TMI: Halloween

Too Much Information is regular feature from Sean, Just a Jeep Guy which I look forward too each week.

All of the pictures are of me dressed as a cave man in a burlap sack, a $3:00 wig and some body makeup, but I was especially proud of the accessories I made with real chicken and beef bones:  necklaces, wrist and ankle bracelets and an earring.  The costume was a big hit!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
1. Trick or Treat?  If I was really short of cash, I'd consider 'turning tricks' but I'd never play a trick on anyone.  I don't usually like practical jokes.  But I look forward to giving my (future) special guy all the treats he wanted as long as he treated me in return.

2. Do you hand out candy, make sure you're not home or pretend to not be home?
For many years, my wife stayed home to give out candies while I took my kids out trick-or-treating, first as babies, then toddlers and then little kids. My wife never once came with us.

They were so cute in their costumes.... and just wild with excitement!  These were some of my fondest memories as a father.  It was a sad day when they became old enough to go by themselves, with friends.

I now live in a rural area where there are no trick-or-treaters at all, but I still buy my own children a special treat.

3. What's your favorite candy? Throughout the year, I like candy of all sorts:  good-quality chocolate, gummie bears and chocolate-covered anything:  almonds, malt balls or coffee beans.

But at Halloween, I love all the mini chocolate bars, especially Coffee Crisp, Sweet Marie and Mr. Big.  I don't think any of these are available outside of Canada.

4. How big of a holiday is Halloween for you?  It was a very big deal when my kids were young.  We grew and carved many pumpkins, decorated the house and threw huge children's Halloween parties. 

But as an adult, Halloween is not too big a deal but that's more related to lack of opportunity.  I often dress up for school but I've never been to a costume party at a club.  But if there was a gay Halloween event in my town, I wouldn't miss it!

I'd especially love to go to the PittBull Halloween Party in Toronto.  PitBull events are wall-to-wall, sexy, bearish, scantily-clad, real men.  Insanely hot!

5. Sexy costume or scary?
Definitely sexy, without a doubt!  But since I've only worn costumes at school, I do have to tone the sexiness down a great deal. 

I think that true sexiness comes from self-confidence and the self-knowledge that you actually are sexy, regardless of age, body type or shape.  This is how I feel about myself much of the time but only since I've come out and gained experience as a gay man. This is very different from the "trying-too-hard-to-be-sexy" guys who I find very off-putting.
 
BONUS
Ever have Halloween Sex while staying in costumer/character?
Never, but that would be a lot of fun with a special guy, any time of the year!

F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S !

My Runner's Bouncing Cocks post from two days ago proved yet again that a provocative title and a sexy GIF will bring in the page views.... over 3,000 per day, over double the usual traffic to this blog.

I had intended to follow up with Part II, the story of how my running career started 12 years ago in an effort to avoid being around my wife. I'm too tired tell that story right now, but looking back, it seems unbelievable how I lived for so long under constant attack and criticism from my wife.  It took all of my energy to deal with her anger and erratic behaviour but the stress soon took it's toll on my health.

Yesterday was one of the busiest days ever:

1.  I taught my morning classes as usual, periods 1 and 2.  My grade 10 class is full of fantastic students;  friendly, engaged and eager to participate in important class discussions.  The boys in this class are quite gawky but it's easy to see that some of them will grow into fine physical specimens.  The grade 10 girls are completely lacking in the 'attitude' that so many have at that age.... and not a cheerleader among them!

During my grade 11 class, we watched a presentation by the most self-confident, charismatic, gayest and most 'out' student I've ever met.  To the delight of the class, Sam ended his presentation with an interpretive dance of a nuclear fission reaction (ie: when an atomic bomb explodes), complete with pirouettes, leaps and ending with jazz hands, which he had to explain to the class. 

The crowd went wild!  It was one of the most memorable few minutes of my teaching career and I told Sam in front of the class:  "That was F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!!"   I don't know if the class understood the reference; that it was something only a gay man would say.

2.  I then supervised the cafeteria for the entire lunch period.  Few of our 'cool' high school students eat there so it's mainly used by the grade 7 / 8s from the middle school attached to our building.  The kids' behaviour was okay but they are just so immature.... I'd sooner set my hair on fire than teach that age group.

