Closeted DILFs

Things are slightly calmer here. There hasn’t been any yelling, blaming or name-calling for a while, although the underlying bitterness remains, which may be forever. Our infrequent conversations are now business-like, if quite chilly, centred on the kids and have dealt with minor issues only. All have ended with an agreement and a "Thank you." Baby steps! However, we are nowhere near ready to talk about any of the really difficult issues.....more time is needed!  Many difficult challenges lie ahead.

My neighbourhood is full of hottie DILFs, all 35 - 50 years old. The majority are incredibly fit and sexy. As is typical in British Columbia, the DILFs are triathletes, runners, hockey players, skiers, long-distance cyclists, the lot.

A bonus: these athletic DILFs have reached the age where they are not shy about wearing spandex tights or shorts for their athletic activities or even Speedos for triathlon training. Eye-candy galore! Also, a major distraction as you drive by in the car, keeping one eye peeled for any jiggling action.

As a "hockey dad", I’ve attended countless games and neighbourhood events for many years surrounded by the DILFs. It has only has been very recently with my heightened "gay awareness" that it is suddenly obvious to me that at least a couple of them are in the same married/gay/bi/with kids category as me.

How can I tell the closeted DILFs * are different from the straight Dads?

• They wear tighter-than-usual jeans, cut to accentuate the bulbous groin region and ass. These jeans are always the coolest, sexiest ones such as Diesel or some Italian label (hard to come by in this hick town). The straight neighbourhood Dads only wear the cheapest possible saggy-assed "Dad jeans" from stores like "Bob’s Bargain Basement."
• The closeted DILFs are incredibly well groomed in every area, especially hair, while the straight Dads usually sport a rumpled look and probably forgot to brush their hair that morning.  Sometimes, the straight Dads suffer from rampant nose hair.
• Although they are often with their kids and lumpy little wives, the closeted DILFs are constantly checking out the other guys. Since I am also checking them out, we have, on occasion, locked eyes.... but in more of a nervous, deer-in-the-headlights manner. The wife and kiddies are near by, after all!

Last month, I passed one of the sexiest, youngest, closeted DILFs in the grocery store.... he with his snotty-nosed kids in tow. We locked eyes very briefly as we passed in mid-aisle. Seconds after passing, we both simultaneously turned around to check out each other. Gotcha! His checking-out of me was very blatant, almost aggressive and absolutely unmistakable. He twisted his neck and torso around so sharply I thought he might give himself whiplash........ it made my day!

Will I ever hook up with one of these sexy, closeted neighbourhood DILFs?  NO!!!!  The expression, "Don’t shit in your own bed." applies here.

* some of these observations may be based on wishful thinking, but I don’t see how I can be entirely wrong.

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