Unwanted online attention

On my last post, I expressed some discouragement about coming out in mid-life and having to negotiate my Brave New Gay World at the ripe old age of 51.   Thanks for all the supportive comments, everyone!

One comment came from a early 20s gay guy living in London, Kenn-do, who writes the blog King of My own Land.   Like all hot, young, gay guys living in a major centre, he is bombarded by online messages from older guys, trolling for sex, many of whom won't take "not interested" for an answer.  It must be exasperating for young guys to receive hundreds of explicit and unwanted online proposals.

Several times per day, I receive online messages from men who I'm not interested in sexually.  I generally turn down proposals from cross-dressers, trans-men, those wishing to engage in watersports, tops with monster cocks, men in their 60s and extremely overweight and hairy bears.  But I am I'm re-thinking my views on some of those categories.

I try very hard to be as polite online as I am face-to-face.   I live in a smallish city with an even smaller gay community and I don't want to get a reputation for being rude or cruel. You never know when  you'll need a friend.  In fact, I've become real-life friends with several of the guys I turned down sexually. 

I respond to all these wanted messages with a "No thank you"  or "Sorry, I'm not interested," followed by a brief explanation. That's where the exchange should end.  In the vast majority of the cases, the other guy will respond with one final message, thanking me for my honesty.  But for a young guy who receives hundreds of unwanted messages, such a typed-out rejection would be too time-consuming; ignoring or blocking them probably would be more efficient.

Kenn-do also apologized for using words such as "troll" and "creeper" in his descriptions of these older men. I find you (through your writing) to be intelligent, thoughtful and mature beyond your years.  But, as every older person knows, we age with frightening speed and Kenn-do, you will be an "old troll" before you know it!   Just sayin' ... 

This week, I have received repeated "let's meet" messages from two different guys in their 60s despite a firm "not interested" comment from me.  It's awkward to be constantly receiving messages from them at all hours of the day or night and on different hookup sites.  Rather than blocking them, I am now ignoring their messages.
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I have learned much during my 2.5 years on the gay hookup sites.  I hope that will never be accused of  being an online creeper because  I NEVER initiate messages online to guys of any age, although I admit, my views on this might change as I get older.  I  get more than enough attention from guys seeing me out online.  Also, I avoid a lot of online rejection because clearly, the men are already interested in me if they choose to send a message.  

On occasion when I get dumped online, I never persist sending repeated messages to re-establish contact.  I send one message only and if the guy is interested, he will let me know.  Repeated messaging is just annoying, stalker-ish and in the end, needy and pathetic.
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Rude awakening

During my exciting eight days in Toronto, my profiles on GPS-enabled sites such as grindr and squirt.org were a-buzz with offers from hot guys of all ages.  The men included  a couple of nineteen-year-olds, several in their 20s, with the majority in their 30s or early 40s.

Fairly often, mutual work schedules, hosting difficulties and travel logistics prevented a meeting, but for the most part,  hookups were extremely easy to arrange.

My biggest discovery was that the Toronto airport hotels were a virtual Sodom and Gomorrah of gay hookups ... all those horny flight attendants, pilots, and closeted, married businessmen on stop-overs!  From the comfort of my hotel room, the GPS would indicate that some Hookup Guy was "a few steps away" and in fact, he was!..... usually across the hall, one floor away or in the hotel across the street.  Exciting!  And convenient!

My return to my smallish, remote town has been a rude awakening in the extreme:  I'm now receiving one-tenth of the messages that I did in Toronto.   The vast majority of them have been heavier, older guys in the 55 - 65 age range.... the sort of guys I'm really not attracted to.

 One particularly unattractive 60ish guy (who I had coffee with this winter) messaged me persistently on both squirt and grindr.  He proposed an overnight trip in his 30-foot boat to his cabin on an island some forty miles offshore.  Finally, I had to get sharp with him and told him to stop messaging me.  I would never feel comfortable going off with him, with no easy means of escape.

To make matters worse, I haven't had a message from a 22 year old in months!   I miss them so!

However, I'm not completely without offers.  In the three days I've been home, I've had three interesting coffee dates, one so-so hookup with a deeply closeted, 44 year old Italian construction worker and arranged a date with Spanking Dude tomorrow.  More on some of this later.

To further compound my Blah! mood, I received this private e-mail from a blog reader who said:

"I just get the sense your random hook ups seem like a desperate attempt to make up for lost time -- trying to recapture your lost gay youth."

