Saturday, January 5, 2013

Goals for 2013 (Part 2 of 3)

It's another Dogably Pawfect Saturday by Sean of Just a Jeep Guy. 

These beautiful pictures were taken by the Atlanta photographer Joshua Thomas for a charity calendar which might not be be released until July 2013,  Hunks and Hounds.  Read an interview with  the photographer here. and check out his website.  

These are the rest of my goals for 2013 continued from  my previous post.  Note:   Goal #1 was copied verbatim from my resolutions from one year ago.

4.   Volunteer at one but preferably two LGBTQ organizations in town.

One organization needs volunteers to help at big events such as our Gay Pride week in June or our LGBTQ Film Festival. The other organization provides blanket support to LGBTQ folk in the community, but is located on campus of our local university so most of the clientele would be of university age.

However, I am concerned if I volunteer at the university-based organization that I will look like some lecherous old perv (which is what I actually am) who is only there to hookup with the hottie frat boys. Tricky!

I didn't even attempt to do this in 2012 because I was too stressed-out selling my house, moving, negotiating our divorce agreement and dealing with my prostate issues

But the main reason I didn't do it is that by joining one of these organizations I would have outed myself to the community at large.  I'm fine with that but I wanted my final divorce agreement signed first because I expect my ex-wife will react negatively to it.  So, next week, I will contact the LBTQ coordinators to find out how I can help.  I promise!

With my professional and interpersonal skills,  intelligence, common sense and life experience as a gay man coming out in middle-age, I think I have a lot to offer to the LGBTQ community including as a role model.  

5.   Find some more friends, preferably gay men.
I have only one extremely close friend in town who I've known since birth.  We were born days apart and were neighbours for 23 years until he married and I moved across the country.  But he lives 45 minutes away and has a very busy life as a straight divorced dad raising his kids so we don't have  as much contact as we'd like. 

It was hard to make new friends during the many years when my kids were young;  the demands of child-rearing mainly without help, dealing with my wife's erratic behaviour and earning a living gave me no time or energy for anything else.   Most of my "friends" in the old neighbourhood were just parents of my chidren's friends .... I probably would not have associated with them without that connection.  Once the kids grew up and moved on, I've only maintained contact with several of them but on my "B-list."

I'm still not convinced that it is possible for single, gay men who are looking for an LTR to be platonic friends.  Doug would be a great friend but he really wants to have sex with me and maybe even an LTR.   I consider myself friends with the two older gay men with whom we had the hot-tub party in August, but as they live 50 minutes away, getting together with them is a challenge.

When I volunteer with the local gay organizations this year, I will meet a wide variety of LGBTQ folks "in the flesh", not just online.  I hope develop a wider circle of friends among them.

My final goal:  SEX, SEX, SEX!  will be dealt with in my next post.


  1. Lecherous old perv is so 80's now we call them trolls unless they're hot like you in which case we call them Daddy!

    You'll find a lot of different ages volunteering and many (older, younger and straight) will be checking you out (fresh meat) as well.

    I think you'll do great but be careful with your expectations.

    1. Thanks, Sean! I would be happy to be called a Daddy!! I already know several of people involved with our LGBTQ organizations and they suggested I join. I have a reasonable idea of what might be involved.

      As to expectations, maybe it's best if I have no expectations at all. I'm certainly not volunteering to meet "Mr. Right" or even "Mr. Right Now." I hope to be able to help out in some small way to improve the lives of those in our LGBTQ community.

  2. I do volunteer work with my church (MCC) which is very active in the LGBT community. But also non LGBT activitis like helping the homeless. I love it! But I have recently started meeting more gay men as friends rather than hook ups. Some out for a long time, some recent. All with info that is useful. From you posts, it looks like you are in an accepting enviorment. Enjoy. I think one of my proudest moments of myself was feeling comfortable giving new boyfriend a kiss in a straight bar. Nothing erotic, just a quick peck. And remember, this is in the southern part of USA

    1. That sounds great! That's the sort of situation where I hope to be heading.

  3. Looks like you'll have a busy year with all your goals. I think it is great that you are making a list of things you want to do and try to accomplish. I look forward to reading what you end up doing in 2013 and if I hadn't said it previously - Happy New Year.

    1. Thanks for commenting and for your good wishes! Happy New Year to you as welll!!

  4. If I remember correctly, you had an idea of when and how to out yourself to your school. If you volunteer with either of the gay organizations in town you say this will out you to the whole community. So will you out yourself to the school first, or let your working for a gay organization in town do it for you?

    1. Will, as you know, volunteering with an LGBTQ organization doesn't necessarily prove that you're gay. Straight people who are "friends of..." or "parents of..." will be there as well. But yes, I would definitely out myself to the wider community if I were to volunteer.

      At the University LGBTQ group, I will run into former students now at university. With the Pride group, I will meet current students and teachers from other schools. The schools' Gay Straight Alliances play an active role in Pride.

      I will also meet straight acquaintances who will be involved as representatives of local business, union and social service groups. And I'm okay with that.

      At school, my three administrators already know I'm gay as do most of my colleagues. But it would be ridiculous and inapproriate to make some big announcement about my sexuality to the students. It is not that big of a deal here and anyway, it is no one's business but my own. Some students already suspect and others will figure it out eventually.

  5. Hey, Buddy. I wouldn't worry about how it looks while volunteering. I volunteer with a number of organizations and - honestly - never thought about what people think. I love volunteering (Pride, ACT, AIDS Walk, Fashion Cares, etc.). Great way to get involved. Have fun.

    1. You're inspirational, Jeffrey! There are so many great LGBTQ volunteering opportunities in Toronto. It must have been very cool to meet Elton John at Fashion Cares this year! :-)

  6. I love your #4. I will be training with a local organization that serves LQBTQ youth, ages 11-19. After 30 years with the scouts, I think I can offer some decent experience and leadership, guidance, and as you mention, as a role model. And for me, it's the same as you: I'll be outing myself to the community at large. It's time for me to do it. And I really, really agree with your response to Will, re: making some grand announcement at school. For me, it will trickle out to those who care (or don't), and it doesn't need to be any other way.

    Congratulations on your resolutions. Especially #4.

    Peace <3

    1. Thanks, Jay! Best of luck with your volunteering activities. I'm sure the outing yourself to the community will go well.

      My prediction is that most people either won't really care that you're gay (too busy with their own life) or already suspected that you were gay long ago. After all how many unmarried or girlfriend-less guys are out there at our age?


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