Erratic (ex) Spousal Behaviour

Today's Pic(s)-a-Day-in-May are all of me during this morning's rush.   I'll have to try for something more imaginative this weekend.

It's been fantastic having all three kids and our three dogs here all week.  It's been very busy because they all have different work or school schedules. 

This means that I have to make a second trip into town in the evening for a pick-up.  No time (or even an inclination) for a quick hookup! 

But I've been moving slowly towards "quality" rather than "quantity" in my hookups.  When Big Red and I are together in bed, at least 2 - 3 hours is needed for kissing and mutual pleasuring.

Two months after our divorce, I think my former wife is doing fairly well and is reasonably happy.  But she still exhibits what I used to call Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde behaviour.  Erratic!  At times, she can be wickedly funny, but she can also be bossy, bullying and just plain nuts.  Here are two examples from this week.

Funny ex-wife:
Middle Daughter, checking her text messages:  "Ewwww!!  Mom says she has chlamydia!"
Buddy Bear:  "What?   You know that's an STD?"
Daughter:   "D'uh!  She texted.  'Now that you're in a medical field, I need to ask your advice.  I'm having a problem with chlamydia."

.... a minute later..

Daughter:  "She texted again!  'My chlamydia plant has brown leaves with little white spots on it.... what should I do?' "
Daughter texting back:  "Very funny, Mom!  LOL"
Ex-wife texting:  "Believe me with my lack of a sex life, there is NO chance of me getting a venereal disease."
Daughter to me:  "Ewwwww...... I DO NOT want to hear Mom talking about her sex life.  EVER!  I can't even imagine it!"
Buddy Bear:  "I'm sure that she will never have sex, ever again in her life.  Who would want to do it with her?"

Crazy ex-wife:
In November, my son was hired at a national burger chain and worked two evening shifts in training.  But he was never called in to work after that because, he said, they had dozens of kids on the casual worker list and no one was getting any shifts.

Last week, while preparing our taxes I found out that the burger place never paid him his salary, $60.00 or so.  I couldn't convince my son to phone the manager and complain  ("I don't care.)
so I dropped it.

Later, my wife found out about it and she also tried to convince my son to phone.   When he refused, my wife phoned the manager repeatedly but he wasn't helpful and eventually stopped returning her calls.  The basic problem was that he could not divulge information about an employee to a third party, even if that third party was the employee's mother.  

So wife hatched this plan and told all three kids about it in advance.

1.  Wait for the busiest time of the week at the burger place, Friday at 5:00 pm.
2.   Drive her car up to the drive-through window.  Park the car, shut it off and demand that the manager come talk to her.
3.   Refuse to move the car until the manager caves in to her demands about my son's pay.

At the burger place, my wife blocked the drive-through lane as planned.  In short order, disgruntled customers in their cars were lined up around the building.  Inside the restaurant, chaos ensued.  "Oh my gosh, Mrs. _____ is refusing to move her car!!!"  Side note:  the employees were either students at my wife's former school or at my son's school including some of his friends, meaning, most of them knew who she was.

Teenaged workers were dispatched outside with clipboards to take customer's orders manually while the manager negotiated with my ex-wife.  Eventually, the manager caved in and gave her what she wanted, paid my son's back wages and offered him a permanent shift of two evenings week.

The aftermath:
1.  My wife went around town for the rest of the week, proudly bragging about her "victory" to everyone, completely unaware how inappropriate her behaviour was and how nutty she appeared to everyone else.  She's lucky the manager didn't call the police!

2.  She told everyone in town, but me, that is.  She knows full well that I wouldn't have approved of her tactics and would have told her so.

3.  Each of the three kids told me this story, separately:  "Did you hear what Mom did?"  They all chalk it up as yet another "Crazy Mom Story."

4.  I told my son (in jest):   "Hey, you can forget this welding thing.... you can just have a career at the burger place!"  My son snorted, "Yeah, right!  Do you think I'm ever setting foot in that place ever again?"   I felt sorry for him:  it's hard enough being 16 without having to deal with such an embarrassing mother.

Men in Camo

My bare ass .... again.

A front view of me ... with my flabby belly.

In our region, we get a constant stream of American men coming up for hunting and fishing. These guys are all outdoorsy types, burly, scruffy, a bit redneck and sadly, often overweight. 

But in each group of older, bearish men, there's always a couple of slim young guys (probably their sons) who look just delicious, fresh-faced, innocent-looking and clean cut in that all-American way.  They'd probably be horrified if they could read my mind, full of sinful and gay "impure thoughts."

What really sets these American sportsmen apart is that they are dressed head-to-toe in camoflage clothing. They stick out like sore thumbs!   You'd never see a Canadian man going around town dressed this way.  It would be regarded as just plain weird;  a bit too militaristic, I think. Anyway, Canadian hunters are required to wear blaze orange for safety. But here are some pics of some lovely military men in camo gear.

