I'm in an airport lounge, half-way done my nearly eight hours of travel to the Great White North. My home town might as well be on another planet ... it is so different than what I've experienced over the past week.
I announced the start of my Big Gay Adventure with much trepidation in an earlier post. In the end, my week far exceeded my expectations. Much of the time, I found it took a great deal of courage to force myself into these scary and unfamiliar situations. I don't regret any of it!
Something that has troubled me deeply for a long time was this: I never really knew what my sexual response to other men "in the flesh" would be. Was I only attracted to the abstract images online? This week's experiences in the strip club and in bed with two different guys proved to me that: (1) Yes, I can get extremely sexually aroused by men in real life and (2) Yes, Virginia, I really am gay. It may have been obvious to all of you, but it certainly wasn't to me!
Some gay highlights of my week:
- Spend a day with my dear friends Cubby and Greg; that will be the highlight of my year, not just week!
- Strolled Buffalo's gay village and went to my first gay bar where I enjoyed a little bit of attention as well as fantastic conversation with C & G.
- Visited two male strip clubs and enjoyed looking at the sweet, sexy guys, enormously. The high points were the few times when a fully nekkid stripper got an erection on stage.... it drove me wild with desire!
- Loved having the hottie stripper boys just sit close to me not to mention being fondled by them. Sweet!
- The second strip club was very much a "cruis-ey" place and I saw first-hand how a little eye contact, a smile, some flirtation and a bit of an outgoing personality could get you everywhere. (I was too exhausted to pursue any of this but I now know what I could do.)
- Had my first (and probably last) paid nekkid lap dance.
- Looked around some gay sex shops: I loved the leather gear... the monster dildos, not so much.
- Spend enough time walking around Toronto's gay village so that I became quite comfortable there
- Signed up on a free online gay dating site; I got the biggest response from guys in the 27 to 31 age group. Why???
- Had the most incredible sensual and sexual experience of my entire life, being made love to by a sexy, energetic, aggressive 28 year old who not only drove two hours to pick me up / drive me home but cooked and served me supper afterwards! Not a typical first-time hookup!!!
- Discovered I loved being kissed by a man.
- Had a second hookup with a guy stoned out of his mind in the seediest basement apartment imaginable. On the plus side, he had a monster cock which in fact, was a little too big for me for oral, although I managed just fine.
- Was on the receiving end of some amazing, convulsion-inducing deep throat action, although I never came. Unreal!
- Discovered that I am (I think) good at giving blow jobs and boy, do I like doing it!!! Much more practice is needed, however.