Cocks and balls on bike seats

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On thin ice

I'm not actually on thin ice at all, either literally or figuratively.  Everything is going extremely well.

It's the title of this funny Youtube video clip of a crazy, hunky, exuberant Norwegian swilling vodka, stripping off most of his clothes and going ice swimming while wearing his skates.  You MUST watch it!!

I'm not a fan of ice swimming although I've done it a few times.  I don't know which is worse, the brain freeze or the heart attack waiting to happen when you plunge in to the icy water.

Also check out this video, of him using a chain saw after drinking vodka.  While this isn't a recommended practice, his videos show the sheer pleasure to be had in skating on beautiful, natural lake ice.... something I've done many times in my life. 

The remaining pictures were taken on me on the ice in front of my house.   Right now, the ice is 1 - 2 feet thick, perfectly safe to drive a truck on, let alone walk on it.   But sadly, skating is not possible because it's snow-covered and full of surface cracks.

DIVORCE UPDATE:
I had my final meeting (!) with my divorce lawyer to sign off on various documents before the court assigns the case to a judge later this week;  my wife had already signed everything she needed go sign.

My lawyer commented yet again on what a pleasure it was to deal with a "mature, sensible" divorcing couple who managed to achieve such a high level of agreement;  a rarity in her practice.   She wished that other couples could see how tremendously damaging an adversarial divorce is to the children involved.

She also said:  "It's just great to see someone who is so happy.  I hardly ever see that here." :-)

Because ours is an uncomplicated, uncontested divorce with no child custody issues, they call it a "desktop divorce."  It will not be conducted in open court.  In fact, neither my wife, myself nor my lawyer will be there;  the judge will simply sign off the documents in his office which might happen in 2 - 3 weeks depending on his / her workload.

Sexting (NSFW)

Slurp! 

Thanks, everyone, for continuing to vote on your favourite bare-assed picture of me.  It's a tight race between #1 and #3!

Today's pictures are from randydave69.tumblr.com.. I think that Welder Dude (who I talk about, below) looks like these hot, furry, masculine guys.

My middle daughter is back in her big university town and my other two kids are here with me, probably for the rest of the week.  It's always very relaxed when they're here as we never seem to get into arguments about anything.  I won't be able to host any sexy men but that's all right.  They'll wait!!

I've rarely experienced the stereotypical teenaged angst and drama with my kids, although I hear there's a lot more anger and conflict when they're at my soon-to-be ex's house. As I well know, she can be pretty bossy and angry but the kids just won't put up with it.

Last night, I had another sweet texted conversation with the masculine, bearded Welder Dude,.   He's a thoughtful young man (22) who lives with his girlfriend but is struggling with a same-sex attraction.  He works out of town during the week at a remote mine site but on weekends, I am sure to receive a late-night text from him.

He  peppers me with detailed questions about my hookups, my coming-our journey, the techniques I use to pleasure a man and how I feel emotionally about the whole thing.  "Were you scared the first time you were with a guy?  The answer:  Yes!  Scared to death!!

As a bonus during our conversations, Welder Dude sends IPhone pics of his hairy muscled chest, beefy thighs and his raging hard-on, the latter when I describe to him how I enjoy running my tongue between a man's lovely foreskin and cockhead.

I feel that I am doing a great public service, helping this young man along in his coming-out journey.  But the reality is, I also want to get into his pants.  I am confident that it will happen, eventually.

 
Here is a meme done by John (Rejected Reality) and Cubby (Patently Quee .)

1. Do you owe anyone a phone call?* Yes, I haven't talked to my best childhood friend for months. Terrible!
2. Do you still have a landline phone?* Yes, a landline is necessary for safety reasons because cell coverage at my home can be sporadic.   My son goes out in the boat to visit friends on an offshore island and it's essential that he can phone home at all times.  Fierce winds and high waves can whip up in minutes and sometimes he's stranded on the island until the weather calms down.
3. When was the last time you looked up a number in the phone book?* I use the phone book at work because it's there.  I don't have a phone book in my house.
4. Do you receive more calls or texts? * I get many hundreds of texts each month.  This is the way that teenagers now communicate with their parents.  As well, my soon-to-be-ex-wife and I do a fantastic job working our way through parenting decisions and  divorce matters by means of texting.
5. Carly Rae made the Final 3 on Canadian Idol. Can you name another cultural import from Canada? * Ryan Gosling,  Ryan Reynolds, Corey Monteith, Seth Rogan . Hotties, all.
6. Where do you listen to the radio most often? Car? Work? Somewhere else? * I listen to CBC Radio at all times in the car.  I also listen to CBC when I'm doing manual work in the house, in the kitchen or elsewhere
7. Is there a domestic chore you excel at?* I'm a fantastic cook, if I do say so myself. 
8. Do you consider yourself competitive?* I'm the least competitive person I know.  I couldn't give a hoot what the other guy has or what he will win.  But I am occasionally competitive with myself;  for example, I usually want to improve my race time, either cross-country skiing or running a marathon, when compared to my previous race.
9. Tell us your superhero name -- as determined by the color of your shirt and an item to your right. For example, Crazy Sam now fights crime as The Light Blue Coffee Mug!* Black Skidoo Helmet!

