- Remain married, closeted, faithful and have regular sex with your wife: This is relatively easy for a young, horny married guy in his 20s to do. The closeted young married man can convince himself that he can do this forever. However, as us gay/bi married men age, it becomes increasingly difficult to deny our gay side. To make it more difficult, his wife is aging as well and becoming less attractive to him, particularly if she has had a couple of kids. Eventually, it becomes nearly impossible for the closeted bi/gay guy to have sex with his angry, aging wife. The closeted DILF faces a lifetime wasted, wanking off to gay porn in a marriage devoid of any real intimacy or love.
- Remain married, closeted, but screw around with men on the side: In my opinion, living this lie is dishonest, self-destructive for the DILF and is terribly unfair to your wife. Neither party has a real chance to move on. Being unfaithful is something (I like to think) that I would never have done... but to be completely honest, I might have. "Never" is a very long time indeed.
- Remain married and be out to your wife, but experience your gay side: I cannot imagine any woman agreeing to such an "open marriage" but I understand from http://biguyslikeme.blogspot.com/ that as many as 1 in 6 married gay guys have such an arrangement. If a couple has an honest, mutual agreement with excellent communication, more power to them! I think, how could this arrangement be emotionally healthy for anyone? For me, endless hookups with different guys and would become empty. Also, what happens when you fall in love with a regular fuck buddy and want a real relationship?
- Leave his wife and seek a divorce (coming out to her, or not): This would be extremely painful and traumatic for the entire family. The DILF faces financial ruin with child support and alimony payments. He risks being estranged from his children and others in his life. The DILF worries that his kids will be messed up. As difficult as this option is, it is the only one which allows both husband and wife to move on with their lives. Each has a chance to find true intimacy and happiness with others who they can truly love.
Up until a year ago, I was fully prepared to attempt to live the closeted option #1 for the rest of my life, although a transition into screwing around with guys on the side (option #2) was always a possibility. Although my "outing" was accidental, I now regard it as the best thing that ever happened to me. Right now, for me, option #4 is the only route for me.