Sunday, October 30, 2011

Here are some trick-or-treaters I hope to see on Hallowe'en night at my door.

Thank you everyone, for all your support and concern after my Debbie Downer post from yesteray.  Since coming out and separating from my wife, I've received tremendous, unequivocal support from everyone I've encountered:
  • online friends
  • parents and siblings
  • children
  • work colleagues
  • my real life friends (I don't have many)
  • medical professionals
  • my wife's best friends
  • and, off-and-on, genuine support from my wife.

I think this support has largely come because of my own personal qualities and behaviour. I've behaved with compassion and integrity throughout. I have worked very hard trying to meet the needs (present and future) of me, my children and my wife in a fair way.

I've even received indirect compliments from my wife who told her best friend that "_______ is always present. You can always count on him to be there when you need him." The best friend also complimented me for not engaging in "sleazy behaviour." I know if I went around sucking every cock in town (as much as I would want to), the support I enjoy would disappear very quickly.

Keep in mind that this blog tells my side of the story only;  my wife's account would be very different, I'm sure.   The fact remains that my wife has struggled with emotional and mental health issues for a long time but these really took over after the birth of our third child.  These include varying degrees of severe depression, anger management issues, A.D.D. and a crushingly low self-esteem.  She comes by it honestly;  her father had a severe psychiatric disorder for the last 25 years of his life.  An early Christmas memory involved her mother during a "nervous breakdown", smashing all the Christmas ornaments on the tree while the she and her siblings hid behind their father.  Her sister is presently is dealing with emerging psychiatric problems as well.

Sadly, she has consistently refused to seek professional help for her problems.

I'll address the points from yesterday's comments here:

Sean:  You are right in that I am contributing to the situation by accepting the abuse.  Now, the verbal attacks are very infrequent.  I think our new strategy of discontinuing any "difficult" conversation and continuing it the next day via e-mail will work fine.   Keep in mind that we are nearing the end of a very stressful process.  In three weeks (if all goes according to plan ...  by no means an certainty), my wife will have moved into her new home and I will have the waterfront home in my name only.

To Everyone:  I have the very best team of medical professionals looking after me who are all aware of my situation.  I am focusing on my own health and well-being.   I am very good at de-stressing although even this has been difficult recently.

Will J:  Yes, I need an experienced mentor to bring me up to speed on my gay sex life.   Volunteers, anyone?

WCS:   Yes, I get the greatest pleasure from my visits with Hottie Physiotherapist. We've decided I will have a weekly session for the rest of the year, at least.   He has a great and funny curiosity about people.  We spent our last visit  discussing our childhoods, siblings and what sort of traditional foods our mother's cooked.

Having a masculine, sexy man run his muscular hands all over my body is an added bonus. During my last appointment, I lay on my back in an open-crotched position,  he took a firm grip way up high on my inner thigh with his hot, beefy hand while pressing down hard on my hipbone.  ... both hands inches from my cock.  Wow!  Very pleasant!!

Skier:  Yes,  my wife's behaviour and acceptance of me has increased hugely over the past nine months.  I don't think us formerly-closeted, gay middle-aged men can fully understand the devastation that a wife feels when her marriage (and indeed) entire life has been torn apart.  Compassion is needed, for sure. 


My daughter and I picked up some pumpkins at a local farm for her teen-agers' pumpkin-carving party.   There were many hot Dads there (early 30s) with their little kids..... all of them a bit rumpled looking, slim, scruffy-faced but as sexy as hell.   I find these Dads far sexier that guys who aren't;  I don't know why.   Fantastic eye-candy!!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Distressing News

Recently, the 40-year old husband of a very close work colleague (of both my wife and I) complained of an unusually bad headache while at home with his wife and two young children. Hours later, he threw up and then dropped dead of a brain aneurysm.  It really brought home to everyone at work how fragile life really is.

My 52 year-old brother was diagnosed this week with prostate cancer, confirmed by needle biopsy.   He is scheduled for surgery in about three weeks followed by radiation treatments.  He is very calm and stoic about it but  it is regarded as a serious case given his age and a very strong family history of the disease.  Our father was diagnosed sixteen years ago at the age of sixty but responded very well to treatment.

