Humanitarian Award for LGBT Advocacy

Ellen Picard and her son Gabe 

Read the full story here.

Ellen Picard's gay son was bullied viciously throughout elementary and secondary schools.  She began a five year fight to change the culture of schools in the her local school district.  Her work resulted in sweeping changes in schools across the province of Ontario.

Ellen and Gabe live in a remote blue-collar town in northern Ontario, better known for mining, forestry and its high rates of violent crime.  It is the last place that anyone would expect would become a provincial leader for LGBT advocacy.

After much work at the school and Board level, nothing changed for LGBT students her town. Ellen filed complaints with the Ontario Human Rights Commission against the Board in 2004 and again in 2007, and won.

As a result of her work for LGBT students, the school district in her town leads the province in supporting the rights of LGBT students and staff. 

Some initiatives in her town's public school system include:

• High school teachers participate in anti-homophobia workshops
• There are lesbian, gay, bi and trans resources at each school
• Every high school has a very active Gay Straight Alliance
• Every high school flies the rainbow Pride flag half a several times per year, often for a week at a time.
• Human rights are discussed at staff meetings
• All schools have dedicated anti-homophobia trainers.

Ellen was recently awarded a Humanitarian Award by the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario (ETFO) for her advocacy work for LGBT students.

Note:  these changes only apply to schools in the public system.  Half of the schools are part of the Catholic School Board where, of course, nothing is done to support LGBT student.  Hypocrites!!

80's Short Shorts

The work of packing / fixing / moving stuff to storage continues.  I'm constantly coming across interesting things which haven't seen the light of day in many years.

Check out these mid-80s running shorts which I bought when I was about 24.   Abstract pattern, fluorescent colours, revealing split sides and made of some flimsy material.  Unbelievably, I used to go out  running  in public wearing these... near the west end of Vancouver* and through Stanley Park. 
* This was near Vancouver's gay village, although I didn't know it at the time.  I was temporarily living in my company's apartment nearby.

At the time I was very lean, lanky and lightly muscled.  Thirty pounds lighter than I am now with masses of blonde hair.   I can't help but think that I must have been constantly checked out by men as I ran by, pork sword flopping this way and that.  I was so oblivious to all things gay  (barely even knowing that gay people existed) that I would never have noticed if any guy had checked me out
.  

If I saw a handsome young man wearing these shorts today, I would walk after him just to get a closer look.  (Lately, I've been doing this a lot.... taking that extra trip down a grocery story aisle to check out some delicious hottie.)  I love the look of a jiggling cock in flimsy shorts. 

Back in the 80s, short shorts like these were considered cool and sexy. Now, one would be subject to ridicule if these were worn in public. Sure enough, I tried them on and my son walked by and said, with scorn, "Nice shorts, Dad!"

Absolut Chaos

Jason Lewis would be much hotter with some body hair.

The packing and fixing up of the house continues full steam ahead.  Parts of the job are great fun as the kids and I are rediscovering sweet things from their childhoods.  Fond memories!

Also, there is an underlying sense of dread concern, as I need to talk to my wife about scheduling a meeting with our mediator to draft our separation / divorce agreement before we sell any houses.   My lawyer told me that one of the settlement demands she made was completely unreasonable and cannot be met.... it might be a tricky conversation!

Overall, the prospect leaving this beautiful house and its memories is bittersweet.  Just yesterday, I discovered that Canadian (rye) whiskey makes the job go a lot smoother.  Whistle while you work!

Almost fainting from the effort of sucking in my gut.

Silver Daddy

I am too tired to prepare a proper post, so this will be a collection of random thoughts.  My kids and I have been working very hard to preparing our house to be placed on the market. Who knows when that will happen?


Random thoughts:
BosGuy recently posted about the continuing popularity of facial hair.... "scruff."  Just to throw my hat into the ring, here is my week's growth of facial hair.... pretty sparse!  Just call me "silver daddy!"

