Saturday, May 12, 2012

Seeing Lots of the Kids

My son's puppy likes the view from the rotten old boat.
Over a year ago, I wrote about seeing less of my three children after my wife and I separated for the final time.  At that time, getting used to being alone was the biggest adjustment I had to made although I was only alone for a day or two each week.     

Typically,  my son and wife are in constant conflict.  Last week, they had a screaming fight which resulted in him moving out "permanently."   While I know that 15 year old boys aren't always easy to deal with, my son and I rarely have conflict.  My wife just pisses people off all the time, snoops and meddles in her children's private spaces and then gets angry when no one takes her unsolicited and ill-advised advice.

Of course, I was unaware of any of this until my wife phoned to pick him up.   He showed up with duffle  bags of clothing, his carpentry tools, computer, X- boxes, a smallish flat-screen TV and the like. I told him he had to see is mother sometimes and he said, "I'll stay at her house one day a week and that's it!!!"

Despite my concerns of a year ago,  "seeing less of the kids" turned out to be no problem at all.   I quickly discovered that having an evening or two by myself was a blissful respite from the usual routine.   The times I did spend with my kids became more special when we didn't see each other all the time.  It was also nice to have my Special Guy over for a private evening or even an overnight visit without having to make complicated arrangements.

In fact, I am now trying to hard to banish the thought from my mind that I am now seeing "too much" of the kids.  I often have all three of them here at my waterfront home, especially on the weekends and will have all three here for most of the summer.  Just this week alone, I had to turn down hookup opportunities from two sweet 20ish guys this week because I couldn't host.  This won't do!!

For Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday, here are a  few pics from


  1. I'm so glad everything is going so well.

  2. Buddy, Buddy, as a kid with a similiar mom, I DID move out of her house at 15. Moms and sons at that age can be worse than moms and daughters. Yes, I know now that for me it wasn't good for reasons understood by you. But otoh, I couldn't have stayed with her either. Please don't try to force him back. That being said, keep in mind your kids are bright. IF you are going to have one there all the time, and it sounds like you will, accept the fact they know what is going on. They know you are an adult and that you probably like sex. We both know you have some hangups there from reading your blog. My kids knowledge is much fresher than theirs, and even though a bit older, they have asked questions that make me blush. BUT, I am glad, it shows they have a comfort level. It won't be long, before they visit and I will have my arm around a special person. NO, I don't mean inappropriate groping, just the level of affection I used to have with the wife. And I hope not to have the level of tension with him, that I have had with her lately. LOL

  3. Thanks for commenting, Sean!

    Skier: I have no problem telling them that I am dating with all that involves. My middle daughter has known for quite a while and I'd suspect she's told her older sister.

    But given my wife's level of anger, it would be risky for her to find out about my gay social life before our divorce is finalized. But I wouldn't want my kids to be placed in the position of having to keep my secrets, so for now, I wont' be having men over while they're with me.

    "We both know you have some hangups there" I'm sure I have "hang-ups", but I'm not quite sure which one(s) you are referring to. Please specify. I promise, I won't be offended!

  4. ah, family.
    but if it were not for families, I would be out of a job.


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