80's Short Shorts

The work of packing / fixing / moving stuff to storage continues.  I'm constantly coming across interesting things which haven't seen the light of day in many years.

Check out these mid-80s running shorts which I bought when I was about 24.   Abstract pattern, fluorescent colours, revealing split sides and made of some flimsy material.  Unbelievably, I used to go out  running  in public wearing these... near the west end of Vancouver* and through Stanley Park. 
* This was near Vancouver's gay village, although I didn't know it at the time.  I was temporarily living in my company's apartment nearby.

At the time I was very lean, lanky and lightly muscled.  Thirty pounds lighter than I am now with masses of blonde hair.   I can't help but think that I must have been constantly checked out by men as I ran by, pork sword flopping this way and that.  I was so oblivious to all things gay  (barely even knowing that gay people existed) that I would never have noticed if any guy had checked me out
.  

If I saw a handsome young man wearing these shorts today, I would walk after him just to get a closer look.  (Lately, I've been doing this a lot.... taking that extra trip down a grocery story aisle to check out some delicious hottie.)  I love the look of a jiggling cock in flimsy shorts. 

Back in the 80s, short shorts like these were considered cool and sexy. Now, one would be subject to ridicule if these were worn in public. Sure enough, I tried them on and my son walked by and said, with scorn, "Nice shorts, Dad!"

Absolut Chaos

Jason Lewis would be much hotter with some body hair.

The packing and fixing up of the house continues full steam ahead.  Parts of the job are great fun as the kids and I are rediscovering sweet things from their childhoods.  Fond memories!

Also, there is an underlying sense of dread concern, as I need to talk to my wife about scheduling a meeting with our mediator to draft our separation / divorce agreement before we sell any houses.   My lawyer told me that one of the settlement demands she made was completely unreasonable and cannot be met.... it might be a tricky conversation!

Overall, the prospect leaving this beautiful house and its memories is bittersweet.  Just yesterday, I discovered that Canadian (rye) whiskey makes the job go a lot smoother.  Whistle while you work!

Almost fainting from the effort of sucking in my gut.

Packing

Lard Arse

You must check out these self-pics posted by sexy-hot bloggers Rob,  D@vid , Bartlebi, and Kelly  (check out Kelly's eighth picture of him in the shower!  Woot!!)  You guys are inspirational!

I've stolen their idea and have posted a few pictures of myself. Right now, I'm easily 25 pounds heavier than my marathon training weight.  All that extra weight is around my middle, so there will be no shirtless pics of me for now!

I've been extremely busy working dusk-to-dawn preparing my house for sale, decluttering, moving boxes to storage, completing countless jobs and coordinating the work of some paid help.   The plan is that as soon as my wife finds a little house in town to buy, mine will go up for sale.

The real estate market here is absolutely booming and most houses are selling very quickly, sometimes at prices higher than their asking price (due to bidding wars.)  Insane!   The problem this creates is that my wife is having a great difficulty even finding a suitable house to look at.

We want to get this buying and selling of homes over with as soon as possible so that all of can us get settled into our new lives. Also, there is a concern that our real estate market might cool down with all the bad economic news in the world.

It will be said to leave the home where I've lived for over 20 years and raised our kids.  However, if our present verbal agreement holds, my new home will be in an absolutely spectacular location.   Very exciting!!!


Before any of these real estate transactions go ahead,  we need to meet with our mediator-lawyer who will help us negotiate our final separation / divorce agreement.  This will be stressful and something, I think, that we are procrastinating about.

Bored at the No-Tell Motel

For family reasons, I was suddenly called upon to drive over 600 miles across one of the most remote northern  British Columbia highways.  You can drive for hours without any sign of civilization.... endless rocks and trees, trees and rocks.  I love the wilderness and this sort of scenery but it's not everyone's cup of tea.

I stopped overnight at a motel in a small sawmill town of less than 1,000 people.   It is a very remote even by Canadian standards; with a couple hundred miles of wilderness to the next big city.

I lived for years in just such a remote small town and never gave the gay issue a thought.  Since coming out, I now look at everything with a gay perspective.  What do you do if you are growing up gay in such a small, remote, blue-collar town?  What if you're the only gay in the village? 

The answer:  "Move to the big city, young man!"

What's a bored, middle-aged gay guy to do in a tacky highway motel?  Take half-nekkid pictures of himself and post them online, of course!   I hope you like them!

