Boxers or Briefs?

UPDATE:  Be sure to check out some even hotter pics on the second post on this topic, Boxers or Briefs, Continued.

This a popular (and ridiculous!) question asked breathlessly of male celebrities on talk shows and is the subject of a boxers or briefs website.

My answer would be all of the above.   Throughout my 20s and 30s, my underwear choices were strictly functional.   I had the ugliest pair of chocolate brown briefs which for some bizarre reason I decided were my “lucky underwear.”   I wore my tattered lucky underwear at every important event for over 15 years such as during many exams,  job interviews, important personal and work events and at my wedding.

Anyone snooping through my underwear drawer over the past fifteen years would  have noticed a major transformation in the types of underwear to be found there.  It was the biggest development of my early gay journey, although a hidden one because most people don't see your underwear.  As my gayness emerged,  my underwear choices became sexier and more varied.  I developed an increased body awareness and started to think about how my ass and bulbous groin region looked in underwear.  Surely I wasn't the only closeted, married gay guy to gradually develop an interest in sexy underwear?

Some types of underwear made me feel attractive;   I knew that a new pair of underwear were particularly sexy when I got an erection when I tried them on.  (a bit weird, perhaps, but it’s the truth... I still use the same criteria when deciding which pair of jeans to guy)

Boxers:   I like to sleep in boxers as there's ample ball room.  I don’t like them for daily use as the boys can get a bit sore, just hanging there without support.  Also, how do you stuff all that fabric into fitted pants?   I sometimes wear boxers with ‘relaxed fit’ jeans or jeans that are too big.  The extra fabric grabs onto your jeans and keeps them from heading south.

Union suits:   Worn very infrequently.  I only wear this one when it's very cold out and I will be outdoors all day, either working or doing winter sports such as ice fishing.  They keep your lower back nice and warm since there is no gap which occurs when you bend over wearing two-piece long underwear.  This union suit is over 50 years old;  it used to belong to my grandfather!  They can be very sexy but only if unbuttoned down to there.

In response to Cubby's comment:  Union suits were created in Utica, New York and first patented in 1868.  For years,  I have wanted to get  a red union suit which was the traditional colour.   These have a reputation as an old man's underwear but I see them occasionally on some young, cool guys who wear them under distressed jeans but have the top half of the union suit serve as their shirt.

Boxer Briefs: My commonest everyday underwear.  Great support and I like how they feel on my thighs.  They never ride up into a wedgie: Bonus!.  They look great as long as they legs fit snugly onto your thighs.  They look especially good on guys with big, beefy thighs, which I don't have.





This post to be continue in two or three days, with briefs, freeballing and jockstraps.  I might comment on thongs for men, but I won't be posting a pic of me wearing one.  Thongs are not a good look for middle-aged men!

Day of Pink against LGBT Bullying

News report:  Day of Pink - Kelowna, British Columbia, 2010

At the risk of being boring, I will tell everyone yet again how unique Canada is in the world in its acceptance of LGBT folks.  This is absolutely true!!  Canadian students aged 4 to 18 are at the forefront of this acceptance by participating in national events such as today's Day of Pink.

This year's Day of Pink, April 13, 2011, is the International Day against Bullying, Discrimination and Homophobia in schools and communities.

It is a Canadian initiative which was started a few years by a group of high school seniors in support of a grade 9 boy in Nova Scotia who was harassed on his first day of school for wearing pink.  I'm not sure how "international" it is, but the Day of Pink exists in the UK, Australia and New Zealand.   I'm not aware of any organized events in the USA.   However, one year, Ellen DeGeneres did a segment on the "Day of Pink" on her talk show.  (update:  The Day of Pink is recognized in some school districts in the USA;  some of the  more enlightened ones obviously.)

For some reason, Canada has several "pink" anti-bullying days, Pink Shirt Day in late February and another one, I believe, in November.  I think these days are run by different organizations who can't agree on one date.  Today's "Day of Pink" is different from the other days because it is specifically an LGBT event.


In Canada, Day of Pink is a very big deal in many non-Catholic* elementary and secondary schools.  Anti-LGBT bullying initiatives, and anti-bullying initiatives in general are being pushed into the spotlight by Ministries of Education all across the country.  I wonder if the media reports of  LGBT youth being bullied and committing suicide have heightened this sense of urgency?   In my small, very remote, blue-collar town, the hoopla is amazing!    Here are a few highlights of this week's events.  I've also described events which occurred during last year;  at the time of this posting, this year's Day of Pink hasn't happened yet!