Random thoughts:
1.  I still haven't come to terms with the loss of POF.com as a smorgasborg where I can take my pick of inexperienced 22 year-old gay men to have sexytime with.  I posted about the new POF rules here.   Now, I'm getting no messages at all and searches restricted to my age +/- 14 years, only get about five men and they're the SAME MEN every time.  :-(

2.  I'm thinking of setting up a POF account with a fake age so the horny 'uns can resume messaging me again.  I might possibly try out Grindr.com.  The men on Scruff.com would be more my cup of tea but there are virtually no local guys on it yet.

3.  All my three kids are with me probably for the week.  It's a lot of fun having them here!  They are fun, intelligent, self-confident young people with busy life:  socializing, work, reading, school, hobbies and working on major projects around the house.  

4.  As if by design, my kids all want to learn new skills, things I never would have imagined them wanting to do: 

• Eldest daughter learn how to change the oil on her car.
• Middle daughter (a picky eater who has never cooked) is learning how to cook and eat Indian food for her "brown" university boyfriend as he teasingly describes himself.  I've had training in this cuisine so I'm teaching her some of the milder dishes to start. 
• My son, in addition to being an accomplished welder and car mechanic, has taken to making home-made pizza, cookies and pork ribs, barbequed for hours in the Texas fashion with a dry rub. 

5.  Recently, I've heard from several divorced gay men (in their sixties or older, I think) who went through the same journey I did except a decade or two earlier.  The tragedy of their situations is that their bitter ex-wives "turned the kids against them."  These men largely missed out on the growing-up years of their own children and are now mainly estranged from them.  I'm really very lucky!

Week without the kids

Today's pics were suggested by Wayne for the Pic-a-Day-in-May feature.  That's me on the left.
It's been a highly unusual week in that all three kids have been at my ex-wife's house for much of the time, although I've seen some of the kids in passing such as at grandma's house.  I also see my son at school occasionally but we don't usually talk in front of his classmates.  I haven't had a week alone in a very, very long time;  perhaps many years.

Since my middle daughter (19) has come back from university out of town, she's been following a strict week-on, week-off arrangment between my house and my wife's. She doesn`t want to play favourites between parents, she said.

She's highly a organized, charismatic and fun person, the sort who organizes fun activities and who others want to spend time with.  So, the oldest (21) and youngest (16.5) have informally adopted her schedule so that all three kids are together most of the time.

View from my front yard last night

It's is gratifying to see that my children have become so close as adults (or almost adults).   I'm sure that the breakdown of our marriage has accelerated this process along ... they've created their own strong family unit with or without their parents.

I like to see how help each other out instead of (as they did as children) always turning to a parent for help.  My son will change the oil on his sister's car and cut the wood for a shelf she's building.   In turn, she will write help with his English essay and cook him breakfast.  That bond will serve them in good stead, I hope, when my wife and I are no longer here.  

But it's also a transition for me, going from being responsible for every need of the three kids to a place where I am not needed, or at least not needed as much as previously.  That will take some getting used to.

But I'm never completely alone because I have had a few men over, including a fun, relaxed 24 year-old, Big Red, who may becoming a regular and who I haven't yet blogged about.   There are pros and cons to this new schedule:  when the three kids and three dogs are here, it is extremely busy with cooking, house projects, squabbling dogs and activities.   I love having my kids here but I`m not sure that I would want ALL of them here ALL of the time at this point.  

When they are not here, the house renovation projects continue as before.  But it is much quieter but I have much more freedom to make arrangements for sexytime with men...  so that`s a positive thing as well.

Transitions in life!




This is me.

Damn you POF!

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Naked men in art

My condolences go out to the many people in Oklahoma affected by the tornados.  I'm sure that it would be impossible for outsiders to imagine the devastating scenes and the grief that is unfolding.
I had a lot of fun attempting to recreate this painting of a naked man, as suggested by Wayne for today's Pic-a-Day-in-May.  It was my most challenging self-pic yet as I had only a few seconds to set the timer and fling myself into position, ensuring my manly-bits and face were covered and my limbs were correctly arranged. 

It's a goal of mine to be photographed and/or painted by a professional who has an understanding of the male nude body and is interested in finding the attractiveness in mature men.   As well, I would only do this with an artist who was a gay man ..... and it would be a bonus if he was also hot.

Beautiful Furry Torso Guy

This pic is quite over-exposed and is a rather daring one, for me.  But I'm sure that some of you will like it.

Wow!   I've really fallen off the Pic-a-Day-in-May thing wagon!  I'll be doing Two-Pics-Every-Second-Day in May.   I'm just too busy for a daily post and alternate-day posting allows for a better conversation to develop in the comments.

I'm posting three pics taken this morning under the theme:  "Creative things to do with Mardi Gras Beads."

It's the Victoria Day weekend here and finally we have a bit sunshine after the lousiest weather imaginable..... windy, very cold with a driving rain which prompted local authorities to issue flood warnings for our rivers, already swollen from the spring snow melt.  I have two stories to report on:

A:   Late last night, I got a pof.com message from Beautiful Torso Guy who was in a nearby hotel for the night and wondered if I was interested.  Was I interested?  Hold me back!!!

