The biggest change I've experienced with the finalization of my divorce two weeks ago is that I now feel that I can be completely open with my kids about dating and hooking up with men. I feel no need to apologize or hide what is normal, healthy behaviour.
I came out to my kids over two years ago and they were completely fine with it but since then, I feel that I have sneaking around behind their backs. I've invited men over to the house (platonic or otherwise) only when they weren't home or said that "I'm going to do some errands in town" rather than telling them I had a date. But I still wouldn't hook up with a guy if they were actually in the same house.
I kept my activities secret out of my (justified) concern that my wife would hear about my sexcapades with men before our divorce was a done deal. She would have certainly become more entrenched in her bitterness at this news and our divorce negotations would have suffered.
A couple of weeks ago, I had invited Blowjob Hottie to come over for some late-night sexytime. My son sleeps in another building on our property some distance from the main house. I told him: "I'm having a friend coming over at 10:00 tonight. Could you be finished in the house earlier than that?"
Although I didn't tell him the explicit details, he certainly would have known what my friend and I were going to be doing ... and he was perfectly okay with it. By 9:30, he had visited the bathroom and made his final raid on the fridge before retiring for the evening in the other building.
Last month, my 18 year-old daughter was hanging around in the kitchen far past her bedtime, hesitating about starting a conversation. Finally she asked: "When I get a prescription on your drug plan, do you get a statement about what it is?"
I instantly knew what it was about. I said: "Megan*, if you're planning on getting birth control, I think it's an excellent idea! It's normal and healthy for you and your boyfriend to be doing this. It's fine ... and I think you're being very responsible!" *not her real name.
She replied: "Gosh... this is awkward!"
Buddy Bear: "Òh Megan! If you only knew the shenanigans that I`ve been up to with men in the past few years!!!! Anyway, I'd be concerned if you two weren't having sex!"
She asked: Are you still seeing Ron? (She knew about my last year's Special Guy when I accidentally sent her a text intended for him)
Buddy Bear: "No .... actually.... he was a married man and a bit of a sleazeball. His wife caught him cheating with men. I mean, men other than me."
Megan: "Well, he'll have to work that out! So are you seeing anyone?"
Buddy Bear: "Well, I had been dating a guy but I don't think he's right for me."
Megan: "Well, I hope you find someone nice!" We hugged and said good night.