• At my kids' high school this week, daily announcements were made explaining the importance of this day.  Unlike in past years, no attempt was made to downplay the fact that it is an LGBT initiative.
• The Canadian flag in front on the school was taken down, replaced by the Rainbow Flag.  Would this happen anywhere in the USA?
• Students and staff were encouraged to wear pink clothing or a pink ribbon.  Last year, participation rates were over 70%.
• The incentive this year:  the home room class with the greatest percentage of participating students will win a party featuring pink-frosted cupcakes.
• LGBT community representatives were invited by our school district head office to speak to students at school assemblies about LGBT bullying. Amazing!
• TV and radio stories and interviews on the Day of Pink were broadcast nationally.
• Across Canada, pink-clad students and teachers posed for a group photos to be posted online.
• Student groups all over the country posted YouTube videos and did pink flash mob dances.
• At our provincial legislature, all the Liberal members of provincial parliament wore pink.
• In many provinces, the provincial Premier or the Minster of Education spoke publicly on the importance of ending LGBT bulling.

I find this amazing,  just f*cking amazing!!

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* the Catholic schools, of course, mainly pretend that gays and lesbians do not exist.  Would we expect anything else from them?

You know I had to get some eye-candy in here somehow!

Purple Speedo Guy

As a neophyte gay guy, I have no experience at all in the art of the gay pick-up.  Looking back to my 20s and 30s, I now can recognize several incidents in which I might have been on the receiving end of an attempted pickup.  "Pickup" might be an overstatement;  it might have been a subtle signaling of an possible invitation from a gay guy.  I don't know.

But being in denial and clueless about all matters gay, it would never have occurred to me that another guy had any sexual interest in me at all.  I certainly had an appreciation for an attractive man.  However,  I never questioned this interest or let alone gave the slightest thought about what it signified about my sexuality.

One day in my early 30s, I was by myself at the community pool with my two kids, aged 3 and 1.  I was wearing a black Speedo (a sign of my hidden gayness?).   I told myself that I wore it because it gave freer leg movement for swimming, but none of the straight Dads would have been caught dead wearing one.

At that time, I had a perfectly flat stomach and was lightly furred. I wasn't heavily muscled but the muscles I had were well defined;  I was very slim.   I gave no thought at all about whether I was sexy or whether anyone else found me good looking.  Completely non-reflective!   Looking back as objectively as possible, I think quite a few gay guys would have found me attractive especially wearing that Speedo;  a classic DILF.

http://www.internationaljock.com

I was sitting poolside ready to go home with the kids.  A young man (mid 20s) walked by wearing a bright purple Speedo;  we were the only two guys in the place wearing them.  Mr. Purple Speedo was much cuter than the guy in the picture to the left;  dark hair, a little bit of  fur on his chest, a treasure trail and was just lightly muscled.... just a natural guy.  (By the way, I don't find the guy in the picture the slightest bit attractive... too plastic and arrogant looking)

As he walked by, I checked out his package.  (I was probably staring pretty blatantly... no subtlety there at all!)   Gasp!!  The outline of his circumcised cock head was clearly visible through the spandex, even more clearly than the one in the photo.  Years later, I wonder if he had cut the front lining out .... his vpl was so obvious. Advertising?

As he walked by, to my discomfort, he locked eyes with me and flashed a beautiful smile and kept on walking.  I thought... boy, he is friendly..... and I assumed he was smiling at my cute kids.  I thought, but why would be a young man like that be interested in babies?

About 15 minutes later, the kids and I were heading out the front door.  There was the Purple Speedo hottie sitting there in a chair by the door in tight jeans and bomber jacket in a slouched, open-crotched pose.  I had an idea (which could have been wrong) that he was waiting for us.   Again, he locked eyes with me as I hurried past with my snotty-nosed kids in tow.

For the first time I wondered, was he trying to attract my attention?  What did he think I would have done with the kids even if I wanted to hook up?

This is just a trivial little story but it shows how much I have changed.  If this incident happened today, I'm absolutely certain that I would be brave enough to pursue it;  perhaps return the smile, say 'hello' and see what developed.

