Monday, March 4, 2013

Online Stalker

Brenton of Aussielicious has started the voting process for his Self-Portrait Challenge.   Check out the fifteen hot men and one woman who submitted pics, especially the cover boy, Handsome Hiram.   I shamelessly voted for myself to ensure that I get at least one vote.  :-)

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I've achieved yet another milestone on my gay journey.... I have my very own online stalker!

I hooked up with "Bruce" who I will now call Stalker Dude on just one occasion over a year ago.  Since then, he has initiated chats with me on both pof.com and squirt.org  five different times, the most recent one being this week. 

These chats quickly became aggressive, vulgar and nasty but it took me a few minutes to realize that it was always the same person.  Each time, he used a new profile, five different ones so far, some of which listed a different city.  

When I blogged about Bruce last year, I was fairly complimentary because he was the first skilled gay guy I'd been with and it was the first time I'd cum in the presence of another man.   But I had no intention of having an second hookup because I wasn't completely comfortable with him.  Bruce:
  • was 50 years old but still in the closet 
  • lived at home with his elderly parents
  • had his bedroom decorated with a sea of Laura Ashley floral prints
  • had poster-sized framed photographs of the family's now-dead poodles with their fur done up in pink ribbons.
  • wasn't a great kisser and had a prickly moustache
  • was somewhat patronizing about my lack of experience with men.
As well, I wasn't particularly attracted to him physically.  When I left his house, I never suggested that I'd message him again nor that I was interested in another hookup.  But in his confused mind, he apparently thought that he had found 'the one.'

The stalker episodes all started out with a chat request from some unfamiliar profile which I usually accepted out of curiosity.  The conversation seemed fairly normal for about the first twenty seconds, then Stalker Dude always got aggressive and started firing questions too quickly for me to anwer:

Stalker Dude:    "What sort of men are you attracted to?
Do you like being fucked up the ass?
How many guys do you have sex with in one week?
Do you hook up with guys in hotels?"

Buddy Bear:  "I think we've met before."

Stalker Dude:  (flipping out and getting aggressive)   "You're just a player!  Out to screw as many guys as possible!!  You and Ron* are just the same!!   
Buddy Bear:   blocks his profile and logs off.

During this week's episode, a guy claiming to be from Toronto started a chat on POF.  But this time,  I recognized Stalker Dude's questioning style at an early stage and said "I think we met a year ago."

Stalker Dude:  (flipping out again) Yes, we met!  Before you started your Fuckfest,  before you started fucking every guy in town!  I know that you moved...  I know you live on  ______ Drive!!

Buddy Bear: blocks his profile and logs off.

Whew!  That was a bit worrisome!  I never told him my exact address but he might be able to get it from one of the (many) men I've entertained at home.  One thing's for sure, if he shows on up on my doorstep, I'm calling the police!

*  Ron was my "Special Guy", the married guy who I was involved with last year who also had hooked up, once, with Stalker Dude.   He had somehow figured out that Ron and I were a couple.

17 comments:

  1. Oh Buddy. Sorry to hear you have a stalker. You're taking it pretty well though. I think you're doing the right thing by blocking the guy at every turn. I'm sure he's got the message that you're not interested, but obviously he's been hurt and out for revenge. Not sure how it works on POF, but on Grindr, you can "report the profile." Not sure what that does exactly. In this case, I'm glad not to be in your shoes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jack! I'm not too worried about it, actually. I know a lot more about Stalker Dude than he knows about me such as the location of his house and his employer.

      There is nothing I did with him that would embarrass me if it became common knowledge or indeed, surprise anyone. And unlike Stalker Dude, I am not in the closet.


      There is a "report the profile" button on POF as well, but I didn't think it would be helpful to use it since he keeps creating new profiles.

      Delete
    2. You should report him. All those profiles can most likely be traced to the same ISP address. Although you are special, I doubt you are his one and only.

      Delete
  2. I voted!
    Now you have more than 1! ;)

    I think I told you about my stalker experience. He was my roommate's ex and blamed me for their breakup. He spray painted my car with "I LOVE SCOTT/I HATE SCOTT" on each side and sent me a letter saying he'd kill me.

    I don't think anything will happen BUT my advice is to document, document, document. Print every email, every web site contact, every fake profile, and every conversation he tricks you into. Write down dates. I only say this because you never know and should anything happen, you have what you need to take care of things. You have kids to worry about and live in a secluded area.

    You could also go on the offensive and threaten to expose him if he ever contacts you again or makes any threats.

    You're a smart man with good instincts. You'll handle this well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sean, for all your excellent advice! The voice of experience!!

      Delete
  3. Be very, very careful... This is the reason I will not even attempt the online hookup sites. Too many crazies out there!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This one sounds like a loony for sure! I agree with Sean. Keep the records, and if necessary, threaten him with exposure.

    IP addresses can be traced, but typically, at least in this country, the behavior has to rise to the level of criminality, and a judge has to issue a subpoena to get an ISP to respond. Then it can take forever. Good luck with your nutcase!

    Peace <3
    Jay

    ReplyDelete
  5. Be careful! This guy sounds like a nut case.

    ReplyDelete
  6. report it, dear buddybear. we don't want you to get hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  7. But I thought *I* was your only stalker! (whimper, whine).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I thought I was the only one! HAHAHAHAHA
      Peace <3
      Jay

      Delete
  8. you still lead one of the most colourful lives in blog land !

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you everyone, for your concern! I'll be careful, I promise!

    ReplyDelete
  10. He's a nut. Take a photo of the discussion on your phone and keep a file (or Print Screen if on desktop). I don't know who Laura Ashley is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the great advice, Jeffrey! Laura Ashley is a designer / Martha Stewart type who specializes in the "English cozy" look, lots of floral prints and frou-frou.

      Delete
  11. The comment that says "thats why I don't use online hook ups" can be said for picking up anywhere- I had the same thing happen from meeting a guy at a bar and have also had a fair share of crazies from random hook-ups etc. You just need to be careful anywhere and I'm lucky to say I met my partner of 8 years who I met online

    ReplyDelete
  12. I know how you feel, I had this guy create a fake profile with my pictures and phone number stating I wanted unsafe sex. Not fun!

    ReplyDelete

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