Thursday, October 3, 2013

TMI: How do you ....?

Last week, I received  an anxiety-producing notice from Revenue Canada that my 2011 tax return was being reviewed.   During our coming out / separation / divorce drama, we had not filed returns in four years (yikes!) but my wife finally submitted them last May.

My former wife received  a similar notice this week and she phoned a Revenue Canada auditor in Ottawa to investigate further.  Despite her erratic behaviour with me, she can be highly professional and impressive in business matters.  

She reported back to me (via texting) that she made a "big mistake" on our 2011 returns regarding which parent claimed which of the kids as dependants.  She also felt that this can fixed without too many repercussions.   Admitting a mistake is a huge step for her, because throughout our marriage, she was always right, all the time, no matter what the situation. 

So..... I faxed a consent form to Revenue Canada allowing her to represent me in her discussions because the solution involves both of our returns. I am confident that she will behave with integrity regarding our tax situation. Having said that, I can't wait to do my 2013 taxes as a divorced person with absolutely no involvement from her. None of this hassle!

Too Much Information is a regular feature by Sean of Just a Jeep Guy which I always look forward to each week. 

1. Your coffee?  I make coffee by the cup, using a teaspoon or more of espresso coffee (finely powdered, dark roast, Italian) in a mug of boiling water.  I add some hot milk or evaporated milk from a can but no sugar.  It is very strong so I limit myself to 2 - 4 per day.  That`s still plenty, I know, but caffeine is my only vice.

2. Your sandwich cut? In half, square or diagonal? Crust or no crust?  Usually cut in half, but I'm not religious about it.  I'm not so prissy that I would ever cut the crusts off my sandwiches and anyway, I like eating the crusts. 

3. Your tea? I prefer good-quality loose-leaf black tea, usually Darjeeling made in a pre-heated teapot or cup, with milk but no sugar, please. I`ll drink a couple cups per day.

I don't like tea bags as they're made from the tea leaf dust left over during the manufacturing process and have little flavour. 

4. Your alcoholic beverages?  I`m not much of a drinker. If I`m out with friends, I will usually have one beer, either directly from the bottle or some interesting, dark beer on tap. 

I enjoy hard liquor of any sort, especially rum or rye (Canadian) whiskey, but I always regret it about an hour later.  I always end up feeling nauseous .... something I believe is a hold-over from my cancer treatments.

I really enjoy a glass of red wine when it`s offered to me but know nothing about it:  whether it is "oakey" or "floral" or whatever.

5. Your ice-cream served: cup, cone, soft or hard? When I'm out, it's hard ice cream in a cone.  At home, it's in a cup with some great topping on it:  chocolate melted in coffee or bananas sauteed in butter and brown sugar, loaded with calories.  I try not to keep ice cream in the house any more;  my girlish figure just won't allow it.

6. Your hair–long or short? Up or down? Straight or curly? Permed or natural?  My hair is straight, thin, receding, cut short and is dishevelled most of all of the time. There are cowlicks sticking up in some places and lying flat in others. I'd never change my hair colour. I rarely even brush my hair so why would I spent the time and expense of colouring it?  Besides, I like the colour it is; dark blonde in the winter and sun-streaked in the summer.

7. Your cell phone?  I've had a Samsung Galaxy III for about six months and I LOVE it.... but I'm not yet addicted.

8. Your computer? A 3 year-old Toshiba laptop, a present from my wife one year after my coming-out and our separation. (!)

9. Your web browser?  Internet Explorer.... at home and at work.  It does the job.

10. Your car?  I have a silver 2006 Corolla .... it's fairly Plain Jane but I really like it and find it extremely reliable.  But if I won a lottery, I'd get a more exciting vehicle... such as a Jeep in fire-engine red.
Your sex? Position? How often? Mild or wild? One or more?

Why do I feel so awkward answering this after discussing my sexual escapades for nearly three years online?  My sex life has had several distinct phases:

I lost my straight virginity at 28 with my wife, but before we were married.  I didn't have any desire to have sex throughout my teens and 20s.  But what I didn't realize is this: I just wasn't interested in having sex with a woman

Such was my ignorance, I would never have imagined that a man could have sex with another man. ... What would two men do together in bed?