I often trim my facial hair into a goatee, keep it for a week and I shave it off when I get tired of looking like some grizzled old prospector.  I don't like the look of a full beard, at least on me.  Also, during my winter sports, one runs the risk of having snotscicles hanging under your nose.  Thirdly, I could never grow a proper beard since my facial hair is very patchy at the best of times especially on the side of my face where I received radiation treatments for cancer.  The hair follicles there were fried permanently. 

Right now, the grocery story nearest our local university is FULL of scruffy-faced frat boys wearing flip-flops and cargo shorts, setting up their households for the new school year.   Most have some facial hair and the majority are super hot;  even the dorky ones are just adorable!   I just love the look of facial hair on a young man;  I'm so looking forward to making out with a hot man with a scruffy face.

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 My wife and I chatted in a parking lot today about my trip next week.  (I was dropping off one of the kids)  She was smiling and chatty;  this friendliness takes some getting used to after years of complaints, hatred and criticism.

Next week, I will be flying over 2,000 miles across the country.  Among other things, I am going to assist my 80 year-old mother-in-law who is having surgery.   I've mentioned before, she has always treated me like a prince and upon hearing that I was gay,  my M-I-L said, "I hold _ _ _ _ in the highest regard... there is nothing that would ever cause me to change my opinion of him."  I am the luckiest late-forties, recently out gay guy in the world!

http://scruffyjizzmonkey.tumblr.com/

http://scruffyjizzmonkey.tumblr.com/

Packing

Lard Arse

You must check out these self-pics posted by sexy-hot bloggers Rob,  D@vid , Bartlebi, and Kelly  (check out Kelly's eighth picture of him in the shower!  Woot!!)  You guys are inspirational!

I've stolen their idea and have posted a few pictures of myself. Right now, I'm easily 25 pounds heavier than my marathon training weight.  All that extra weight is around my middle, so there will be no shirtless pics of me for now!

I've been extremely busy working dusk-to-dawn preparing my house for sale, decluttering, moving boxes to storage, completing countless jobs and coordinating the work of some paid help.   The plan is that as soon as my wife finds a little house in town to buy, mine will go up for sale.

The real estate market here is absolutely booming and most houses are selling very quickly, sometimes at prices higher than their asking price (due to bidding wars.)  Insane!   The problem this creates is that my wife is having a great difficulty even finding a suitable house to look at.

We want to get this buying and selling of homes over with as soon as possible so that all of can us get settled into our new lives. Also, there is a concern that our real estate market might cool down with all the bad economic news in the world.

It will be said to leave the home where I've lived for over 20 years and raised our kids.  However, if our present verbal agreement holds, my new home will be in an absolutely spectacular location.   Very exciting!!!


Before any of these real estate transactions go ahead,  we need to meet with our mediator-lawyer who will help us negotiate our final separation / divorce agreement.  This will be stressful and something, I think, that we are procrastinating about.

Two Spirited

http://brawnystud.blogspot.com

Recently, I listened to a 27 minute CBC Radio documentary on the idea of "two-spirited" people in aboriginal cultures. Listen to it here.   It is the fifth in the list of "Past Episodes." In my workplace, "aboriginal" is the politically-correct term to use for the original inhabitants of North America. Other terms include First Nations, native, American Indian and Canadian Indian/

The concept of two-spirited people is a native tradition that existed for thousands of years in all North American aboriginal cultures. Prior to colonization, they believed in the existence of cross-gender roles, the male-female, the female-male.  The term "two-spirited person" in the aboriginal culture was invented in the early 90s;  it is just an aboriginal-specific version of the term LGBT.

"These individuals were looked upon as a third and fourth gender.  In almost all cultures they were honoured and revered. Two-spirit people were often the visionaries, the healers, the medicine people, the nannies of orphans, the care givers (Roscoe 1988). They were respected as fundamental components of our ancient culture and societies. This is our guiding force as well as our source of strength." Source: Sandra Laframboise and Michael Anhorn


When the bible-thumping religious types came to North America to "convert the heathen" several hundred years ago, they worked to destroy the idea of two-spirited people along with many other aspects of aboriginal culture. I know that none of the religious nut-jobs are reading this blog, but they should consider this:

• The fact that two-spirited people existed for thousands of years in all aboriginal cultures certainly would disprove the idea that being gay is a "choice."
• Two-spirited people were revered and elevated in their aboriginal societies, not scorned, harassed, killed or stripped of their dignity and rights.