3.  I then spent most of period 4 preparing a supply teacher lesson.  This took an extra long time because a non-qualified supply teacher was coming in to teach my grade 12s.   Everything had to be spelled out explicitly.

4.  I spent period 5 at the dentist, dealing with a rather unpleasant procedure to repair a cracked tooth.   My dentist is not my type at all:  slim, boyish, clean-cut, in his late 30s and dressed entirely in beige. 

During the procedure, he had to open his thighs wide with his pants straining against his bulge and press in close to me;  a pleasant distraction.  And when the drilling became too intense, I thought of the bouncing cock gif from the previous post and imagined taking the "big, fleshy, sumptuous cock" (Will's comment) in my mouth;  this appealing thought got me through the procedure.


5.  After the dentist, I drove some 30 minutes to our local slaughterhouse to pick up a lamb's digestive system, heart and lungs for the next day's dissection activity with my grade 10 class.

6.  I returned from the slaughterhouse to attend a going away party at a local hotel for our vice-principal who is leaving town.  I have so little contact with our admin that I could scarcely remember her name, but the high-fat food served was fantastic for a school event!  Wings, quesadillas, calamari, perogies, nachos and meatballs!  Yum!

What a day!   By the time I got home and went for a long walk with my son's dog, I felt like a horse that's been rode hard and put away wet.  Whew!

Runner`s bouncing cocks, part I

And no, the runner's in my raced didn't look like this.

Until my coming-out drama four years ago, I was a dedicated runner and had competed in several full marathons. I loved running!

I would love to run again but it might not be the best activity for my spinal arthritis and degraded vertebrae which I posted about here.  I'm still thinking about it.

I hadn't realized, until writing this post, how closely my running career was tied to my miserable marriage and my unrecognized gayness in my late 30s and early 40s.  But this post became too long so I'll save the other half for Wednesday.

Every gay runner will know that the major benefit to completing in races is being in close contact with lean, fit, sexy men with beautiful legs and amazing asses.  Recently I volunteered at a major running race as a traffic warden, manning a road barrier downtown.  The event was certified as a qualifying race for the Boston Marathon;  quite a big deal which attracted elite athletes from all over North America. 

Of course, the only reason I volunteered to get a close-up view of the many hundreds and hundreds of beautiful athletic men, front and back.  When I ran marathons, the view of the muscular ass in front of me was fantastic! .... but there is no substitute for the front view of cocks bouncing and jiggling in spandex or onionskin shorts.

I chatted all day long with countless hot men from my volunteer's position; runners heading to the start line, hottie spectators cheering on their girlfriends and sweaty runners who had finished the race and were returning to their cars.  Other runners had dropped off personal items with me during the race and came back to retrieve them.  This gave me an opportunity to shake their hands, chat and admire their physiques at close range.

One athletic, 40ish guy glanced sharply at me as he walked by with his grim-faced wife and then instantly snapped his head back forward.  OMFG!  I sucked his cock in the back seat of my car last year!!

And the runners didn't disappoint! Hot men in spandex or flimsy running shorts everywhere.... beautiful, lean bodies, muscular thighs, amazing asses, jiggling cocks of all sizes. 

Did you know that the longer the pendulum, the slower it moves back and forth?  There were many little cocks jiggling back and forth wildly while the long, pendulous ones had a much slower frequency, BOING....BOING...BOING.... 

As it was a chilly morning so many men were in running tights showing their beautiful curved thighs, and asses, with cocks and balls outlined.  Some of them did such a fantastic job in filling out the front of their tights.... Beautiful!   

At the height of the race, I literally became dizzy as I snapped my head back and forth, attempting to look at the front sides and backsides of the hundreds of men running past.  It was impossible to check all of them out and I know I missed some beautiful sights.  Darn!

It was a fantastic day!  I spent the entire seven hours consumed with lust, in a state of continuous horniness.   I that know that I sound like some sex-crazed teenager, but I make no apologies for that;  that's why I volunteered!