NOTE:  For most of my life, I thought that my lard-arse was too big.   One of the biggest discoveries I have made since edging my way into the gay world is this:  having an ample butt is usually considered an asset in the gay world.  Who knew?

Boxers or Briefs, continued

UPDATE:  Be sure to check the pics on the first post on this topic, Boxers or Briefs?

The comments on yesterday's underwear post were just incredible!!  Thank you all!  Everyone seems to have such strong preferences about their underwear choices.   I was the most surprised at the number of guys who like freeballing (or 'going commando' for the politically correct.).... and here I thought it was just me. 

Jockstraps:  Nothing makes me feel sexier than a wearing a jockstrap, especially under jeans or dress pants.  Great frontage support and the straps cupping under my ass feel great!   I love the feeling of my butt cheeks flapping freely as I walk (my butt cheeks don’t actually flap.... but it’s just knowing that they could flap ...... )

It seems that teenage boys and young men no longer wear jockstraps for sports which require  a protective cup;  it's UnderArmour compression shorts all the way.  Jockstaps, I think, will aways remain a favourite of gay men.  My black jockstrap (pictured at left) and my white one ( front and rear views) were bought for one dollar each at a clearance outlet!  Score!!!

Freeballing:   I never miss an opportunity to  freeball.   I think freeballing is best done with track pants or shorts..... much less chafing;  you must check out D@vid's magnificent freeballing in shorts picture.  During my regular work visits to college campuses, there are sexy college boys freeballing in trackpants and shorts everywhere.  It’s a major distraction, all those dicks flopping this way and that.  I wonder if those boys know how sexy they look while freeballing; I'm starting to think that they doing it just to tease. 

Although the boy pictured at left is not my type, I wouldn't kick him out my bed either.  I'm sure he'll look better one day when he grows some hair.  (from my fave,  The Homo Adventures of Ronny and Tito)


FACT OF THE DAY:  Did you know that the longer the pendulum (ie:  a cock), the slower it will swing back in forth?  When guys are freeballing in track pants or shorts, shorter cocks will swing back and forth very quickly while longer cocks will swing back and forth more slowly.   So... now you know.  Watch for it!

Thongs:  Here's me at work today (in a bathroom with a lock on the door!):  black blazer, black Tee, dark jeans, dress shoes and a thong.  I don't mind how I look or feel wearing it, but I have yet to get used to the string wedged up into my crack.

Thongs aren't my favourite thing and I don't think average men look particularly sexy in them.  I think thongs are at their best on a stripper on-stage or some well-built young guy with an amazing bubble butt. And thongs worn by tubby, middle-aged men... please forget that idea!!!  

Warning:  do not even consider a thong if you have to bend over or squat down a lot at your job.   The string sawing back and forth against your a__hole is incredibly uncomfortable... oh, the chafing!!!

Bikini briefs: I love wearing them as they make me feel darn sexy, especially under skinny jeans.  Please beware that with some styles, you spend all day picking the bikini wedgie out of your ass.... and some are as comfortable as wearing a tourniquet.

These Ginch Gonch  bikini briefs (purchased at a thrift shop) have fun patterns but they are very uncomfortable to wear all day.  They have no ball room at all and believe me, I'm not very big.  All the 2xist  styles are by far my favourites because they have the best pouches and are extremely comfortable to wear.

Boxers or Briefs?

UPDATE:  Be sure to check out some even hotter pics on the second post on this topic, Boxers or Briefs, Continued.

This a popular (and ridiculous!) question asked breathlessly of male celebrities on talk shows and is the subject of a boxers or briefs website.

My answer would be all of the above.   Throughout my 20s and 30s, my underwear choices were strictly functional.   I had the ugliest pair of chocolate brown briefs which for some bizarre reason I decided were my “lucky underwear.”   I wore my tattered lucky underwear at every important event for over 15 years such as during many exams,  job interviews, important personal and work events and at my wedding.

Anyone snooping through my underwear drawer over the past fifteen years would  have noticed a major transformation in the types of underwear to be found there.  It was the biggest development of my early gay journey, although a hidden one because most people don't see your underwear.  As my gayness emerged,  my underwear choices became sexier and more varied.  I developed an increased body awareness and started to think about how my ass and bulbous groin region looked in underwear.  Surely I wasn't the only closeted, married gay guy to gradually develop an interest in sexy underwear?