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Blogger friends, don't worry, I'm not going to start running around trying to pick up guys!  For one thing, I can never tell who is gay or not and I would never risk getting beat up.   All I'm saying is that right, now, if some reasonably appealing, non-creepy guy locked eyes with me or smiled, I would do the same and maybe engage him in conversation.  If this happened in a place where there was no doubt that the other guy was actually gay (such as in a gay bar or at a Pride parade), so much the better!   I feel I owe it to myself, as part of my gay evolution. 

Casual Friday Hotties

A headless, pantsless and charmless Spo-shirt pic:  a pale imitation of the sexy original.

Recently, I was at my wife's house making a delivery.  I had hoped to just leave immediately but, instead, was invited to stay for supper. It was the first time the four of us sat down at a dinner table since my coming out and our separation three months ago.

The meal was extremely tense, but I think most of the tension came from me.  After years of relentless criticism,  complaints and blame, I was like a kicked cat ...  twitchy and nervous.  However, the meal passed without incident and I did appreciate this small opportunity for normalcy in our family.  Another small step forward!
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For the first time, I am now starting to think what it would be like to put myself "out there", to make new gay friends, attend gay events and even begin dating guys.  I'm not ready for all of this just yet but I know I will be, one day.  For now, perving on hot guys will have to do.

In my workplace, we regularly get university students as interns.  At present,  we have seven interns, one woman and six young men in the 23 - 30 age group. Five of the six guys are very hot.  In fact, two of these interns are working under me.... Sean!   RG!   get your minds out of the gutter!!  They're under me...but are not actually ....  under me... well, I wouldn't mind if they were under ... er... oh, you know what I mean .....
 
As if by design,  every one of these beautiful young men showed up yesterday in jeans and dress shirts for Casual Friday.  All the jeans were some very cool brand, some distressed and all were accented by impeccable dress shoes.   Since when did small-town 20-something young men wear such tight(ish) ass-hugging, bulge-accentuating jeans?  Eye-candy at the photocopier!!  They were all slim of hip with flat abs and lovely legs.... just great!

In the past, we've had our share of male interns who were gay, either fully out or more private about their sexuality.   Earlier this year, one hot intern in his mid 30s was, I'm very sure, in deep denial about his gayness..... it takes one to know one!!!  More on him in another post.

I've always enjoyed my conversations with the gay ones in particular;  they probably suspect that I'm 'one of the family.  I'm fairly sure that most of the present group are hopelessly straight;  still, it is a great pleasure to be working closely with them.

We do get some young woman as  interns.  Generally I find them uninteresting :  they are so serious, they try too hard and always have to "prove" something.  Unfair, I know, since I am a gay man, but I find the young men more enthusiastic and a lot more fun to be around.

Spo-Shirt in the Bathtub

Dr. Spo commented recently, "Buddy Bear is sure getting his money's worth with that shirt!"  It's made several blog appearances so far: the shower shots, front and rear, and the Spo-shirt strip tease.

It is a beautiful shirt made with quality fabric, bright colours,  the coolest pattern and impeccable workmanship. (Dr. Spo, you're quite the seamstress!!)  More importantly,  it represents an community, a bond between guys (and now one gal!) all over North America to which now I belong.  Very exciting!!

I had a great deal of fun wearing it and taking pictures in many different settings.  The Spo-shirt arrived during a very difficult week with some upsetting custody issues, so it served to cheer me up enormously.  Things have settled down once again and it ended up not being the "all or nothing" arrangement which it initially seemed. To be perfectly fair and realistic, we now have an arrangement which closer reflects what everyone in the family needs, rather than just what I want.

Here is the where the Spo-shirt has been so far.  The list below was borrowed (with permission) from Erik who is adorable, very funny and a total hottie.

