I did NOT take these pics! From: menwearingjeans501.tumblr.com |
I'm always pleasantly surprised that these straight men wear such tight jeans. Distracting! Especially when they're sitting in front of me with their thighs spread wide open! Sadly, all the sexy Dads brought their tubby, lumpy little wives along.
Ours is quite a small town and I fully expect that one day, a couple will arrive for a Parents' Night interview and the husband will turn out to be a guy who I've hooked up with. Awkward!!
A commenter on my last post was concerned that I was planning to host random hook-up guys in my home while my kids were home. (I won't be)
But coincidentally, this subject came up in class last week. One of my grade ten students is always very tired and invariably falls asleep with his head on his desk. I asked him during class: "Why are you so tired all the time? Are you up all night doing online computer games?" This is a very common problem amongst the young men in our classes.
He was indignant: "NO! My parents, they're divorced .... .right? And my mom's a lesbian... okay? I don't care that she's a lesbian.... great! But that's not the problem.
But she brings these women home.... but does she have to bring home a different one EVERY NIGHT?? Last night she brought some chick home from her hockey team and they were going at it all night long! THEY DIDN'T STOP FOR EIGHT HOURS!! I had my pillow over my head but I didn't sleep at all!!!
A few observations:
- He wasn't troubled in the slightest by the fact that his mother came out as gay.
- This whole exchange occurred with an entire class of 15 - 16 year olds listening in. There were no smirks or whispered conversations. No one else seemed to think it was a big deal. Ours is a fairly remote, blue-collar town but this speaks to the high degree of acceptance of LGBTQ people amongst the young people in Canada. It just isn't a big deal.
- As a newly-out gay guy leaving an unhappy marriage, I fully understand that this parent is wallowing in her slut phase and I sympathized with her situation. I'd be hooking up with many more guys if it wasn't for my hosting difficulties.
- As a teacher, it isn't my job to comment on a parent's sex life.... in fact, that would be highly awkward and unprofessional.
- But it is my job to ensure the student is successful as possible in his academic work.
So.... I by-passed the school administration and spoke directly to the school social worker; a fantastic woman who works tirelessly on behalf of our troubled students, LGBTQ and otherwise. She agreed that this was an academic problem and scheduled a meeting with the student.
I heard through the grapevine that the mom also was called into a meeting later in the week; I'm fairly sure that the student's problem in getting enough sleep will be resolved quickly.
I didn't know that lesbians had a "slut phase!" I thought they just got more cats. It' good to know that some chicks out there like sex.
ReplyDeleteThat wasn't the case when I was interested in having sex with them!
Jack.
This is quite a story!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine being called to a school meeting to discuss my distracting sex life. Just wait until she finds out the whole school knows.
Your conversation with the student - in front of the class, no less - would make for a fitting start to a Judd Aptow movie. I suggest that you get started on the rest of the script right away.
I fell asleep once in class and that got me a one way ticket to the guidance councilor. Turns out I was just tired but they investigated.
ReplyDeleteTroublesome for the student in any case. But wait until the mom is called in and it turns out she's not divorced and this wasn't the case at all. My nephew made up a crazy story of child abuse one day in class and DFAC showed up at the house, he needed DFAC after the situation was cleared up.
ReplyDeleteJack: You're one funny guy!
ReplyDeleteTwo Lives: Thanks for commenting! I doubt that the whole school will be talking about it. The student set the tone, making his lesbian mom a non-issue and the other students could care less about it.
We teachers are in a building with 1200 teenagers with raging hormones. We hear stories and field questions about sexual topics constantly. Commonplace! As well, we are bound by fairly strict confidentiality rules which we (sometimes... er... occasionally) follow when gossiping in the staff room.
Gay Groom: that sounds like a lot of "overkill" from the people in charge at your school! It's pretty common for boys to fall asleep in class.
Stephen: You have a point there! While I was sure this was genuine, students can be accomplished liars. We experienced teachers generally refer these matters immediately to admin, Students Services or to the social worker.... safer that way, to let them deal with it!
I was paying attention all the way, I swear I was, until I hit the pictures of the 2 guys at the very end and then I forgot all about the kid and the school and everything else. :-)
ReplyDeleteToo funny! So Will, you like 'em beefy! That's good to know!
DeleteActually, I have no fixed type -- I am more interested in who a man is that what he looks like. However beefy, hairy guys have played a very happy role in my continuing journey through gay life.
ReplyDeleteThis is such an interesting post, & the crotch as it were bump swelling of tissue images of those generic, middle- aged blue-collar daddies in attendance are not without a certain possibility to excite; so, permit this brand-new & already daily reader to wonder whether any of those parents haven't gotten wind of your blog?!
ReplyDeleteThe Parents' Night Dads were generally on the younger side. Woo-hoo! I watch my RevolverMaps / Live Traffic Feed closely and have NEVER noticed any blog traffic from my town other than me.
DeleteIf my blog did become common knowledge in my town, I'd have to shut it down immediately. As a high school teacher, I'd face investigation (and subsequent warning, at the very least) and a huge embarassment for me and my family.
"RevolverMaps / Live Traffic Feed" is new to internet ignoramus me. It sounds as though Big Brother Were Watching You"! Are you saying that when I visit your blog, you know that (a) I have done so & (b) who I am & where I live?! BTW, I'm finding your blog to be not only greatly enjoyable but also so very civilized & literate! Your writing is splendid (I'm a copy editor for a publisher).
DeleteSlut phase or not, it's good to see a teacher that 1) understands the nature of the problem, and 2) goes to the correct person to help deal with it. All too often, when I was working in a high school, the teachers just couldn't wrap their heads around the kids' real issues, and just turned them in as discipline problems instead of academic or social ones. Kudos to you and the social worker!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Thank you! Every teacher in my school would have done the same thing, I think. I constantly impressed by the compassion, perception, knowledge and experience of my fantastic colleagues!
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