Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Sweet Brazilian Boy #3

I was messaged on Grindr earlier this week another university student from Brazil, 23 years old.  At his request, we exchanged phone numbers and texted for several days.

Sweet Brazilian Boy #3 asked repeatedly if he could come over for some sexytime.  Finally, I agreed and he asked to be picked up at 10:00 pm.

Buddy Bear:   Where should I pick you up?
Brazilian Boy #3:  In front of the library, beside City Hall.
Buddy Bear:  (to myself) OMFG!  That's near where Sweet Brazilian Boy #1 lives!
Buddy Bear:   So... do you live in a rented room near there?  An apartment by yourself?
Brazilian Boy #3:  No, I rent the main floor of a house with some other students.
Buddy Bear:     Men? Or women? Canadians?
Brazilian Boy #3: No.  My roommates are three other guys from Brazil in the same program as me.

Brazilian Boy #3 and Brazilian Boy #1 are roommates!  

They are closeted to everyone and to each other!   Further discreet questions from me removed any doubt, especially when I saw him leaving the same house as BB #1. 

Brazilian Boy #3 was 5'-11", slim and handsome, resembling the men pictured in this post.  He was also very intelligent and despite his limited vocabulary, shared some very interesting perceptions about life in Canada.  (he was very positive about Canadians!)

BB#3 had dated girls in Brazil and was closeted to everyone in his life.  He said that his family would be shocked when they find out he is gay;  it would NOT go over well at all!

Privately, I thought he had a very gay-sounding voice and was certain that his mother already suspected that he's gay:  mother's always figure out their gay sons before anyone!

I removed his Brazilian Boy's clothes to reveal a perfect, fine body:  broad shoulders (my favourite!), a well-developed chest, a beautiful, thick uncut cock a bit above average in size) and a juicy ass.  He had rather skinny thighs and sure enough, he was a rare Brazilian who did NOT play soccer.  lol

BB #3 was quite inexperienced and was a very awkward kisser, although he did improve somewhat with practice and with much coaching from me.  This was something of a disappointment because Sweet Brazilian BOy #1 was the best kisser I'd ever experienced.

I wonder, is it possible to "train" someone to be a good kisser?  Either you are a good kisser or you aren't, in my view.

But BB #3 excellent in the area of giving blowjobs.  He was a hungry, passionate cock sucker and spent much of our encounter devouring my cock with an energy and compulsion which I'd never before experienced.  Fantastic!  He set me a-trembling from head to toe, practically in convulsions.  It was SO HOT to look down and see that handsome young man worshiping my cock.  Unforgettable!

On the ride home BB #3 said he was going to delete his Grindr profile.  "Why?", I asked.

BB #3:   I don't like being on Grindr, having men contact me like that.
Buddy Bear:  But how will you meet other if you aren't on Grindr.
BB #3:  I don't want to meet other men!
Buddy Bear:  (to myself)  Shit! Fuck!

Dilemma:  I still want to hook up with Brazilian Boy #1 but don't want to give up BB #3.  Selfish!

Is it possible to hook up with two closeted roommates without having the whole thing blow up in  my face?  In particular, I don't want to hurt the feelings of BB #1 or have him think that all gay men are assholes. 



Friday, July 18, 2014

Gay dating in mid-life

As a newly-out gay man, my expectation was that, after several years, I would easily find a compatible man EXACTLY my age for a relationship and eventual marriage.  I'm turning 52 next week!

From my own experience and from talking to many other gay guys in our smallish, very remote city, a consensus has emerged:  there is an extremely slim chance of finding a husband from here who is my age.

