Married, in denial, and craving cock

How about some random pics of guys bulging in their Speedos?  They're completely unrelated to this post, but what the hell, eh?

It's been an eventful week!  My son seriously dislocated his shoulder but luckily, surgery wasn't needed.  He's doing well but will be off work for the rest of the summer. 

But when dealing with my former wife, there are two aspects to every problem:  (1) dealing with the issue at hand, be it a flat car tire or a leaky roof and (2) dealing with my wife's hysterical and angry over-reaction to every problem.

This episode triggered a wave of vitriolic texting, with her being oppositional and paranoid at every turn, blaming me for being a bad parent.  With someone as emotionally fragile as my ex-wife, the slightest of life's challenges will push her over the edge.  My daughter told me reassuringly:  "Don't worry, Mom is just as bad when she's texting with us. Why do you think that I refused to get a cell phone until three months ago?"

Most unusually, I didn't log onto any gay hookup sites last night.  I've had more than my fill of hookups in recent days!  Instead, I spent the night tucked up with my two little dogs watching a DVD while a thunderstorm raged outside.  

This week, I've had a sweetest encounter with Big Red, tucked in bed for hours, kissing sweetly, eating home-made pizza, cuddling and doing the nasty.  I visited Spanking Dude at his apartment for another strenuous-but satisfying encounter.  Afterwards, he texted me to say that he could tell that I really didn't like spanking him (and he's right!) but he still wanted to see me even without the spanking.  He said that I could pleasure him like no one else and I must say, he's excellent at reciprocating.

I also had an unusual upswing in requests for hookups from married men, all in their 40s with little or no experience with men.  It's vacation time in our little waterfront community when the population increases by ten-fold!

Three of men ended up in my bed, arriving at my house under the cover of darkness between 10:30 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. and on different nights.

In our pre-hookup exchange of messages, Nervous Married Guy anxiously said:  "I wouldn't know what to do?"  and "What will you do to me when I get there?"  I texted him the exact sequence of events which would unfold:

1. Meet Nervous Guy as he arrives in the inky blackness of our rural country road.  Tip: carry a flashlight!
2. Walk without talking to the Love Nest. 
3. Nervous Guy lies down fully clothed while I take off his socks, shoes and s-l-o-w-l-y unzip his jeans as foreplay and remove his pants and underwear, fondling all the while.  I love this last part:  it's like unwrapping a Christmas present!
4. I take off my own clothing and proceed with pleasuring him, sucking, stroking and licking his cock, balls and asshole and rubbing my body against his.
5. Take any special sexual requests from the Nervous Guy and do them!  "Straight" guys always ask for ass play!  LOL

Nervous Guy was a very youthful 41, with a slim, lightly furred body, small cock* and buzzed head.  He looked exactly like the hottie in the lower left picture, wearing Speedo with the blue-squares pattern.  Perfect!  

* I'm no size queen when it comes to blowjobs.  I love the fact that I can give the entire smaller cock a 'working-over' all at once which isn't possible with a plus-sized cock.

He lay back with his eyes tightly closed and moaned, squirmed and thrust his hips up as I worked my magic on his soft cock.  It was only when he gave me an energetic handjob and a surprisingly good blowjob that he became rock hard.

The unmistakable tip-off!  Yes, Virginia, this guy really is gay!  Very often, I've seen the semi-limp, nervous cocks of in-denial men instantly become rock hard  when they touched mine.
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He loosened up considerably and in a guttural voice, asked me to kiss him all over his body:  his nips, pits, ass crack, inner thighs and all along the small of his neck.  It was extremely hot, actually, especially when I gave him a bear hug, squeezing him tight with my arms and thighs, grinding into him ... and he did the same to me.  But so typical of a "straight" guy, I was not allowed to kiss his lips.  That might prove that he was really gay!  "Next time," he said.

After he came with my blowjob, he asked me about my history:  my wife`s discovery of gay porn on my laptop, my divorce  progress and my gay journey.   I strongly recommended he see a therapist who will help him find an answer to the question:  "What do I want?"

Why do I entertain these married men, becoming a party to their infidelity as "The Other Man"?  I have enormous sympathy with the trap they find themselves in: that of a married, closeted, in-denial married man with children, facing the tearing-apart of his family and possible financial ruin.

I strongly believe that they actually need to experience sex with a man in order to decide (and admit) if they're actually gay.   This can only happen before they make any decisions regarding their marriage.  And where would they find a safer, more compassionate, skilled, mature and discreet gay man than me?   Also, I have gone through this journey only a few years ago so I fully understand their rollercoaster of emotions, desires, fear and guilt.