 



While I wouldn't have phrased it as cruelly as that, there is a certain amount of truth to the comment.  I read blogs written by young 'uns like kenn-do on the exciting life of a young gay guy who said:  "One thing I've definitely realized in the gay world, being young is definitely a huge perk", and  I'm reminded how discouraging it is to be fumbling my way through this Brave New Gay World at the ripe old age of 51. *

 

*yes, it was my birthday last week.

 

Worst... threesome... ever

I had many, many sweet times with many fantastic men during my week in Toronto.... and some which were not so great.  On my last day, I was contacted on squirt.org by an older guy, 58, whose picture showed beautiful fat cock and a very hot torso: lightly muscled, lean, lightly-furred and with a slight hint of abs.

He proposed a threesome with his live-in boyfriend, 32.   I said, "Yes, count me in!" but made the huge mistake of not finding out the particulars of the boyfriend.

A, short time later, I was greeted at the bus stop by the older of the two guys, a dude with a sexy Hungarian accent.  He was quite handsome with a beautiful, trim body and a friendly, welcoming manner.

In the nice low-rise apartment, I chatted with his boyfriend, a sweet-faced lad who was very large .... +300 pounds at least.  Yikes!   After too much small talk, I reminded them that my flight was leaving in 3.0 hours and shouldn't we get down to business?

We didn't move to the bedroom but Hungarian Dude and I just started kissing on the couch while The Large Boyfriend started sucking my cock. Hungarian Dude was a fantastic kisser;  passionate and a 'moaner' and a nice bulge was developing in his 32-waist jeans.  Nice! 

Then, the Large Boyfriend took his clothes off and kneeled on the opposite couch, spread out his cheeks with his asshole pointing hopefully in my direction.  OMFG!!   I've said before that I don't mind being with overweight, younger guys, but again OMFG!  With his generous pelt of back and ass hair, he looked like a gorilla!

His ass was the fattest, hairiest, grossest thing I'd ever seen in my life.  The view into his cavernous asshole just disgusting!

There was an awkward several minutes as The Large Boyfriend looked around at me expectantly while his boyfriend and I made out.   I told him:  "I'm sorry, I can't do anything with you. I just can't. I should have talked about what was going to go down here before I came here."

Large Boyfriend said:  "Thank you for articulating how you feel.  You're very honest.  Very few guys will do that."  He picked up his clothes, went into a back bedroom and closed the door.  I felt terrible for rejecting him from our threesome in his own home, but he seemed an intelligent, articulate young man and probably had experienced this before.

Hungarian Dude and I continued with a very passionate but short hookup on the couch, negotiating what we were willing to do as we went along.  I wanted badly to top him but he said he rarely bottomed.   He wanted to top me but I refused;  his cock was on the "too big" side and I needed longer than five minutes to get warmed up.  I finished my blowjob on him which I said was 'the best ever'..... while he did his best with a hand job on me, but I didn't cum.

Afterwards, he walked me to the bus stop and hugged me good bye.  A really classy guy!   I told him to pass my apologies again to the young man;  I just felt terrible about possibly hurting his feelings.

Debauched, hedonistic and self-destructive lifestyle

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Hookup in a garden shed

Wow! It's been four days since I've blogged!  Since I left home at 4:00 am on Tuesday, I've been on the fly ever since;   working, visiting Church Street or other gay Toronto hotspots, hooking up or trying to arrange hookups.

I'm in Toronto for eight days, hired by a temp agency in an education field, but we were specifically told not to blog, Facebook or tweet about it.   All expenses are paid by them; airfare, hotel and food, and salary is pretty decent as well, so it will help a little with my present cash flow problem.  The day-long training was pretty stressful but now I'm getting into the swing of the work.

A few highlights so far:
To escape the humidity and heat (44 humidex), I spent several hours on the 'gay section' of Hanlan's Point clothing optional beach.  During my previous visits to Hanlan's (May 2013 and September 2012) I was overwhelmed by being surrounded by hot, naked gay men.  These visits happened out side of the main beach-going season when it was cooler, so I think there was a larger proportion of hard-core, nudist gay men there.

Tuesday's beach visit was a bit disappointing.  The beach was packed but around half the people there were young women, many topless.  They were very attractive and I admired their free spirits, but I have no interest in looking at boobs.

There were lots of really fit gay men in their 20s and 30s there but the majority weren't naked.  Boys, you all have balls, why don't you use them and take your shorts off!  As a compensation prize, all the gay guys wore sexy swimwear;  skimpy, bulge-enhancing, colourful of the 'speedo' style.  In some ways, this was almost hotter than seeing them naked.