In the past four years, I've met countless younger (and fantastic!) men but I haven't met a single early 50s gay guy who would have been remotely suitable as husband material.  The reasons:
  1. When we were coming of age (1980 - 1984), our redneck, blue-collared town was very inhospitable to gays. The vast majority of young gay man escaped to big cities with welcoming gay scenes such as Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto or even New York.
  2. Coming of age as a gay man in the early 80s meant that large numbers of my generation contracted and died of HIV / AIDS.
  3. A great many of the other gay / questioning men in my town remained in the closet, married and had kids.  I am messaged constantly by many dozens of these men, still married and in the closet.
  4. ________________ Can you think of any other reasons, Dear Readers?
Here's a follow-up from my last post:  after my enjoyable and unusual 2:00 a.m. walk with Dungeon Dude, I sent him this message.
Hey D _ _ _ _!
I'm sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I'd like to say that I enjoyed our late-night walk enormously. You're a very smart guy; extremely funny and I admire how you are so devoted to your son. I also found you to be a very attractive guy with a face as smooth as a baby's bottom. Most remarkable! lol

I hope the walk wasn't too long for you, with your back issues? Also, I hope the medical procedure which you mentioned went well this week and that you will get good news from that.

I also enjoyed our conversation because I haven't spent enough time talking to really experienced gay guys like you, which I'm not. (really experienced, that is...) I would very much like to have you as a friend.

I have to say that after 18 years of marriage (the last half of those pretty hellish) and having been divorced for only 1.3 years, I cannot imagine a time which I will be want to get serious again with anyone. I'm sure that will happen one day but at this point, I couldn't predict when.

Anyway, I hope you and your son are well. :-)

Dungeon Dude responded with a pages-long, thoughtful e-mail.  A few of his main points:
  1. It was "painfully obvious" that we had very different life experiences but we were more similar than I probably realized.
  2. Our five year age difference didn't matter.
  3. He requires a year or longer to mourn the passing of a relationship.
  4. It normally takes him a very, very long time to find a gay man who has the "emotional maturity" that he is seeking.
  5.  Gay men of our age did not date in high school or even in their early 20s.  They had no "relationship practice" and often reached their 30s before they learned how to share a life.
  6. Other gay men often point out to him that he shouldn't be lonely because he has a son and is heavily involved in his life.
  7. Dungeon Dude admitted that it really was only late at night that it was apparent that being single and alone was difficult for him.  That's why he messaged me at midnight for our walk!
  8. He wrote:  "I found you intelligent also and that has ALWAYS been a huge turn on... it's the imagination that is the most fertile playground."
  9.  And:  "I liked how you are also so happy... that's a bloody rare thing in this city's gay cummunity." He signed off with a virtual hug and kiss, and gave me his cell phone number.

Sweet! I will respond to his thoughtful message in a few days, but after that, I need to decide what is my next move to encourage a friendship but not an LTR. Another walk in the park, perhaps?

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

S & M

I've been messaged on squirt.org a numerous times over the past year by a handsome French Canadian guy in town.  He was in my age range, 47 years old, but at 5'-9" and +250 pounds, he was way too chubby for me!

Our texted conversations were some of the most unusual I'd ever experienced.  He was heavily into leather ("Mr. Leather _ _ _ _ 2009!), S & M and bondage.

In fact, he had a fully equipped dungeon in his basement complete delightful items such as whips, paddles, ball gags, harnesses, restraints, a nail bed and a vast wardrobe of leather and chain.

He occasionally brought in dominatrix women from a far away city to conduct workshops and demonstrations on S & M and boasted of "hundreds" of local men who used his services.

And then, in the middle of our S & M conversation, he would interrupt himself:  "I have to run now!  I am taking my son to the swimming pool.  It's his 11th birthday party!!"   Wow!   What a disconnect!

I later found out Dungeon Dude had sole custody of his son (who was actually his second cousin), adopted as a toddler from a highly dysfunctional family.   Dungeon Dude was an extremely devoted and excellent parent.
Flash forward:  two nights ago I was in bed when my phone chimed an squirt alert at midnight.  Dungeon Dude was up and asked if I would like to go for a walk with him in a wilderness park in our town;  after a year of chatting, he wanted to meet me face-to-face.

I thought:  "What the hell!  Why not!" and within 30 minutes, we were walking in through the deserted wilderness park.