I am certain that I will be heading down the prostate cancer route myself one day.  My brother, father and I are so much alike physically, we could be triplets although with different ages.  I'll be discussing it with my doctor next month but I find the prospect of dealing with second bout of cancer enormously discouraging. Just as I am about to embark on an exciting new gay sex life, the prospect of an operation which may leave me without the ability to get an erection or have bladder control fills me with despair.  But I'm projecting here... I should be concerned about my brother and parents.

Although my wife regularly says she "cares about me" and we are generally non-adversarial, I still get verbally attacked a couple of times per month.  Just to keep the lines of communication open and to avoid slipping into an adversarial relationship, I generally just listen to the abuse.  There is no point in responding.

All of this combined with selling our house is hugely stressful and I've been bothered by the odd twinge of chest pain (EKG showed no abnormalities) and a slight recurrence of my spinal problem due to muscle tension.  My stress-induced asthma is also back with a vengeance.  I just want all this to be over with!!

Following this week's distressing new, I emailed my wife describing my symptoms and said that I could no longer accept verbal abuse and that all our communication should be via text or e-mail.  She has told me numerous times over the years that she wished I was dead;  I pointed out that I was quickly heading in that direction and it wouldn't be in anyone's interest (the kids or hers) if I dropped dead of a heart attack.

After several days, she phoned with a tearful apology and insisted that she does care about me.  She explained that when she thinks about her situation, she sometimes gets so enraged that she says hateful things but has no memory the next day of anything she said.  I already knew about this .... it happened a couple of times per year throughout our marriage.

I said, fine, we'll continue talking but I reserved the right to hang up the phone the instant she became abusive.  She agreed to this so once again, all is well.... more or less.   We continue to work cooperatively to sell my house, the sooner the better!


Wednesday, October 26, 2011


A slow but steady trickle of serious potential buyers has been looking at our house so my wife and I decided to "stay the course" and continue to try to sell it privately.  The main reason is to avoid the + $25,000 realtor's commission.   Despite the problems in our marriage (the biggest one being my gayness), we always have been remarkably compatible in our attitudes to nearly everything.

I don't see how any divorcing couple can go through this process if their relationship was in any way adversarial.  So much trust and cooperation is needed and amazingly, we have achieved this for the most part.  We still have our regular ups and downs but we always move past them with the air clearer than before.

Emotionally, my wife has had a difficult time spending so much time in her former home where we raised our kids and had so many good times.   A few days ago, she phoned me, sobbing, "I just can't do it anymore!"  I said:   (1) Yes, I know it is extremely difficult for you;  it takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing.   (2)  No one asked you to be the saleswoman here;  it was your idea to do this and you can also choose not to do it.  (3)  If you don't want to show the house anymore, I'll do it or we'll hire a realtor.

In the end, my wife decided to continue to show the house herself.   I admire her for her courage.  She really is exceptionally good at selling and dealing with potential buyers ...  far better than I would be. 

By the way, I came out to about ten of my closest work colleagues this week. Everyone was hugely supportive and excited for me.  After everything I've been through in my nine-month journey, this coming-out was tiny taters;   a total non-event.   I'll describe this in more detail in my next post.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

In Limbo

Here's a picture which somewhat resembles the "between-the-legs" bear hug given me by Hottie Physiotherapist described in my last post. The differences are that I was in my undies, lying flat on the examining table and his arm was pressed firmly against my manhood. Hot!! Also, I was enjoying the sensation far more than Mr. Blue Singlet, judging from his grimace.

While the housing market here is still a booming "sellers' market", the price wars only involve starter and mid-range homes located right in town. Our house looks absolutely beautiful in a spectacular setting but is very much "higher end" and a little way (14 minutes) out in the country. That is considered a fairly long "commute" in our small town.

I wish Hottie Physiotherapist would try this move on me, but gently.
In just over a week privately listing it on a local real estate website, just four couples have viewed it. Some were extremely interested but so far, no nibbles.

By this time next week, we might have to bite the bullet and list it with a realtor, "priced to sell." By November 19th, my wife will take possession of her new house, I will have the deed on our waterfront home placed solely in my name and we will be facing a serious (but temporary) problem with cash flow. A bit discouraging but this situation can't go on forever.