DILFs at Parents' Night

Friday night was very stormy here with rain, hail, fierce winds and the sound of the surf pounding on the rocks.  I was alone because the kids were in town and slept at friends' houses. 

I'm sure the day will come when I'm lonely but so far, I not alone often enough for that to happen. Seven months into my divorce, I'm still savouring my alone-ness and enjoying not being in a relationship.

I cuddled with our three dogs who are hogged the couch and watched my favourite Two Fat Ladies DVDs for the umpteenth time. Later, we slept in the same bed with my daughter`s little dog under the covers between my legs while my son`s dog slept with her wet nose pressed against my cheek. 

Even if I had a busy social life and a sexy man to share it with (I have neither of these), I could not have imagined going out after such an exhausting week.  Some random thoughts:

1.  Thursday was Parents' Night at my school and I was booked solid with appointments all evening.  The majority of the fathers at my interviews were hottie DILFs, aged 35 to 50.  I spent the evening consumed with thoughts of lust, trying not to glance down at their lovely packages as they sat in an open-crotched pose in front of me.  

I spoke to their lumpy little wives too, of course, but in the end, I spent way too much time locking eyes with the DILFs who resembled the men pictured here, except they all wore clothing.  I'm fairly sure that the Dads figured out that I was paying far too much attention to them.

To a man, they were handsome and sexy, and wearing suits, dress pants or stylish crotch-hugging jeans.  Some had piercing blue eyes, some had tattoos and many had touches of silver in their facial scruff.  Woof! 

I've been attending Parents Night for twenty years but this was the only one where I would have wanted to have sex with all the Dads I met.   This is probably due to my horniness, my sexual self-confidence as a gay man, a growing appreciation of mature men and the fact that I`m now older than most of them. 

2.  Also this week, my ex-wife and I submitted our 11-page response to the stressful  Revenue Canada audit of our 2011 tax return.   We're fairly optimistic that the matter has been resolved and I am rather pleased that, in the end, we were able to deal with it so cooperatively and politely.

I wondered yet again how adversarial couples could get through a problem like this without generating thousands of dollars of lawyer's fees. 

3.  My son is still living with me full-time, although I see very little of him because he's either at school, at his job or with his friends.  But he seems to show no desire to spend any time with his mother, either. 

On Thursday, my ex-wife told me that she planned to take our son to his favourite prime rib restaurant in town which features locally-grown beef.  I thought, "Hmmm.....  I doubt that will happen!" and sure enough, he refused to go with her.  But at least she's trying to mend fences with him.

I felt sad for her because she always takes rejection badly, but she needs to acknowledge my son is justified in avoiding her.   Although things have calmed down considerably, my son won't easily forget or forgive her past anger and erratic behaviour.

TMI: DOES SIZE MATTER?

Too Much Information is a regular, fun feature by Sean of Just a Jeep Guy.  

  1. How big is your TV screen?  My TV is a 23" Magnavox purchased in 1990; practically a museum piece.

But very soon, I plan to get much bigger flat screen TVs for the Love Nest and for my newly-renovated living room when those projects are finished.

  2. How big is your hard drive? Laptop or desktop?  I have no idea how big the hard drive is on my 3-year-old Toshiba laptop but it seems to do the job.

  3. How big is your home? Is it too big or too small?  My home is around 1,600 square feet (I think) and there is a 600 square foot log building on the property as well, where my Love Nest located.

It is too big for one person but when my three kids and our three dogs are here (and perhaps, future grandchildren), we really do fill it up.   And I always have the option of renting out the main house and living in the log building.  I'd make a pile of money doing that!

  4. How big is your waistline? Is it too big or too small?  I'd say "too big."  I still carry the twenty pounds gained during my coming-out divorce drama and no longer fit the 32" waist pants which I wore for most of my adult life.  But I hate the idea of wearing 34" pants and they often seem a bit too big on me anyway.

  5. How big are your pets?  At this moment, there are three doggies cuddled with me:  my daughter's dog is a skittish, skinny little terrier (12 pounds). 

His brother (my little dog) sleeps by the food dish all day and growls at any dog who dares approach it.  He's quite overweight at 18 pounds.  My son's border collie cross is a very slim 35 pounds.