Some types of underwear made me feel attractive;   I knew that a new pair of underwear were particularly sexy when I got an erection when I tried them on.  (a bit weird, perhaps, but it’s the truth... I still use the same criteria when deciding which pair of jeans to guy)

Boxers:   I like to sleep in boxers as there's ample ball room.  I don’t like them for daily use as the boys can get a bit sore, just hanging there without support.  Also, how do you stuff all that fabric into fitted pants?   I sometimes wear boxers with ‘relaxed fit’ jeans or jeans that are too big.  The extra fabric grabs onto your jeans and keeps them from heading south.

Union suits:   Worn very infrequently.  I only wear this one when it's very cold out and I will be outdoors all day, either working or doing winter sports such as ice fishing.  They keep your lower back nice and warm since there is no gap which occurs when you bend over wearing two-piece long underwear.  This union suit is over 50 years old;  it used to belong to my grandfather!  They can be very sexy but only if unbuttoned down to there.

In response to Cubby's comment:  Union suits were created in Utica, New York and first patented in 1868.  For years,  I have wanted to get  a red union suit which was the traditional colour.   These have a reputation as an old man's underwear but I see them occasionally on some young, cool guys who wear them under distressed jeans but have the top half of the union suit serve as their shirt.

Boxer Briefs: My commonest everyday underwear.  Great support and I like how they feel on my thighs.  They never ride up into a wedgie: Bonus!.  They look great as long as they legs fit snugly onto your thighs.  They look especially good on guys with big, beefy thighs, which I don't have.





This post to be continue in two or three days, with briefs, freeballing and jockstraps.  I might comment on thongs for men, but I won't be posting a pic of me wearing one.  Thongs are not a good look for middle-aged men!

Spo-Shirt + Jockstrap in Shower

Me and my growing "Buddha Belly."

I've had a fantastic week wearing the Spo-shirt on its first Canadian stop, but sadly, I have to send it off to the next recipient tomorrow morning.  As Cubby said to me, "It is a magical shirt... it has a way of making everyone who touches it very happy.  Can you feel it?"  Cubby, I agree!

It was fantastic to be a part of it and it will break my heart to part with such a beautiful shirt. In about a week, I will post a complete set of Spo-shirt pics, but here is a teaser pic of me wearing it.
  OTHER NOTES: 

1. I urge every closeted, married guy to read yesterdays joyful, triumphant post from Is there a Way Out for a SoCal Guy?   He fully came out to his wife a week ago;  it is turning out to be a positive, empowering experience and a major turning point in his life.  While his isn't the path I hope to take, I am very happy for him.   Read his whole story, if you aren't familiar with it.
2. I'm taking up Sean's challenge to post a silly, fun video of myself.  Would anyone object to a (partial) Spo-shirt strip tease?

More Gay "Red Flags"

Me, aged 13.

All through my high school years and right up until I was 20, I was lacking in self-confidence, painfully shy and rarely voluntarily uttered a word in class. As well, I was very much a late bloomer in every department, especially sexually. I was awkward and clumsy, badly dressed and sported a bad "Donny Osmond" haircut by my father. My only saving grace was that I was pretty smart and was usually the top student in all my classes, but I had to work very hard at it.


Check out the horror of this outfit:

-70s leisure suit, home-sewn by my mother *

-100% polyester knit with a houndstooth checkered pattern of olive, brown and white

-‘clodhopper' shoes

-100% polyester dress shirt with ‘bat wing’ collar


* to the same wedding, my older brother wore a handsome store-bought corduroy blazer and nice dress pants....grrrr!

High School Gay Red Flags - I should have known I was bi/gay because.........

Opposite of Gay Red Flags (not sure what to call this list --- non-gay indicators?)

The biggest one: I didn’t date at all during all the years of high school, not once!! Later, I used the excuse of being a late bloomer, painfully shy and awkward.... but when that pattern continued into my 20s, that excuse was wearing a bit thin..... Although I excelled at individual sports like skiing, I grew to hate all team sports... apart from the fact that I was clumsy and bad at most of them, I really disliked the “macho male bonding camaraderie” that went along with team sports.      I sometimes often looked at guys bulges in those late 70s jeans....Jordache, Sergio Valente, Calvin Klein, Levis....err...didn’t everybody? Weren’t those jeans designed to accentuate a guy’s bulbous groin region? Wasn’t that the whole point? Wrestling:  my gay wet dream. (That’s it! To be honest, that's everything I could think of to put in this list...)