Which society was more "civilized?" Which society got it right?

Check out this YouTube clip of sexy native men:

Cooperation

For eye-candy today, how about two more of my favourite red Speedo pics?  It's been a month since my last red Speedo post.  Love the pits on the first guy!

So far, we've had about four private meetings and several phone calls to discuss the details of our divorce.  In addition, I met with a lawyer to find out about everything we need to agree upon. (more on that later)  It's a very complicated process.... a real eye-opener!

The first couple of meetings were highly emotional and stressful with a fair bit of acrimony and name calling. (with me being on the receiving end)  With each meeting, we were able to come to a firm agreement on at least a few items. We were then able to build upon those agreements during subsequent meetings so the degree of cooperation steadily improved.

About 90% of the items have been agreed upon. Very soon, we will together see a different lawyer-mediator who will ensure that all items have been addressed and put into writing. For the final stage, we will each see our own lawyers who will draft the final separation / divorce agreement based on the mediator's recommendations.

Throughout this process, a most remarkable transformation has occurred. There is an air of cooperation and even friendliness coming from my wife. This afternoon, my wife phoned me a couple of times and sent several texts. All of these exchanges were warm, friendly and helpful;  she even sent a compliment my way.  Unexpected, to say the least, especially considering some of the bitterness and hatred I've seen over the past seven months.

It's been a very long time since we've been able to speak such a friendly way. This is a very welcome change indeed, but I also experienced a wave of sadness. I am again starting to glimpse the vibrant woman I feel in love with twenty years ago. The sadness is for our failed marriage and the retirement we won't get to have together; my gayness made a future together impossible.

Sleeping Naked

#1

I often sleep naked during hot humid weather. Now, however, I always think of being  nekkid with Hottie Nurse, our arms and legs wrapped around each other, his head on my chest....

I'd love to cuddle with any of these guys.  Any favourite men (or poses) from the pics below?

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

12 of 12

Congratulations to Cubby of Patently Queer who was my 23,000th visitor today!   This blog was started just over six months ago and has had 48,209 page views (not including mine) and 1156 comments (including many of mine as I comment on comments.)   I find it just unbelievable and gratifying that so many people are interested in my story and of course, all the pictures of hot men.  Thank you!

I know that among my readers are a great many gay / bi married, closeted fathers who are following this soap opera to see how it will turn out.   I wouldn't presume to offer anyone any advice, so I will stick to telling my story as honestly as I can, revealing as much personal detail as I am comfortable with.

Overall, my journey so far has gone far more smoothly than I ever thought possible.  One of the main reasons is that my wife, despite having had her life torn apart and despite many challenges in her life, has been remarkably supportive of me in  her own way.  She fully understands that any attempt to destroy me, socially, financially or however else,  would impact negatively on the kids and all our futures.

Another reason my journey is so smooth is among my circle of friends and family, my coming-out as gay has been a non-event. I've enjoyed the strongest possible support from everyone who knows;  my entire family, my wife's entire family, my wife's friends, my children, my mother-in-law and the few friends I've told.  I am certain that Canada's leadership in granting full protections and rights to LGBT folks has lead to this social acceptance.  

I will go out on a limb to say that I think being gay in Canada has become (or is becoming) the "new normal." 
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Blogger Chad Darnell has a project where people from all over the world take 12 pictures on the 12th of each month and post them on their blogs.  Check out everyone's pictures this month:  Chad's 12 of 12  link list.

I zoomed through town snapping pictures on this beautiful day, Friday August 12th.   The hottie summer men were everywhere!   I just wish I was brave enough to take more pictures of them to share with you!

