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For me it was the most intensely sensual, sexual experience of my entire life (so far, at least)
What made it so special?
- The main difference here, obviously, was that I was with a man, Although I'm quite sure that I would still be able to have sex with a beautiful woman and enjoy it, at that instant, I finally discovered that my primary sexual and emotional interest was with men.
- I was in bed with a sweet, thoughtful young man who I was intensely attracted to, both emotionally and sexually. I didn't have to "work at it" or worry about losing my erection as I used to during heterosexual sex. I was hard as a rock!
- I have long moved past the insecurities and lack of self-confidence of my 20s which would have spoiled the moment. Although I had no experience at all (for example, did not know how to give / receive a blowjob) I was determined not to worry about it. Hottie Nurse went into this knowing fully who he was dealing with. My gay virginity might have been part of my appeal to him; I didn't ask.
- I was fully "present", enjoying every second as it occurred. Throughout I thought, "I can't believe I'm doing this! Savour it!!" The sense of unreality was so intense that it felt like an out-of-body experience. I knew darn well that this sort of opportunity doesn't coming along every day for old farts like me.
- It was the very first time that I didn't have to take the lead during sex. Hottie Nurse was extremely aggressive and very much a "take charge" kind of guy. It took me a few moments to allow myself to surrender to that aggression, to not take the lead, but once I did, it was fantastic! unreal!
- Once, I did flip Hottie Nurse onto his back and took charge for a bit. I thought it was like the hottest, most sensual naked wrestling match ever.
- A terrible, horribly-embarassing disclosure: this was the first time I'd had sex with another person in fourteen years. While this may seem bizarre to many people, I know that the majority of closeted gay guys with children, married to an angry, aging wife, face the same situation.... a non-existent marital sex life.
"What now?" I asked. He said with some irony, "You have to take your clothes off!" and gestured at the bed with a sweeping motion of his arm. Each of us dropped our clothes on the floor, jumped into bed and off we went! He rolled on top of me and began kissing, aggressively, deeply, with an intensity I'd never experienced. Is it possible to have a muscular tongue and lips? Well, he had 'em!
He was certainly the best kisser I've ever had; alternating kissing my lips and then sucking them, kissing, sucking, kissing... deep tonguing. The kissing went on forever and I was pressed deeper and deeper into the mattress by his force. I tried to give back as good as I got, but he was just so aggressive! I felt his hot breath on me eveywhere.
He continued tonguing and kissing the rest of me, ears, up my neck, and down my neck, into its crook He grabbed both my arms and pushed them over my head and licked my pits..long slow, thorough licks I thought it would be tickish... and a bit weird, but it was fine. Hairy pits were his favourite thing, it seems.
He then licked and nibbled up and down my torso. sucking on my nips (not much feeling there) and back up to my mouth again..
While he was kissing, I reached down and grabbed onto his cock... It was as hard as skin-covered steel! Oh, to be in my 20s again! I got the firmest possible grip on his cock with my fist and he thrust his pelvis as thought he was getting a hand job. His pelvis pumped back and forth with increasing frequency. I loved the feeling of his foreskin in my hand retracting back and forth. ,While I had his whole cock in my hand, I SQUEEZED the end rubbed my thumb around the base of the head; it must have felt great! He did the same to my cock, while he licked my pits and sucked my lips.
At one point, I pointed his cock at my virgin ass and he continued to hump, thrusting into my ass crack. No penetration of course, but that pressure on the end of his cock must have felt good to him; it felt good to me!
Still on my back , I spread my my legs spread wide and he shifted position, lying between my legs with our cocks pressed together. He ground his cock into mine. Each of us was grinding our pelvises into the other, grinding, grinding, grinding, up and down, side to side and then in a circular motion. .... super hot..... I think might be called dry humping or frottage. I think it was the thrusting that made it so hot... it is just such a natural movement for men.
After a very long time ...had to have been an hour.. of him exploring every part of my body (except my ass and cock) and with me reciprocating.... much of the time I was pinned to the mattress and he took charge.
He allowed me to flip him over and I licked my way down his torso to his cock and took it in my mouth. My first blowjob! It was very large in girth at the bottom and oddly skinny at the end. At the first mouthful, I thought, "Oh my God, I can't take it in!" I had to open my mouth wider than was comfortable at first. The girth at his cock's base was so much, it was hard to take in.