Toothless blowjob

Thanks to everyone who voted for your favourite picture of me on my February 20th post.   I'll leave the poll open for a few more days and then submit the winner to Aussielicious.

 I've had my share of fantastic hookups with sexy, horny men, mainly in their early 20s.  But on Thursday night, I had a hookup which could only be described as "unfortunate."

I'd been chatting on pof.com with a nice, normal-sounding 47 year-old divorced  tradesman.   Although he said that he was bi and that he did not kiss guys (my #1 requirement for a hookup), he offered to drive some 45 minutes along our winter highways to my house for a late-night hookup.  I agreed.

He was lean but amazingly fit as his profile promised:  5'-5", 130 pounds with a sexy, boyish figure.  But he was rather .... er.... plain-looking with a beaky nose, bucked teeth and a fringe of shoulder-length hair circling his completely bald head.  He looked exactly like Mr. Burns of the Simpsons except with longer hair.

We sat down on my bed to start our fun when he reached into his mouth and removed a full set of false teeth and placed them on the bedside table, ribbons of saliva running onto the table top.  Ewww!!!  Whatever stirring I felt in my cock whithered away.

Generously, Mr. Burns offered to kiss me. "Weird!  Stubble!!", he said.  Although he didn`t enjoy the kissing at all, he was pretty good at it.  But without his dentures, his sunken-in face  reminded me of my grandmother's.   A major boner-killler. 

During his blowjob on me, the feeling of his gums on my cock, I must admit, felt amazing (!!!) but he only did it for a little while.  At this point my erection was mainly gone and it wasn't coming back. 

I did a blowjob on Mr. Burns as well. For a skinny little guy, he had a beautiful above-average length cock which was so fat it made me gag, a rarity for me.    I would have paid money to see that cock wrapped in a Speedo. So hot!!

 I sucked on his cock for a very long time but, to his chagrin, his cock did not go beyond a `semi`  erection.  Mr. Burns said it was probably a side-effect of a powerful prescription drug he was on and that had never happened before.  We tried and tried but it just wasn`t happening.

Eventually, we just gave up and cuddled and had a most interesting conversation about the many similarities in our marriages and hookup experiences.  Mr. Burns had been with his ex-wife, his childhood sweetheart, for over thirty years. But it was her bipolar disorder which led to their divorce since she refused to stay on her meds.

Now, he is looking for another woman but all the ladies our age on pof.com seem to weight 200 pounds!  Mr. Burns also gets lots of messages from men in their 20s (as I do) but is only interested in sucking a cock just every now and then.   He finds the young men highly unreliable as they often do not show up to a hookup. 

He said that his primary goal is to find a woman with a sex drive which was as strong as his;  something his did not have during his marriage.  Mr. Burns then asked "Why do you call yourself myself gay?  Why not bi, after  twenty years of marriage and three children?  I explained to him that I had no desire at all to have sex with a woman although I certainly could "do the deed" if the woman was young, hot and aggressive.  But I just don't want to.

We had a great conversation and I found him an most interesting guy ... but as hookup material, never again!  The main reason:  I don`t think Mr. Burns was really into guys.  I think he was bi but leaning ,more strongly towards women than men. 

Except for his face and hair, Mr. Burns looked exactly like the hotties pictured below.

Poll: Buddy's bare-ass pictures

As most of my regular readers know, I LOVE posting semi-nekkid pics of myself.   I plan to submit one of these six pics to the Aussielicious Photography Challenge: the self - portrait.    Aussielicious was one of the very first sites I visited when I started my coming-out journey so many years ago.

