Blog Challenge: Photo a Day in May

I'm spending my first weekend with all my three kids at our waterfront home.   Sweet!   There is much excitement as we unpack with my parents' help, work on some pretty substantial construction projects and plan for future renovations.  

The kids have a strong sense of ownership here unlike when my wife was in charge.  Then, it was all, "This is MY house and we will do what I want...."  It is her way or the highway, all the time, and the kids are really getting tired of it.  Even my oh-so-diplomatic middle daughter admitted, "Mom can be difficult to deal with."

There certainly are hurdles to overcome in my divorce journey and challenging spousal behaviour to deal with, but let's forget about that for now.  I've decided to join  the PHOTO A DAY IN MAY - BLOG CHALLENGE:

Jim, of Jim's Stuff, asked other bloggers to join him in this blog challenge. Every day in May we will take a picture from something happening in our lives, post the picture and maybe a comment about it. 

JOIN US!

Jim

Eric

Kelly

Sean (the other one)

I've been swamped by requests for pics around new new house.... swamped, I tell you!   (er.....  two people requested pics.  Thanks anne marie and WCS!).   All my pics will be taken in and around my house.

I've packed my camera;  who knows when it will show up?   So, here is a poor-quality pics taken with my cell phone camera.

This our favourite place in the house:  the kitchen, rather, one end of the kitchen.  Two leather couches form sort of a "nook" by the door facing the water.   Spectacular view, beautiful sunrises!  

The three dogs have claimed the couches as their sleeping spot.  My own little dog is camouflaged in the black sheepskin rug.  

This blog post seems bare without some sexy guy pictures, so here are two:

Moving out / moving in

We've had an insanely busy last several days but the house is now in possession of the new owners.   I was enormously proud of the kids as they worked tirelessly and without complaint with the packing, moving, cleaning and fix-up jobs.   My parents helped as best they could despite hip and back problems, artificial knees and the like.

At closing yesterday (with the new owners already moving their stuff in!), we toured the empty, gleaming house where I'd lived for over 22 years, taking pictures and recalling fond memories.   Very emotional!  I cried (in private) several times over the past several days;  I really am moving on to my new life.

Now, I have boxes piled to the ceiling and several trailers in the drive waiting to be unpacked, but I'm home.   I couldn't sleep and have been up since 3:30 am, contemplating my new life and planning house improvements.  A mix of emotions, that's for sure!

If I wasn't so broke, I'd have hired a bunch of guys like these hotties from http://scruffy-guys.tumblr.com to help me move.

Tension

 These pictures are for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday .  About 80% of the traffic to this blog comes from Sean's and for that, I am very grateful!  All pics are from menandtheirdogs.  

Yesterday, my wife and I met at our lawyer's office to finalize the sale of our home.  Given her past history of being oppositional, I fully expected her to throw up yet another road block and refuse to sign.   I was dreading the meeting all week.

It was EXTREMELY tense as my wife sat there grim-faced, on the edge of being emotionally distraught, giving one-word answers to the lawyer with the occasional jab at me.  The lawyer, a dear man in his 70s, attempted to thaw the ice with small talk while his staff tiptoed in and out, eyes averted.


It was difficult for everyone, as though some poison emanating from my wife was spreading throughout the room.   You could just taste her bitterness and anger.  But in the end, she signed. so we will be receiving several hundred thousand dollars on Monday.  Woo-hoo!!

In the past month, I've experienced a severe "cash flow" problem with my credit card maxed out and about ten dollars in my back account.   It will be nice to have some relief from that but I will still have to be extremely frugal for the next seven years as I alimony to my wife.  On the plus side, being broke makes it real easy to say, "NO!!!" to the Girl Guide cookie-pushers (and others) who come to the door.  I literally had no money to give them.

Since my wife didn't give the lawyer the deed to my our waterfront home in time (she's lost it!), we will have to all meet again on Wednesday when she is to sign over the deed to the property to me.   The lawyer also appealed to my wife to sign a waiver giving up all rights to the property.

Although the waterfront home will be in my name alone, as long as we are married it will be considered a "joint asset" as long as we are still married.   He said, "You have to agree to sign the waiver and let _____ have the house.  It's the only way you can all move forward."   She nodded but didn't say anything.

Another step forward.

In the meantime, it is very early Saturday morning and in a few hours, my three kids, parents and I will complete the move.   I've been working steadily towards this since last August and the "move out" day is nearly here...  exciting!!!

Meaty Asses

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Home Stretch

I will be mainly without internet this week as I'll be living at our former home in the week prior to closing. There is so much to do in a very little time: moving out, completing repair jobs and cleaning. Recently, all three kids, my late 70s parents and some of my kids' friends have been helping enormously.

The one person absent from this has been my wife. Although she has (for now) stopped throwing up roadblocks every step of the way, she hasn't lifted a finger to help in any way. I think it reflects very badly on her as everyone involved regards her as being lazy, something my parents have always thought. Most of what we're moving is hers and the kids are getting very frustrated. How much "stuff" can she cram into one small house. My son has refused to move any more furniture into his mother's house and says we should haul it all to the town dump.

 What's with this new Blogger Template and control panel? I seem to lost all the links on my blogroll!

 Here are a few beautiful, hairy, naked guys to decorate this sparce post.

Dogably Pawfect Saturday

idleeyesandadormy.com/

These pics are for Sean's Dogably Pawfect Saturday feature.  I think the first pic is the most irresistible of all!

Things are progressing along smoothly here as we approach various important dates.  After 21 years of marriage, dividing our financial affairs takes much time and cooperation.

I'm amazed how easily we're coming to agreements every step of the way.  I think we both can see the end result, the prize, just within our grasp..... an exciting new life not shackled to each other in a miserable marriage.


My new mortgage (to pay my wife half the value of the waterfront home) has been approved for April 27th, although the lenders were a bit concerned about our lack of a separation agreement.   It seems that it is unusual for divorcing couples to successfully go through the "separation of assets" as we have done without some expensive legal paper trail being generated.  My wife had to assist by assuring the lender that yes, we do NOT have a separation agreement and we have no plans to get one.

This weekend, there is going to be some intense moving-out and fixing-up activities at our house which closes on April 30th.   If all goes well, our debt level will be reduced by several hundred thousand dollars in one fell swoop!    Woo-hoo!!  

Canadian LGBQT Activist Beaten to Death

Photo credit:  The National Post

I sometimes paint Canada as some gay Shangri-la where every gay person enjoys an open life, free from any threat of harassment or physical harm.   While Canada is the world leader in LGBQT rights and acceptance, there are still instances of gay-bashing, harassment and discrimination.

While I might kiss my special guy in my own front yard  (where the neighbours might see!  Who cares!!!),  in our smallish, blue-collar city, I cannot imagine us ever walking hand-in hand in public or kissing each other at the airport arrivals area. 

Tragically, a prominent gay activist, Raymond Taavel, was killed Tuesday in what some are calling a hate crime.  Mr. Taavel left a gay bar in Halifax, Nova Scotia at 2:30 am and was killed in a vicious beating by a 32 year old paranoid schizophrenic.   The attacker had a history of violence and was out on a one-hour pass from the psychiatric institution where he lived.    The attacker had been in the gay bar just before the murder and had uttered gay slurs during the beating.

About 1,000 people attended a vigil in Halifax Tuesday night to mourn his loss.