Fat cock pitching a tent

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Gayest songs of all time

I've no time for a proper post as my kids and I have been preparing for a +2,000 mile road trip later this week.  Also, there have been some positive developments in my divorce  journey which I've been busy with;  I don't want to jinx our progress so I'll blog about them later.

I love listening to anne marie's music clips on her new blog From My Brain to My Mouth.   A blast from the past for me!

So, here are my own picks for the Top Five Gayest Songs of All Time.   Well, they're probably not the gayest "of all time" ..... they all came out between 1976 - 1984, when I was in my mid-teens to early 20s.   Right now, we all know why I loved these videos so much!  But at the time, I was absolutely clueless about my gayness.

Tell me, what do think of my gay song choices?  Are there any others which you might suggest?

The Seven Year Itch

Jaysonstreet of Guys Like Me recently posted the best analysis I've ever read on the dilemma faced by gay and bi men who are married to women.   Please read his post and this excellent NY Times article on the subject.  

"They fall in love with their wives, they have children, they're on a chemical, romantic high, and then after about seven years, the high falls away and their gay identity starts emerging,"

Only the timing varies.  I was in the third group described by Jayson, going into marriage at the age of twenty-eight with "no prior self awareness of an attraction to men."  In seven short years, I went from having a true emotional and physical attachment to my wife, complete with feelings of lust,  to having those feelings  decline and eventually disappear altogether.  As Jayson wrote, "Soon we find we are masturbating to thoughts or images of men, and then confirming our secret yearnings with porn."    It's who I really was.

My first really obvious gay Ahah! moment came at the age of thirty-five (married exactly seven years!), sitting poolside at a big city hotel with my wife and kids, aged five, three and one.   We were joined at the  pool by a dozen or more young men who had been competing in an international soccer tournament.   

I can't adequately describe the inner turmoil, my conflicting feelings of confusion, lust and fear as the French team settled down near us.  They were all beautiful, athletic young men in their early 20s, with beefy soccer player thighs and flat bellies, all wearing black Speedos which showed off their delicious curves, front and back.   I felt an unrelenting ache in my balls, a slight stiffening of my cock and my stomach which was twisted in knots as I tried to conceal my interest from my wife sitting beside me.  

I could never have imagined that in 15 years, I would be having sex with young men like these (but perhaps less athletic) on  a regular basis.   

This Sex in the City II clip of the Australian rugby team brings it all back to me.   I love watching those bouncing cocks... mesmerizing!

Dogably Pawfect Saturday

Three out of four of these pictures came from menandtheirdogs.tumblr.com.   They're for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.     (Note:  one day after it's been posted,  no one has commented on the last pic.... hmmm)

My emotions have been pretty raw recently so my most recent post listed the main things which were troubling me.    Like Dr. Spo, I enjoy writing lists and find that they help provide clarity and give an incentive to deal with the items on it.

Such as:
I phoned the Prostate Centre yet again to ask when my appointment will be .... rather, I left a message with their voice-mail system.   It's not possible to speak to a real human being, apparently.

I made a bold move and cashed in a small tax-sheltered retirement plan (an RRSP in Canada) which I set up before I married.  I used some of the money to pay my share of my kids' university tuition.  The rest will be used to prepare my new home for winter .... for jobs such as upgrading the insulation. 

I phoned my wife to ask her to look at and approve our draft Divorce Agreement so we could file for divorce.  I told her would NOT go through another school year with this hanging over my head especially if I ended up undergoing cancer treatment.  She said, yes, she would do it soon and then started to cry:  "It's hard... it's just so hard!"

I shed a few tears myself and told her I was sorry for everything.   And yes, it is very hard to end a marriage after 21 years when we truly did love each other and in fact, still care about each other.   It's a tragic situation .....  she's just not ready to move on.

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I haven't shared my bed with a man for over a week since my son's job ended for the summer;  he's been here all the time with some friends so I can't host.  Darn!

But I've had several late-night encounters this week in the back seat of my car with some slim,  handsome, intelligent boys young men aged 21 - 23.   Each young man brought his lovely hard cock, good personal hygiene and a sense of fun and sexual adventurousness.   I just love how they are so intense, so vocal and just so "into" our encounter. 