 I set up a Grindr account for my visit using only a pic of my worn-out face.   Grindr has a GPS locater is very cool, especially in the hotel.  "Hot dude X" is 50 feet away."  

I've been swamped .... swamped I tell you!.... with messages from hot,  young guys of every colour, and every one of them is looking for a Daddy.  There does not seem to be any old farts (50 year olds like me) on Grindr at all.  I am by far the oldest guy I've seen on the site.

I've only received messages from guys in the range 19 - 30.   Just over half have been from Asian dudes in their early 20s who I all turned down.  What a gay stereotype!  Old white guy with an Asian twink half his age.

Another big, black dude "40 feet away", with a cock like my forearm messaged me with two works:  "room number?"   I blocked him.  lol   But I did accept a sweet hotel visit from a nerdy-sweet, skinny 25 year old who looked like me many decades ago.   But my most notable Grindr success was a very late-night hookup (1:00 am) with an sweet Italian construction worker in a small metal garden shed in his parents' backyard of million-dollar home.  The shed was equipped with a leather love-seat, flat screen TV but no air conditioner.

It was one of my hottest hookups ever, temperature-wise (with the extreme heat alert) and with the sexiness factor.  Here are his details:

• Italian construction worker, 6'-0"
• Body type:  fat-free, muscular, lean and sinewy.  HOT!
• Lightest dusting of body hair with a treasure trail snaking down his lean torso
• Skinny, shapely ass
• Handsome, scruffy face
• Major "Daddy Complex"
• Monster cock .... nine inches, at least, the biggest I'd ever seen in real life.
• Lives at home with his parents and younger siblings all of whom were in the house
• Claimed to be bi, but I'm absolutely certain that he's full-blown gay
• He still still hasn't come out... to himself, let alone his family.

I could not convince him to to come to my hotel room, 10 km away.  He told me he just wouldn't be comfortable doing that ... and in fact, wasn't comfortable with hooking up with me anywhere.  But his passion and horniness won the day. 

OMGF.... he was the most passionate man I've ever been with, with a pent-up hunger for man sex!  Fantastic kisser!   Responsive!  Vocal!  Insatiable! Craving skin-on-skin contact.

The love seat filled up most of the shed and what little room remained was filled with watering cans, gardening tools and the like.   So when he begged me to take his bottom virginity, it didn't go well.

For one thing, his bottom was far to tight for me and there wasn't room to maneuver into the necessary position or to even straighten out.  The temperature in the shed was around 100 F, 100% humidity so by the time, gallons of sweat was pouring off of us.  Slippery when wet!  So sexy!

With regret, I left at 2:00 am because I had to get up at 7:00 to commute to my job.   I invited him for some sweet, air-conditioned sexytime in my hotel room on Saturday but he may or may not be comfortable with that idea.  Most unusally for me, I begged him to come.  Please... please....  please.  I've NEVER done that with a guy!

I already have arranged for the skinny, nerdy-cute 25 year old student and Carlos, a early 30s lightly-muscled Hispanic dude to come over (separately) on Saturday, but I'm sure I can accomodate them all.

 

Spanking Fetish, continued

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Tyranny of texting

My former wife sends hundreds of texts a week, trying to micro-manage the kids' activities and to a very much lesser extent, mine.  She's like a little Hitler   :-)  except uses texting rather than armies to get her way.

The kids find "being spammed by Mom" very annoying and are often resistant to her unsolicited advice.  She gets angry if they don't answer her texts instantly yet she might not reply for days.  I spent many years in our marriage tiptoeing around, afraid of provoking her anger so that now I constantly remind the kids that Mom's anger is her issue. 

But they generally have the strength of character to resist. The great advantage is that the kids have a choice.  My oldest daughter shrugged: "If Mom gets angry, that's her problem.  I'll just move in with you."

Because of our coming-out / divorce drama my wife and I hadn't filed our income taxes for the past four years. I was extremely concerned about Revenue Canda swooping down on us with threats of hefty fines or jail time.  

The problem was that our taxes were quite complicated and needed to be filed jointly. My wife had lost all the paperwork and was in no shape emotionally to cooperate.   But this spring, to her credit, she prepared four years' worth of both of our tax returns and the kids' tax returns as well. 
  
I just got back the Notice of Assessment and my refund was around $4,000 (woo-hoo!) and the late filing penalty was only $92.30.  What a relief, to have dodged that bullet!

