Saturday, April 13, 2013

Sex talk with my kids

The hot Indian boys pictured here all resemble my daughter's boyfriend.   Men from India and aboriginal men are my absolute favourites!  But my daughter's boyfriend is much too young, very straight ...and (of course) strictly off limits.  In fact,  I'd probably be more interested in his Dad!

The biggest change I've experienced with the finalization of my divorce two weeks ago is that I now feel that I can be completely open with my kids about dating and hooking up with men.   I feel no need to apologize or hide what is normal, healthy behaviour.

I came out to my kids over two years ago and they were completely fine with it but since then, I feel that I have sneaking around behind their backs. I've invited men over to the house (platonic or otherwise) only when they weren't home or  said that "I'm going to do some errands in town" rather than telling them I had a date.   But I still wouldn't hook up with a guy if they were actually in the same house.

I kept my activities secret out of my (justified) concern that my wife would hear about my sexcapades with men before our divorce was a done deal.  She would have certainly become more entrenched in her bitterness at this news and our divorce negotations would have suffered.
A couple of weeks ago, I had invited Blowjob Hottie to come over for some late-night sexytime.   My son sleeps in another building on our property some distance from the main house.  I told him:  "I'm having a friend coming over at 10:00 tonight.  Could you be finished in the house earlier than that?"

Although I didn't tell him the explicit details, he certainly would have known what my friend and I were going to be doing ... and he was perfectly okay with it.  By 9:30, he had visited the bathroom and made his final raid on the fridge before retiring for the evening in the other building.

Last month, my 18 year-old daughter was hanging around in the kitchen far past her bedtime, hesitating about starting a conversation.  Finally she asked:  "When I get a prescription on your drug plan, do you get a statement about what it is?"

I instantly knew what it was about.  I said:   "Megan*, if you're planning on getting birth control, I think it's an excellent idea!   It's normal and healthy for you and your boyfriend to be doing this.   It's fine ... and I think you're being very responsible!"  *not her real name.

She replied:  "Gosh... this is awkward!"

Buddy Bear:  "Òh Megan!  If you only knew the shenanigans that I`ve been up to with men in the past few years!!!!   Anyway, I'd be concerned if you two weren't having sex!"

She asked:   Are you still seeing Ron?  (She knew about my last year's Special Guy when I accidentally sent her a text intended for him)

Buddy Bear: "No .... actually.... he was a married man and a bit of a sleazeball.  His wife caught him cheating with men.   I mean, men other than me."

Megan:  "Well, he'll have to work that out!  So are you seeing anyone?"

Buddy Bear:  "Well, I had been dating a guy but I don't think he's right for me."

Megan: "Well, I hope you find someone nice!"   We hugged and said good night.




  1. At least your "kids" are old enough to not be freaked out about their parents (you or their mother) having sex. I think it would have been harder if they were 5 or 6 years younger. As to the drug plan, your daughter clearly wanted to have the conversation, at least at some level, or she would have just paid for them herself - at least here BC pills aren't that expensive. Good on you for being open and honest and having raised children that have mature attitudes about normal human activities!
    Peace <3

  2. Hey Buddy. I had to do a double take when I read the title of your post. I have a little dsylexia, so often I really have to pay attention.

    Sex talk with my kids: Interesting, appropriate.
    Sexy talk with my kids: Ummmmm. Inappropriate.


  3. I think your openness and honesty is so much more healthy for kids to see and experience and helps them as adults. It's one of the things I love so much about the Simpsons. No matter what, Marge and Homer not only love each other, they are hot for each other and have fun and passion.

  4. Jay M: yes, my daughter could have paid for the pills on her own but she really wanted to have "The Conversation" brief as it was. I'm very proud of her. The kids are 21, 18 and 16 and are plenty old enough!

    Jack: funny guy!

    Sean: Yes, thank you for your comment about "open and honest" .... that's us! I've rarely seen the Simpsons but will watch for their "passion" the next time I do!

  5. thank you for being open with your kids; so many parents are not and the kids are fucked up as adults. (ask me how I know this)

  6. WOW. So open about sex. Can't imagine EVER talking to my parents like that.

    1. Mike, it wasn't a bad conversation at all! Our sex talk wasn't too explicit.

      My daughter told me: "I'm NOT going to be discussing this with mom!! LOL. My wife would have been way more graphic about discussion of their lady parts and would have added a safe sex lecture to boot.

  7. Congrats on the divorce - great feeling isn't it?

    My son sleeps across the hall from Bill and I. I expect that he expects we aren't only sleeping . . . :-)

    1. Yes, the final divorce decree left me with the most incredible feeling of relief and freedom! I am very fortunate in that I have three separate buildings on my property with sleeping quarters. I don't think I'll ever need to have man-sex in the same building as my kids.

  8. As expected, it seems to have been more of an issue for you then it was for them. Amazing how that works. We worry about coming out and for the most part, no one cares. Congrats on the courage to ask your son to be gone by certain time. Who knows eventually one of the kids will say "Dad, be cool and relax, we aren't clueless"

    1. Yes, I say that all the time to the closeted middle-aged guys I meet. They tell me: "I have to be discreet! No one knows I like guys!"

      I tell them: (1) No one will care whether or not you're gay and (2) You're 50, not married and don't have a girlfriend? Trust me, EVERYONE already knows you're gay!! Who do you think you're fooling?

      You wouldn't believe how many times I've told guys that!

  9. LOL, I imagine so. But the married guys who are gay are a different story! As we both know. But even for them, it will turn out to be better than they think. Your kids and mine had no trouble with it. My friends couldn't have cared less. As for my wife, my being gay was the least of our problems.

  10. It's important - and wonderful! - that you be open and honest about sex with your children... to let them know, as you said to your daughter, it's perfectly normal, natural. They'll have a much better attitude about it and have better relationships as a result.

  11. My Dad always told me to be careful where you ejaculate....Then my Mother would tell me........My Dad hit the target and produce baby boy in collage.....But sometime later the baby boy passed away.....................Year later my parents passed away. I was totally a lone eagle...............I was getting sexual aroused and ready to shoot....... I remember about "being careful" I got limp and the gal went back to her boy friend........Later I discovered it was my parents " good old friend " what want to donate my sperm to her......................

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