So far, the submissions for the challenge are these:  one, two three/ four, five and six.   I think my pics compare reasonably well with these ones, don't you?  Except for the fact all the other guys are hot and slim, not dumpy and middle-aged like me.

But I can't decide which picture I like the most.  I need help!!

 Please vote for your favourite picture of me in the poll to the right.  I will submit the winner to the Aussielicious challenge.

Pic #1   ↑

↑   Pic #2   ↑

Pic #3   ↑

Pic #4   ↑

Pic #5   ↑

Pic #6   ↑

Well, I Never! (NSFW)

Jim over at Jim’s Stuff posted a meme disclosing a list of things he has never done and asked readers to respond in comments.  He also asked bloggers to post their own version of the meme.

Jim describes it:  "I’m going to list some things that I’ve never done. If a reader has done it, you need to leave a comment stating what you have done… and tell us the story if you want."

All the cool kids  (Cubby , John, Nate and anne marie) are doing it, so here I go!

I HAVE NEVER:

1. Bungee-jumped or sky-dived.
2. Watched NFL or CFL football (on TV or in person)
3. Watched any baseball game on TV.  (I did see the Blue Jays with free tickets but we left after 30 minutes.  BORING!!!)
4. Attended any Bears' event.
5. Had a threesome with a hot heterosexual couple
6. Had sex with a dom.
7. Been sexually pleasured by more than one man at the same time.
8. Had a piercing other than in one ear.
9. Kissed a man in front of my family.
10. Had sex when I was too drunk to know what I was doing.
11. Had sex when the other person was too drunk to know what he was doing.
12. Eaten anything disgusting like insects, cow's blood, monkey's brains or sheep's eyeballs.
13. Had sex with an (adult) man who was younger than my children's age.
14.  Held hands with a man in a crowded public place.
15. Participated in an orgy made up entirely of sexy blogger men;   you know who you are!

Divorce progress

These pictures of hot military men and their doggies are for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.

• My divorce is proceeding without a hitch!  The Central Registry of Divorce in Ottawa issued a clearance to proceed and my wife signed the divorce papers without throwing up any more obstacles.  To my great surprise, she also paid her half of the $1,700 fee.  
• Next week, my Affidavit for Divorce will sent to a judge who should issue a Divorce Order in about a month and a final Divorce Certificate thirty-one days after that.  Whew!
• After an intense couple of weeks, my dating relationship has cooled somewhat.  It's not a question of being a 'dumper' or 'dumpee' as I think the feeling might be mutual.  The friendship still has potential, I think, but I'm not sure how I feel about it nor how to proceed.  I think some mutual, honest conversation is needed.
• The one thing I know for sure is that I'm not ready to settle down with one guy.   The lure of all the hot guys messaging me on pof.com over the past two weeks eventually proved too strong for me to resist. 

• I spent Valentine`s Day evening with a beautiful 22 year old from Toronto, originally from Trinidad, a student at our local university.  He was 6'-7" tall (!!) with brown skin as smooth as satin.  We kissed and cuddled (among other things) for hours.  He was, I think, the best kisser I've ever experienced and had a keen interest in pleasuring men by means of ass play.   :-)
• My charismatic middle daughter is arriving tomorrow from her far-away university for "Reading Week" and I can't wait to see her!
• On Saturday night and on-and-off for the rest of the week, I'll have all three of my children staying with me and all three of our dogs.  I am looking forward to it enormously!   All the horny 22 year old men who want to hook up with me will have to wait.  Sorry, boys!!

Sex questionnaire

These juicy TMI Thursday questions are from Sean of Just a Jeep Guy. Today's pictures are from hothairynastysexy.tumblr.com.

I scored thirty-one "YES" responses, most of then generated in the past eighteen months since I started having sex with men.  Among the "NO" responses, I hope to do around ten of them ASAP."

SEX QUESTIONNAIRE - HAVE YOU EVER:

1. had intercourse?    YES, with quite a few men and only one women .... my soon-to-be-ex-wife.

2. oral sex?    YES, lots!  My favourite thing to do, especially when the other guy whimpers or moans in pleasure.

3. licked an ass?    YES

4. had your ass licked?    YES

5. had sex with someone without knowing their name?    YES, quite often, sorry to say.

6. swallowed cum?    YES

7. practiced bondage or BDSM?    NO but a 35 year-old hottie has repeatedly asked me over to tie him up, among other things.   I hope it happens!

8. had anal sex?    YES

9. had an orgasm from anal sex?     NO

10. had sex while on hard drugs?    NO... and that will never happen.