Dungeon Dude was:
-extremely handsome with brown eyes and hair and a face as smooth as a baby's bottom.
-a lot slimmer than I'd imagined, having lost 35 pounds this year to fit into 34 waist shorts.
-very chatty, intelligent and extremely funny
-very experienced, having come out at 19 in our (then) rather redneck, intolerant town
-courageous and a somewhat militant, having "done battle" with social service agencies and other bureaucracy, as the first gay, single man in our town to adopt a young child. 
-despite all the leather gear, he was quite feminine and "gayer" than I would have imagined.tive

We walked, talked and laughed for over two hours, increasing my knowledge of inflicting and receiving pain for sexual purposes.  We walked some two miles until I realized that he was getting slower and slower due to a chronic back injury which he hadn't mentioned..  I drove him home and returned to my bed at 2:30 a.m!

The bottom line:  Dungeon Dude was in a relationship for sixteen years with a closeted elementary school teacher but was dumped several years ago.  He is actively seeking a regular boyfriend and an LTR; that's why he wanted to meet me.

On the positive side:  he's smart, employed, funny, handsome, owns a house, is extremely devoted to his son, has been in a very long term relationship and has a fairly attractive body.

On the negative side:  I'm not keen on the "dungeon" aspect of his life although he assured me that he is quite happy to be "vanilla" as well.

But if I was looking for a deal breaker, it would be his chronic back injury.  My entire life is devoted to physical activity:  swimming, walking, snowboarding, cross-country skiing, kayaking and running, which I plan to resume soon.  I need (not just want) a partner who can join me in all these activities and he cannot do any of them.

I want to send him a little messaging thanking him for our enjoyable walk. I wouldn't mind being his friend! But I need to be clear to him that I am NOT ready for a LTR with anyone.   Suggestions?

Saturday, July 12, 2014


Wow!  It's been a long time since I've posted!   Although I'm on vacation (woo-hoo!), it seems like I haven't had a minute to spare.

I've been extremely unmotivated about posting about my fantastic World Pride experiences (but I will): the Totally Naked Toronto men naked dance party, the Pride Parade and my pretend boyfriend.  I prefer blogging about events as they occur, in real time, rather than two weeks later.

So here are some random, recent occurrences.

1.  I've been trying to focus on fitness during my teacher's vacation, although I do very well on that department all year around.   I've been doing multiple athletic things every day:  cycling, walking my son's dog for hours and swimming at the Athletic Complex.  I've resumed running, very gently due to my spinal arthritis and plan to run a 5 km race in September.

2.  I drove by my parents' house at 7:00. a.m the other morning, enroute to the hospital to have some skin tags removed. To my great concern, their car was not in the driveway and further investigation revealed that their doggie was home alone;  most unusual!

I raced to the Emergency department and found my parents:  my father drove himself and my mother at 2:00 a.m. when he discovered blood in his urine.

With my aging parents, it's just been one thing after another!  After numerous tests and an ultrasound, a urinary tract infection was diagnosed rather than something more serious.  Whew!

3.    On a positive note, my entire family is gathering next week for my father's 80th birthday dinner at the local curling club which, typical of small, northern Canadian towns, serves the best "Chinese" food in town.  lol   I'm looking forward to it enormously!

4.   I had another sweet session with Sexy Muslim Dude, even better than the first.  I asked him to leave my asshole alone this time but said I would consider ass play for future get-togethers, to which he readily agreed.

He is so passionate, sweet, funny and the most devoted and eager cock-sucker that I've ever met.  But even better, we got to know each other much better and I learned much about his family and upbringing in the UAE.  Details to follow.

5.  I've had a sudden influx of messages on pof.com from blue collar guys.  First, a 30 year old steelworker, (6'-1", 180 pounds, athletic, muscular build.  Woo-hoo!) messaged me from a town 2,500 km away.  He was coming to my town for two weeks, to stay at his late grandparents' cottage on a beautiful lake and wanted to arrange some sexytime.  He was apparently smitten by my profile!

