughts:

1.   For once, I dressed quite elegantly in black dress pants, black Aldo shoes and a black / navy blue blazer over a stretchy black T-shirt.  Every item I wore (including my underwear) came from a thrift shop, but what the heck, I looked fabulous with my summer tan and sun-streaked blonde hair, if I do say so myself.

I knew that I was being checked out all evening by a variety of 50+ women.  I thought:  "You're barking up the wrong tree, ladies!"

2.  I am fully out to my immediately family and the wider community but it was the first time I've seen a great many cousins and other relatives from across the country.  I wondered if they had heard about my gayness;  I suspect not, but it wasn't the place to discuss it and I really didn't care what they knew or didn't know. 

3.  It was my first wedding since  my divorce and I surprised myself by not being cynical about the whole institution.  The bride (a Ph. D. candidate) and the groom (a film producer) seemed so happy, compatible, deeply in love and passion, and so mature and settled in their lives that I could only feel that this marriage would last. 

4.  On the flip side, I hope to get married one day to some special guy but I could not imagine subjecting myself to all the hoopla associated with a traditional wedding like this one:  hall rental, catering, fancy dress, engagement parties, gift registries, cake-cutting and the like.  I'd sooner set my hair on fire!


Friday, August 8, 2014

Triathlete cocks and asses

We're in the peak of our fantastic summer weather and I have to force myself inside to post more than once a week. The weather has been glorious after a coolish, wet summer so far.

Today's pics are a nod to the major regional triathlon which I attended recently.  I was there for only one reason:  to check out the beautifully-fit, athletic men in spandex:  beefy thighs, flat bellies, spectacular bulges and asses galore.  So hot!

But I've been feeling rather BLAH! lately as in less than two weeks, I will be undergoing a major life transition:  The Empty Nest.  I think this will be even more of an adjustment than my coming-out and divorce journey.

I haven' t lived alone for some 24 years and most of the years in between have extremely busy, balancing a demanding job, dealing with my wife's anger and erratic behaviour, raising three kids and being heavily involved in their lives. 

Now, I will be in this big place all by myself (with two sweet dogs) and the thought makes me a bit weepy.  Oh, yes, I won't actually be ALONE .... I'm sure there will be a never-ending stream of sexy, horny men through here, but you know what I mean.  lol

Next week, I'll be helping my eldest daughter (22.5 years old) move into a small apartment in town.  In three weeks, both my middle daughter (nearly 20) and my son (nearly 18) will be attending schools some 2,000 km and 3,000 km away, respectively.

This summer, I've been trying to strike a balance, including:
-working on some major and endless renovation projects.
-a backlog of household cleaning
-organizing, still, from my move two years ago.
-relaxing, doing absolutely nothing.
-daily athletic pursuits (kayaking, cycling and swimming)
-visiting my elderly parents most days.
-aving the occasional hookup with some hot man.  (by the way,  I've had several spectacular encounters, recently!)

But my focus is doing stuff with my kids in the rare occasion that they're not working or hanging out with friends or staying at my former wife's house.  My time with them is running out quickly.  :-(

Friday, August 1, 2014

Hunky, shirtless roofers

Hey everyone!  It's been quite a while since I've posted but everything is fine.  I wish my long teacher's summer holiday could last forever.  We start school again in one month!

We finally have had some nice weather after months of -35 C temperatures this winter, so it seems a crime to be sitting inside tapping away on the computer.

As well, my kids have been popping in and out on a very irregular basis and as my computer is in a public area of the house, I haven't had many private moments to write a post.

I've been working very hard on numerous outdoor project such as renovating my large front deck and re-shingling a small building (I'm sure you can figure out which three pictures are of me.)

Our town was hit by a major hail storm which damaged countless roofs and as a result, there is a "roofing boom" going on.  Many dozens of lean, sexy, muscled and shirtless roofers have been brought in by roofing contractors from across the province. These hunky, young men are hard at work on rooftops everywhere, providing much eye-candy as I drive through town.

And I've also been busy on the hookup front and have had several really hot "firsts" with some sexy men in the past week;  I'll be blogging about some of these soon!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Sweet Brazilian Boy #3

I was messaged on Grindr earlier this week another university student from Brazil, 23 years old.  At his request, we exchanged phone numbers and texted for several days.

Sweet Brazilian Boy #3 asked repeatedly if he could come over for some sexytime.  Finally, I agreed and he asked to be picked up at 10:00 pm.

Buddy Bear:   Where should I pick you up?
Brazilian Boy #3:  In front of the library, beside City Hall.
Buddy Bear:  (to myself) OMFG!  That's near where Sweet Brazilian Boy #1 lives!
Buddy Bear:   So... do you live in a rented room near there?  An apartment by yourself?
Brazilian Boy #3:  No, I rent the main floor of a house with some other students.
Buddy Bear:     Men? Or women? Canadians?
Brazilian Boy #3: No.  My roommates are three other guys from Brazil in the same program as me.

Brazilian Boy #3 and Brazilian Boy #1 are roommates!  

They are closeted to everyone and to each other!   Further discreet questions from me removed any doubt, especially when I saw him leaving the same house as BB #1. 

Brazilian Boy #3 was 5'-11", slim and handsome, resembling the men pictured in this post.  He was also very intelligent and despite his limited vocabulary, shared some very interesting perceptions about life in Canada.  (he was very positive about Canadians!)