By the way, all the young men messaged me;  I NEVER message them.   It usually starts after dark with a POF.com message: "u wanna hook up?"    I ask them a few basic "safety" questions;  "Which neighbourhood do you live in?",  "Do you attend ______ College?"  or  "What sort of job do you do?"

And then I message back: "I'll pick you up in 30 minutes.... I drive a _______"  and off I go!   Every encounter has been excellent --- no regrets--- and I've learned something each time.

Rowers' cocks and balls in spandex

I'm feeling highly unsettled this week:

• I don't know when my prostate appointment will be despite the nagging phone call I made to the doctor's office. 
• My wife hasn't yet given me her final verdict on our draft Separation Agreement after 2.5 months despite much prodding from me.   Given her history of reneging on past agreements, I won't be able to relax until our divorce is final.
• The conflict between my son and wife continues to worsen and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

• My wife and I had an argument about a conflict she's having with our daughter.  I refused to referee and force our daughter to toe the line.  They're both adults and anyway, my wife was being unreasonable. Quel surprise.
• I still need to talk to my son about my hopes of "coming out" at our high school this year. 
• I am DREADING the start of my school year in less than two weeks.
• After months of silence, my Special Guy initiated a POF chat several times this month.   These haven't ended well but I'm not yet ready to blog about him.
• I'm scrambling to pay my share of my daughters' university tuition.  Cash flow problem!

To cheer myself up, how about some pictures of some amazing rowers' bulges from gear-bulges.blogspot? .... cocks and balls straining the spandex to its limit.  Gentlemen, which rower is your favourite?

Raybeard's comment on my Olympic rowers' spandex bulges post "......AND HE'S WAY OUT IN FRONT!" is particularly true of Henrik Rummel's podium erection (first picture, second bulge from the left) which went viral.   Rummel says he didn't have an erection, but I don't believe him!

Outsports.com explains that  the one-piece body suits worn by rowers are specifically designed to hold a rower's balls up front.  Otherwise, they'd be squished by the rower's beefy thighs and pumping action of the seats which slide back and forth on a track.

So, yes, rowers' spandex suits do display the goods better than other athletic gear,   They "lift and separate" the boys in the same way that a push-up bra does for a woman's girls.

Disappointing hookup

The pics decorating this post are completely random with no particular source or theme.

50-ish Business Man had been sending me increasingly explicit POF messages and pictures for several months, all initiated by him.  Exciting!  The anticipation!!  Business Man was married to a man in another city but it was not an open relationship.  He claimed he didn't normally hook up.  "I'm very picky about who I have sex with."

Finally, he was to be in my town on business and proposed a hookup.   I asked to bring along Hunky 22 year old for a threesome.  I did this because Hunky and I had been looking for a threesome opportunity and partly because I wasn't sure if I'd be sexually attracted to Business Man.

We met in the lobby of the fanciest hotel in town.  He was shorter than me and quite dumpy, very quiet as we waited for Hunky to show up.  Hunky had seemed quite excited about the threesome, messaging me and Business Man several times during the day to confirm his attendance.  He was normally highly punctual and reliable, but phoned me as we waited in the lobby to say a "crisis" had happened;  he was not available.  Whatever the "crisis" was,  I thought I heard genuine regret in Hunky's voice.  

Business Man and I went to his room, had a glass of red wine and lay, fully clothed, on the bed for a very long time.  We were like two corpses side-by-side on a mortuary slab as I continued to force the conversation along.  I finally grabbed his hand and started to cuddle him while he continued to be unresponsive.  I was thinking, "Why are we here, buddy?"

Finally we shed our clothes and we made out for a while but I just wasn't feeling it.  Although I was rock hard, he never got harder than a semi which was very off-putting to me.  He was a pretty good kisser, if a a bit slobbery and with a faint whiff of bad breath.  His blowjob was so tentative that I couldn`t feel it;  I had to look down to check that he was even doing it.

Our encounter was just boring.... no aggression or sexual  interest on his part at all.  After 30 minutes, I said perhaps I should be leaving.   It was probably a relief to both of us.