Most unusually, he asked if he could phone me and I agreed without hesitation.  Hunky Steelworker sounded sexy as hell, masculine and perfectly sane.  We seemed sexually compatible so I'm looking forward to meeting him next week.  Interesting!

6.  A 28 year old mechanic, (5'-10", athletic build, "seeking a woman") also messaged me on Plenty of Fish. His profile said he was seeking a woman who, like him, enjoyed the country life, fishing, hunting and camping.  He also hoped to get married and have a kids one day.

Buddy Bear:     Why are you messaging me?  What are you looking for?
Mechanic Dude:   I'm a bisexual submissive guy looking for a top to use me as his toy for onging fun."
Buddy Bear:  Wow!  I wouldn't have gotten any of that from your profile?  lol!

After much questioning as to my cock size and sexual preferences (apparently, I passed the test!), he said he wanted to meet me. But I needed to find out what he was looking for. 

Buddy Bear:   If we do get together, what do you like to do with guys?
Mechanic Dude:   I dont top. im always a bottom and im into bondage.  I want you to tie me up and rape my ass. I swallow if im told to
    Buddy Bear: Do you kiss guys on a casual hookup? Kissing is of primary importance to me and just general sensuality, naked full body contact, cuddling etc.
Mechanic Dude:  No I dont kiss guys or cuddle. Ever. I prefer to be used more as your fuck toy only.
Buddy Bear: To be really honest, I'm not sure that we'd be a good match.  I rarely agree to a hookup without kissing. I would love to meet you but our needs / wants seem very different. :-(
Mechanic Dude:  Ok. I'm sorry to hear that.  Take care then.

OMFG!  Although I have no desire to be tied up, every, I've actually been wanting to try a bit of bondage on another guy.  But the "no kissing" part was the deal breaker for me.  

Who would ever have imagined that your hunky, small-town mechanic had such usual tastes in sex!  You never know, eh?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Curved Arab cock

My Arab dude looked like him!
  1. My father is "on the mend" after his fall and is looking much better!
  2. My former wife says that she has all the tax documents photocopied and will be sending them me today.  I'm hopeful that this is indeed the end of this particular little drama.
  3. I hosted a little dinner party for my ex-mother-in-law and included my parents, kids and some friends.  Afterwards, I send my ex-wife a generous portion of the (fabulous!) leftovers.  She texted me a gracious little thank you note for the food. 
Despite our difficulties, I try to take the high road and believe that these little acts of kindness help in maintaining some goodwill between us.  And I must add, my wife often sends little tidbits of food to me when she cooks a special meal.  We're trying!

After the dinner party guests went home on Sunday night, I was left alone as all the kids were spending the week in town with my ex. Hmmmm.... I was home alone for the first time in weeks. What to do?  What to do?

I logged onto Scruff and contacted a young dude who'd been messaging me for weeks.  "Do you want to come over?"  To my surprise,  he agreed and within an hour, I was picking him up at his apartment on the same block as my parents' house.  Yikes!

Abeeb is a Muslim from the United Arab Emirates, 24 years old and an engineering student at our local university.  He was just adorable!   Beautiful, shy smile, brown eyes, olive skin, skin-tight jeans and a handsome face, 5'-9" and 165 pounds.

He seemed to have an insatiable desire to touch a man;  during the drive, he held my hand in both of his and then caressed my thighs, arms, shoulders and chest.   In my bedroom, he shoved me backwards onto the bed, threw himself on top of me and pinned my arms back.  An alpha male!  An insanely good kisser!

However, I'm not used to being dominated so it turned into an erotic wrestling match.... so hot!   I eventually gained the upper hand, being taller and heavier by some 30 pounds. 

At one point, he wanted to top me so, as a wimpy bottom,  I reluctantly agreed.  He had a very skinny cock, jsut 5.5 inches long, but the problem was that it was curved sharply upwards*.  I just didn't see how it would feel being topped by that!