  6. How big is your car?   My small car (a Toyota Corolla) is perfect since I commute 30 km (18 miles) one way and must have good gas mileage.  At times, I borrow my father's or son's truck to haul bigger loads.

  7. How big are your biceps?  I describe myself as having "bird arms."  I don't give a hoot as to how skinny my arms look but sometimes wish they were stronger when I have to move the refrigerator.  I do admire moderately large biceps on other men.... but not too big.

  8. How big is your ego? To me, "Big ego" means someone who overconfident,  arrogant and with an inflated sense of one's importance.  I have none of those qualities.  Just to toot my own here, I am very balanced in the ego department;  confident but not over-bearing about it, modest and willing to do any task or be friendly and helpful to any person, no matter how humble.

  9. Who's currently the biggest ass? I can only think of American Republican or fundamentalist wingnuts for this category:  Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, anyone from the Westboro Baptist Church, ..... the list is endless.

10. Who's currently the biggest loser? I hope and pray that the current scandal involving Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper will cause him to be biggest loser in the next election.

11. How big is your bank account? My bank account is the very definition of "cash flow."  My income is a healthy one but once I pay for spousal support, kids' university tuition, my mortgage, utilities and construction materials, there is very little left at the end of each month.
 
BONUS
How big is your sexual organ?   
Oh my!  My hard cock is at least average-sized, 6.5 or even 7.0" when I'm really aroused, cut and quite thick. My uni-ball is not a low-hanger but is bigger than normal which is common for men who grew up from birth with one testicle.

Is it big enough?  Yes, my cock is plenty big enough for any sexual activity that I can think of.  In fact, I often think it's a bit too thick when asked to top a tight-assed, bottom virgin.

I am never embarassed to take my cock out in intimate company.  Usually, my cock is the same size (or bigger) than the other guy I'm with.  Sadly, mine is very much a "grower" and I would very much prefer that it was bigger in the flaccid state, if only to better fill out a Speedo or some sexy underwear.

How do you like your partner to be sized?   Can it be too big/small?  Yes, my partner's cock size does matter but only in the sense that I'd prefer my guy to be averaged-sized or even a bit smaller.  Manageable.

While a monster-sized cock is fun to look at online for the way it fills out a Speedo, I sometimes have difficulty deep throating one without gagging.  I'm a wimpy bottom and will never take a monster cock up my ass. 

But on the opposite end of the cock spectrum, I'd never be happy with someone like the Micropenis Guy who's cock was less than 1", erect.  What could anyone do with that?

Does size really matter?   I've met several big-cocked guys who were selfish, arrogant bastards who were only concerned about their own pleasure.  I've also been with several guys with decent-sized cocks which never got hard;  a disappointment. 

So in the final analysis, cock size doesn't really matter to me.  Give me a average or smaller-cocked, adventurous, attentive, kind, skilled, intelligent and appreciative lover every time!

Testicle Tuesday

This ball-sucking looks a little too rough.

I like the alliteration in this sexy title which, as a bonus, is sure to generate many pageviews from google searches.

This is a good thing because for first time in nearly three years of blogging, my life is so calm that I have no new gay news to blog about.

Before I started having sex with men, I never gave any thought to testicles other my own lonely ball.  But now, I've seen a great many up close, ranging from the Micropenis Guy's marble-sized balls to the beefy, beautiful ones swinging low between Hottie Construction Worker's thighs last week.

Two years ago, it would never have occurred to me to lick a guy's balls or to take them in my mouth.   But I've had many requests to do so and now love gently sucking the boys and running my tongue all around ..... and especially in between the skin separating them.  I also like applying gentle pressure to them in the palm of my hand when I'm sucking a cock or even kissing, and I've never had a guy tell me to stop.

Apart from his cock, man's balls are his most precious possession; the core of his masculinity.  Most men live in dread of having their balls kicked or otherwise manhandled.  Therefore, I constantly find it unbelievable that the men I'm having sex will allow a nameless, faceless stranger, to take their balls, their most vulnerable part, into his mouth.

I guess lust and horniness just take over and caution flies out the window.

Survivor of childhood sexual abuse

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