#1:   A beautiful park in the centre of town near my workplace.    I try to have lunch here when I can.

#2:   My shirt is just poofed out;  my gut really isn't that big!  The ice cream cone isn't helping, of course.

#3:  A flip-flopped, cargo-shorted hottie heading into the liquor store.

#4:  Our town's "subway" is just a concrete tunnel running under some railway tracks.

#5:  The subway reeks of urine and is covered with lots of unimaginative graffiti.

#6:  An inner-city park.... the only people who come here are the residents of the nearby homeless shelter.

#7:   Weekend pierogi sales at the Legion Hall, made by old Polish ladies wearing babushkas.    Pierogis are potato / cheddar cheese dumplings, boiled or fried and served with sour cream and fried bacon, onions and mushrooms.  Carb heaven!  A weekly treat for me!

#8:  This small river cuts right through the centre of town.  It's looking a little murky because of recent rains, but it supports a healthy population of rainbow trout who spawn far upstream.

#9:  A successful inner-city community garden, built on a vacant lot.

#10:   Perve Alert!   A ginger-haired hottie, shot from my car window.

#11:  I had to include this Canadian flag!

#12:   A Ukranian Orthodic church in the older part of town.

Daddy

During my Big Gay Adventure last month, I set up my first profile on a gay hook-up site,  Adam4Adam  in the small(ish) city where I was staying.   In my profile, I used my actual face picture and several realistic pictures of me in my undies.  I described myself as a "late 40s gay virgin."

I was struck by the number of unattractive, fat middle-aged guys who specified on their profiles, "Only interested in guys 20 - 25 years old."   Are they delusional?  Do they ever get any responses?

The biggest surprise for me:  of the five guys who seriously responded to my profile, three were in the 28 - 30 year old group.  I just don't understand why a young guy would be interested in someone twenty years older!   There wasn't much interest from men in my own age group.

The first guy was a 28 year old who wanted to play, pictured at left.  I couldn't believe that someone so young wanted to have sex with me so I messaged him saying, "You do know that I am twenty years older than you, right?"   He responded.  "I don't care.  U R hot."   Funny!..... and a bit of a confidence booster!    Sadly, neither of us could host and with my 12 hour per day course schedule and his work schedule, we didn't get together.

The second response came from Hottie Nurse.  I've described that special encounter several times already, My Gay Virginity Lost! , Doing the Nasty and Afterglow.

I got a several messages from the sweet young man pictured  below.   Sexy body, sweet face, beautiful smile, an athlete.  He complimented me on my profile and my looks but seemed more focused on "finding a friend" and "seeking a LTR."

I thanked him for his interest but pointed out that I lived thousands of miles away, would be leaving town in several days and was not available for a relationship.  To be honest, I became increasingly interested in meeting him; he was so sweet and so hot!  ... but I was leaving town the next day.

He sent several more messages similar to the first;  he seemed so lonely.  I felt sorry for him and finally suggested to him that Adam4Adam  probably was not the place to find a LTR.  Couldn't he find a nice gay soccer or football

league to join, or some other gay social group?

In the world of heterosexual dating,  no 28 year old woman would ever be interested in a guy who was +20 years older unless he was rich.

The question:   why are some younger gay guys so interested in being with men who are decades older than them?

Shirtless Boys in Boats

My kids and I spend about six hours on the water yesterday and had a wonderful time!  It was a nice escape from packing up my house for sale and the incredible stress of our 'division of assets' discussions.

We saw plenty of  shirtless, flat-bellied young men all day long, like these ones pictured.   I try to be discrete when ogling hot guys in the presence of my children.  I often wonder if they notice;  teenagers can be a lot more perceptive than we give then credit for!

When I was in my  20s, my belly was not only perfectly flat, it was actually concave.  Not only did I not appreciate it, I just assumed that my flat belly would be with me forever.  Ah.... the innocence of youth!. 

Seeing these young men brought back fond memories of my childhood and young adult life with my brothers, cousins and friends.  In in the summer, we were on the water constantly.