11. had sex with someone of the opposite orientation?    YES, my ex-wife.

12. been in a threesome?    NO, but I would as long I was the centre of attention.

13. been in a foursome?    NO

14. been in an orgy?     NO

15. been in a gangbang?    NO

16. had sex in public?    YES

17. snowballed?    NO

18. had your toes licked or sucked?    YES

19. licked or sucked someone’s toes?    NO

20. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a day?    YES

21. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a week?    YES, many times.

22. had cyber sex or phone sex?    YES

23. been double penetrated?    NO

24. watched porn?    YES

25. bought a dirty magazine?    YES, in my twenties I bought the odd Penthouse Magazine where pretended to myself that I was looking at the naked women when it really was the men I was interested in.

26. posted nude pictures of yourself on the net?    YES, but no cock shots.

27. let someone video tape you having sex?    NO

28. sex without protection?    NO, assuming you mean anal sex.

29. had someone give you a cum facial?     YES

30. participated in a golden shower?    NO

31. sex with a friend’s significant other?    NO

32. had sex with one of your significant other’s friends or relatives?    NO
   
33. cheated on your significant other?    NO

34. made someone pass out from sex?    NO

35. had your ass slapped during sex?    YES, several times. They couldn't resist it!

36. tasted your own cum?    YES

37. masturbated?    YES, duh!

38. let someone watch you masturbate?    YES

39. showed yourself naked on cam?    YES

40. had a wet dream?    YES but not since I was twelve.

41. been submissive in bed?   NO

42. had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?    YES, often!

43. had sex in a vehicle?    YES, many times.

44. been caught having sex?    YES

45. paid for sex?    NO, but I'd be happy if someone wanted to pay me.

46. used toys during sex?    YES, just getting into them.

47. used food during sex?    NO, but I'd love to using a bit of whipping cream and chocolate sauce

48. enjoyed pain from a little to extreme during sex?    NO

49. been dominated in bed?    NO

50. enjoyed having your nipples licked, sucked, or bitten?    NO, but not from a lack of trying.  My nips seem to be dead.

51. been fisted?    NO, NO, NO, NEVER....

52. been with a cock over 10 inches?    MAYBE.... it was a monster but I didn't have a tape measure.

53. sucked a cock with a pa?    NO

54. been fucked by a cock with a pa?    NO
   
55. dressed in costumes?    NO but I'd be open to it.

56. role played?    NO

57. been to a sex club?    YES, if Steamworks is a 'sex club.'  Maybe it isn't.

58. had sex with a third or with your partner?    NO

59. had sex with a coworker at work?    NO, but I think about it constantly.  Woof!

60. had pity sex?    YES, with an older married dude who I wasn't really into.

61. gotten a std?    NO

62. had sex with someone 25 years or more younger than you?    YES, many times.  I've had sex most often with 22 year old guys (28 years younger than me!) always at their request.

63. had sex with someone 25 years or more older than you?    NO, sex with a 75 year old? Ewww!

64. had sex with a famous person?    NO

65. had sex on a plane?    NO
   
66. had sex on a train?    NO

67. had sex in a movie theater?    NO

68. had sex involving scat?    not on purpose

69. used a vegetable?    NO

70. had sex in an open bar?    NO

71. had interracial sex?    YES

72. had sex with a Mormon?    NO

73. had sex with someone who had a prosthetic?    NO

74. had sex with a ex-convict?    NO

75. had sex with a blogger?    NO!   All the hotties are already taken!  Dr. Spo, Cubby, Sean and Jeffrey, to name a few.  Darn!!

Phone sex

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Rugged men

Here are some sled dogs with their handsome mushers for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.  This week, several teams of sled dogs were at my school giving rides to students. 

The dogs who were just wild with excitement as they were being harnessed.  Nothing gives them greater pleasure than pulling a sled ...  it's what they live for.   As a bonus, the mushers were rugged, masculine and outdoorsy men;   my favourite type of guy!

Here are a few random thoughts from this week:

• My new classes are going exceptionally well. Most of my students are in an "academically-enriched" stream and so are there to learn;  not to be rude, vandalize or otherwise cause problems.  No behaviour or attendance issues here!   It's an enormous pleasure to be in class every day with such talented young people!
•  In my grade 10 class there are one or two very obviously gay boys.  They are of the geeky - nerdy variety but are so darned cute that I have to stop myself from calling them "sweetie" in class.
• It gives me the greatest pleasure to see the confidence of these young gay men and how comfortable they (and the entire class) seem to be with their sexuality.  The future looks bright!
• One of the grade 10 boys seems to be developing a crush on me;  no doubt about it!  It's an occupational hazard which happens fairly often to me.  It's sweet and somewhat flattering but I take care to keep my distance in these situations.

