Right now, I'd describe myself as a highly-motivated but reluctant bottom. I'm determined to bottom successfully and experience pleasure from it. We've done it now several times and I haven't completely gotten into it.
I blogged about my first "sort of" bottoming experience here and another more successful experience here. Recently, my guy didn't want to continue because he worried that he was hurting me. I tried to assure him that I wasn't in pain. He wasn't convinced when I described myself as experiencing "less discomfort" rather than actual pain. After each bottoming experience it would take me several days to recover 'down there.'
So far, I have not experienced anything remotely resembling pleasure while being a bottom. However, I very much like the idea of having my guy in me and the pleasure it gives him.
A few points:
- I need to achieve a higher state of relaxation and warm-up before bottoming. Right now, I'm rather dreading it.
- Stress is a big factor here, I think. Now that I am soon to get sole ownership of my new home, I am much less stressed-out, but has only happened very recently.
- One issue is that we're both inexperienced to different degrees. It would be helpful to be with a really experienced top, but I really have no desire to surrender my bottom to some stranger.
- I think a important factor is the position used. Which is best for a tight, inexperienced virgin? Doggie Style? Missionary Position? Bent over a couch? I was told this last one open you up the best, but I haven't put it to the test.