Sunday, September 18, 2011

Pants-less and Undie-less

While packing, I uncovered another treasure from my past.  Labatt's Blue was "my" brand of beer when I bought this muscle shirt in 1985.   I thought it was the coolest shirt ever because the graphic glows in the dark.

A fellow blogger who writes Gay Married in the Midwest posted about his "going commando" day recently.   What do you call a pants-less and undie-less day?  To be honest, I wasn't in that condition all day since some of my kids were here.

I ran into a former colleague, "Mary",  today at the grocery store.   We had worked closely together for several years and our families had visited back and forth.   We've lost contact since she moved to another division but Mary, my wife and I still work for same employer.

About four years ago at the age of forty, Mary told her husband and two boys that she was gay.  Mary and her husband have divorced quite amicably.   She's been in a LTR for the past three years with a young woman about twenty years her junior.  Mary, her partner and her ex-husband often go on family outings together with their two teenage boys.

I said to Mary, "I guess you've heard that _ _ _  and I are getting divorced."    She said that she'd heard this news.   I took a deep breath and took the plunge, "I think you can relate to this, but have you heard the reason that we're getting divorced?   That I figured out that I was gay?"

To my shock, Mary admitted that she had already heard this.  Wow, I guess I'm really "out" now!  This was the first confirmation that someone who wasn't family or a very close friend knew that I was gay.   My reaction:  "Excellent!  I want everyone to know!!"

Mary introduced me to her partner, compassionate, beautiful young woman and we quickly compared notes about our amazing similarities of our journeys.   She said, rolling her eyes, "The signs were there all along... how could I not have known?.... the deepest-buried denial!!"

We just howled with laughter (again, in the grocery story aisle) about our coming-out experiences.  I told her about losing my virginity with Hottie Nurse and how most of the hits generated by my online profile were from guys twenty years younger than me.  Mary and her partner explained that a big age gap was much more of  an issue in heterosexual relationships than in homosexual ones.

Both Mary and her partner were highly supportive, positive and very funny about our situations.   While I have lots of such support from online friends, they are the only two real life gay friends with whom I've discussed my gayness face-to-face. (except Cubby and Greg, last July)

It felt really good!   Once things settle down for me, I have a feeling that with a tiny suggestion from me, I will be able to socialize with them every now and then.   It would be great to meet others in their gay social circle.


  1. your legs and my shoulders would get along famously ;o)

  2. Wow, funny story Buddy. It's great that you'll have some local, real-life friends. I expect you'll have many more soon.

  3. anne marie in phillySeptember 18, 2011 at 11:48 AM


  4. You wrote something?

    Keep the shirt and give thanks that you have been protected by my computer screen.

  5. minn_man39@yahoo.comSeptember 18, 2011 at 5:01 PM

    damn- you are really upping the ante with the pics. i love it. i could barely keep my eyes on the text - i kept scrolling back up to see that hot bush and shaft pic in the header.

    killing us, man!

  6. It cracks me up the things that we used to think were great and only amuse us in retrospect. This probably applies to both the shirt and your burying your feelings, I suppose. I'm glad you have someone to relate to in your journey.

  7. Nick, I'd be willing to try anything with you. A word of warning, old farts like me aren't as flexible as we used to be.

    Two Lives: thank you! I plan to work at it, as soon as I move into my new home. I hope to start by volunteering at our local "Pride Central" and go from there. I'd be sure to meet lots of other gay people and make a contribution at the same time.

    Minn-man: is that Minneapolis? I constantly wonder if I am going to far with this online exhibitionist thing, but I do enjoy it.

    Mack: actually, I still like the shirt a lot; it's just been sitting in a drawer for twenty years. As to "burying my feelings"... it certainly wasn't a conscious decision to do that.

  8. Mary sounds like a great person and friend. I wonder, does everyone at your workplace know you're gay yet? I suspect the younger folks there don't give two shakes about it. I'm curious about the ones your age and older.

  9. Hey. I just stumbled to your blog from Seans Undie posting. You are most attractive. I would love to get to know you. Email me at

  10. Cubby: I was typing out a response to your comment (great question, by the way) but it became so long that I will turn it into Tuesday morning's post.

    Unknown: thank you!

  11. Check out one of the oldest freeballing forums on the web. The Freeballers Forum, hosted by Network54. Quite interesting!

    Getting used to "no underwear" might take some doing, but is worth it.


  12. I'm ready for a NO CLOTHES at all day. I get an hour every now and again, but a whole day would be great!

  13. That shirt is okay. It would be nice to have you greet me in it and with nothing else on. I then would enjoy taking it off you and taking it home as a souvenir of what we did that night.

    Glad that you have a friend whom you can talk to face to face. As for coming out at work, you don't have to raise the rainbow flag, but if it is an accepting environment, start telling close friends and take it from there.


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