Sunday, September 15, 2013

Celebratory story of transgendered Alberta boy

For the first fifty years of my life, I knew nothing at all about transgendered people.  Then at our local Pride celebration three months ago, I ran into Lisa, a young woman who I had hired as a painter two years previously.  

But it turned out that Lisa is now a trans-man named Ethan, part-way through his transition.  The next day, Ethan contacting me (last paragraph of this post) to have coffee with him.  I never did blog about our coffee date but now consider myself to be his supportive friend;  we exchange occasional texts and have met once or twice for coffee.
Ethan helped me understand that as a trans-man, he had been "a man, trapped in a woman's body."  Growing up, Ethan (as Lisa) assumed that she was a lesbian because she was attracted to women.  He explained that gender identity is quite separate from sexual identity and that most trans-men are in fact NOT gay (ie:  attracted to men) but are in fact attracted to women.  It's complicated!

Transgendered people can face a much harder life than gay or lesbian people and routinely encounter discrimination, harassment and physical abuse.  Transgendered people face the likelihood of rejection by their families, employers and the community at large and even from within the LGBTQ community itself. 

Trans-man and trans-women in other countries are even killed due to their gender / sexual orientation.  Ethan had the firm belief that trans-men have a much harder time being accepted and are at a much higher risk than trans-women.... and I believed him without fully understanding why.

I strongly urge everyone to watch these two CTV news clips about a grade six transgendered boy in Alberta and his incredibly supportive family.  It's an inspirational story and one which makes me proud to be a Canadian.

Wren Kauffman's Transformation | CTV Edmonton News (6 minutes)
The day-to-day life of a transgender child outside of home | CTV Edmonton News (4:40 minutes)

If you have 22 minutes to spare, I'd also encourage you to listen to the Kauffman family being interviewed in CBC radio.  I got teary-eyed as I listened to it while driving to work last week.  As the family disclosed, it was in fact an intervention by Wren's little sister which finally convinced their parents that Wrenna didn't just want to be a boy but he actually was a boy.

ps:  By the way, I find Wren's Dad very attractive. 


  1. As I have said before, I feel very lucky to hang out an "alternative life style" bar. I have learned more about the LGBT family that way. "Deanna" the transwoman bartender was so supportive along with her group (Ladies of the Blue Ridge) that I have a special place in my heart for them. And yes, you are right, being gay is not easy, but being trans is even harder.

    1. Good to hear from you here, skier -- I miss hearing from you on your blog.

  2. That's bull*^^&(&).

    Most transgenders are not attracted to their own sex. They are queer who can't handle it. So, they switch to live a "normal" life.

    Don't buy the lies. Sick, sick, this whole transgender stuff.

    1. Wow! This is the first really negative, crazy comment in nearly three year's blogging! Thank you for making my day!

      I would like you to answer these questions:
      (1) Have you ever met and spoken to a transgendered person?

      (2) Have you ever spoken to a psychiatrist or a medical doctor who specializes in issues of sexual identity?

      (3) If you are so disgusted by "queers" and transgendered folks, why are you reading a gay blog like mine?

      (4) Do you think the Wren (the boy in the story) had the maturity and cognitive function to be able to formulate the "lies" at the age of 2 regarding his gender preference?

      I await your answers with eager anticipation.

  3. Best point you made Buddy was in #3. I would be surprised if you get any answers.

  4. 1) Not to my knowledge (you never know for sure when you visit places like West Hollywood) and I have no interest.
    2) Ditto! But, I have seen interviews with them and the word "hack" comes to mind.
    3) Not disgusted by all queers, just most. You seem a decent guy, after all, even if a little misguided. Disgusted by all transgenders and this is the first post I've seen on this site about them. I would not intentionally visit a site with transgenders, travestites, drag performers -- virtually any attempt to emasculate the human race. Sick, sick.
    4) I think it is child abuse to even consider modifying the gender of a human being before he/she hits his/her sexual maturity (e.g., becomes an adult), with the only exception being those born hermaphrodites where the parents may have made a terrible mistake and only found out after the fact.

  5. By the way, my statement "Most transgenders are not attracted to their own sex" was probably poorly worded.

    I meant they are not attracted to the opposite sex. By transitioning to the "opposite sex" they can have "queer" relationships that are not, on the surface, queer anymore.

    You are right. It can get "complicated."

  6. Hey anonymous! I didn't actually think you'd answer my questions, so I thank you for doing so and in a civil manner.

    But I'm still not sure why you're visiting my site? To read the ramblings of a 51-year-old gay man? To look at all the cock pictures I post? Given your views on gay people, I assume that you identify yourself as straight.

  7. Trans-gender have been killed in the U.S., too. No matter where it happens, it's sad. Sexual identity is not something one chooses; in order to complete the process, one must go through psychological major counseling, and live openly as the gender for a minimum of 1 year, before any surgery will be considered. It is not an easy process and I can't imagine anyone going through it just to hide sexual orientation - which is not something one chooses either.

  8. I will respond to the last two posts since they are kind of related.

    I completely agree that nobody chooses their sexual orientation. But, whatever that sexual orientation may be, one does choose how to live it.

    I do self identify as a person of homosexual orientation, the same age as Buddy Bear, ironically.

    But, other than being attracted to (very few) men, I find very little about them compelling. And, since I don't think a great sex life without anything else in common is sustainable, I choose to be celibate.

    I like visiting this site because whatever nonsense your are espousing at any given moment, you write very well. This is rare in the cyber world, trust me. And, I love to hear about your balancing act of being a responsible father and a slave to your sexual passions.

    You keep defending your choice of (quoting Oscar Wilde), "yielding to temptation" whenever you can make time for it, yet I sense a great pain present when you lament not having that special someone.

    It is my hope that, at some point, you will achieve true sexual maturity and realize there is no short cuts to true love. You have to stop going for the "quick fix" and invest some time -- and your heart -- to find that person.

    And, trust me, it will NEVER be found at the end of a trick's 8" dick. It never does -- regardless of one's orientation.

    Take care, Buddy Bear, and God bless.

  9. I have to ask a question here. While it is your choice to be celibate, why do you have a problem with others who choose not to be? Why sit in judgement? Granted there is something to be said for not being too available, but it does seem that when the two people involved are both male, there are different dynamics then when one is female. Women for example seem to be more possessive. Even if they don't want you, they don't want anyone else to have you. Men seem much more willing to understand the difference between love and sex. And act accordingly


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