In the meantime, my entire family is in a curious state of limbo. In both of our homes, about 90% of our belongings (except furniture) are packed. Much has already been moved or placed in storage.

The house up for sale has been "staged" and the kids and I have moved into my parents' house with our two dogs. It would be impossible to keep my house neat-looking with teenagers and dogs in residence. The kids switch back and forth between the waterfront house and my parents' home according to some mysterious schedule worked out between themselves.

I have my old room which I vacated 27 years ago... and it's as claustrophobic and lacking in privacy as when I was a teenager. Like every stereotypical immigrant mother, mine is constantly urging me, "Eat, eat eat!" I must admit, she is an excellent cook and it is fantastic not to have to do any of the cooking or cleaning up. She is very much making up for lost time since her "baby" has returned home after many years.  That can be a bit smothering and annoying, but overall, we are doing just fine.

While our living arrangements are very pleasant and stress-free, we are all very anxious to move into our new homes. It would be great to feel settled.

Sunday, October 23, 2011


I don't want to belabour my crush on Hottie Physiotherapist but I've decided that he is my ideal man.

He is sexy, my age (or a bit older), intelligent, funny, handsome, muscular, sensitive, as great values and very skilled at his trade. Also, he thinks I'm funny.  If he was gay and single, I don't think I'd ever let him go.

Hottie treats the "whole person" and was the only medical person, after nearly three decades, to recognize that my spinal neck problem had caused crookness throughout my body as I compensated for the neck pain, scarring (internal and external) and lack of flexibility.  This lead to problems elsewhere, such as in my lower back, hip and knee.

To answer Jon's question on my previous post, "Does your therapist notice your... ahem... embarassment?"   ;)    How could he not notice?   While I don't have raging boner during my visits,  there is usually a nice semi going on.  During the last visit when he was between my open thighs, pressing down hard with his large hands on my hipbones, his beefy fingers were pretty much encircling my package.  I was thinking, "Oh, my gosh!"

When he was done, he pulled up the waistband of my undies a little as they had slipped down.  Again, double oh my gosh!  So funny yet oddly tender.... when was the last time a medical person adjusted your underwear?   He knows I'm gay  (I told him)... is he teasing me?

Here's Hottie's sexiest treatment yet.  Lying half-nekkid on my back on the examining table, he told me to bend my knees, spread my knees apart and raise my buttocks off the table. Wrestlers know this as The Bridge... I call it "bulges-in-the-air."  I could hardly believe what happened next.

He pressed his manly pecs against my naked mid-section and shoved his right arm between my legs with his hand pointing towards my head, underneath me.  He told me to lower myself so my full weight was on his arm.   It felt great, having my ass-crack press around his forearm!

His bicep was pressed firmly against my balls, with the crook of his elbow and forearm following the curve of my taint and ass-crack.   He reached around the top of me with his other arm and gives me a very long, tight bear hug.... a firm, warm pressure against my bulge and ass-crack.   Again, OMFG!!   (I think he was adjusting or stretching my pelvic girdle...)

A pleasant memory!  Sadly, I am down to one visit per week with Hottie, soon to be twice per month.   :-(

Friday, October 21, 2011

Sexy Bear between my Thighs

A provocative title, but sadly, no sexual substance to it.  This happened today during another appointment with Hottie Physiotherapist.  Gosh, I enjoy these visits and as a bonus, he is doing wonders for my spinal problem.

We started out with me lying on my back at the end of the examining table, knees drawn up... nekkid, except for my undies.  He positioned his torso between my thighs and placed his huge, muscular hands on each of my hipbones, fingers splayed, and pressed down hard. 

I know I sound like some sex-starved virgin, but OMFG!!   Having this sexy guy wedged between my thighs, his fingers nearly touching my bulbous groin region.... it was insanely intense...  although I tried hard to avoid it, once again I got aroused during our sessions.   Not rock hard, balls-aching aroused, just a pleasant tingling feeling.

He then grabbed my knees and forced them towards my shoulders....  much grunting (from me...)   This position looks so easy when porn stars do it.... clearly .... I'm not flexible enough for this.

In our third new position for today, I anchored my head and buttocks on the examining table.  He locked his arms around my mid-section, one under me and one over in a great big bear hug and pulled me sharply to one side.  Sweet! 

Whew!  I think I need a cigarette....

