Saturday, August 11, 2012

Weighing on my mind

The sexy guy / cute dog pics are from boyswithbeardswithdogs for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.   I wish it was me instead of those dogs, licking the men's faces or cuddling up between their thighs.

Despite all the M2M sex I'm getting, I am becoming increasingly lecherous, thinking 'impure thoughts' about every man I see in public (except those who are obese or elderly).  I imagine what I would do to them sexually:  "I would drive you wild, boy!"   This applies in particular to younger, inexperienced men who seem to have become my specialty in recent weeks.

Weighing on my mind right now:

1.  I've been accepted as a patient at Canada's leading prostate cancer centre but don't yet have an appointment time.  Good news!   I've posted about my prostate concerns here.

My concern is that instead of  having passionate sex with 22 year old men* I'll end up wearing adult diapers and have no sexual function at all.   (* subject of a future post.)  To that end, I've cancelled my appointment with our local "butcher" urologist.

2.  My classes start in about three weeks.  While I LOVE my job, even experienced teachers have a touch of anxiety, if not dread, at the start of the new school year.   A couple of my classes this year will be particularly challenging.
Couldn't resist this open-crotch shot!

3.  I want to come out to my high school students this year and I just might need to.  This summer, I've been seen in public with various men, in parks, community events and once, at the movies, not to mention all my online hookup activities.  In a small town, you run into someone you know every time you go out!

Eventually, gay gossip about me will reach my school.  I hope to be proactive by doing something as simple as wearing a T-shirt to class with a little Pride logo on it.  More importantly,  I will be a the coolest, most fabulous and indeed, the only role model for our gay students at my school!

Before coming out at school, however, I need to seek the permission of my son who will be attending grade 11 at the same school.  Tricky!

5.  My wife and I need to finalize our discussions about our draft Separation Agreement, sign the final version and then file for divorce.   This is going fairly well so far but there is always potential for more demands, reneging on agreements already made and more anger / bitterness.  We need to move on!

6.  I've had various concerns about the several men I hook up with regularly including a heart-breaking message  from my married Special Guy .... I haven't heard from him in months!   This will be a subject for another post.


13 comments:

  1. "I am becoming increasingly lecherous, thinking 'impure thoughts' about every man I see in public"

    hey, I do that all the time! still! at age 58! :)

    this is a serious post, dear. sending good vibrations your way!

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  2. Can you elaborate on "a heart-breaking message from my married Special Guy"

    I clicked on the link, but I was taken to the prostate cancer post.

    I'm curious! What heartbreaking message???

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  3. Glad to hear you've been accepted at the prostate centre. Hope it goes well.

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  4. Funny Buddy, I am having some of those same thoughts and concerns. Don't get me wrong, it is not that I feel guilty just not sure what to make of it. A friend told me I need a hobby other than sex. LOL. Good luck at the center. Something tells me that one way or the other, you will continue to have sex. You are quite the giver after all.

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  5. anne marie: If only all those men you're lusting after in public could read your mind! LOL. Thanks for your words of support. {{hugz}} I love your blog, by the way. The pound cake was delish! I added some lemon rind and squeezed some lemon juice over the top.

    anonymous: It's a complicated situation with my Special Guy which will be dealt with in a future post.

    Tim: thank you!

    Skier: Regarding our sex lives, we're both going through "The Kid at the Candy Store" syndrome. It will calm down, eventually. And thanks for your positive comment about my future sex life. I LOVE giving pleasure to men.... and I'm not as good at receiving it.

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  6. I predict you will do fine, Buddy. Your unlimited optimism will bulldoze through most of those issues. But do have that conversation with your son soon and reassure him the small baby steps you will take in coming out.

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  7. I can't wait to hear about the heartbreaking message. I also can't wait to hear about what happens regarding your prostate. Be sure to let us know when your appointment comes up.

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  8. My libido, ability to orgasm significant loads, and lust for (and satisfy) a variety of "types" of men have survived a failed laser procedure and a conventional TERP for enlarged prostate up to an age I fear you might consider "elderly." Make sure you are completely comfortable with any doctor you choose and that you and he understand all possible consequences of the procedure(s) you choose as well as the place your sex life occupies in your life. And the best of luck all the way!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Will, for sharing your inspirational story. It has had a greater impact on me than anything else I've heard regarding prostate problems.

      And yes **blush** I might consider you "elderly." Despite some offers, I haven't accepted a hookup offer from anyone older than 56. My loss, perhaps!

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    2. definately your loss! I am 59 but I think I could rock your world pretty good.Of course I am also in my gay adolescent phase. LOL

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  9. I too am curious about the heart breaking message.
    Sending good thoughts toward whatever is going on there. And also to your finalization of things with your wife, your new school year, your coming out to your students, and especially towards your medical situation.
    XOXO
    Victor

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  10. Thanks, everyone for your comments and kind support!

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