• The Journey Starts: Spo at Spo-Reflections
  
• Stop 1: Cubby (and Raven and JohnBear) at Patently Queer
  
• Stop 2: Blobby at Blobby's Blog
  
  
• Stop 3: AJohnP at I got somethin' to say
  
• Stop 4: RG at Dulce Y Peligroso
  
• Stop 5: Sean at Idle Eyes and a Dormy
  
• Stop 6: Hanuman Das at Ashram at Pooh Corner
  
• Stop 7: Ron at Retired in Delaware
  
• Stop 8: The Cajun at On Transmigration
  
• Stop 9: Rodger (and Mac and and Mark) at Rodger Dodger
  
• Stop 10: Mark at This Little Record
  
• Stop 11: Jim at Jim's Stuff
  
• Stop 12: Will (and Fritz) at DesignerBlog
• Stop 13: Erik Rubright at Gambrinous with Griffonage
• Stop 14:  Buddy Bear (me!) at One Step at a Time
• Stop 15:  The shirt has now been received by Birdie at Strelitzia.   In the words of Dr. Spo:: 

"She is a Warrior Queen. An amazing woman - straight - who has done more for gay rights and championed our causes than most gay men I know. I am honored so she is part of the fundraiser!"

 This post was composed during our morning rush so I'm completely out of time!  I will post just one pic now and the rest tomorrow.   I attempted to recreate studly Daniel Craig's famous naked-in-the-bathtub pic.

This pic of Daniel Craig is from Love is the Devil... a "must-see" gay-themed film.

Snow Day

Here's the view from my front door this morning... about one foot of new snow.  Woot!  This means some of our favourite winter sports might last until the end of April!  (most people here won't be happy about this, however.)   It is not unusual here to get dumps of snow right to the end of April.

It's not actually a "snow day" since all schools and businesses open for business.  This amount of snow isn't a big deal for us;  our town is well equipped to handle it.

I do love looking at all the springtime pictures on other blogs:  flowering bulbs sprouting, green grass, hotties in shorts, nursery workers with hot asses (I had to get some perving in here, somehow!), trees in full bloom.... we won't see any of that until late May - early June.

tapthatguy.com

Canada a Generation Ahead of USA on LGBT Rights

Gay Pride, Toronto 2008

Yesterday, blogger friend Tom Rimington from Virginia quoted from a post I wrote in January about Canadian Gay Friendly High Schools.    Thanks Tom; it's pretty exciting to be recognized!   Tom's observation was (I think) that the USA is far behind Canada in LGBT acceptance.

Since I wrote that post three months ago, I have gradually come out to many family members, friends and close colleagues.  From this personal experience, I am more convinced than ever that there is an incredibly high degree of acceptance of  LGBT people throughout Canadian society.  I haven't had a single negative response!

The provocative title of this post is just my own opinion, but I'm sure that I am right.    As I posted a couple of months ago in Canadian Same-Sex Couples Celebrated 10th Anniversary, Canadian gays and lesbians have had full marriage rights for over 10 years.   This means full rights, not just the partial rights of a "civil partnership" which exists in many European countries and  a few states.  Since one generation is usually thought to be 25 - 30 years long, the USA is already nearly one-half a generation behind Canada.  Does anyone think that every LGBT citizen from every American state will achieve full marriage rights in 10 - 20 years?  Not likely!!


Canada, in fact, has been a world leader in LGBT acceptance since the 1960s.  On Dec. 22, 1967, defending the decriminalization of homosexual behaviour, Pierre Elliott Trudeau famously said:

"The state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation."    

In the USA, there are states such as Texas which have sodomy laws still on the books, although these laws are generally regarded as being invalid by a 2003 U.S. Supreme Court decision.

In 1992, Canada was one of the first nations in the world to  lift the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the military.   Every study on the effect of lifting this ban, including some major US ones, have shown that there have been no negative effects whatsoever resulting from lifting the ban on military gays.  Every one of the USA's military allies agree:  allowing gays in the military is a non-issue.

Today, in fact, Canadian same-sex military personnel occasionally get married on armed forces bases with the ceremonies officiated by senior officers.   The Canadian military now has members participating in Pride parades.  The main objective is to raise the Canadian military's profile as a "employer of choice" among all Canadians including those in the LGBT community. 

Nearly 20 years later,  Obama is still farting around about DADT.  As my grandfather used to say, "Take a shit, or get off the pot!!"

I have always been enormously proud of my country based on the treatment of all its citizens.  This feeling is reinforced every time I travel to other countries, including the USA, when I observe the conditions under which others live.  My "coming-out" has just intensified my feelings of Canadian pride.  My Canadian citizenship is one of my proudest possessions!

Canadian Military at Toronto Pride 2008:  look at how much fun they're having!  Proud soldiers!