• My gr. 12 class is made up entirely of young men, ages 17 and 18.  I always find students who are young men much easier to deal with than young women;  they're generally happier, less manipulative, complain less and are on much less of an emotional roller coaster. 
• Many of my grade 12 students are of the hunka-hunka-burning-love variety.  In fact, they remind me of the 22 year old men who I routinely hook up with.  Yikes!  Professional boundaries!!  It's a worrisome thought which would never have occurred to me three years ago, before I came out to myself.   But I will never do anything inappropriate with a student.
• I've had a sudden upswing in messages this week on pof.com from 'straight' guys thinking they might have a M2M attraction.  The men are 21, 23, 35 and two who are 25, all of whom claim to have no experience with men.   One is engaged and another is living with his girlfriend.  It must be something in the water.  Given that I'm not sure where my dating relationship is going at the moment, I'm considering these offers seriously.

Self-image (NSFW)

I imagine I look like this......

In the mirror, I look like this..

After doing some lane-swimming yesterday at our community pool, I caught a glimpse of myself in in the change-room mirror.  What I saw was a torso that looked like the picture, above right.   It was a bit jarring and fairly depressing because I had an idea that I looked more like the guy, above left.

I know there are people who find older, hairy guys with big bellies attractive but I most certainly do not.  Sorry!  It didn't help that most of the men around me were hot including some amazingly-fit men in the 55 - 65 age range.

I suppose the setting didn't help;  the harsh, unforgiving fluorescent lighting, bare concrete floors and walls really accentuated my pasty, flabby flesh.  My torso picture from last week didn't look that bad but it was taken with the advantages of soft candlelight and a flattering pose


In the past couple of months, I've been trying to lose some of the twenty or more pounds gained during my three-year coming-out / divorce drama.   Starting at my heaviest weight of 195 pounds at Christmas, I weighed in at 185 pounds several weeks ago.

I did this by walking daily, four miles or more, and watching my diet very strictly:

1. measuring portion sizes
2. limiting my eating between meals
3. eating mainly vegetables  (steamed green beans, anyone?)
4. reducing fat;  butter especially
5. limiting the amount of meat, sweets and carbs eaten

 But in the past two weeks, I fell off the weight-loss wagon for various reasons:

1. Stopped daily walking because of our bone-chilling -30 C temperatures
2. Ate in restaurants more often because of my new dating activities
3. Spent several days at home marking exams, preparing report cards and (over-) eating as I worked to meet some crushing deadlines.
4. My 16 year old son had been living with me quite a bit recently, so I cooked (and ate) many of his favourite foods such as pizza, burgers, home-baked bread, apple crisp and poutine.  Horrors!

Just a moment ago, I got very brave and stepped on the scale;  190.4 pounds.  Depressing!!!   Starting right now, I'm back on the fitness wagon again.  Wish me luck!

Wrestlers groping

I find these pictures of wrestlers groping each other just amazing.    Do these straight guys ever stop to think that they`re feeling up their opponent`s manly bits? Is there any pleasure or pain involved?

They remind me of myself .... well, except for the muscles, the aggression, the manly physiques and the skin-tight singlets accentuating their amazing packages.    I mean, I never turn down an opportunity for some "hand-on-package" action.

When I see men in public, I have an irresistible urge to fondle their bulges especially if they`re hot.  But of course, I restrain myself.... it's a forbidden pleasure.

I only get to indulge when I`m making out with a hot guy.  Even during a simple kissing session, my hand travels south involuntarily as though it has a mind of it`s own.

When I'm driving in my car with a guy I've picked up, I invariably will place my hand on his inner thigh with my fingers curling down towards his package.  When making out, it`s almost a compulsion for my hand to travel up his inner thigh to cup  his package. Then I reach deep down between his legs to caress his ass crack.  The funny thing is, I`ve never had a guy ask me to stop doing this, even the "straight" married guys. 

It`s the masculine straight guys who seem to like the ass fondling best of all and will often lift their hips to provide easier access or ask me to step it up notch and insert a finger.   It's this desire for ass play which leads me to question how straight they really are.