Sunday, November 25, 2012

Finalizing our separation agreement

I stumbled across these WWII pics on Tumblr for Sean's Dogawbly Pawfect Saturday.   I have mixed feelings when I look at them .... but mainly, they make me want to cry.  

Sadness that so many of these handsome young men and their brave dogs ended up killed or injured in the line of duty.   Anger at the old men who start wars and send young men to fight it for them.  Gratitute that the young soldiers and their dogs had the incredible love for each other to sustain them during the horrors of battle.  Admiration for the dogs who sacrificed their lives for their handlers and saved many thousands of lives.

A few random developments on this wintry (-10 C, snow and howling winds!) weekend:

Seven weeks after receiving our corrections, the lawyer-mediator finally responded.  She e-mailed me with questions about seven different items on our 40-page draft separation agreement.   I'm certain she had forgotten about our file!  Given my wife's (unwarranted) paranoia about our settlement process, this was a blunder as the "neutral" mediator cannot be seen to be favouring or communicating with one party over the other. 

I told the lawyer to send the e-mail to my wife ASAP.  Must I always have to tell people how to do their jobs?  

During my school lunch break on Friday, my wife and I had a rare face-to-face meeting on her back steps to sign off on most of the items.   I wasn't happy with a clause which gave my wife "right of refusal" should I decide to sell my waterfront home.

I mean, WTF?  Why would I want that hanging over my head for the rest of my life?  Our separation agreement was grounded on "reciprocal agreements."  Either we both have right of refusal on each other's houses or neither of us did.  To my surprise, she agreed readily and removed the clause.  I think that we both want to see the end of this horrible ordeal.... and we're very close now!   The final edit of the document will be ready on Tuesday for our inspection and (I hope) I can file for a joint, uncontested divorce soon after that.

My weekends with two of my kids and our three dogs continue to be extremely pleasant and very low key.  We cook, eat and work on various hobbies or renovation projects only venturing into town to go to the grocery store or the Homo Depot (with wall-to-wall smokin' hot guys, both staff and customers!)  Our parents often join us for lunch and it's nice to reconnect with them.  We didn't see as much of them later on in my marrige due to conflicts my wife had with all of my family.... they just steered clear of us!  My household was just fraught with tension!!

My son continues to mainly live with me.  I am here alone for about four weekday evenings every two weeks when I'm free to host.   My oldest daughter's work schedule doesn't permit her to be here during the week (no transportation) so she's usually with us from Friday to Monday.  I wonder what my wife thinks about having none of her kids with her every weekend but she has no real say in the matter.

On the hookup front, I continue to get interest from many quality guys in a wide range of categories, young / middle-aged, married/single and experienced/ inexperienced.  A smorgasbord!  Some are unfamiliar to me but many are "repeat customers" .... more guys than I can accomodate, actually.  

Right now, I'm favouring the young-single-experienced man over the other possible combinations hoping to find a guy who knows how to pleasure a man and to whom I am strongly attracted.  But I'll post about these developments as they occur ...   :-)


  1. I am happy for you, buddybear; you have crossed another bridge, you and your family are happy, you have your menz lusting after you. :)

    drawbacks are the lack of privacy and the cold snowy weather.:(

    but I don't think you would change a thing.

    smooches to my only canadian boyfriend!

  2. How long will it take for an uncontested divorce to go through. See this is why I don't want to get married, ever. All those legal ties, what is the point.

  3. anne marie: thanks for your support, Sweetie! My kids will be on their own soon enough so I will enjoy their company while I can. There will be a never-ending supply of hot boys who want to play with me in the future.

    As to the cold weather, I think a person have to be born to it to really like it .... this winter blast is a rude awakening, but winter is normally my favourite season.

    Mind of Mine: Yes, I reflect often how ridiculously easy / inexpensive it is to get married and how incredibly difficult / costly it is to get divorced.

    At our law firm, the flat rate for an uncontested divorce is $1,700 in Canadian dollars, to be shared equally by me and my wife. One lawyer (or more likely a paralegal) will represent both of us when our file appears before a judge. We don't need to be present in court, nor would I want to be.

    If the judge accepts the terms of the Separation Agreement (and he should!), the whole process should take three months from filing.

  4. WOW, where do I start... Firstly I am Canadian and live in the Niagara Region of Ontario. I was also in our Navy, now the Royal Canadian Navy once again. I loved your first portion of your thoughts to-day. I am in so much agrement with all that you said about our youth that died... The animals that went with them as well. The old guys that did these wars for their own interests and no care for those that followed threw for them. Thank-you

    Oh one last thought on this... As it is, American Presidents and their families no longer send thier loved ones to war. Our Queen, our Head of State still does. FDR sent all of his children to war as well.

    I never add my two cents worth to Blogs but my attention was brought to your blog because my best friend was married young, did all that was expected by his family and our society and lied to himself to achive the so called Canadian Dream or expectation. He showed me your blog because it follows in a way, his own story.

    I always found my self open, if that is the word to what ever a person is, that is that. No judgements, not desires to make people be like me. I like people to be who they are not what I want. You do this for me in spades and help me to understand the trail of life that my best friend had to follow and is following. I am pleased for me that I do not have this in my world, but I do, my son is gay and had a hard time in life and he is now in our military and is married to a great guy. So you opened up my world even further. If for no other reason than to make me undestand better what is what.

    reg from Niagara Region

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