Tuesday, January 25, 2011

My Blogging Goals

My Main Goal as a Blogger:

Bisexuality:  the 'second closet.'
As I blog my story, I hope to continue to increase the blog's readership, especially by guys like me.  I think married gay guys with children face the most difficult and complicated situation of all.  So many lives could be adversely affected, regardless of the decisions we take.

I have been astonished by the number of visitors my blog has received from all over the world.  Thank you!  It's very exciting!!

The whole point of starting this blog was to receive comments, observations, shared stories  and even advice from other guys who know something about this situation.  That exchange has already started; your support has been heartening.  I also hope that by blogging my story as it unfolds, some other guy like me, somewhere in the world, will somehow benefit by reading it.

It seems that there are a great many guys, married with kids, who are carrying a secret.  As Chris said to me in an e-mail,  the secret is "something that's probably been building. A secret you wish you didn't have".... that you're attracted to other men.    Michael said,  "I continue to believe that there are far more of us than the larger public could ever guess."

Feel free to ask me questions you wish: I will answer them either in a comment, private e-mail or blog post as you prefer.  If I don't wish to answer the question, I will tell you why.


  1. Have you just deleted some previous posts?

  2. Before I started blogging a couple years ago, I knew a few guys who were married to females in the past and had kids, but we never had any sort of substantial conversations about it. But through blogging I've read the personal stories of many married gay men and now have an understanding and appreciation that I never had before. Thank you Alan for helping to show me a part of the gay world that was always in the shadows for me.

  3. Psychologists are constantly arguing if anyone really can 'realize their gay' later on or 'always knew but kept it supressed'. A handful feel sexuality can change - some times one way/sometimes another. What are you?

  4. Gosh! I really don't have the slightest idea!! My view is that the sexuality of humans is far too complex to categorize so neatly. You could take 100 guys like me and get 100 different sexual evolutions, to attempt to explain why they ended up gay or whatever.

    "Always knew but kept it suppressed" .... This is definitely NOT me; I did not know. I might admit to being clueless, however. I lead such a sheltered life, growing up. I barely knew gay people even existed up until I was in my early 20s.

    "Realize their gay later on?"... this is a possibility. I did not notice a same-sex attraction in a big way until my mid-30s.

    I tend to think (and my therapist believes this) that sexuality can change and evolve slightly as you age. I'm not suggesting that anyone could go from 100% gay to 100% straight. Maybe someone could evolve from the straight-side-of-bi to the gay-side-of bi.


Please tell me what you're thinking!


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