My emotions have been pretty raw recently so my most recent post listed the main things which were troubling me. Like Dr. Spo, I enjoy writing lists and find that they help provide clarity and give an incentive to deal with the items on it.
I phoned the Prostate Centre yet again to ask when my appointment will be .... rather, I left a message with their voice-mail system. It's not possible to speak to a real human being, apparently.
I made a bold move and cashed in a small tax-sheltered retirement plan (an RRSP in Canada) which I set up before I married. I used some of the money to pay my share of my kids' university tuition. The rest will be used to prepare my new home for winter .... for jobs such as upgrading the insulation.
I phoned my wife to ask her to look at and approve our draft Divorce Agreement so we could file for divorce. I told her would NOT go through another school year with this hanging over my head especially if I ended up undergoing cancer treatment. She said, yes, she would do it soon and then started to cry: "It's hard... it's just so hard!"
I shed a few tears myself and told her I was sorry for everything. And yes, it is very hard to end a marriage after 21 years when we truly did love each other and in fact, still care about each other. It's a tragic situation ..... she's just not ready to move on.
I haven't shared my bed with a man for over a week since my son's job ended for the summer; he's been here all the time with some friends so I can't host. Darn!
But I've had several late-night encounters this week in the back seat of my car with some slim, handsome, intelligent
By the way, all the young men messaged me; I NEVER message them. It usually starts after dark with a POF.com message: "u wanna hook up?" I ask them a few basic "safety" questions; "Which neighbourhood do you live in?", "Do you attend ______ College?" or "What sort of job do you do?"