Despite his best efforts to prepare me with much tongue action on my asshole and the use of well-lubed fingers, it hurt like hell when he pushed his cock into my.  OWWWWCH!   Within 30 seconds, I told him to stop which he did and I lay doubled over in pain for a minute.  Fuck!

I recovered quickly and we resumed our hookup;  he was a devoted kisser and the most skilled cocksucker I've ever experienced.  In the end, he came three times in the three hours we were together and I came once.

By by 2:00 a.m., I had enough!  I was soooo tired and I still needed to drive him 25 minutes back to his house and then return home. We kissed as I assisted him into his underwear and kissed some more at my car.  He couldn't tear himself away!  The next day, he messaged me on Scruff:  he wants to get together again.

*Does anyone have experience with curved cocks?   My experience with Muslim Dude's curved cock in my ass was really painful!
His curved cock looked like this.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

The Most Beautiful Cock in the World, Part II

I've been feeling extremely blah! in the week after World Pride Toronto.  There were several contributing factors:
A.  My 2013 tax return is being held up because Revenue Canada needs more information:  the Divorce Degree signed by the judge, the Divorce Agreement signed by the us and the lawyers, and evidence that I have actually paid to her the required spousal support. 

I passed the request along to my ex-wife which resulted in some oppositional behaviour and still more nasty texting from her.  My middle daughter was caught in the middle of all this and I inadvertently said something which made her cry, which I feel terrible about.

As a result of the delay, I will have to phone Revenue Canada to ask for a second extension for the review but I hope to have all the need information by the middle of next week.

I have the option of stopping her support payments until she provides the required tax information, but that would further poison the atmosphere, so I will see what happens.

 B.  My father, now 80, suffered a face-plant fall on his sidewalk, resulting in a banged-up face and eyes swollen shut;  the first serious injury he's ever had.

He's on blood pressure meds, blood thinners and has bad arthritis in knees and hips, so the fall could have been caused by dizziness or just a trip.

To make matters worse, he and my mother did not tell anyone in the family about his accident.  In fact, he only went to the ER the next day when it because clear that his injuries were fairly serious and then, he DROVE HIMSELF there, much to the chagrin of the medical staff.

It's always distressing when your parents start to fail;  I just feel like crying to see that strong man so diminished.  This is quickly followed by the second grim thought:  I will be following in his footsteps all too soon.

C:  We are now starting to pay for my son's commercial diving programme which starts in September.  My bank balance is now into the red and it will only get worse.

The cost will be around $30,000, of which 1/3 will be paid out of an existing RESP and 1/5 will be paid each by my ex-wife.(it's what we can afford!)   My son will have around $5,000 from his summer job to chip in but there still will be a shortfall. 

One sweet note:  I now have a regular friend with benefits or "fuck buddy" although I don't care for that term.  He is the sweet, sexy, hung Italian dude I first posted about in The Most Beautiful Cock in the World.

He's the same age as me;  intelligent, fit, handsome, horny as hell, a fantastic kisser (he's Italian, after all), a passionate cuddler and a skilled top, although I did the topping yesterday.   We've been together five or six times and have now agreed that we will start seeing each other on a regular basis. 

This leads to a blogging dilemma.   It would feel like a betrayal of confidence to blog about someone who I care about or someone with whom I might become serious.   I probably won't want to tell you much about him.

But I will tell you that all of today's pictures resemble him, but he looks most like the black Speedo dude at the top.    :-)

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Afterglow of World Pride 2014

I am back at home from World Pride Toronto 2014, exhausted but exhilarated in the afterglow of a gigantic four-day orgasm of gay fun and experiences.

I'll post about most of it in the upcoming weeks but not right now.  I'm just too tired!

Some memorable events include the TNT Naked Dance Party (hot! hot! hot!), the most fantastic Pride parade ever and my "pretend" boyfriend with whom I walked hand-in-hand for two nights along Church Street and exchanged Public Displays of Affection.  Sweet!

Up next:  Toronto Pride 2015! 


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