BB#3 had dated girls in Brazil and was closeted to everyone in his life.  He said that his family would be shocked when they find out he is gay;  it would NOT go over well at all!

Privately, I thought he had a very gay-sounding voice and was certain that his mother already suspected that he's gay:  mother's always figure out their gay sons before anyone!

I removed his Brazilian Boy's clothes to reveal a perfect, fine body:  broad shoulders (my favourite!), a well-developed chest, a beautiful, thick uncut cock a bit above average in size) and a juicy ass.  He had rather skinny thighs and sure enough, he was a rare Brazilian who did NOT play soccer.  lol

BB #3 was quite inexperienced and was a very awkward kisser, although he did improve somewhat with practice and with much coaching from me.  This was something of a disappointment because Sweet Brazilian BOy #1 was the best kisser I'd ever experienced.

I wonder, is it possible to "train" someone to be a good kisser?  Either you are a good kisser or you aren't, in my view.

But BB #3 excellent in the area of giving blowjobs.  He was a hungry, passionate cock sucker and spent much of our encounter devouring my cock with an energy and compulsion which I'd never before experienced.  Fantastic!  He set me a-trembling from head to toe, practically in convulsions.  It was SO HOT to look down and see that handsome young man worshiping my cock.  Unforgettable!

On the ride home BB #3 said he was going to delete his Grindr profile.  "Why?", I asked.

BB #3:   I don't like being on Grindr, having men contact me like that.
Buddy Bear:  But how will you meet other if you aren't on Grindr.
BB #3:  I don't want to meet other men!
Buddy Bear:  (to myself)  Shit! Fuck!

Dilemma:  I still want to hook up with Brazilian Boy #1 but don't want to give up BB #3.  Selfish!

Is it possible to hook up with two closeted roommates without having the whole thing blow up in  my face?  In particular, I don't want to hurt the feelings of BB #1 or have him think that all gay men are assholes. 



Friday, July 18, 2014

Gay dating in mid-life

As a newly-out gay man, my expectation was that, after several years, I would easily find a compatible man EXACTLY my age for a relationship and eventual marriage.  I'm turning 52 next week!

From my own experience and from talking to many other gay guys in our smallish, very remote city, a consensus has emerged:  there is an extremely slim chance of finding a husband from here who is my age.

In the past four years, I've met countless younger (and fantastic!) men but I haven't met a single early 50s gay guy who would have been remotely suitable as husband material.  The reasons:
  1. When we were coming of age (1980 - 1984), our redneck, blue-collared town was very inhospitable to gays. The vast majority of young gay man escaped to big cities with welcoming gay scenes such as Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto or even New York.
  2. Coming of age as a gay man in the early 80s meant that large numbers of my generation contracted and died of HIV / AIDS.
  3. A great many of the other gay / questioning men in my town remained in the closet, married and had kids.  I am messaged constantly by many dozens of these men, still married and in the closet.
  4. ________________ Can you think of any other reasons, Dear Readers?
Here's a follow-up from my last post:  after my enjoyable and unusual 2:00 a.m. walk with Dungeon Dude, I sent him this message.
Hey D _ _ _ _!
I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I'd like to say that I enjoyed our late-night walk enormously. You're a very smart guy; extremely funny and I admire how you are so devoted to your son. I also found you to be a very attractive guy with a face as smooth as a baby's bottom. Most remarkable! lol

I hope the walk wasn't too long for you, with your back issues? Also, I hope the medical procedure which you mentioned went well this week and that you will get good news from that.

I also enjoyed our conversation because I haven't spent enough time talking to really experienced gay guys like you, which I'm not. (really experienced, that is...) I would very much like to have you as a friend.

I have to say that after 18 years of marriage (the last half of those pretty hellish) and having been divorced for only 1.3 years, I cannot imagine a time which I will be want to get serious again with anyone. I'm sure that will happen one day but at this point, I couldn't predict when.

Anyway, I hope you and your son are well. :-)

Dungeon Dude responded with a pages-long, thoughtful e-mail.  A few of his main points:
  1. It was "painfully obvious" that we had very different life experiences but we were more similar than I probably realized.
  2. Our five year age difference didn't matter.
  3. He requires a year or longer to mourn the passing of a relationship.
  4. It normally takes him a very, very long time to find a gay man who has the "emotional maturity" that he is seeking.
  5.  Gay men of our age did not date in high school or even in their early 20s.  They had no "relationship practice" and often reached their 30s before they learned how to share a life.
  6. Other gay men often point out to him that he shouldn't be lonely because he has a son and is heavily involved in his life.
  7. Dungeon Dude admitted that it really was only late at night that it was apparent that being single and alone was difficult for him.  That's why he messaged me at midnight for our walk!
  8. He wrote:  "I found you intelligent also and that has ALWAYS been a huge turn on... it's the imagination that is the most fertile playground."
  9.  And:  "I liked how you are also so happy... that's a bloody rare thing in this city's gay cummunity." He signed off with a virtual hug and kiss, and gave me his cell phone number.

Sweet! I will respond to his thoughtful message in a few days, but after that, I need to decide what is my next move to encourage a friendship but not an LTR. Another walk in the park, perhaps?


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