Sunday, March 10, 2013

Sex with the father of a (former) student....

I blogged last week about my interesting, passionate encounter with Mr. Handsome, the hottie with early-onset Parkinson's Disease.  Well, here's the rest of the story.

Before doing the nasty, Mr. Handsome and I had some lively, sexy chats on over a couple of days.  We both badly wanted to meet each other but I needed, as usual, to assure myself that he had no connection to my school.

There are just four high schools in our small, isolated city.... a small pond on Plenty of Fish!  I have been messaged on gay hookup sites by  students, past and present, fathers of colleagues, retired colleagues and even a closeted teaching colleague, without them knowing who I was.  But by careful questioning, I've usually managed to avoid hooking up with a guy with any connection to my school community.

I  needed to know where Mr. Handsome`s son went to school but he was reluctant (understandably) to divulge that information.  We played a guessing game to narrow it down.
Mr. Handsome:  Is your school on the north side of town?  (strike one!)
Buddy Bear:  Nope!   
Mr. Handsome: Are you with the Catholic Board?  (strike two!)
Buddy Bear:  No!  There are only two public high schools on the south side left to choose from.   
Mr. Handsome:   My son goes to _____________ .  (he was teasing me ...)

Buddy Bear: Your son goes to _______________?

Mr. Handsome:   My son goes to XXX High School!   (strike three!)
 Buddy Bear: Well,  I teach at XXX High School and my son attends grade 11 there.  They probably know each other.  Maybe they're friends!

Mr. Handsome:  Damn, damn, damn!  My son is in the 'enriched programme.'
Buddy Bear: I teach mainly students in that programme.  He's probably in my class!
Mr. Handsome:   FUCK!  Oh, what the hell!!   My son's name is John*   (not his real name)
Buddy Bear:  I don't have any students named John in grade 11.  And I didn't teach grade 10 last year.  So your son never was my student!  Maybe it's okay then.
Mr. Handsome:   I won't tell anyone if we hook up. Never. No one knows I like guys except my ex.
Buddy Bear:  Well, we`re not breaking any rules.  I can be at your house in 30 minutes...

On the school database the next day, I searched all the students named "John" in grade 11.  (Note:  we have access to all parent contact information and use it daily)  One of the Johns had the same address as Mr. Handsome.  Now in full online creeper mode, I did a Google image search of Mr. Handsome's first name with his son's last name.  Yes, it was him all right, pictured there with his son!

OMFG!   Mr. Handsome's son had been my student last year!    Unbenownst to me, John had been my grade 11 class last year but when he was in grade 10.  I must admit, I felt a bit awkward seeing him in the hallway later that day.  John doesn't know: (1) that is father is gay and (2) that I am gay and (3) that his father had sex with me, his last year's teacher.  Here`s the problem: 

  1. If I don`t see Mr. Handsome again, he will assume that he was dumped because of his disability.
  2. I don`t want to tell him this news by must be face-to-face.
  3. The only way I`ll see him face-to-face is for a second hookup.
  4. I want to hook up with Mr. Handsome again, very was so hot! 
Would it be terrible if I hooked up with Mr. Handsome and then afterwards, in the sweet afterglow of gay sex told him, `Hey,  your son was my student last year!`

What to do?  What to do?  A tricky situation!


  1. hook up, but no confession about the student/teacher link. after all, if mr. handsome is out to only 1 person (his ex), mr. handsome also has some secrets.

    besides, will telling mr. handsome this info have any bearing on the sexytimes? NO!

    sometimes one must keep one's mouth shut. ask me how I know this.

    love you! :)

    1. Right on, Anne Marie. I totally, completely agree.
      As for another hookup...that's up to you and him. I don't see why not though.

    2. I agree with Nate on this one, a casual relationship is not one that needs to go too deep into personal areas. Mr. Handsome doesn't remember you as his son's teacher, just leave it at that until the time comes that it springs to his memory.
      Go, have a good time. If you guys are heading toward picking out china patterns and hanging drapes, it would be time to talk... especially when he says, "Hey, I want you to meet my kids".

  2. I don't think he's that concerned as he knew full well you teach at the school, but I think his place is off limits now... :-)

  3. Be honest with him. Tell him you realized that you had in fact taught his son and as you discussed, are not comfortable with that situation.

    Do not have sex first and then tell him, it just wrong for so many reasons. Knowing you, I don't think you could anyway. Since you have already been together and you both have the desire to keep this on DL then why not go again? The only thing is that you should not meet at his house again. The possibility of someone seeing you, coming home unexpectedly or recognizing your car is too great and you'll loose all control of the situation.

    BTW - I think your slut phase is still healthy, strong and vibrant (thank gawd!!!) but I have been noticing a shift. It's not seismic but it's there and I like it for you.

    1. Thanks for the wise advice yet again! I'm wondering about the "shift" you noticed in my hookups. I think you might be correct ... without being completely sure what you are referring to! Is the shift to "making love" to older, more experienced men rather than just sucking any cock in the back seat of my car?

  4. I'm with Sean above, honest is always best I find, but I also feel that if the sex was good, you both enjoyed it, you both want it again and you'll both say nothing of it outside your bedroom, then hey what the hell, it's not hurting anyone else. But that's me, how I'd be, you're not like that I know.

    Anyway, good luck.

  5. Honesty seems to be the best policy :-\

  6. Straight teachers pork their former students' parents all the time. I don't see what the big issue here is. Next time you see Mr. Handsome give him full disclosure then spend a few hours having hot sex.

  7. If you are discreet about this, and that means don't do it at his house, why is this such a big deal?

    1. In my province, teachers are governed under legislation which imposes higher standard of behaviour on teachers than any other profession. These stricter standard applies to every aspect of a teacher's life, whether private or school-related.

      My hookup with Mr. Handsome did not break any codes of teacher conduct. However, it simply wouldn't pass the "sniff test", if it became known by our school community, students, administrators and my fellow teachers. let alone by my wife and family.

      But this just wouldn't look good. I've enjoyed huge support from everyone throughout my coming-out and divorce journey, but this support might quickly disappear if this sort of "sleazy behaviour" became known.

  8. Thanks for all the amazing comments, everyone! I will address some of the points in my next post. But there are two themes which emerged in the comments which resonated with me:

    "Honesty is the best policy."
    "I think his place is off limits now."

  9. I don't see how forming a FWB relationship with a **former** student could qualify as sleazy in anyone's book. I'd talk with Mr. H. candidly and see how HE feels about the situation. Then make a decision together.
    You absolutely cannot dump him without discussion; it would further crush his self-respect and self-worth.

  10. Thank you for the reminder about Mr. Handsome's feelings in all of this. An important correction: I hooked up with PARENT of a former student!!

    A person would have to work in a high school with 1,000 hormone-crazed teenagers to understand the implications if this gay hookup story became common knowledge.

    In a smallish town, EVERYTHING a teacher does in public is under scrutiny. Recently, a younger (single) male colleague was spotted in a local bar drinking a beer and trying to pick up some woman. The entire student body was rocked with gossip. "Did you hear that Mr. _____ was doing such-and-such? OMG!!" Any story, however innocent, would be embellished, mis-reported and would quickly became viral within our school community.

    At the very least, it would be embarrassing to me and in particular, to my son who is in the same grade at my school as Mr. Handsome's son.

  11. First, thanks for visiting my new blog! Like your story. I've only had sex with one of fathers of the students that I taught and at that time he had separated from his wife. I will add you to my blog roll today. LORD PATRICK


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