House update:  Our house has been on the market for about five days.  Several groups have looked at it but no nibbles.  If we have no action by the weekend, we'll probably lower the price and list it with a reactor.  

To keep our "staged" house clean, the kids and I have temporarily moved in with my parents.   A bit claustrophobic, but it is very pleasant to have someone else do all the cooking, cleaning and shopping for once, having done it exclusively for the past twenty years.  Bliss!  ...the ultimate in relaxation.

It is sweet observing my parents after 55 years of marriage;  they are so compatible and enjoy each other's company so much.  Their existence is relaxed and conflict-free, something I very rarely experienced during my marriage.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

10 Ways Homophobia Hurts Straight People

All bromance pics from

Recently, I attended a half-day anti-homophobia workshop with about forty of my closest colleagues.  Every employee in our company (nearly 1000 people) is required to attend this workshop over the next year.  The workshop was excellent,  lead by one of our province's leading LGBTQ advocates.

I was enormously proud of two things:
  1. My fantastic colleagues who participated with energy and enthusiasm, and displayed a great willingness to learn about LGBTQ bullying and its solutions.
  2. To my knowledge, our employer is only one of TWO in all of Canada in our category of business which requires that its employees complete such a LGBTQ  programme.  I constantly marvel at the progressiveness of our employer in this remote, smallish, blue-collar city. 

Here is one of the many resources which were discussed at the workshop.   I'm not sure I agree with every item on the list, but I think #3, "Homophobia makes it hard to be close friends with someone of the same sex" affects teenage boys in particular.  Do any of these points resonate with you?    Credit:  British Columbia Federation of Teachers

  1. Homophobia forces all people to act “macho” if male or act “feminine” if female. This limits our individuality and expression.
  2. Homophobia puts pressure on straight people to act aggressively and angrily towards LGBTQ people.
  3. Homophobia makes it hard to be close friends with someone of the same sex.
  4. Homophobia often strains family and community relationships.
  5. Homophobia causes youth to become sexually active before they’re ready in order to prove they are “normal.” This contributes to an increase in unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
  6. Homophobia prevents vital information on sex and sexuality to be taught in schools. Without this information youth are putting themselves at greater risk for HIV, and other STDs.
  7. Homophobia can be used to hurt a straight person if they “appear to be gay.”
  8. Homophobia makes it hard for straight people and LGBTQ people to be friends.
  9. Homophobia makes it hard to put an end to AIDS.
  10. Homophobia makes it hard to appreciate true diversity, and the unique traits that are the mainstream population.

  11. Magnificent flopping 
    dicks... I love the freeballing
      white shorts dude the best.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I've included the wrestler pics for two reasons.  First: for eye-candy, nothing can beat a muscular wrestler in a spandex singlet to highlight beefy thighs and beautiful bulges.   Just look at that pendulous, meaty package hanging down from Mr. Blue Singlet at left.  Surely a gay man must designed the white stripes on that singlet ...  they just draw the eye to his beautiful curves.

Second:  During my most recent visit to hottie physiotherapist, I steeled myself not to think impure thoughts as he manipulated my body.  I failed miserably and I became more aroused than ever. The reason?  This week's  involved some of the moves shown in each of the three pictures ... but without the fingering.  Hot!   Details to follow in next post.


My wife and I are now in a phase of exceptional cooperation as we progress through the various milestones of our agreement with no problems.  After a couple of months of hard work and 1 - 1/2 days of paid help for final cleaning and "staging", my house was placed on the market today.

In my "higher-end" neighbourhood, most homes are sold privately and my wife is handling all the marketing and selling.   If it doesn't sell privately within two weeks, we will list it with a realtor.

She is exceptionally good at getting the best price and dealing with prospective buyers.  (I'm not ... being too modest to brag)   For once, having a pushy and aggressive wife has its advantages!  So far, three couples have been through the house today with some more appointments in the next few days.
In the meantime, one (or both)of the kids, the two dogs and I will be living at my parents' house for a few days.  No one can mess up a house quicker than a 14 year old boy... pee on the toilet seat and dirty dishes, dirty socks, underwear and crumbs everywhere. Ugh!

