Thursday, June 9, 2011

Small Town Pride

Later this month, I will be attending a major Gay Pride event in my small town. Right now, only my family and a very few closest friends know I'm gay.   At the Pride event, I expect to see some colleagues and mutual friends, past and present.

It will be my first "public outing" in a very small way and I'm a bit nervous about it, for the possible impact my outing may have on my kids.   However, I must push ahead with my gay journey;  I've come so far and don't want to lose momentum now!

All the community LGBT groups will be there, so at the very least, I plan to buy a Pride T-shirt and maybe some other Pride items. More importantly, I plan to talk to the representatives of all the different groups and find out about some local gay-oriented social, sports and/or organizational groups I can join in September. Wish me luck!

Based on the comments on my last post and some private e-mails, it seems that many of you want to see me get laid!   RG best summed up my feelings on this, "You are a boiling cauldron of pent-up sexual frustration and you need to explore and experience what it's like to have sex with another man."

It's not that easy, however. Right now I am completely exhausted, a bit lot stressed-out, concerned about my financial future and have my kids with me most of the time. 

Another stressor: my wife and I have had some extremely difficult conversations recently about our respective homes.  Although I am very much "on the mend" and my pain is much reduced, the 'disability management officer' at my workplace tells me I won't be allowed to return to work until July at the earliest.

I have a very clear idea of what is best for me regarding when to start my gay sex life.  I will take to heart these other comments as well:
  • Just take it easy Buddy. There's no rush.
  • Take it slow!
  • Follow whatever path is right for you!

I do have a plan, however.  By September, I hope to be able to provide a full report on:  "What Who I did during my summer holidays."


  1. You're right in that you will know when the time is right to venture into the next step. I hope your pains will be reduced and you'll be at peace.

  2. Sounds like you have everything well in hand. Ahem. Good for you for being calm and level-headed during such a difficult time. Your patience and attentiveness to your family will pay off in the long run. Do I sound like a cross between Dear Abby and a cheap newspaper horoscope? I think I need more coffee...

  3. Hi, I've been following your blog for a while, but thisis my first time commenting - Just wanted to wish you the best of luck at your first Pride outing. I believe you'll find the experience liberating, validating and enriching!


  4. Pride events are very fun. You'll be surprised how many gay parents are there with their kids.

  5. Yeah, just take everything at your own pace. Let yourself get better physically first and hopefully the stress level will go down.

    In the meantime let us know how the pride thing goes. I am planning to go to some events for the first time during Pride Week in my city next week. Will be scary, but fun I hope.

  6. Everyone: thanks for commenting and for your support!

    Jim: love the new profile pic. Showing some skin....woof!

    WCS: I'm trying to strike balance between meeting the needs of my kids and increasingly, making sure that my needs (and I don't just mean sexual) are looked after as well.

    James: exciting! A reader from Brazil!! Thank you for your kind words. I love your illustrations on your art blog. Everyone, please check out James' work!

    Paul: have fun at your Pride event! I had planned to attend a 'big city' Pride Parade this year but my injury prevents this. This year, I will only be at my Pride event for less than one hour so I don't make my pain worse.

    Cubby: I'm attending a "Family Pride" event so there will be lots of kids there. Cool!

  7. What a great step. Just have fun with it.

  8. Best of luck. Quite a big step. Keep us posted!

  9. anne marie in phillyJune 10, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    please tell us what you did and what you saw, since everyone's pride parade is different.

    You will do just fine, buddybear...I dare say there will be other "first-timers" at the celebration also! just be your sweet self! smooches!

  10. Enjoy yourself... and follow your instinct. Also feel better buddy.

  11. Perhaps you should flit around on the sides as it were; viz. watch and feel good you 'went' and then next year, be more part of it.
    Make a sign saying "I am finally out!" and join the parade - you will outshine the drag queens!

  12. Have a great first pride and do what feels natural man. Have fun.


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