Slowly, slowly I began pumping his cock with my lips, from base to tip of his cock, applying as much pressure as I could muster. I'm thinking, "No teeth!!" I varied the routine by intense tonguing of the end of his cock and in/around his foreskin while pumping the shaft with my hand. After (I think) several minutes, I tried for some 'deep throat' action, taking his entire cock in my mouth again and ramming the end into the back of my throat with some force. I was surprised when I only gagged slightly several times. I loved it... this was my favourite part. Feeling his cock ramming into the back of my mouth, knowing that would just be driving him insane with pleasure as the nerves compressed. I continued this with increasing frequency, faster, faster., faster.... He wasn't very vocal but was lying back, groaning slightly, eyes closed, abs clenching.
With out letting up, I focussed all the pressure on the last inch of his cock, grind, grind grind with my mouth until I felt his cock pulsing in my hand and mouth. I held his cock in my mouth for a moment, motionless,until the pulsing stopped and then I slowly, slowly pulled away, keeping pressure on it all the while.
I said to him, "There wasn't much volume there!" He said that he jerked off before he came to pick me up, so he wouldn't come too soon. Again, to be in my 20s again!
We changed positions and he began to work on my cock. It felt great: my first blowjob ever. He licked up and down my cock, paused, deep throated a bit.... constantly changing. I started to think that he wasn't very good at it. He would play with the head, deep throat a bit to bring me to the edge and then stop and lick my balls or something. A bit of a disappointment, just slightly, as after while I knew I wouldn't come.
Like any middle-aged man, I needed some continuous, unrelenting action at the end of my cock to come. After several minutes him of working my cock (don't get me wrong, it felt fantastic!!), it started to move from pleasure to pain ... just overly sensitive, so I had him stop. I might have come just a bit, but I'm not sure. Had I known him better, and had I know an expert cocksucker does to get a guy off, I would have made a few suggestions. But the fact that I didn't come was not a big deal.... it was a fantastic, memorable experience! Being my first time, I probably was a bit anxious as well.
Again, this post is long enough. In two days, I will describe (to me) the best part of our encounter, the afterglow. ..... lying together naked for a couple of hours with our limbs twined, holding each other tight, talking about sex, laughing, teasing. And finally, him napping with his head on my chest. Sweetness!
It's hard for me to imagine a better first-time experience than the one you described. You will remember this one until your dying breath.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cubby. So often you hear about "first times" that are anything but memorable.
ReplyDeleteWow! I can't wait for the next post. :-)
ReplyDeleteI feel so hot now... and it has nothing to do with the summer weather.
So happy for you Buddy Bear. ;-)
hot hot hot! WOW!
ReplyDeletePS - sometimes we str8s are in the same boat (no sex for years, etc.). ask me how I know this...
Good for you for coming out to your family. Yes, it's painful for all. I speak as a straight ex-wife who found out by accident. My ex would never have told me. We're divorced, and it started out amicable. But once he found out there was going to be a financial price tag, he got nasty. I took the high road and never said a bad thing to our children about their dad even though I was tempted. He did horrid things and now he's paying the price in many ways.
ReplyDeleteI wish you well in your new life, but please be careful. There's a lot of HIV out there and people aren't honest about it.
Great story - thanks for sharing!!
ReplyDeleteI've read your posts from the start and have enjoyed them. But for some reason recently I have had a growing suspicion that your a story teller and that the blog itself is fiction, however enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteYou say "I just can't write smut convincingly." Really? You could have fooled me! (Let's substitute the word 'sex' for 'smut', as the latter has overtones of something undesirable, which what you write about is certainly NOT.)
ReplyDeleteYou're writing steams up my computer screen - from the inside!
Btw If you ever want advice on giving good B.J. I'm always here. In fact if I was there right now with you I'd offer to give you a practical demonstration.
That was amazing! I'm so glad that your experience was so good and you enjoyed it so much! I had very similar thoughts when I had sex for the first time, like "remember: no teeth". It did bring back memories!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
Cubby, BentonQuest, Nik: It was a unforgettable 'first time.' Hottie Nurse is a tough act to follow, that's for sure! If only he was at least 10 years older and didn't live thousands of miles away from me. In his maturity level, he reminded me more of my children that a potential life partner.
ReplyDeleteMaggie: thanks for sharing your story. Both my wife and I are trying hard to not badmouth the other to the kids. I am aware there will be a whopping financial price to paid (mainly borne by me) but I think that less devastating than my wife having her life torn apart after 20 years of marriage to a gay man.
