Sunday, July 17, 2011

Reflections on my Big Gay Adventure

I'm  in an airport lounge, half-way done my nearly eight hours of travel to the Great White North. My home town might as well be on another planet ... it is so different than what I've experienced over the past week.

I announced the start of my Big Gay Adventure with much trepidation in an earlier post.  In the end, my week far exceeded my expectations.  Much of the time, I found it took a great deal of courage to force myself into these scary and unfamiliar situations.  I don't regret any of it!

Something that has troubled me deeply for a long time was this:  I never really knew what my sexual response to other men "in the flesh" would be.  Was I only attracted to the abstract images online?  This week's experiences in the strip club and in bed with two different guys proved to me that:  (1) Yes, I can get extremely sexually aroused by men in real life and (2) Yes, Virginia, I really am gay.   It may have been obvious to all of you, but it certainly wasn't to me!

Some gay highlights of my week:
  • Spend a day with my dear friends Cubby and Greg;  that will be the highlight of my year, not just week!
  • Strolled Buffalo's gay village and went to my first gay bar where I enjoyed a little bit of attention as well as fantastic conversation with C & G.
  • Visited two male strip clubs and enjoyed looking at the sweet, sexy guys, enormously.   The high points were the few times when a fully nekkid stripper got an erection on stage....  it drove me wild with desire!
  • Loved having the hottie stripper boys just sit close to me not to mention being fondled by them.  Sweet!
  • The second strip club was very much a "cruis-ey" place and I saw first-hand how a little eye contact, a smile, some flirtation and a bit of an outgoing personality could get you everywhere.  (I was too exhausted to pursue any of this but I now know what I could do.)
  • Had my first (and probably last) paid nekkid lap dance.
  • Looked around some gay sex shops:  I loved the leather gear... the monster dildos, not so much.
  • Spend enough time walking around Toronto's gay village so that I became quite comfortable there
  • Signed up on a free online gay dating site;  I got the biggest response from guys in the 27 to 31 age group. Why???
  • Had the most incredible sensual and sexual experience of my entire life, being made love to by a sexy, energetic, aggressive 28 year old who not only drove two hours to pick me up / drive me home but cooked and served me supper afterwards!   Not a typical first-time hookup!!!
  • Discovered I loved being kissed by a man.
  • Had a second hookup with a guy stoned out of his mind in the seediest basement apartment imaginable.  On the plus side, he had a monster cock which in fact, was a little too big for me for oral, although I managed just fine.
  • Was on the receiving end of some amazing, convulsion-inducing deep throat action, although I never came.  Unreal!
  • Discovered that I am (I think) good at giving blow jobs and boy, do I like doing it!!!  Much more practice is needed, however. 


  1. Just finished reading all your posts about the big TO adventure! YAY!! So glad you had a great time! And thanks for the shout outs! So glad I was of help. Congrats on the hook-up! Sounds like you found a great guy for the first one! Hold on to his number for next time. Congrats!!

  2. First time is something to remember - I hope it was memorable! Sounds like you had fun and in tune with it! Now that you have a taste of what's out there just take it in stride and be careful!

  3. Really? Gay Village in Buffalo huh? I think you were just in the spot where it was not a backwater town. (I've lived there - I can be honest). Been biting my tongue as I read about your adventures in the " Big City" (Toronto etc...)But, a bit offended by all this Gay Village talk. Honestly the way you describe it you may as well be visiting Toronto circa 1992. Gay people no longer just live in a "village" but are everywhere. You did not see a gay "village" what you saw was a commercialization of being Gay. Sorry to be a bit rude... find your story quite sweet and compelling, but had to say something on this subject. Best of luck in the future! h

  4. On behalf of the World Wide Gay Committee, I wish to convey my hardiest congratulations on getting your weenie wet for the first time. Your Certificate Of Completion, suitable for framing, is in the mail.

  5. RG: thank you! I'm very proud of myself. Just wait till you read about of my first time (in a few days) with the 28 year old hottie. Incredible!

