I wish everyone reading this has a healthy, happy, financially-secure and sexually-satisfying 2012 in which you are grateful for the blessings in your life and where you find contentment in the "present" moment.
I've never done New Year's resolutions before but will do so this year, with the goal of maintaining the momentum of my incredible journey.
For 2012, I plan to:
- Maintain my health and fitness goals. I will continue to see Hottie Physiotherapist and my cute 34-year-old Italian massage therapist* weekly to continue the amazing improvement in my spinal health. I will continue my slow loss of weight (ie: fat) but hope to increase my muscle strength and mass.... but I'm not sure how I'll do this. I have been increasing my cardiovascular fitness by cross-country skiing several times a week but hope to add lane-swimming at our local university pool. I find lane-swimming boring as hell but the frat-boy scenery might be a good motivator for me to actually do it. *I haven't yet blogged about him.
- Volunteer at one but preferably two LGBTQ organizations in town. I already know the people to contact in this regard. One organization needs volunteers to help at big events such as our Gay Pride week in June or our LGBTQ Film Festival. The other organization provides blanket support to LGBTQ folk in the community, but is located on campus of our local university so most of the clientele would be of university age.
I hope to volunteer at the university-based organization but am concerned that I will look like some lecherous old perv (which is what I actually am) who is only there to hookup with the hottie frat boys. Tricky!
- Continue with my sexual exploration as an extremely inexperienced gay man. I will keep a lookout for "real life" opportunities to meet gay guys such as through mutual friends, work colleagues or social events. Realistically, I may have to use some online sites such as Adam4Adam, Bears411, SilverDaddies and the like to arrange some safe hookups. (any others you can suggest?) Although the pickings are slim, there are some interesting guys listed there including a number of 40ish married or divorced gay guys with kids.
Frankly, the prospect of arranging online hookups in my town absolutely terrifies me, but I'm not sure why since I've had success with online hookups before. I think what is terrifying is the remote possibility that I might meet Mr. Right or to have Mr. Right want to purse a LTR with me. I am just not ready to into another relationship; I'm just too battered and bruised right now.
By far the best advice came from Michael of Michael-in-Norfolk who told me, "Be judicious in who you pick. As I found out from a disastrous relationship, sometimes being alone is better than being with the wrong person."
- Continue to push ahead with our separation / divorce. Although we've reached an astonishing degree of civility and cooperation and have largely separated our assets without conflict, there are numerous challenges ahead. These include finding money to support two kids away at university by September (at $18,000 a pop), providing financial support for my wife when she retires next June and paying the bills / mortgage at my new waterfront home. First step: we need to find a buyer for this house!
The last word on my hopes for 2012 comes from that dear man, Dr. Spo, who said,