Friday, May 20, 2011

Spandex, revisited

Me in spandex ski tights.
I've rearranged the pics in last week's  "Spandex:  God's Gift to Gay Men" poll in the order of popular vote.  Wrestler Tommy Rowlands (my fav) in the grey singlet topped the poll.  The pic of me in black spandex tights, front view, captured the third last spot!  Thank goodness I didn't come in last place! What a humiliation that would have been!!

Recently, my youngest was a competitor in a  bike race of 13-14 year olds.  About half the boys wore spandex cycling tights or shorts. While I thought it was great that they had the self-confidence to wear spandex,  I kept having to avert my eyes to avoid looking at them.  Ick!!.  Their outfits were so revealing!  Awkward!  As most were younger than my own children,  I just didn't want to be forced to look at all of their jiggling bits.

The cycling coaches, however, were the most perfect specimens of manhood.  They were all  real men in the 35 - 50 age range with beefy cyclists' thighs, furry legs, amazing calves and bubble butts.  They all, to a man, filled the fronts of their spandex shorts admirably .....  and caused a definite stirring in my nether regions.

Although I understand this is a problem elsewhere, I never see fat, out-of-shape people in the grocery story or at Wal-Mart unfortunately dressed in spandex.  Maybe this is due to the cold climate,  a Canadian sense of reserve or the fact that I live in a small, fairly conservative town.
As a middle-aged man, I only wear spandex during athletic competitions or for training.  Even at these events, unless I actually have skis on my feet or am on my bicycle, I cover up quickly.   However, most of the guys in the 45 - 70 age range who I see at local events wearing spandex are very fit.  After a lifetime of cross-country skiing and  biking, their legs and butts look fantastic in spandex!!!


  1. You really want to get a close up view, get on a group and ride. I've gone many miles with a guys ass just a few feet in front of me.

  2. I think that pic of you in the snow is missing something... me!

  3. I'm with you on having a quickie cover up available. Years ago when I cycled and rowed regularly (note use of past tense), I would carry a pair of jersey gym shorts in the bicycle kit that I would slip on over the cycling bib at the rest stop (usually someting like a Starbucks). Lycra bibs are great on the bike trail, but young suburban mothers wouldn't have to explain anatomy to their inquisitive children until the mother feels that it is appropriate.

  4. anne marie in phillyMay 20, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, men!

    I feel a definite stirring in my nether regions too!

  5. Amtop: great suggestion! I live in a "cyclists' paradise", so there are groups for both highway cycling and cycling up mountains.

    Cubby: I agree!

    Will: You're funny!

    I post those pics just for you, anne marie! (and for myself!)

  6. Woo-hoo!! I voted for you!

    Do I get a prize? ;-)

  7. Have to say that those pictures are definitely distracting to look at. The cyclist site you reference made me laugh... there really is a blog for just about anything you can imagine. Perhaps I should bookmark that one though.

  8. J.R.: yes, you win the prize, but I have to deliver it in person.

    BosGuy: Thanks for visiting! My favs are the many 'wrestlers in singlets' sites.

  9. The spandex guys are fine but I'd just love to encounter that water sprite in the banner some day during a walk in the woods!


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