Also, to deliver her sales pitch most effectively, my wife needs to be alone with the prospective buyers and not have family members listening. We tend to snicker at her spiel as it seems so fake... at least, it's not the person that we know.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

As a 19-year old cancer patient, I would sometimes get rock-hard erections during medical procedures.  In Erections R Us,  I previously posted about some incidents which happened 29 years ago this week.* 

Recently, this has been happening during my twice-weekly appointments with my physiotherapist, but I'll admit, only semi-hard ones.

Like foolish gay men everywhere, I think I'm in love lust with this incurably straight, married guy.   He resembles the guy pictured at left but is far more handsome.  Here's a description of my hottie physiotherapist; 
  • Bear-ish and very muscular with lovely broad shoulders
  • Furry, but not overly so
  • Has beautiful, soft brown eyes
  • Has a nicely trimmed beard sprinkled with grey
  • Is French-Canadian ... French-Canadian men are the most sensual of all,  isn't that correct, Jon?
  • Has a French accent which makes my man-panties moist 
  • Beautiful smile and laugh
  • Has massive, muscular, very warm hands which he runs over my body throughout our session
  • He's very intelligent, sensitive and experienced in his profession and offers me much hope for improvement

At our first session, he asked me to strip down to my undies.  I wasn't expecting this for a neck problem.   I thought, "Thank God I'm wearing underwear!!!"  (I often freeball.)  I was wearing my skimpiest white bikini briefs, pictured in the banner.

As he ran his muscular hands over me , twisting me this way and that, I immediately felt a tingling in my balls.   He then parked his hot, beefy  hand. fingers splayed, on my hip bone only an inch away from my ever-stiffening cock.  This went on for a long time ... about a minute. 

OMFG!  I thought, "What is he doing that for?  Is he teasing me?  (He had previously asked about the stress triggers in my life and I told him about my gay journey and divorce.)  I was spared the embarrassment of a full tent-pitch by the fact that I am middle-aged, was wearing very tight undies and sheer mental concentration.  Oh, the discipline!

I see him again later today.  Gosh, I'm looking forward to it!  I think I'll need to wear a double layer of underwear ....

I love the "peek."

*  I have been cancer- free for 29 years this week.  At 19, I had a nine-month battle with a malignant, metastatic melanoma which had "massively spread" beyond the original site.  I'd had several recurrences, numerous surgeries and nearly four months of radiation treatments.  

At the time, the survival rate was 0%. Even today, only about 20% of patients with this specific diagnosis will survive.  As I go through my little divorce dramas, I think about my cancer episode constantly.  It helps keep me grounded and optimistic. 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Fuck Yeah _______

We had a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house.  For once, I did nothing to help with the meal;  no cooking, serving or cleaning up.

The sad truth is that it was the most enjoyable holiday meal I've had in many years because my wife wasn't there.  She has had serious conflicts with every member of my family;  in fact, she hadn't spoken to my brother and sister-in-law for fourteen years.  This makes things a little tense when they are sitting across the table from you.  This family dinner was fun and relaxed, as it should be.

I'm exhausted as I've been working very hard on the house for next weekend's showing.  I've been doing it all (with a bit of paid help), packing up the clutter, completing unfinished projects, cleaning and "staging" room by room.  The house is starting to look great, however.

So...  how about a post with no thoughtful content at all?  Here are some pictures from some of my favourite Tumblr  fuck yeah sites.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

What do you do with a drunken sailor?

There are three elements to this post's "drunken sailor" theme.

1.  Thankfully, our little dog has regained all of his bodily functions.  He is able to walk in sort of a straight line but staggers this way and that..... just like a drunken sailor.  Poor little guy;  he's trying so hard!

2.   When I was in Halifax, Nova Scotia, last month,  I so wanted to go to the local gay clubs and hook up with a drunken sailor.

From, "There's just something about one of these military men that's so appealing. They're usually young, in shape, clean, neat, and, most importantly, shipping out in a few days."  And, they look pretty darn hot in uniform... and I'm sure, even better out of it.   

Alas, my daughter was with me the whole time, so it wasn't meant to be. I shouldn't complain that my daughter wanted to spend time with her gay Dad... I'm very lucky!

3.  I first saw this video on a favourite blog, Ajax in the City.    Check it out!  What a hoot!  It is a "camp" version of the song from the 1960s, I think.   What's a poor gay guy to make of  a line like, "Hey, hey up he rises?"

