Thursday, February 10, 2011

Shrinkage + Frostbite

The start of my marathon training is going extremely well. Knees, don't fail me now!! I am starting out very slowly, running about 3 - 4 miles per week. I will increase my mileage by about 10% per week until June.

I hope to be running about 20 miles per week when I start my 'official' training schedule which will run from June 12 to the marathon on October 9.   (I'm following the First-time and Casual Marathon training schedule.)  The biggest mistake is to increase your mileage too quickly; the risk is an over-use injury.

My theory is that every step taken during marathon training is like depositing money in the bank. Then during the marathon, you withdraw all of it, all at once. Also: in my experience, once you commit to a training schedule, you cannot miss a training run regardless of exhaustion, rain or freezing temperatures. If you miss even a single training run, it becomes a slippery slope and before you know it, you've missed too many to be properly conditioned for the race.

Temperatures here have been chilly, about -20 to -26 C. My neighbour is from SE Asia in the tropics who says, "It's not just the fact that it's -30 below, it's the HOWLING WIND!!! Add wind and it feels like -35 or -40 C. As much as I love winter, training in winter is a hassle. Pitch darkness, icy roads, difficult to dress correctly and a risk of eskimo lung.

As every northerner knows, your appendanges are at most risk of getting frostbite... fingers, earlobes, toes, your nose.... Half-way through a 3-mile run last night, I started to feel sharp pain in my pork sword, ... trouser snake ... dangling appendage. OMFG!!! FROSTBITE!! I competed the rest of the run through the neighbourhood at a sprint, both hands shoved down the front of my pants cupping my manhood. Undignified or what!

The next day it was even colder. I wore two layers of spandex shorts with a plastic grocery bag shoved in between to cut the wind and a pair of windbreaker pants over all.

An aside: I should try this look in the summer without the wind pants; the plastic bag gives a most impressive bulge... it might be one way to attract the attention of the closeted, hottie DILFs in the neighbourhood. (more about them in another post)


  1. Did I read that right? You are out running around when the wind chill is -40? What do you do about your face, and especially your nose?

  2. We wear a neck tube covering your face up to the eyes... this also helps to prevent breathing in icy cold air. I think "wind chill" is for wimps who like to exaggerate how cold it is; if you wear something to block off the wind, then the wind chill effect disappears.

  3. this all sounds quite not sensible. may I suggest better past times, like good books in hot tubs?

  4. How about a good book in a hot tub after a chilly run? Bliss!! My reward!

    Actually, only the extremely "hard core" runners are running in these frigid temperatures; I only do it because I must start my marathon training, now. In any case, winter for us is essentially over, except the snow will be around for another +2 months. Today is a balmy 30 F.


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