What a disappointment!!  It reminded me somewhat of this recent post by Explorer Jack.
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I was so bummed out buy this pathetic hookup experience!   In fact, by the next day (Sunday afternoon) I ignored the invitation of the sexy 21 year old university student to come to his apartment which we`d previously arranged.   To make matters worse, I didn`t message Sexy Student with any excuses or explanations for my no-show.

I must message him soon with an apology but I wouldn`t blame him for giving up on me.  This was the second time I`d turned him down...

Blowjob on a perfect physical specimen

An actual profile pic of my blowjob guy, except
his abs were MUCH more defined in real life.

Here are a few hot guy - cute dog pictures for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday.

I'd been POF-messaged numerous times for a hook-up by a cute, sweet, slim 21 year old university student and asked him, "WHY??? Why do you want to hook up with someone 30 years older?" His response: "Most gay guys my age prefer guys your age." Really!! I do not believe him.   In this story, I'll call him Sexy Student. 

Also this week, I'd been messaged by a gorgeous, "straight" 24 year-old aspiring model who's training to be on the MMA (mixed martial arts) circuit. I'll call him ABSolutely Handsome.    That's him in the picture to the left.  But that must be an old pic; in real life, he was MUCH more cut, defined and bulked-up.

 I was on POF last night at suppertime when ABSolutely Handsome messaged me: "im so horny im gonna burst.  u wanna give me a bj?"  I had already turned him down earlier in the week  (I was too tired!) so we agreed that I would pick him up at 10:00 pm after dark.   Minutes later, Sexy Student messaged me and invited me to his apartment.

Shit, shit, shit!!!!  I really, really wanted to be with Sexy Student but I am not the sort of girl to cancel out on a commitment, so I said that I already had a hookup  arranged.  Embarrassing, to have to admit that I was such a slut!  "Could I take a raincheck?"   After much planning, Sexy invited me over for a Sunday afternoon romp.

At 10:00 pm, ABSolutely Handsome jogged up to my car.  (his parents were told he was going for a run).   6'-1", wavy blonde hair, far more handsome and with a finer body than his picture suggested.  OMFG!   He turned out to be a sweet young man, chatty as hell and very friendly in a puppy-dog-ish way.  Irresistible!

He told me that he was not into guys;  it's just that his girlfriend refused to give him a blowjob.  "Have you done this before?"  I asked.  "You're the third guy who's done this to me."  Hmmm......

We drove to a deserted wilderness area which I knew well ...... it was near my former home.  He unfolded his lanky limbs in the back seat of my compact car and I pulled down his jogging shorts.  A beautiful already-hard cock sprang into view.   I made him take his shirt off so I could run my hands up and down his abs,  an 8-pack at least!    One thing about these young men, they really take direction well!

He turned out to be quite anxious and inexperienced:  "What do think of my cock... isn't it kind of small?  (6.0 inches... I told him it was beautiful, perfectly average, nice girth and beautiful mushroom head)   Am I hard enough?"  (God yes!!)

In the middle of my expert blow job, he asked me hesitantly, "Do you know what a tossed salad is?"  I laughed: "Yes!"   "Can you give me one?"   Very surprising but of course, I agreed..... very awkward to do in the back seat of a compact car!    Even more surprising;  during the blowjob, I inserted a lubed finger into his a**hole.  Not only he accepted it, I could feel his cock getting harder still as he clamped around my finger.   A "straight" future bottom-boy?

The blowjob went well and his cock throbbed for what seemed like forever.  I wiped his cock clean and put his shorts back on him.  On the drive home, we chatted.  He works out six days a week and will be moving to Vancouver soon to join a junior-league MMA  circuit.  He said, earlier this year,  he went to a hookup with a guy his age and there were six other guys already there, also his age.  "That's why I don't get blowjobs from anyone my age anymore,  I don't want everyone to know."

He said goodbye with a sweet smile and a thank you.

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In two hours, I'm heading to the fanciest hotel in town to meet with a bear-ish 52 year old in town on business.  We've messaged on POF for months and have chatted on the phone a few times.   Since we both wanted a threesome, I offered to bring Hunky 22 year old along who was quite enthusiastic!    I'm quite apprehensive about this, my first threesome.

How's that for courage?  Showing up with a sexually-adventurous, hunky young man, 30 years my junior, much more handsome and with a much bigger cock than me?   I hope I don't end up being a wallflower at my own threesome!