Yes, Thanks for the HIV warning. Yes, I'll be careful! I think my "slut phase" will be a very short one.
Anonymous: "Growing suspicious that ....your blog itself is fiction." That is too funny! I don't actually care what you think, but I assure you every word is true! E-mail me privately and I might be able to convince you.
Raybeard: Thank you! I was planning on seeking advice on giving / receiving blowjobs.... a future post?
Wow, this actually got me hard. But I am really glad that you have had such a memorable first time. You will remember it forever but the nurse is still young and there is a lot more out there that you will enjoy.
ReplyDeleteAnal sex for instance, I am interested to read about your encounters with being a top and bottom should they happen.
Plus you don't need advice on giving a good blow job, you are a man and you know what you like and how to perform a blowjob is like fixing the clock on the microwave, it is intuitive.
Hey Buddy Bear! Just came across your blog - this is a terrific series of posts.
ReplyDeleteI've been gay my whole life, out some 40 years now. I went through a long period of celibacy myself from late 1994 to about 2008/2009. I think I had a pretty good reintroduction to a sex life, but nothing as amazing as what you describe. Vanilla, maybe, but so what. It's about what two (or more) guys bring to each other, what spirit they bring into the play, rather than the specific details of who put what where how, etc. This is a hot story. Thank you.
Just now found your blog and read this great post. I just recently had my first experience with another man, actually two, it was a three-way. It was fantastic. I wish I hadn't waited until I was fifty years old. Like you, I didn't get off the first time, it must be nervous tension. I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that happened to.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great blog.
Very interesting....I still remember the first time. His target was my navel and I couldn't ejaculate.....
ReplyDeleteThe natural movement of trusting feels wonderful....and I ready to ejaculate too....
ReplyDeleteI'm 58 years old and a virgin - never had sex with a man or woman. Only once in my life (about 12 years ago)did I meet up with a guy I met online and all we did was masturbate together and then jerk each other off. First time ever touching another man's cock...first and only time my cock as touched by another human being. I wasn't overly attracted to him but i as also very nervous. What I regret the most is that I wanted to suck his cock and him to suck mine but I was also a bit frightened about what his cock would taste like and if I would do a good job. So to timid to initiate. Yet if he had asked me just once if i wanted to suck his cock i would have agreed. He knew it would be my first time. Well..as they say, you snooze you lose. Missed opportunity..DAMN! I was also self conscious as I was quite overweight. He said it didn't matter.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 58 year old virgin (anally) because by the time I was 5 years old I was battling a severe social anxiety disorder....and by the time i was 8-9 years ld I realized i was a faggot..a sexual deviant. (1969-1970 in small town Canada)I was TERRIFIED someone would find out and that basically had me paralysed in fear for decades. My parents were immigrants so I had ZERO other family in Canada. I dodn't want to be disowned. So imagine being a 9 year old and your dealing...not just with a big scary SEXUAL secret but also with a disorder that makes you fear being social, that you are not even aware you have. I essentially spent 30+ years (from when diagnosed) with watching TV/movies my only "social life". I could work (at first) and be superficially social during the day but by 65-6 pm I was home and stayed home. Watching TV 6-9 hours per day - every day. Going to sleep 2-3 AM. Late when working was impossible then it was 9-12 hours per day. And s a young confused scared child..then teen..then young adult... i had noone to turn to for help. Being outed would destroy my life.Recently when I mentioned to my GP that I found it bizzarre that in the 30+ years I was ill the only treatment I received EVER was some counceling and some appointments with visiting Shrinks. They came about every 4-5 months. I was never given even one biological, DNA ,chromosomal, or neurological test. His response. "Well when we asked how you were doing you said you were OK" Yah....OK for someone who at one point was housebound ..but OK didn't mean healthy or cured. I didn't complain enough?? So the seriously ill person was expected to make sure they didn't drop the ball? Even when I was close to being suicidal? They knew I wasn't well but it was a case of "Healthy enough so good enough". And my name was dropped from the list of people whose disorders still needed investigating. A 1987 diagnosis determined my (lack of) care for 3 decades! Is that good medicine? But hey...that's just the skewed perception of my mentally ill mind..right? Not even one MRI scan in 30+ years! What if it involved my brain structure and could have been majorly improved or cured years ago? But we'll never know because no one bothered to find out. I was invisible apparently. At 315 lbs I'm not that easy to miss.