We had a very pleasant encounter but not nearly as lengthy or exciting as our first meeting where he ended up with a dislocated shoulder.  This time, he had been up since 5:30 am and prior to that, had only 2.5 hours sleep, so he was very, very tired.   But that made our encounter so much sweeter;  it was like making love to a langorous wildcat, stretching and basking in the sun.

Afterwards, we chatted and caught up on our work, family and romantic news.  I'd describe ours as a true 'fuck buddy' relationship but as he lives over 500 km away, he's in town only four or five times per year.   He's just the nicest, funniest, sexiest, most uncomplicated guy I've met so far.

B:    This weekend, I heard yet again from Dating Guy (who I dated for a week in January) and who resurfaced two months later to tell me that he "really, really liked me."   I blogged about him at that time, saying how I really wasn't comfortable with him.... in fact, had NO interest in him at all. 

Here's our POF exchannge:

Dating Guy:   Hi

Buddy Bear:   How have you been?

Dating Guy:   Been so great lately. Down a couple pounds. Which helps the energy level. But Unfortunately had also increased my sex drive. But on the up side I'm getting alot of offers.

Buddy Bear:   Great!  I'd think that an increased sex drive is a good thing.

Dating Guy:    Way too many twinks here. I need to find a mans man.

Buddy Bear:    Most of the guys our age in this town are married and / or in the closet!

 Dating Guy:    And if course I have the night weekend free and me without a sex date.  Lol. Just phone calls away though. I'm back in the saddle babe. :)

Buddy Bear:     I'm glad to hear you're back in the saddle! It's time for me to be really honest here and say that I wouldn't be comfortable hooking up with you. I'm sorry that I feel this way and it would be hard to explain the "why", but that's how it is. :-(

Dating Guy:      Please don't miss read thAt as me putting you in that loop. Don't get me wrong but I'm not interested in ever having any romantic or physical involvement with you. What we did was fine , but who would we be kindling if we didn't admit there was no chemistry there. You're an okay person to chat with but I had realized awhile ago you weren't someone I wanted any more from. (.... and he went on with more of the same....)

My views on this last message:
1.   I think he's full of shit!   I'm certain that he was still trying to get me into his bed.
2.   He also told me that my message (above) was really blunt;  it probably was but what else was a boy to do?  All the subtle messages from me were having no effect.  Another fact:  when he was at my house a few weeks ago and tried to give me a blowjob in my kitchen, my cock went as limp as yesterday's lettuce.  I just wasn't interested in him!!
3.   But I really hope that we will end up platonic gay friends!  He is smart, wickedly funny and knows all the local gay gossip.  I think this might be possible.

Opinions?


What's missing is a sexy man to snuggle up to.

Juggling men

I've been too busy and tired for any creativity in my Pic-a-Day-in-May submissions.   I'll have a bit more time during our upcoming long weekend for Victoria Day.  But here's an update on some of the men most recently in my life.

Incompatible Fuck Buddy:  I ran into him at Wal-Mart yesterday and it was a bit awkward.  I've given up on him because he is such an old fuddy-duddy who's very difficult to get to stick to an arrangement.  And because all he wants to do is be the top, it's a serious case of "sexual incompatibility."  But I need to tell him all of this soon, gently, because he's really a nice guy.

 Handsome Goateed Guy:   He seems to really, really like me.  He's hoping I'll come over to his house on Saturday but I'm too busy as all three kids are still with me .... but mainly, I want more time in between our hookups.  I plan to continue our discussion about having more "balanced" hookups, with a little more effort made to give me pleasure and not just the other way around.  But I really LOVE our encounters;  very, very hot!

Handsome Guy:  I texted the father of my former student (who has Parkinson's Disease) earlier this week and most unusually, he never responded.  Maybe our fling has run it's course.

I have mixed feelings about him.  He is "perfect" in terms of his body type, handsomeness, availability, passion, intelligence, wit, finances and sexual chemistry.... and I mean as a potential LTR.   But I find his thrashing around during our love-making a bit off-putting and I can't imagine taking on a disabled person for the remainder of my life.  (that sounds selfish, I know)

Big Red:   We've messaged extensively on squirt.org and bear411.com but haven't yet hooked up.  At his suggestion, I visited Big Red at his retail workplace today during my lunch break.   He's a big 'un!   6'-2",  +250 pounds, curly red hair and bright blue eyes but very handsome, funny and charismatic.   Intense! And very happy to see me!  He followed up with a nice text and we're actively planning to have a some fun between the sheets.   I just know that we'll have a fun and adventurous time together!

I also have tentative plans with a couple of really nice guys I've been chatting with on squirt and POF, respectively:  a 51 year old DILF from my former neighbourhood who says he knows me (but I don't remember him!) and a 21 year old "athletic build" dude who'se very funny and seems determined for me to take his bottom virginity.