Typically, my wife texted me to ask for copies so she could compare our refunds.  If they weren't equal, she said, one of us (meaning me) would give some of the refund to the other person. (meaning her)   I texted back: "No, our refunds won't be equal nor should they be."  Under Revenue Canada rules and our divorce agreement, I don't pay tax on my spousal support payments but she is taxed on them as income.

This prompted a torrent of texted abuse, "You think I'm out to take your money..."  (too late, she already has it, there's nothing left to take) "... and I'm out to cheat you... blah, blah, blah"  (I know she wouldn't cheat me).  But in the end, I held my ground and the topic was dropped.

Our worst texting conflict happened last night when I gave my son permission to drive some two hours with a friend to their family cottage.   I agreed but made the mistake of not clearing it with my wife.  My son's view on everything is:  "It's okay as long as Mom doesn't find out."

Somehow, she did find out and texted me about planned trip: who knew what and when?  She didn't think our son should be allowed to go (he just got his drivers' license the day before!) and tried to stop it. When I resisted her texted bossiness, she quickly became insulting and abusive.  Most unusually, she abandoned the texting and phoned to continue her tirade and name-calling.

I finally broke in to say that I no longer had to tolerate this sort of abuse.  If she couldn't speak respectfully, then we would not communicate at all.  I hung up the phone, unplugged it and shut off my cell phone.

Knowing how enraged she could become when thwarted, I worried that she would drive the short distance to my house to yell at me in person.  So I drove into town for a late-night visit to the grocery story and went to bed without turning my phones on again.

The whole episode left me exhausted and emotionally drained.  It reminded me in a flash of all the angry, bullying behaviour I dealt with during many years of our marriage.  I escaped!  And despite the financial hardships and the turmoil of divorce, it's all been worthwhile.

Porn star / ballet dancer

Porn star / ballet dancer Jeppe Hansen

Today's pics are from Men in ballet tights.   I had planned on filling everyone in on the details of my encounter with Spanking Fetish Dude.   But that will have to wait for my next post.

Right now, I'm busy preparing for a sweet visit with Big Red.  I'm picking him up soon and we plan to spend several hours in the Love Nest, cuddling, watching a bit of a movie, eating lunch, kissing sweetly and doing the nasty. 

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I've  never featured ballet dancers on this blog before but I was prompted by two things.

First came Whkatt's comments on my recent "beefy thighs" post:   "If you like strong thighs wrapped around you, try a dancer. Dancer's legs are the best - long, toned, and muscular..." 

Then, the gay blog world has been a-buzz with a story about a gay Canadian ballet dancer who was kicked out of the Royal Winnipeg Ballet School for doing gay porn.  The dancer Jeppe Hansen feels that his work in porn was artistic and that the ballet company was unfairly trying to define what constitutes art.

Check out this preview of Jeppe getting "artistic" with an 8" black dildo, or this one where he's is getting pounded by a big-cocked porn star.  Although I'm not at all into twinks, it's pretty hot!

 

 

Spanking Fetish Dude

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Nudist Erections III

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Happy 4th of July!

I'd like to wish all of my American readers a safe and happy 4th of July!  In the 2.5 years that my blog has been in existence, Americans have been my biggest audience by far, with nearly 500,000 page views originating in the USA or  just over 50% of the total.

Congratulations, as well,  to everyone for the huge advances in LGBTQ rights with last week's Supreme Court ruling.   Things are moving along at a meteoric pace in your country!

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In hookup news, Hot Married Guy just spent a pleasant hour with me in the Love Nest.    He was even hotter than in his photo, extremely handsome and a nice guy as well. 

He works as a prison guard and has two kids, 17 and 19.  He's been divorced once and married his second wife after he started hooking up with guys.   Hmmmmm.... really?

Unfortunately, he does not kiss guys during hookups.  This is typical of married, closeted bi guys;  they're probably afraid that kissing a man will make them gay. 

I normally would not hook up with a guy unless he agrees to kiss but if when Hot Married Guy wants to come over again, I would probably say 'yes.'

Borrowed from http://flopsreturns.blogspot.ca/

 Borrowed from http://cocksandassesonly.blogspot.ca/

Random thoughts .... and pics of men with beefy thighs

Furry, muscular thighs are among my favourite parts of a man's body.  I love being squeezed between them  and squeezing a hot guy between mine.  I love a pair of muscular thighs spread as wide open as possible as I work over a guy's cock and balls with my mouth.  Now for the random thoughts:

1. The kids and I have haven't heard from my former wife in over a week and it's been great!  She and a friend have been on a driving trip to a town 2,000 km away.  