Friday, October 7, 2011

Bartlebi of New Day, New Life posted about body types recently.  If I had to pick my favourite type of man, the guys in the first two pics would do nicely. Do you have a favourite type of man?

My wife phoned, sobbing and tearful.  She apologized (sort of) for her behaviour on the day our little dog became sick.  She said "I am hanging on an emotional thread, just getting by one day at a time."   Oh, the drama... it is never-ending!  While I am sympathetic,  I've always had a difficult time keeping a straight face after such statements.  

She has never been able to cope with the normal ups and downs of life but it has been an extra stressful time recently.   Her underlying stressors are our divorce, having a gay husband, her sister's psychiatric problems and ongoing conflicts with other people.

On top of that, a severely handicapped client under her charge at work had a near-death experience (not her fault).  She nearly quit her job on the spot after 28 years, but a colleague talked her out of it.  Our little dog getting sick was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

The end result:  she said that she could no longer help out at the house it is just too emotional.  I supported her on this decision and was in fact, relieved.  She was getting very little accomplished here anyway.  I get to do whatever I see fit, all the time, without have to argue about every detail.  Bliss!

The next weekend is the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday... not a good weekend to try to sell a house.  We now plan to put my house on the market in one week with open houses on October 15 and 16th.

Doggie Update:

Our doggie is still running a fever at times but it is much reduced.  He neck and body are still twisted into a circle some of the time.  When we bring him outside, he will run around and around in a tight circle about a dozen times.  

This is distressing to watch.   However, when my son puts him on a leash and with gentle coaxing, our dog will allow himself to be guided in a straight line.   It's like he has to learn again how to use the right side of his body again.  My son says he's gradually improving.
You don't see a picture of a skinny,
freeballing ginger in short shorts
with a walking cast on his foot every day.

On the positive side, our doggie is eating and drinking  really well, with assistance, and he seems to have regained his full range of senses.  My daughter asked today, "Is it possible for a dog to have hallucinations?"    Sometimes, he barks randomly at nothing .  He wasn't the smartest dog in the world before;  now we're wondering if he has all his marbles after his health scare.

Still, our dear little dog is making a remarkable recovery .... something I never expected.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Five on the Fifth: Pleasure

I have a update on our little dog's condition  at the end of this post.  He's making progress!

Steven Chapman says:

"Take 5 photographs on the days leading up to the 5th and publish those on your own blog and then add the link to my blog,  State of the Nation UK so that others can see your images.

This month's theme is PLEASURE.  Here are a few simple things which I do nearly every day which give me greatest pleasure and much-needed stress relief.

I've noticed that my online exhibitionist tendencies tend to increase when I'm very stressed-out, exhausted and feeling blaaah.  I starting to wonder if I'm deliberately seeking attention to help me feel better.  Whatever... here is a post with a half-nekkid me, me, me in every picture.

I get great pleasure in playing with my ... er... computer.

Cuddling with our recovering little dog. Nothing gives him
greater pleasure than sleeping on his favourite black sheepskin rug.

He's so much happier at home than at the vet's.

Food gives me great pleasure every day.  Here's supper:
  crepes with strawberries and a little whipped cream.

My great relaxation is soaking in the tub.  

Eating ice cream gives me pleasure:   how about eating ice
cream, bare-assed on a sheepskin rug?

After three days and two nights at the vet, we took our little dog home.   My wife felt strongly that he needed to be among people who loved him.  His fever is slightly reduced and he has regained some of his functions such as his hearing and bladder control. All the vets in the clinic are at a loss to explain his symptoms since he has severe neurological symptoms and a high fever, indicating an infection, yet his white blood cell count is normal.  

They offered a spinal tap which we declined (duh!) as it is (1) painful (2) has some risk (3) expensive and (4) a positive result would not change the treatment being given. I said "yes" to an abdominal X-ray because eating garbage (as our dog does regularly) could result in neurological symptoms depending on the metals lodged in the stomach. The X-ray result was negative.

