There were three main stressors:
Drama #1: Last Tuesday evening, I received what I thought was an example of homophobic cyberbullying, complete with naked pictures and sent to my school e-mail account. I was more upset about it than I let on because it was so clearly sent by a student in one of my classes.
I alerted my teacher's union president, principal and department head, all of whom were shocked and supportive of me. Countless e-mails were exchanged. My principal offered two choices: (1) ignore it or (2) investigate fully and I chose the latter.
This moved the whole affair to our Board Office where a superintendent became involved and the head of computer services launched an investigation. After some days ... surprise!!.... they discovered that google would not provide information on the sender but did offer them the option of deleting the sender's gmail account which I declined, for now.
In the meantime, I googled the gmail address which lead me to various gay porn and self-pic sites. The sender had used the same gmail address as his login! Not very smart!!
Then, a light bulb went off: "OMFG! This wasn't sent by a questioning straight boy... the sender had to be an experienced and out gay guy." A straight boy wouldn't know what "breeder" meant and wouldn't be logging into these hard-core gay sites.
Then it hit me! It was sent by Sam, the student who did the interpretive dance in class which I blogged
- the e-mail address starts with "dan".... sort of a code with some letters shifted on the keyboard to "sam."
- some of the letters in his last name appear in the e-mail address, but with other vowels inserted between.
- Sam just turned 18 last month; the oldest student in the class, hence the "Of Age ;)" comment.
- His body type exactly matches the naked pictures; hispanic colouring, shorter than me and stout.
- Sam sits front row centre in class and is clearly infatuated with me.
- He thanked me last week for my comment on his mid-term report card: "A pleasure to have in class."
I had to discuss all of this gay stuff yet again with my new principal, a straight family man who I barely know. Our plan: I will try and find more evidence to support my suspicion and if I'm successful, the principal will have a serious talk with Sam early next week. The drama unfolds.
Drama #2: We had a run of cold weather this week, -34 C (-22 F) which was too much for the water line running to my well. The line froze and we've been water-less since Friday morning. That sucks big time!
The dirty dishes and laundry are piling up, but we've been able to use the toilet by hauling up pails of water, two pails per flush! That is getting old real quick. I've been working non-stop thawing pipes and if I'm lucky, we may have water flowing today.
Drama #3: In the background of all this is an approaching blow-out with my ex-wife regarding kids' expenses which I haven't blogged about; I've actually been losing sleep over it.
But there are only five more school days until my Christmas vacation.... two weeks off! Woo-hoo!!
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Have you tried showing the pipes these pics. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for the kid, since you have a good idea of what this really is then maybe treat as such. Maybe make it a teachable moment. Respond with an email that combines 1. knowing who sent it (easy let down) and 2. the same (too) polite and considerate response you'd give on POF or Squirt. Some thing like - "Is this a joke or insult? I find come-ons like this distasteful. Please don't contact me again." You get the idea. Of course run it by your bosses first. Maybe you can get some advice from one of the gay groups.
GOOD LUCK!
That's the approach I use when I'm propositioned on squirt.org or pof.com by a student (or once, a closeted colleague). But in these cases, the other person didn't know who I was.
DeleteBut this sort of e-mailed communication from a teacher to a student is strongly discouraged and I've already been told not to reply to the e-mail.
I second this approach. You can NOT email back at this point. It would undermine you with the authorities. Once you go to them, you have to follow their guidelines. But I hope they don't come down too hard on the student. It sounds like a misjudgment on his part. He is only 18
DeleteI feel for you. This situation must be super awkward, especially to discuss with your boss!
ReplyDeleteAwkward is right! And I can't help but think that he will think of me in the light of this incident for years to come.
DeleteYIKES... let's hope this week is a better one!
ReplyDeleteI hope so! I've thawed the pipes and the water is now flowing. Woo-hoo!
DeleteIt's -27 right now but today, the forecast calls for a balmy -10 C (14 F).... practically balmy.
:(
ReplyDelete{{{{{hugs}}}}} to my buddybear. talk dirty to the water line; perhaps that will get it flowing!
Thanks! **hugs back at you**
DeleteI hope the principal is sensitive to Sam. Yeah, he's hanging out on gay porn sites, etc., but I suspect he's pretty confused since he's coming on to you.
ReplyDeleteFind some heat tape and wrap those lines good, then cover them with insulation! I sure hope there isn't a split pipe when you finally get them thawed out.
Maybe the blow up with the ex won't be too too bad. Cross your fingers. And yeah, 5 more days of work, then off for 16 days! I can't WAIT!!!
Peace <3
Jay
Thanks Jay! Yes, I hope / expect that the principal will be empathetic. But unless we find solid evidence that it actually was Sam, the principal won't be speaking to him at all.
DeleteOur winter temperatures can dip to -40 C (which is also -40 F). We know all about heat tracing!
Jay got to you with the heat tape idea before I did, but how far from the house is the well. and how deeply is the line buried, or does it run on the surface?
ReplyDeleteMy thought on the Sam business is that his being 18 makes some of this easier in that the parents don't necessarily have to be involved; he's an adult even if he didn't act like one in this instance. My thought on a response to him is different from Sean's in that I would suggest an informal conference with Sam, you, your principal, and another person, perhaps a counselor if the school has one. Informal, but with witnesses present, and you get to say what you want to him and the principal mentions that he's sure Sam can understand how such a contact makes things awkward for you, etc. If being treated as an adult doesn't work with him, the counselor is there to approach him from a different direction.
I'll address the technical points of my waterline on my next post. It's a challenging situation due to our bedrock here.
DeleteYes, our school's administrators are keen on setting up these circle discussions to deal with conflicts: "restorative" or "reparative" conferencing, I forget the name. I think they're a good idea.
But for now, we don't actually have hard proof that it was Sam who did it. I might just have to ask him directly.
Trust you solve that problem soon! Have a great break over Christmas! Hope you can thaw those pipes! Hugs, Patrick
ReplyDeleteThanks.... the pipes are thawed after working all weekend on them. I wish the other problems were so easily solved!
DeleteI too say YIKES. I guess the cold you are used to and the family matter will pass somehow but the drama at school sounds the most ominous . Ouch.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dr. Spo. I agree. I am just heading off to work (it's Monday a.m.) and I have a knot in my stomach at the prospect of having to deal with the "Sam" incident.
DeleteAnd you're correct in that i am well used to the cold. I've lived here all my life ... and my family origins are from the farthest northern area of Europe. .... I'm just not keen on temperatures colder than -25 for prolonged periods of time.