Saturday, July 2, 2011

My Big (City) Gay Adventure

Soon, my employer will be sending me to the other side of the country for a week-long training session. The training is located in a large southern Ontario city outside of Toronto.  I will have several free days apart from the session.

This will be my biggest opportunity yet to push head with my gay journey.  I've had countless work trips in the past but this one will be memorable for the following reasons:  

  • I've finally admitted to myself that I am gay.
  • My marriage has broken down; after a five month separation, being unfaithful no longer applies.
  • No other work colleagues are attending with me;   I'll be a lone wolf!  Woooo!
  • I will be away from my small town where everyone knows everyone else.  Big city anonymity!
  • At my age (mid 40ish), I have a strong desire to not waste any more time in my personal life.
  • Toronto has one of the larger gay villages in North America.
  • I used to live in Toronto so I know it very well but not the gay part.
Balancing all this out, I am extremely cautious by nature and I would never place myself in a situation where I would feel at risk especially since I will be there alone. By "at risk", I mean picking up some disease, getting robbed, beaten up or worse. Nor would I want to do anything really seedy.   My own comfort level is of primary importance.  If my gut tells me not to proceed, then I won't!

I have no problem going into some gay venues by myself, such as to a bar.  However, I might be content to just hang back and watch but not participate in any of the activities.  No matter what I choose to do, every bit of it will be new and exciting!  Baby steps!

I'm not sure what to do.  Visit a gay bar on Friday / Saturday night?  Which one(s)?  Look at some male strippers or go-go boys?  Make some purchases at a gay sex shop? Just people-watch in the gay village?

Please, feel free to offer me some suggestions for my big city gay adventure, either as a comment or as a private e-mail. (xxxxxxx)  Thank you!

If you are from Toronto or have visited there, some suggestions of  specific places would be appreciated.  If you've never been to Toronto, please make some suggestions based on gay venues you've visited in other big cities.

To my Canadian readers, a happy belated Canada Day!   None of these guys is Canadian, but at least they're wearing red, eh?  (Both pictures are from


  1. Go and have a good time... and the guy in the boots...WOW! HOT!.. find one of them on your adventure!

  2. Toronto s an amazing gay partner is always there and he goes to some of the gay bars...there's a Steamworks in there (Bath House)....I always like to watch what goes on, but I NEVER participate in's people watching...another option is a massage - that's a bit innocent but different!.

    I'll e-mail some places my partner's been!

    PS: THe pic of the lifeguards in red - is actually the uniform that the Australian lifeguards wear - I'm not kidding!

  3. Oh I forgot - HAPPY CANADA DAY!

  4. Well, Church St., as you know, is the Village. There Woody's/Sailor, it's where everybody goes, all ages all shapes and sizes. Cruz/Tango is similar, but more dancey. And they both have drag shows at some point. The Black Eagle is the Bear/Leather bar, but it's still fun and they have a great rootop patio. George's Play is dancey, and kinda loungey, and they have drag shows too. Bit of a middle eastern crowd since they play that kind of music sometimes. The Barn and Stables is a great all types dance bar too, with three levels and a few bars in the place it's great fun, and they even have a small dark maze in there for fun. Fly nightclub is the big Dance bar in the village, but it is closing soon so depending on when you're here it might not be open. Lot's of house music and Fri/Sat nights it's the place where the drug fueled muscle boys go to take off their shirts.

    Flash is the Gogo bar on Church St., naked boys dancing on stage and everyone else dancing in front of them. But it's a private club so you always have to pay a cover charge (it's how they get away with the 'private dances' in the back) lovely decor though. There's also Remmington's on Yonge St. south of Gerrard for male strippers, it's classic stripping, but they allow women in there too, now, but still pretty good men, with a variety of types. Go on a Friday or Saturday to get the prettier/more built ones. Goodhandy's is the sex club, with live sex shows and porn star guest appearances. It's a little seperated from the village but still on Church St. It is very trans friendly because one of the owners, Mandy Goodhandy, is trans. Check their website to see what nights are what. They make their own porn there too.

    If you want to venture out of the village there's Queen West or Queer West as it is sometimes called. The Beaver, Wrongbar, the Gladstone Hotel and a few others on Queen St. West are Queer friendly and have LGBT nights frequently. It is a bit of a younger/hipster crowd, but still accepting and fun.

    Priape is the one stop shop for everything sex in the village. Everything from jeans and underwear to dildos and porn can be found there, definitely a must. There's also North Bound Leather if you like leather play, and if you don't they have a great selection of other related products like cock rings and such. Honestly it's a lovely place to just browse and smell the leather. hehe.

    There's lots more I could tell, but I think that's enough for one comment. Let me know if you want to know more.

  5. Kelly: Yes, I hope to have fun! You know, I used to look very much like "boots guy", well into my 30s. I didn't have the abs, but did have lats, much broader shoulders, blonde hair and I think, a less homely face.

    SteveA: I'd love to get your partner's e-mailed recommendations! Yes, the Aussies call it "scrunching the crackeroo" (don't think I got that phrase quite right) as it helps them get a grip on their surfboards and avoids sand getting up their Speedos.

  6. Sexy Beast: thanks for taking the time to send such a detailed account of 'gay Toronto.' This was exactly what I was hoping for! Sadly, I will only be in Toronto for, at most, three evenings, but I will plan carefully based on your suggestions.

    I wish I was in Toronto for Pride, rather than next week. Another year! Thanks again!

  7. That first guy with the hairy legs -- OMG!!! Send him to my house please.

  8. No Problem Buddy! There's lots more to see and do, it's nice to just wander along the street as you never know what you'll find ;). I know there's more clubs too, but those are the ones I'm most familiar with. Have Fun!

  9. anne marie in phillyJuly 2, 2011 at 4:59 PM

    ummmmm, hawt man asses...I don't care in what country they are located, I just wanna fondle their bums!


  10. ^ @ anne marie -- stand in line and take a number sweetie!

  11. Happy Canadialand Day to you too! ;)

    Here's my suggestion: Just go and enjoy the Gay Village at the level you're most comfortable. Go to a gay bar, a restaurant, etc., - it can be a bit overwhelming for a newbie.

    And for FSM sake, if you get cruised by a total hottie like the one in the grocery store back in your hometown of East Frozen Lake, CRUISE BACK!

  12. Thanks for all the great comments, everyone!

    RG: Yes, I promise I will 'cruise right back.' I used to be a terrible flirt in my 20s when all the 40ish cougars were constantly hitting on me. I'm a bit out of practice but I am sure it's like riding a bicycle... you never forget.

  13. Stinko!
    Bad timing. I will be in the Toronto area next month; it would be good to meet you.

  14. Dr. Spo: Bummer! Yes, I knew you'd be in the area in August but I'm leaving on July 17th. I know we'll meet another time!

  15. I hope you have a great time. Sorry I can't help you with TO hilights.
    Like you, my natural tendency is to be very cautious and that's kept me in good health and safety.
    Like Steve A, I am a people watcher and never participated in the antics or hijinx (although a little flirting is fun - especially the first time a guy hits on you).
    I went to my first gay bar with a friend (a very large and experienced friend)and we had a great time. Have fun. Look forward to reading your blog of this experience!


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