Our dog's head and whole body is twisted to the right, so when he tries to walk, he mainly falls over. Poor little guy... he's trying so hard! On the positive side, he wagged his tail at the sight of us and is completely pain-free. Also, he is eating (hand-fed) and drinking extremely well. We are cautiously optimistic.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Worried about our Best Friend

Early Saturday evening, one of our three little dogs (my son's) suddenly seemed disoriented and was panting and shivering.  By bedtime, he seemed unable to hear us and was having difficulty walking.  Overnight, he developed a high fever so we brought him to the walk-in veterinary clinic early Sunday morning.

He seemed to have lost most of his neurological functions;  it was like carrying a limp bag of bones.  The vet speculated it was spinal meningitis or encephalitis.  At present, our little doggie is having a sleepover at the vet's and is on an IV receiving massive doses of steroids and antibiotics.  This is the last thing my son (or the entire family) needs to deal with right now.
Lucky Doggie!

In the entire history of our marriage, there were two aspects to any problem.  The first and easiest part was dealing with the problem itself, such as fixing the flat car tire or leaky roof.   The second and far more difficult part was dealing with my wife's hysterical over-reaction to everything.

With trepidation, I phoned my wife and she, in true form, immediately to blamed me.  (she blames me for everything).   There was something that I had done, or didn't do, which caused this.   I let the dog wander around the yard unsupervised and he ate something toxic or I didn't get him vaccinated for Lyme disease.... and on an on.

Then she started screaming at me over the phone, "Well, your son has enough to deal with, having a gay father!   If that dog dies, it will be up to me to pick up the pieces!!" She throws my gayness in my face every time she's angry ... she's the only one who hasn't yet accepted our situation.  

While not yelling back, I said very extremely firmly, "The dog being sick has nothing to do with me being gay.  _ _ _ _ _ couldn't care less about my gayness  ... we get along better than ever.  Also, aren't you being just a little bit arrogant?   Do you seriously think that you are the only parent who can provide emotional support?   Your emotions are so out of control, what the f*ck makes you think you can help anyone?  You can't even help yourself!"

She demanded that our son immediately come out to her house, so she can fly into her "Big Mommy" act.  I put him on the phone but he refused to go .... and so ended our conversation.

I'm not concerned about what my wife said ... same old, same old.  We'll discuss it calmly tomorrow.  In the meantime, we are worried sick about our sweet little dog.

Saturday, October 1, 2011


A young Benjamin Godfre,
My daughter has been urging me to take a break from my house-selling preparations as she worries about a recurrence of my past back / neck problems.  She offered to buy me a ticket for a production of Macbeth being staged in a historic barn, all wood beams and stone construction.  What I didn't realize that we were with a group of eight of her friends, all 17 - 18 years old and I was the only adult along;  I was very touched that she wanted to include me.

The barn was a fantastic setting... very spooky... and sitting in the front row, we were only a few feet away from the many lovely young men (20s to early 30s) in the cast.  All were slim and sexy as hell, most with scruff or beautifully-sculpted facial hair.  All the costumes were knee-length tunics with a slide slit, so I was treated to  great views of fuzzy, frat boy calves with the occasional flash of thigh when they knelt down.  Hot!  

Some of the younger actors were "cute" rather than hot.  The actor who played one of the three witches was just oozing sex!  Slim, tight body, amazing goatee, shaved head, sexy voice, perfect teeth...  he caused a tingling in my nether regions.  
Love the gray in his hair.  Hot, hot, hot.

I used to feel like such as old perv in these situations, admiring beautiful young men but not anymore;  I just enjoy it.  After losing some of my gay virginity with Hottie Nurse, I know that if any of these young men were gay, there's a very good chance that some of them might be interested in me.

No time for a proper post as my wife asked permission to spend the day working at my house with about four other helpers.  I told her there's no need to ask permission; this is her house too.  As though I would object to getting help with this monstrous task!

I expect much will be accomplished, but I need to prepare for their arrival.   I need to put away some of my stuff I've already packed so she doesn't get into it, finish lunch preparations (chili in the slow cooker) and clean up the kitchen.  Even though she hasn't lived here for eight months, she'd be embarrassed if her friends saw the kitchen in a mess.

This is sort of what I looked like in my 20s and 30s,except with skinny bird-arms and no visible abs.  Same hair colour, body type and degree of fuzziness. I love this pic as he is so incredibly hot, yet a really average sort of guy, cock size included.


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