I never hung out with girls, or was ‘one of the girls.’ I only hung out with guys at school who were invariably on the football or some other team. I majored in shop classes at high school, and took the maximum number allowed: sheet metal, welding, woodworking, automotive, machining, drafting...I did them all. I was always treated very well by my peers and was a respected member of the class; I was pretty good at it and always helped the other guys in the class as needed. On weekend, my brothers and cousins did ‘manly’ things like hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, and working at the latest family house-building project. The Reality:  wrestling in phys. ed. class. I hated wrestling in high school phys. ed. Having to touch another guy! Gross! Feeling a guy’s package mash up against you during a match....Double gross! I found nothing arousing in the boy’s high school locker room.... no one showered or even took off their underwear. I always averted my eyes because I didn’t want to look at their asses, not to mention their frontage. (By the way, I was never bullied in the locker room as some gay guys were... I was completely ‘under the radar’ partly because I was so shy.) My ethic group had a “Men’s Athletic Association” which my brothers, cousins and uncles went to regularly, from age 10 to about 20, and sporadically to age 30. Events such as swimming or skiing invariably wrapped up in the sauna / locker room. Group nudity was normal and we were surrounded by (I realized in retrospect) dozens of the hottest men imaginable; mostly blue-eyed blondes. All were hot young men; many were, had been or would be national level athletes in many sports such as hockey and cross-country skiing) Despite all these flopping penises around, I never even noticed them... never had the slightest stirring in my nether regions. (I know I would find it very .... exciting... now.)  For a latent gay boy like me, this lack of interest in these hot, naked athletic men now puzzles me.

My Gay "Red Flags"

It seems that many gay guys had unmistakable signs during childhood that they were gay. Scrutinizing my childhood and teenage years for ‘gay red flags,’ I couldn't find too many......my 'red flag' list is pretty lame!

Gay Red Flags - I should have known I was bi/gay because.........

Opposite of Gay Red Flags (not sure what to call this list --- non-gay indicators?)

My earliest movie memory at the age of 4, is of watching a gladiator movie on TV. The only thing I remember is that the gladiators were wearing leather skirts (kilts?) and had beefy thighs..... Click to make bigger. (This one is really embarrassing) At the age of 4, my mother got me a doll named “Kimmy.” Once, I made a dress for it while my mother was sewing a dress for herself. (I’m now wondering if my mother had wanted a girl; she had only boys.) Other than that, I don’t remember ever playing with that doll. At age 5, I started cooking: simple things like cookies, cakes, and scrambled eggs. By age of 14, I cooked everything.   This might just have been self-defense rather than a gay trait: my mother was a terrible cook. How is it possible to burn fried eggs? How about cabbage, first boiled to a mush and then fried and burnt in a frying pan? Yum! For my 6th birthday party, I invited 12 girls from my class and no boys... hmmm. Flash forward: My first male teacher was Mr. S in grade 7. Mr. S, wore early 70s polyester pants and I remember noticing his bulge.... not being mesmerized by it or dreaming about it, I just noticed it. All I remember about my phys.ed. teacher (gr. 9 -12) was his muscular, lightly furred legs in his 70s short shorts.  I didn't even think about what was in residence further up in his shorts. I just remember thinking he had nice legs.... but it certainly wasn't a crush... at least I don't think so. Me, age 3, playing with myself....some things never change.

Me in plaid shorts, age 5, playing with myself some more. Other than my 6th birthday party, I played only with boys (cousins, brothers, neighbours) and we did only “boy” things like fishing, making tree forts, building things in my father's wood shop, fixing and "souping-up" our bikes, and riding them. The gayest picture of me ever, age 10.  I loved my Bay City Rollers plaid pants (all the rage!)   If only I could find a pair that fits, I would wear the same pants today.  And that pink shirt!!     My mother picked it out.... honest! Starting in grade 1 for all the years of my education, I always had a “crush” on a girl in my class. This crush changed a few times per year but I never had a crush, ever, on any boy in my class. I enjoyed playing hockey at least until age 13, until it started getting too violent for me. No sexual experimentation at all with guys during my growing up year;  didn't experiment with girls either, for that matter. For my entire school years, from grades 1 to 12, I was never bullied and called slurs like “faggot”, “gay” or “fruit.” I think many gay guys had really rotten times during their school years, especially in middle school;  their peers could just sniff out their gayness.... but apparently, no one ever sniffed out mine.