Monday, February 27, 2012

A texting "oops"

 My daughter knows ....... Two weeks ago, I was texting a sweet bedtime note to my special guy.  Unfortunately, I was  in a darkened room and I'd misplaced my reading glasses.  After I pressed "send", I realized to my horror that I'd sent the text to my 17 year-old daughter!   Oops!!

My daughter texted me back, "Dad, you sent the text to the wrong person ... obviously."   The next time we met, I said to her, "I guess you figured this out already, but I'm seeing someone........ *long pause* .....  She said, "I see."

I continued, "It's time for me to find for some happiness.  I deserve it.  He makes me feel very special .... and I haven't felt this way in a very, very long time." 

She said, "That's good.  You deserve it."   She then asked a few questions:

"What's his name?"    I answered with his actual first name.

"How long have you been seeing each other?"   I lied, "A couple of months."   (actually, it's been five weeks)

"Where did you meet?" .... I said that he was related to a work colleague.  That is the truth, but we actually met on an online gay hookup site.  I couldn't tell my daughter that!

"How old is he?"   I said he was a couple of years older than me and that he has four adult children, all out of the house.  At that she laughed and said, "Oh, my!"

Then I said, "I would never ask to to keep a secret from your mother, but I'm not planning on telling her about this right now.  Mom is having a tough time coping with everything as it is."  My daughter agreed, "I think it would be better if Mom doesn't find out about this."   Another milestone in my gay journey has been crossed.... and this one wasn't hard at all!

The next Sunday,  I tidied myself up as best I could and told my daughter that I was having lunch with my friend.   "Oooo!  Lunch!  Where?"  I named a fancy hotel in town.  "Ooo!  Fancy!!" I gave hear a kiss on the cheek and headed out the door.

My daughter stopped me in my tracks, "Oh, Dad?"


"Your breath smells nice!"

Sooooo embarrassing!


  1. That's a good milestone. Even there is so much fear in me about telling people I am gay, every time I do it goes well.

    On another note, my daughter, who is 7, will sometimes sniff me and say, "You smell like a boy." It always makes me smile.

  2. anne marie in phillyFebruary 27, 2012 at 6:57 AM

    your daughter is VERY mature for her age.

    and THAT will teach you a lesson about texting; it's like the old adage "measure twice, cut once". :)

    love you!

  3. Once it becomes necessary to rely on 'readers' you really need to stay committed to using them. I see that you have learned this lesson the hard way.

    Congratulations on raising a sensitive and empathetic daughter.

  4. Good thing you were texting and not sexting.

    Kudos for your daughter. Not many teenagers would react this way even to a straight dad dating again.

  5. The text message must not have been too racy. I'm trying to imagine what it said...

  6. Sweet. You've obviously been a good dad. I wonder, do you ever fear that your kids (or anyone else) may "find" your blog? I'd be a nervous wreck...

    1. It's possible; several of my more geographically-astute Canadian readers have guessed the true location of my hometown. If my blog became known as belonging to me, I'd have to shut it down immediately out of professional necessity. It would be very damaging to me at my workplace.

      I wouldn't want my kids or other acquaintances to be reading about my sexual escapades or looking at my half-nekkid pictures. But no, I don't worry about it at all.

  7. Fantastic! Great reaction and a great daughter you have there! Must feel good.

  8. Thanks everyone! My daughter reacted exactly as I expected. She is a beautiful, compassionate, sensible young woman. Of all my children, she and I are the closest. We are also the most alike in temperment, character and personality.

    The text was fairly innocent but with some endearments in it, something like, "Good night, sweetie! Sweet dreams! I'm looking forward to our lunch tomorrow."

    Thank goodness it wasn't one of our more explicit texts!

  9. Great story! I love your daughter.

    It does get easier everytime. :-)

  10. Wonderful news.Telling my kids is my biggest fear at the moment. I am pretty sure my daughter will be the same as yours. NOW, you have to reward her by taking her to lunch to meet him. Otherwise, she might think you are ashamed of him. Unless there are good reasons not to. Like he isn't ready of course.

  11. LOL!! Oh the horror you must have felt when you realized your mistake!! I'm glad everything worked out well for you. You're daughter sounds amazing.

    My girls (7 & 11) may have two heterosexual parents but we are trying our best to teach them to be free thinking and open minded. Hopefully if one day they are told by a loved one, or friend, that they (the friend/loved one) is gay/lesbian they will shrug and say, "And?".

    The kindness found in the world starts with teaching our children at a young age to be respectful and open minded. It sounds like you've done just that with your children. Bravo Buddy Bear!


  12. Congratulations! Generally speaking I've found that people in mine and your daughter's age group tend to be more accepting than older people. I'd like to imagine that, as a group, we are more apt to place importance on who a person is than on whom they sleep with, what color they are, what country they're from, or any other peripheral trait.

    It must be a relief to you to know she's comfortable with the situation.

  13. I love receiving comments from such a wide variety of people!

    JustaMike: Thank you! Many people think my daughter is very special, including me, of course!

    Skier: Well, he isn't ready to meet my family (especially my wife!!!) but he has seen their pictures.

    CoryJo: thanks for your wonderful, positive comment! Hugs!

    BrightenedBoy: Wow! I love to hear from the young 'uns who read my blog. Yes, you're right... younger people, especially here in Canada, are much more accepting.

  14. I'm glad to see that you are crossing those milestones! It's amazing how things develop and change over time! Keep it up! It gets better and better!

  15. I delighted the news was received with the same support and understanding I received from both my daughters. They actually urged me to come out, kept hoping I'd find someone, and totally accepted him when I did. As BrightenedBoy says, the generation coming up is largely if not mostly without the debilitating, narrow prejudices of their grandparents and fewer of their parents all the time.

    And yes, you raised a great daughter!

  16. Sometimes we stumble and trip out of the closet. Most of the time this is greeted with mirth, indeed.


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