2. Although we've been extremely cordial, it's annoying to receive her texts several times a week.  She tries to micro-manage the kids but when they reject her unsolicited advice, she gets angry tries to drag me into the conflict.  "Can you get your son to do _ _ _ _ _ _?  Talk some sense into him!" 
   
   I then have to explain to her that (a) she is being unreasonable (b) the kids know what they need to do  (c) they're adults and are capable of making their own wise decisions.


3. My Love Nest is nearing completion... and I can't wait!  I can entertain men in complete privacy anytime I want, even if the kids are in residence in the main house. 


4. Ethan (the transgendered dude) and I spent an evening together, first in a restaurant and then walking in a park.   His was the most soul-baring and (in some ways disturbing) conversation I've ever had.   But I'm not ready to post about it yet.
   


5. To pay the bills, I have accepted a week-long education-related temp. job in Toronto  in mid-July.  The pay is pretty good and I'll be put up in a hotel with meals included.  Best of all, I get to have some big city gay fun!  Woo-hoo!!


6. After weeks of being too busy for man-sex, I am to host several fit, smokin'-hot guys this week;  some in mid-afternoon and another late at night.  They're all in the prime age range 35 - 38.  :-)


7. I haven't texted or seen Big Red in over a week and I'm feeling guilty about it;  I do like him and not just for hooking up.  I can now have him over to the Love Nest soon.  The difference between Big Red and the other guys is that I probably would introduce him to my kids, should they happen to meet. 

Oh, Canada!

Today is Canada Day and it's finally hot and sunny day here!   My three kids and our three dogs have been living with me full time for several weeks now so it's been extremely busy.... but no complaints here!  They all have summer jobs with varying schedules and busy social lives so we're on the fly all the time.

We'll spend today relaxing and going kayaking to an offshore island near our house.  Tonight, the kids all have separate plans with their own friends to attend the Canada Day festivities in the spectacular waterfront park in town.  

I most likely will go on my own to check out the fireworks and the hot guys who will be everywhere.  I could easily arrange a hookup but, meh, I don't feel like it. 

This hot married guy I posted about will be coming over in a few days, so I'll just wait for that.  There's a strong possibility that I would be able to make an arrangement see the fireworks with my new friend, Ethan (the transgendered dude) and his friends, but I think that I'd rather attend on my own.

Now for my thoughts on Canada Day: my Canadian citizenship is among my proudest possessions.  I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world to be gay in Canada. 

Oh, I could quote all sort of statistics showing that Canada has among the highest rates of acceptance of gays in the world (80%) in the world or that a recent OECD "Better Life Index" ranked Canada as third highest of all the world's industrialized nations.

But here's what I like about being gay in Canada:

1. I can get married to whomever I want.  And if this happened, my marriage wouldn't just be "accepted" or "tolerated", ,but would be greeted with excitement and a sense of celebration by everyone I know, from my kids, parents, friends, bosses and colleagues.


2. My school division is one of the leaders in LGBTQ initiatives in the country.  Since coming out, I've received unequivocal support from everyone at work, from my colleagues, administrators and from the Director of Education herself.


3. While it's not perfect, most of my rights as a LGBTQ citizen are constitutionally protected in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and elsewhere.


4. Hanlan's Point gay nude beach on Toronto Island.  My favourite gay place to go in Toronto!  Wall-to-wall hot and average-looking naked men of all ages in a (for me) sexually-charged atmosphere.  And you get to feel the warm breezes wafting about your nether regions. 


5. Hockey players.  My town is hockey-obsessed and our region has (arguably) produced more NHL hockey players than anywhere else.  I live in eager anticipation of hooking up with a "curious" hockey player..... muscular, aggressive, masculine, naturally-furry and with testosterone coming out of his ears.   


6. Our Gay Villages in Toronto, Vancouver and in particular, Montreal, which has the hottest gay guys and clubs and the least-constipated society in North America with regard to gay sexual expression.


7. We don't have the Bible-thumping, irrational, conservative, "born-again" nut-jobs preaching God's will against LGBTQ rights and trying to run the government, as in the USA. These folks may exist in Canada but they're much quieter about it and their sort of bigotry wouldn't be tolerated by the rest of society.


8. Those nice Canadian guys.  We hear so much about rudeness and bitchiness on the online gay dating sites, but that hasn't been my experience at all.  I've been with many guys  (er....  many, many dozens of guys) and with only one or two exceptions, they've all been extremely polite, respectful, considerate and appreciative of my efforts.   Maybe its because of our small-town mentality but I really think it is just the "Polite Canadian Syndrome."