Sunday, July 22, 2012

50th birthday

The days leading up to my 50th birthday were pretty awful;  the worst I'd experienced in a long time.  First, I spent much time arranging the referral to the leading prostate cancer centre in Canada.  It was very emotional for my whole family with our collective memories of my last extremely serious bout with cancer.  Been there, done that!

I was near tears as I observed my father and brother galvanized into action, scrambling on very short notice to get hard copies of their prostate cancer history which were required by the Princess Margaret.  I might not get the referral if my prostate problems and family history are not considered serious enough by their standards.

Second, my wife picks this time (of course!) to resume her erratic behaviour and try to renege on our mediated separation agreement,  demanding that I pay her spousal support essentially forever, despite the fact that our salaries, pensions and career paths are identical.    The bug up her ass results from the fact that she's trying to get access to my parents considerable assets, directly or indirectly, should I inherit or receive anything from them via direct transfer.  She doesn't seem to get it that my parents will NEVER... NEVER.. allow this to  happen.  They`re prepared to disinherit me rather than see her get a penny.  She doesn`t understand that she has no support among her friends, family or even children in all her aggressive actions against me.

As it turned out, she reversed her reversal the next day and agreed to go back to our original mediated agreement.    Her best friend had intervened and convinced my wife of the unfairness of her demands, how she had reached the limit of her greed.  There simply was no more money for her to take.

I headed home from my doctor in despair;  I just can`t do this any more!  I can`t go on!   I knew my parents` were coming over with my birthday present but I considered asking them to cancel:  I did not want to see anyone, did not want to talk to anyone.  

I arrived to a surprise party which had been planned by my three teenagers for a couple of months.  The disaster-area of my house and yard had been tidied up somewhat and my place was awash in food, drink and friends and relatives, some of whom I hadn`t seen for a very long time.

Wow!  What an emotional roller coaster!  Overwhelming!!   The party was fantastic.  I ate and drank more than my share and sampled the various birthday cakes that arrived complete with homemade ice cream, hand-cranked during the party.   Even better than the party itself was my kids' excitement, giddiness even, over their successful party planning. They'd pulled it off!

Lots of great pics were taken but sorry, there are none that I'm willing to post....






17 comments:

  1. Yay for your kids!

    Also yay for your folks, your brother, and your wife's friend.

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  2. How lovely and loving was that party! I hope it gave you a huge lift and you know I wish you well through this new prostate process.

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  3. Buddy, you need a hug. A big bear hug. Close your eyes and think of me giving you one.

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  4. Thanks for commenting everyone and for all your good wishes. Cubby, yes I'd love to feel you poking... er... hugging me.

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  5. Hooray for your kids!!! What an amazing gesture.

    I hope that the party helped lift your spirits!
    (And... belated Happy Birthday!)

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  6. Belated Happy Birthday! Sounds like an oreo - great start terrible middle, great ending.

    Fingers crossed.

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  7. Happy Birthday to you!!!!
    Can I blow out the candle?
    Many happy returns of the day
    So happy for you that the kids were able to surprise
    you and give you some happiness in the midst of your despair

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  8. Happy Birthday and Best Wishes and Huge Congratulations on your kids, you did good raising them!

    I generally don't like Surprise Birthday Parties, but sounds like your party hit just the right notes.

    Glad to hear you had the tongue firmly in cheek. I hear too many guys who worry that they're sluts and it makes me crazy.

    Prayers continuing for a succesful trip to the Princess Margaret.

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  9. What great kids! And happy birthday to you!!!

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  10. Sorry I'm slow off the mark, my friend. However, my tardiness does not reflect the sincerity of my best wishes to you for now and for your ENTIRE future. You deserve them 'cos you keep so many of us entertained - and all for free! Good luck, pal.

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  11. I'm sorry to hear that the beginning of the day was so miserable, but there's a real blessing in what your kids did for you. Happy half century! I hope things start looking up soon.

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  12. What a stressful series of events. My partner turned 50 earlier this year and I wish you some of his luck. He's been doing great and mostly drama-free.

    Belated birthday wishes.

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  13. anne marie in phillyJuly 23, 2012 at 7:56 PM

    50 is FABULOUS, dear buddybear! now take the next 50 years and throw caution to the wind!

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  14. Now this is a proper 50th birthday post - although I too am sad it was not stellar.
    Still, I wish you the best decade as the most good so far.

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  15. Hugs Buddy. My thoughts are with you!!

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  16. Sounds like a rocking 50th. Here's to a great decade of strength, fun, love, and fantastic sex!

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  17. Thanks for your best wishes, everyone!

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