I was painfully shy and severely lacking in self-confidence.  As well, I was a cancer patient for nearly a year when I was 20 and dealt with the after-effects for many years later so that put me 'out of circulation.'

In our first year of marriage, my wife and I had sex every day (every day!!!) and sometimes more than once on weekends. I was a horny 29-year-old at the time.

This is why I had such a tough time admitting I was gay.   It's not possible for a man to enjoy having sex with a woman every day for a year and still be gay.  Right?

After our third child was born, our sex life stopped entirely.  I was just too busy raising three kids under the age of four; doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, doing recreational activities with the kids, as well as starting my teaching career . 

Much energy was spent dealing with my wife's erratic behaviour and her never-ending conflicts with friends, neighbours, her work colleagues, her family, my family and of course, me.

After I lost my gay virginity just over two years ago under the sweetest circumstances ever, I've been very busy and have hooked up with many, many guys.  So I would say I have sex often.   But I need an on-going sexual relationship with a man who I love ..... only then will I understand how really special sex can be.

Position?  I want to experience everything.

Mild or wild?  I love cuddling in bed, kissing my special man sweetly and giving massages.  But I'd also like it wild if my partner was so inclined. 

I was with a shy aboriginal dude, 28, about seven weeks ago.  It turned into an erotic wrestling match, instigated by him, with each of us trying to dominate and pin the other to the bed.  It was really hot, actually, but I easily won.  He was also a (gentle) biter, also a first for me and something which I found rather amusing.

More than one?  I'd love a threesome but so far, I've only had one that was pretty terrible.  When I'm with my future husband one day (a guy around my age), I think it would be really fun to invite some hunky young dude in to our bed, as sort of a hard-cocked play toy. 


  1. "my girlish figure just won't allow it" - tee hee!

  2. Your comment about having sex with a woman meaning you couldn't be gay is so right. It isn't who we have sex with that determines our orientation. I think it is who we WANT to have sex with. For example, when we are younger, we can have sex with just about anything. Stories abound about having sex with one person while fantasizing about another after all. And due to stigma of gay sex, many of us delude ourselves ( I know I did) into thinking we aren't gay if we can have sex with a woman even if we had to picture a naked guy in our mind. Hopefully that era is coming to an end.

    1. I hope so too! I still meet plenty of "straight" young guys who want to experiment with me but still think they can have a LTR with a woman.

      I always tell them that truly straight men in their 20s do NOT arrange secret meetings for sex with old farts like me.

  3. And here I used to think I was the only one who was blase about having sex with a woman. I knew I should want to, but didn't. I was also clueless when young women were coming on to me as friends kept telling me.

    1. That topic sounds like another blog post by itself! My experience was the same as yours. In my 20s, I was constantly hit on by women but I never took any of them up on their offers. I just didn't have any sexual desire for them but I didn't understand why.

  4. I have a Keurig coffee maker - one cup at a time. Use Columbian Supremo - dark and bold.

    1. That sounds great! Who wouldn't want to have a dark, bold Columbian in the morning. :-)

  5. "What would two men do together in bed?" Happily, you not only found out, you've become heavily experienced. Threeways, either with your own partner and a guy you both fancy, or with you joining an established couple can really be fantastic. The key is for all of you to be into it, that each man wants to be involved with and to pleasure both of the others. Threeways with two guys heavily involved and one just watching are not the way to go.

    1. Thanks for that excellent, experienced advice. You are my online gay mentor!

  6. Love your answers. Thank you for sharing so much about yourself. I, too, was a late bloomer (27), but since then, with the exception of one year, I have been fairly obsessed and explored almost everything. Shine on! - Uptonking from Wonderland Burlesque

  7. you are the first one I have read who did this meme and had a 'proper' tea answer!

    1. Proper tea drinkers of the world unite!

  8. There's a chance you are eligible for a complimentary Samsung Galaxy S8.


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