  6. Anonymous: Thanks for bringing up an interesting point. Yes, the most that one could say about the "gay village" in Buffalo was that it was practically non-existent. A surprise, but that wasn't the point of our visit!

    We were there for only a very short time and the high point of our day was meeting and talking to each other. As well, we went to some excellent "non-gay" destinations which every tourist to Buffalo does.

    As to Toronto's gay village (or Montreal's or San Francisco's or wherever), I am fully aware that gay people do not just live in "the village." OBVIOUSLY. There are probably over 10,000 LGBT people in my town and there is no village here, or a gay bar for that matter.

    But it is not 1992 and these places still do exist. There must be some benefit to them, some value (other than just inertia), or they wouldn't. For me, it was a unique experience which I could not have at home, where EVERY shop, EVERY club and indeed EVERY person in that four block area was in some way LGBT- connected.

    If you had ever lived as "the only gay in the village" in a very small, remote town of less than a few thousand people, you would know what an incredible, life-changing and exhilarating experience it was to just walk down Toronto's Church Street.

    Commenters: please add your views, do gay bars and gay villages still have any relevance today?

  7. Good for you Buddy! To step out there took a lot of courage. I am glad it was an affirming experience.

    Yes, gay bars/villages have relevance. Until Gay is OK for everyone, having a safe place will be needed.

  8. Welcome to Faggotsville!

    The story of your gay encounters were hot to read but I also glad you had the chance to experience them.

    I am still turned on though :)

  9. Thanks for your comments, everyone! I'm posting tomorrow about my encounter with the 28 year old hottie; all the details!

  10. Wow.....sounds like an amazing trip!

  11. Dear Buddy,
    I am glad you had a nice time in Buffalo. I really am. Yes, I guess the "villages" do serve a purpose - And maybe I have forgotten what it is to first come out and be amazed that you are not the only one and that you can go to a place and feel accepted. In a way I am sorry for that. I just want you to know that there is a thriving gay life outside of the "villages" that you can be a part of. Life is not black & white and neither is being gay. It is not all or nothing as the media has portrayed in the past. You can have it all and I think you should know that. I am younger then you but have lived many places in this world and know that ( in a trite reference to a Rolling Stones song) You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes... you just might get what you need (sorry! had to be done). You don't have to sit on a parade float to be gay, you just have to be you and have confidence in that to find your way. Wishing you the best! h

  12. Quite a lot of acheivements! And happily there were positive ones; most people's firsts are either disappointing or bungled.

    "Reflections' ? hohoho

  13. Buddy Bear - loved your posts about your trip to the "gay village". Yes, I used that term about the Davie Street section of Vancouver in a post of mine the other day. I understand "Anonymous's" point but I think he missed your point - there are places in large cities where gay people can go and feel comfortable being themselves. In the absence of a better term to describe them I think calling them a "village" evokes a charm and spirit of acceptance that villages are known for. Indeed, a village is just a defined community in a small geographic area. Doesn't mean everyone lives in a village.
    Further about Davie St, Vancouver, when BF and I were there last month, I was lamenting that there seemed to be only straight couples walking about during the weekend daytime. It's become a place of safety and sanctuary for everyone yet it fully defines itself as a gay microcosm of a large city. The City of Vancouver even hangs pride flags as banners on the streetlights.
    I found your posts about the lap dancing and your “unvirgining” to be very erotic. I’m so glad you had a wonderful and safe time!! Thanks for sharing.

  14. About Mike D's point...Buddy, I just want you to know that you can go places in this world and not have to find a "village" to be comfortable, or go to a "village" to be yourself. That's all! Much respect. h

  15. "H": thank you for all your kind comments. In my remote town, gay bars, male strip clubs and Pride Parades do not exist. I look forward to becoming part of our thriving gay community by serving on some LGBT committees / public service organization, and/or participating in some other activities such as some gay sports league.

    Dr. Spo: My first experience was so fantastic, I fear that it will be a tough act to follow@

    Mike D: You expressed the feeling of a big city "gay village" beautifully from the point of view of us smaller-town guys who came out in middle age. Thank you!


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