That's one thing I find so appealing about men of all age;  they don't lose the ability to have some childish fun.   The few women I saw yesterday were sitting on the shore and in all likelihood, tsk-tsking, "Men!!  Will they ever grow up!!"



All pictures are from http://photobucket.com/ 

Five on Fifth

Steven Chapman says:
"Take 5 photographs on the days leading up to the 5th and publish those on your own blog and then add the link to my blog,  State of the Nation UK so that others can see your images."You can either take 5 random pictures or follow this month's theme, which is: MY TOWN

I was 'on the fly' between doctors' appointments, so I quickly stopped in a city park to take my pics.

A formal flower garden

Count me in!

This is among the most recognizable flags in the world.

Phallic symbol.

This ship's bell was cast in Troy, New York in 1884.

Be careful what you ask for...

The Untamed Man

Recently, I've been in the middle of "The Perfect Storm" of many stressful events all happening at once.  All of this is taking it's toll on my spine, my health in general and my usual positive, sunny disposition.  

Everything will resolve itself just fine, I'm sure.  I just need to keep pushing ahead, however frightening and uncertain it might be.  There is no turning back, that's for sure!!!

Lest you think I'm boo-hooing.... "Oh gosh, poor me!",  my wife is even more severely affected by all this.  She became sick to her stomach after each of our settlement conversations so we are taking a week or two off from any further discussions.  She is not nearly so confident about having a happy, exciting future as I am.


So... since I'm too bummered out to think of anything original,  I am ripping off this post from Erik Rubright, that sweet, sexy tattoo artist / blogger from Arkansas.

Ask me a question about EACH (or any) of the following and I will post an answer:

1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Religion
5. Love
6. Blogging 

The Untamed Man

Ask me anything and I will answer it.  I challenge some of the lurkers readers who have never commented to ask a question or two.  Please, I'd really love to hear from you!

Sexy flag-men

Sweaty and ripe construction worker undies.

I have spent many years observing guys in their 20s (and younger) ogling my teenage daughters when we're out in public.  I've become accustomed to this and in fact, it doesn't trouble me at all.   I well understand the horniness of a young man with aching balls, the tingling in his nether regions as he looks at my stunningly beautiful daughters.

Since I came out as gay, this scenario has changed quite a bit.   What now happens is that I am ogling the 20-something hottie dude who is ogling my 17 year old daughter.  This seems so wrong, somehow!   

I was reminded of this yesterday when I drove my daughter a few hours up a remote highway to her job-related commitment.  There was much road construction and delay;  we were stopped by about ten flag-men.  Every one was a college boy (early 20s), each with a scruffy, unshaven face and slim body,  Sexy!!  Their frat-boy youthfulness nicely contrasted with their work-boots, Carhartt workers' jeans and hard hats.  Sadly, none of them was shirtless because of the ever-present hordes of black flies, mosquitoes, deer flies and horse flies.

After my "conquest" with the 28 year old Hottie Nurse, my gay sexual self-confidence has increased ten-fold.   I now go around thinking that I'm some irresistible sex magnet, God's gift to gay men. Delusional, I know!!  The reality is that I'm just another tubby, middle-aged gay guy.

All the construction boys we saw were way cuter than these guys.

As we slowly drove by the construction sites, every single one of the hottie flag men stared intently into our car.  My immediate thought was, "Gosh, I think he was checking me out!!!" 

After we passed by the third flag-man staring into our car, I suddenly had a reality check.... maybe, just maybe the those bored, horny young men were looking at my daughter.  She was sitting beside me, all flashing blonde hair, blue eyes, spaghetti-strapped top, voluptuous curves and cleavage.   It was a crushing realization!

This discovery was confirmed when I returned by myself in the car.  Of the ten or so flag men, nine of them showed not the slightest flicker of interest in me, not the slightest glance in my direction.  Only one of the hottie flag-men again stared into my car as I drove by.... hmmm.... maybe it wasn't too unreasonable to think that there was one gay guy in the group?