Tuesday, April 22, 2014


This is a random thoughts post which I wrote yesterday evening after a fantastic four-day Easter weekend.

1. I cooked Easter Monday dinner for my parents and two of my kids:  spiral-cut, glazed ham, roasted veggues (potatoes, squash, sweet potatoes and carrots) and a spring mix vinagrette salad with shaved parmesan and candied pecans.

2.  My son and I spent the rest of the weekend working hard on our never-ending house renovations which I started one year ago (pictured here) and we got a lot done.

I'm determined to get our Great Room (in realtor-speak) finished before summer, complete with natural gas fireplace, my first flat screen TV, new wood flooring and the walls painted some rich, dark colour, probably a dark navy.

3. I am proud that son is so skilled at all trades; auto repair, welding, carpentry, plumbing and wiring. And if he doesn't have a particular skill, he quickly figures it out. His combination of multi-trade skills, intelligence, creativity and imagination is unbeatable.

His shop teachers shake their head in amazement when they tell me about his latest accomplishments at school and refer to him as the "Superstar of the Tech Department."  But he and I have been doing this sort of work all his life, so it only comes naturally to him.

4.  I was not able to spend some sweet sexy time with my Sweet Brazilian Dude this weekend but he messaged me numerous times, sometimes calling me "Handsome Daddy" and saying about himself:  "I'm a bad boy."  lol We're planning to get together early this week after school. 

I am being called "Daddy" with increasing frequency by the young guys on Grindr and it amuses me. I like the playfulness of the young guys in their use of the term and I wear my Daddy label proudly.

5. But sadly, my days of being a day-to-day Daddy are quickly drawing to a close. My son (17.5 years old) has been accepted into a highly competitive commercial diving / underwater welding programme which is located around 3,000 km (2,000 miles) from home. He applied several months ago but I never seriously considered the possibility of him going away so soon ..... and so far.  But it's starting to look like it might happen.

This means that both he and my middle daughter will be away for most of the year for school. Our oldest daughter, now 22, has a busy life revolving around her culinary training school, her cook's job and friends.  I'll see her as much as possible but it certainly won't be every day.

With this new reality, I may run the risk of loneliness.  Perhaps it will be time for a regular LTR or boyfriend?  In any event, I will be able have guys over to the house whenever I want and even for regular sleepovers.  Every cloud has a silver lining....


  1. You lonely? Impossible! Once the word is out that you are living alone in the house, the men will be banging at your door all week and weekend long! Seriously! It happened to a friend of mine and I laugh as I type this!

    1. Hey Rick! Thanks for your positive outlook! I hope you're correct on this one.

    2. You'be got all these boys calling you Daddy and probably getting hard just thinking of you, and you think you'll be lonely? When my daughters we're both in college, the great years of my sex life got under way really fast!

  2. "empty nest syndrome" - the chicks are leaving the nest and flying away. you have taught them well. now it's time for YOU!

    1. Despite our difficulties, both my ex-wife and I are regarded by everyone we know as excellent parents. We were never "helicopter parents", micromanaging and hovering over the kids all the time.

      Rather; our goal from the kids' early age was to produce independent, self-sufficient adults and I am confident that we have done just that. The kids are extremely independent and we're very proud of them for that.

      Yes, I deserve a little (or a lot of) "me time": I've been trying my hardest to do that in the past four years since coming out, and with some success!

  3. The first time I was called Daddy was when I was around 34 and the guy was maybe 40 but so handsome and sweet (southern) and had a great body. Austin had asked me out and of course it went well and at the 95% mark during sex is when he said "Oh yes Daddy!" I was so shocked and surprised and it took everything I had to not laugh and to keep my concentration for the final 5%. I still get a huge smile when I think about it bc it was so funny - to me.
    Role playing is fun but I cannot do the Dad/Son thing and don't want to try - yes I have father issues and it just makes me think about him.

    As for the empty next syndrome, I think in comparison to most men it'll be harder for you in that you have such great relationships and spend so much time with your kids. On the other hand (s) you'll not have to deal with the 'I should have' guilt and I'm sure you'll be able to visit and they'll WANT to visit you.

    Maybe when you are living on your own is when you will be ready for the LTR or at least start dating. It's a good time frame in your journey. Or maybe you'll just start having Men's Parties. ;)

    PS: Lawyer dude's theory about sex makes a lot of sense. Also, I've been wondering if you have any pics of him naked. I know, I know but it's like a car accident. I want to look but I really don't want to see it.

    1. 1. I love your "Oh yes, Daddy!" story. Too funny!

      2. I don't actually do Daddy / Son role play with the young men when I'm with them, but they often refer to me as "Dad" during our online chats.

      3. It's hard to say how the Empty Nest will affect me. I was heavily involved in their upbringing, more so than my wife although she would dispute that. I read a study that the empty nest is felt LESS strongly by those men and women who were actively involved in their children's upbringing. There is no "I should have" guilt and regrets about missed opportunities.

      I prefer to think that I will feel the empty nest less strongly than other people for that reason. And definitely, the kids will like to visited by me should they end up living in another city

      4. Men's Parties such as hosted by frequent commenter Will would be a great idea!

      5. Lawyer Dude's theory about the strategies gay men use when they're having sex with women was a revelation. I know that he is correct, at least with respect to myself.

      6. No, I don't have any naked pictures of the Lawyer Dude. He's far too high-profile to do anything as foolish as sending out naked pics of himself, I hope. His huge belly is fairly common among men his age but his ass was the deal-breaker; it was just not to be believed..

  4. I do not for one minute think that loneliness will creep into your life. Longing to see more of the kids that you love so much and who love you back, maybe, but not loneliness.

    Yes, "empty nest syndrome" might creep in, but with today's technologies, at least you can Skype and talk, and all that jazz! It's not the same as sharing a saw or drill or wrench, but it's better than when we moved away from home 35 years ago, right?

    Peace <3

  5. Thanks, Jay. You're sweet to point that out!

  6. I too doubt you will be alone any more than you chose. And I think you may be right about a boyfriend once you are by yourself. It is so nice to have someone you think of being for you and you for him. Even with everything, you did enjoy the concept of marriage if not always the execution. As always good luck.

  7. Yes,BB, our gatherings are great opportunities to meet men. A gay mens' book group was s great opportunity for me maqny years ago to meet interesting, quality, outgoing guys, for example.


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